IGICE CYA 6

Nakumvikana nte n’abo tuvukana?

Ubanye ute n’abo muvukana? —turi incuti magara —tubanye twihanganirana gusa —duhora dutongana ․․․․․

BAMWE mu bana bavukana barakundana cyane. Urugero, Felicia ufite imyaka 19, yaravuze ati “murumuna wanjye Irena ufite imyaka 16, ni umwe mu ncuti zanjye magara.” Naho Carly, ufite imyaka 17, yavuze uko abanye na musaza we Eric, ufite imyaka 20, ati “tubanye neza cyane kandi ntitujya dushwana.”

Icyakora, abandi bo babanye nk’uko Lauren na Marla babanye. Lauren yaravuze ati “dupfa hafi buri kantu kose, kabone nubwo kaba ari akantu k’amafuti.” Mushobora nanone kuba mubanye nk’uko Alice, ufite imyaka 12, abanye na musaza we Dennis, ufite imyaka 14. Alice yaravuze ati “antera umujinya! Yinjira mu cyumba cyanjye ‘akitiza’ ibintu byanjye atabinsabye. Nanga ko yigira nk’umwana!”

Ese hari uwo muva inda imwe ujya agutera umujinya? Birumvikana ko ababyeyi bawe ari bo bafite inshingano yo kugira icyo bakora, kugira ngo ibyo mu rugo bigende neza. Ariko byatinda byatebuka, hari igihe bizaba ngombwa ko witoza kubana neza n’abandi. Ubwo rero, ibyiza ni uko watangira kubyitoreza mu rugo iwanyu.

Gerageza kwibuka ibibazo wagiranye n’uwo muva inda imwe. Mukunze gupfa iki? Reba muri ibi bintu bikurikira, maze ushyire aka kamenyetso ✔ ku kintu kikurakaza.

□ Ibintu byawe. Uwo tuva inda imwe “yitiza” ibintu byanjye atabinsabye.

□ Kamere zitandukanye. Uwo tuva inda imwe arikunda kandi ntagira icyo yitaho. Ajya ashaka kuntegeka ibyo nkora.

□ Ubuzima bwawe. Uwo tuva inda imwe ajya agira atya akinjira mu cyumba cyanjye adakomanze, cyangwa agasoma ubutumwa bwanjye bwo kuri telefoni cyangwa kuri interineti atansabye uruhushya.

□ Ibindi ․․․․․

Niba uwo muva inda imwe agutesha umutwe, agahora ashaka kugutegeka ibyo ukora cyangwa akakwinjirira mu buzima, bishobora gutuma umwishyiramo. Icyakora, hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya uvuga ko ‘gukanda izuru bizana amaraso no guhembera uburakari bikazana intonganya’ (Imigani 30:33). Kimwe n’uko gukanda izuru bishobora gutuma uva amaraso, kubika inzika bishobora gutuma utomboka ubitewe n’uburakari. Ibyo bishobora gutuma ibintu birushaho kuzamba (Imigani 26:21). Wakwirinda ute ko akantu gato kakurakaje kavamo intonganya zuzuye uburakari? Icyo ugomba kubanza gukora, ni ukumenya neza aho ikibazo nyacyo kiri.

Impamvu nyayo yatumye ikibazo kivuka

Ibibazo abana bavukana bagirana byagereranywa n’indwara y’ibiheri byo mu maso. Nubwo iyo ndwara igaragazwa n’ibiheri byo mu maso, mu by’ukuri icyayiteye kiba kiri mu mubiri. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, iyo abantu bava inda imwe batonganye, akenshi ibyo biba bigaragaza ko hari ikindi kibazo gikomeye bafitanye.

Hari igihe wakumva ko gukanda igiheri, ari byo biri bugikize. Icyakora, icyo gihe uba uvuye ibimenyetso by’indwara gusa, ntuba uvuye indwara ubwayo. Hashobora gusigara inkovu cyangwa iyo ndwara ikarushaho gukomera. Uburyo bwiza bwo kuyivura, ni ukuvura icyayiteye, bityo ukaba wirinze ko haza ibindi biheri byinshi. Ibyo ni na ko bimeze ku bibazo abantu bava inda imwe bagirana. Jya witoza kumenya aho ikibazo nyacyo kiri. Iyo wirengagije akantu gato mupfuye, ubona uko ukemura ikibazo nyacyo gihari ugihereye mu mizi. Nanone, ibyo bizagufasha gukurikiza inama yatanzwe n’umwami w’umunyabwenge Salomo, igira iti “ubushishozi bw’umuntu butuma atinda kurakara.”—Imigani 19:11.

Urugero, Alice twigeze kuvuga yavuze ibya musaza we witwa Dennis, ati “yinjira mu cyumba cyanjye ‘akitiza’ ibintu atabinsabye.” Ibyo ni ibyabaye. Ariko se, utekereza ko ikibazo nyacyo bafitanye ari ikihe? Uko bigaragara, ikibazo ni uko batubahana. Alice ashobora kugikemura yihanangiriza Dennis, akamusaba kutazongera na rimwe kumwinjirira mu cyumba cyangwa gukoresha ibintu bye. Ariko ibyo byaba ari nko gukemura icyo kibazo utagihereye mu mizi, kandi bishobora gutuma havuka izindi ntonganya. Nyamara, Alice ashoboye kuganira na Dennis, akamwumvisha ko atagomba kumuvogera kandi ko agomba kubaha ibye, barushaho kubana neza.

Itoze guhosha amakimbirane cyangwa kuyirinda

Birumvikana ko gutahura ikibazo nyacyo ufitanye n’uwo muva inda imwe, bidasobanura ko uba ugikemuye burundu. None se, wakora iki kugira ngo ukemure ikibazo mufitanye kandi wirinde ko mwazongera gutongana? Gerageza gutera intambwe esheshatu zikurikira.

1. Mugire ibintu runaka mwumvikanaho. Ongera usuzume icyo wavuze ko ari cyo ntandaro yo kutumvikana hagati yawe n’uwo muva inda imwe. Reba niba mwagira ibintu runaka mwembi mwemeranyaho, bishobora gukemura ikibazo nyacyo mufitanye. Urugero, niba mutonganye mupfa ko yitije ibyawe, icya 1 mu byo mwakumvikanaho cyaba iki: “ntihakagire ufata ikintu cy’undi atabanje kukimusaba.” Icya 2: “kubaha uburenganzira uwo muvukana afite bwo kukubwira ati ‘ndanze, ntufate icyo kintu.’” Mu gihe mwumvikana kuri ibyo bintu, mujye muzirikana itegeko rya Yesu rigira riti “ibintu byose mushaka ko abantu babagirira, ni byo namwe mugomba kubagirira” (Matayo 7:12). Nimubigenza mutyo, wowe n’uwo muvukana muzagira ibyo mwumvikanaho kandi mushobore kubikurikiza. Hanyuma, muzamenyeshe ababyeyi banyu ibyo mwumvikanyeho, kugira ngo mumenye niba babyemera.—Abefeso 6:1.

2. Ujye wubahiriza ibyo mwumvikanyeho. Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “none wigisha abandi, ntiwiyigisha? Wowe ubwiriza ngo ‘ntukibe,’ uriba?” (Abaroma 2:21) Iryo hame warishyira mu bikorwa ute? Urugero, niba wifuza ko uwo muva inda imwe atakuvogera, ubwo nawe wagombye gukomanga mbere yo kwinjira mu cyumba cye, cyangwa se ukirinda gusoma ubutumwa bwe bwo kuri telefoni cyangwa kuri interineti atabizi.

3. Ntukarakazwe n’ubusa. Kuki twavuga ko iyo nama ari nziza? Ni uko hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugira uti “abapfapfa ni bo barakazwa n’ubusa” (Umubwiriza 7:9, Bibiliya Ijambo ry’Imana). Niba ukunda kurakazwa n’ubusa, ubuzima buzakubihira. Hari igihe uwo muvukana azajya akora ibintu cyangwa akagira ibyo avuga bikakurakaza. Ariko ibaze uti ‘ese jye sinigeze mukorera ikintu nk’iki’ (Matayo 7:1-5)? Umukobwa witwa Jenny yaravuze ati “igihe nari mfite imyaka 13, numvaga ko igitekerezo cyanjye ari cyo cyiza kandi ko cyagombaga gukurikizwa byanze bikunze. Ubu murumuna wanjye na we ni cyo gihe agezemo. Ibyo bituma ngerageza kutarakazwa n’ibyo avuga.”

4. Jya ubabarira kandi wibagirwe. Ibibazo bikomeye biba bigomba kuganirwaho kandi bigashakirwa umuti. Ariko se ubwo ni ngombwa ko utonganya uwo muva inda imwe kuri buri kosa ryose akoze? Yehova Imana ashimishwa n’uko ‘wirengagiza igicumuro’ (Imigani 19:11). Umukobwa witwa Alison, ufite imyaka 19, yaravuze ati “jye na murumuna wanjye Rachel dusanzwe twikemurira ibibazo tugirana. Twese twihutira gusabana imbabazi, kandi tugasobanura impamvu tubona yaba yatumye dushwana. Hari igihe ndara ntekereza ikibazo dufitanye mbere y’uko nkimubwira. Akenshi iyo bumaze gucya, kumubabarira no kwirengagiza ibyo yankoreye biranyorohera, ku buryo mba numva atari na ngombwa kubigarukaho.”

5. Mujye mwitabaza ababyeyi banyu. Niba wowe n’uwo muva inda imwe mudashobora gukemura ikibazo gikomeye mufitanye, ababyeyi banyu bashobora kubafasha kumvikana (Abaroma 14:19). Icyakora, mujye muzirikana ko iyo mushoboye gukemura ikibazo mufitanye mutitabaje ababyeyi banyu, ari bwo muba mugaragaje ko mumaze guca akenge.

6. Ujye utahura imico myiza y’abo muva inda imwe. Birashoboka ko abo muva inda imwe bafite imico igushimisha. Andika nibura ikintu kimwe ukundira buri wese mu bo muva inda imwe.

Izina

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Icyo mukundira

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Aho kugira ngo uhore uhangayikishijwe n’amakosa y’abo muva inda imwe, kuki utafata akanya ko kubabwira icyo ubakundira?—Zaburi 130:3; Imigani 15:23.

Bibiliya yemera ko hari igihe uwo muva inda imwe atakubera incuti magara (Imigani 18:24). Icyakora, ‘nimukomeza kwihanganirana’ ndetse n’igihe haba hari impamvu zumvikana zatumye ‘mugira icyo mupfa,’ ushobora kuzashimangira ubucuti ufitanye n’abo muva inda imwe (Abakolosayi 3:13). Nubigenza utyo, birashoboka ko abo muva inda imwe bazagira icyo bakora kugira ngo ibikurakaza bigabanuke. Kandi birashoboka ko nawe utazajya ukunda kubarakaza.

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

“Gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose.”—Abafilipi 4:5.

INAMA

Niba kubana neza n’umwe mu bo muva inda imwe bijya bikugora, ntugacike intege: kumwihanganira bizatuma witoza imico myiza izagufasha mu buzima.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Nukura ukava iwanyu, hari igihe uzajya ubana n’abantu bakurakaza, baba abo mukorana cyangwa abandi bantu batagira ikinyabupfura, batagira icyo bitaho kandi bikunda. Ubwo rero, iwanyu ni ho hantu ushobora kwitoreza gukemura ibibazo nk’ibyo mu mahoro.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA

Bimwe mu byo nshobora kumvikanaho n’uwo tuva inda imwe ni ibi: ․․․․․

Ndamutse nkoze ibi bikurikira, incuro narakazaga abo tuva inda imwe zagabanuka: ․․․․․

Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki: ․․․․․

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Kuki ari iby’ingenzi gushyira itandukaniro hagati y’ibyabaye n’impamvu nyayo yabiteye?

● Ni ibihe byiza ukesha kuba ufite abo muva inda imwe?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 46]

‘‘Iyo ntagira abo tuva inda imwe, bimwe mu bihe byiza cyane nibuka nagize mu buzima bwanjye ntibiba byarabayeho. Ku bafite abo bavukana, nababwira nti ‘mujye mubona ko ari ab’agaciro!’’’—Marilyn

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 42]

Urupapuro rw’imyitozo

Jya umenya aho ikibazo kiri

Ese waba wifuza kongera ubushobozi ufite bwo gutahura umuzi w’ibibazo ugirana n’abo muva inda imwe? Niba ari uko bimeze, soma umugani wa Yesu w’umwana w’umuhungu wataye iwabo akajya kwaya umunani we (Luka 15:11-32). Gerageza gutahura uko umuhungu mukuru yabyifashemo igihe murumuna we yagarukaga mu rugo, maze usubize ibibazo bikurikira:

Ni iki cyatumye umuhungu mukuru yitwara atyo? ․․․․․

Ukeka ko ikibazo nyacyo cyari ikihe? ․․․․․

Se yagerageje ate gukemura icyo kibazo? ․․․․․

Umuhungu mukuru yagombaga gukora iki kugira ngo akemure icyo kibazo? ․․․․․

Noneho tekereza ku kibazo uherutse kugirana n’uwo muva inda imwe, hanyuma wandike ibisubizo imbere y’ibibazo bikurikira: ․․․․․

Ni iki cyatumye mutongana? ․․․․․

Ukeka ko ikibazo nyacyo ari ikihe? ․․․․․

Ni ibihe bintu mushobora kumvikanaho kugira ngo icyo kibazo gikemuke, bityo mwirinde kongera gushwana? ․․․․․

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 43]

Ibibazo abana bava inda imwe bagirana byagereranywa n’indwara itera ibiheri byo mu maso. Kugira ngo bikire, wagombye kuvura igitera iyo ndwara aho kuvura ibimenyetso byayo