Fehuʻi ʻa e Toʻutupú . . .

ʻE Lava Fēfē Ke U ʻAi Au Ke U Hā Fakamānako Ange?

“Naʻe ʻikai faingofua pe fakafiemālie ke hokohoko atu ha fetalanoaʻaki mo e tamaiki fefiné. Naʻe ʻikai te u ʻiloʻi ʻa e meʻa naʻa nau fakakaukau ki aí, anga ʻo ʻenau ongoʻí, pe ko e anga ʻo ʻenau vakai ki he ngaahi meʻá.”​—Tyler.

KO E HĀ ʻa e ngaahi ʻulungaanga ʻoku saiʻia taha ai ʻa e tamaiki fefiné ʻi he tamaiki tangatá? Ko e “loto-maʻú,” ko e lau ia ʻa ha tokotaha taʻu hongofulu tupu ko Emily. Ko Robyn, ko ha taʻu hongofulu tupu ia ʻe taha, ʻokú ne fokotuʻu muʻomuʻa ʻa e fakaolí ʻi he meʻa ʻokú ne saiʻia aí. Pea ko e hā ʻoku mahuʻingaʻia taha ai ʻa e tamaiki tangatá ʻi he tamaiki fefiné? ʻOku ʻikai fakaʻohovale, ʻi hono fakahaaʻi ʻe ha savea ʻe taha ko e talavoú ʻoku muʻomuʻa taha kia kinautolú. Ko e tatau ʻa e ngaahi manakó mo e mahuʻingaʻiá naʻe fika ono ia.

Ko e ngaahi kupu mo e ngaahi savea ʻoku lāulea ai ki he vahaʻangatae ʻo e tamasiʻi/taʻahiné ko e ngaahi konga manakoa ia ʻi he ngaahi makasini ʻoku manako ai ʻa e toʻutupú. ʻOku hā mahino, ko e toʻutupu tokolahi ʻoku nau faʻa fakakaukau lahi fekauʻaki—pe mahalo ʻoku aʻu ʻo nau hohaʻa fekauʻaki—mo e anga ʻo e vakai mai kia kinautolu ʻa e tangatá pe fefiné. Mahalo pē ʻoku aʻu ʻo ke hohaʻa mo koe foki ʻo fekauʻaki mo ia ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi. ʻOku ʻikai koeʻuhi kuó ke mateuteu ke mali ʻi ha taimi vavé ni mai. Ko e ʻuhingá pē he ʻoku ʻikai ha taha ʻe saiʻia ke hā taʻefakamānako pe taʻefiemaʻua! ʻOku fakamatala ʻa Tyler: “ʻI he taimi ʻokú ke taʻu hongofulu tupu aí, ʻokú ke loto ke hā fakamānako ki he tokotaha kotoa. ʻOkú ke loto ke ala tali koe ʻe ho ngaahi toʻumeʻá, ʻa e tangata mo e fefine.” Pehē foki, te ke ongoʻi nai ʻe ʻi ai ha ʻaho te ke loto ai ke maʻu ha hoa mali lelei. ʻI he hoko mai ʻa e taimi ko iá, ʻe fakanatula pē hoʻo loto ke ke malava ʻo tohoakiʻi mai ʻa e tokotaha ko iá.

Kae kehe, ʻi he tuʻunga ko ha talavou Kalisitiané, kuo ʻikai nai te ke fuʻu taukei ʻi he feangainga mo e tangatá pe fefiné. Tānaki atu ki ai mo e tenge ʻokú ke ongoʻi nai ʻoku haʻu mei ho ngaahi toʻumeʻá ke hoko ʻo hā fakamānako fakaesinó. ʻI he fakaʻaliʻali ʻo e kau mōtolo lelei tahá mo e kau ʻeti faiva uouaʻia ʻokú ke sio ai he TV pea ʻi he ngaahi makasiní, ʻoku ʻikai fakaʻohovale ʻa hoʻo ongoʻi veiveiua nai mo taʻefeʻungá! Ko e hā leva ʻoku fiemaʻu ke hoko ai ʻo fakamānako ki he niʻihi kehé—kau ai ʻa e faʻahinga ko ia ko e tangatá pe fefiné—ʻi ha founga lelei mo ʻaongá?

Ko e Fakavalevale ʻo e Fakaʻamu ki he Sino “Haohaoá”

Ko e toketā ʻi he kilīniki ki he ʻatamaí ko William S. Pollack ʻokú ne pehē, ʻi he malumalu ʻo e tākiekina ʻa e ngāue ki he fakafiefiá, ko e toʻutupu tokolahi “ʻoku nau fakamoleki ʻa e ngaahi houa taʻefaʻalaua ʻi he fakaholo ʻa e kaí, hiki meʻa mamafá, pea mo hono fai ʻa e fakamālohisino longomoʻuí, ʻi ha feinga pē ke liliu ʻa e lahi mo e fuo ʻo honau sinó.” ʻOku aʻu ʻa e niʻihi ki ha ngaahi tuʻunga tōtuʻa fakatuʻutāmaki, hangē ko e meimei fakaʻaukaiʻi kinautolu, koeʻuhi ke maʻu ʻa e sino “haohaoa” ko iá. Neongo ia, ʻoku pehē ʻe he Senitā Fakatotolo ki he Ngaahi ʻĪsiu Fakasōsialé: “Ko e tuʻunga fakaʻofoʻofa lolotonga ʻoku fakaʻaliʻali ʻe he mītiá ko e tuʻunga haohaoa ia ki he kakai fefiné ʻoku ala lavaʻi ia ʻe he kakai fefine ʻo siʻi hifo ʻi he 5%​—pea ko e foʻi mamafá pē ia mo e lahí. Kapau ʻokú ke fiemaʻu ʻa e haohaoa ʻi he fuó, matá mo e hā fua, ʻoku ngalingali ʻe maʻu pē ia ʻe ha 1%.”

ʻOku ʻaonga leva ai ʻa e faleʻi ʻa e Tohitapú ʻi he Loma 12:2: “ʻOua ʻe tuku ʻa e māmani takatakai ʻiate koé ke ne kokoʻi koe ki he fakafuo ʻaʻaná.” (Phillips) Neongo ia, ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga eni ia, ʻoku totonu ke ke fakataʻetaʻetokanga ai koe ki he anga hoʻo haá. ʻOku ʻuhinga lelei ke tokangaʻi ho sinó fakafou ʻi he fakamālohisino feʻunga mo ha kai palanisi. (Loma 12:1; 1 Timote 4:8) Ko e mohe mo e mālōlō leleí ʻe toe lava ke ne tokoniʻi koe ke ke hā mo ongoʻi lelei ʻaupito ai. ʻI he taimi tatau, tokanga ki hoʻo haisiní mo e teuteu fakafoʻituituí. Ko ha talavou Pilitānia ko hono hingoá ko David ʻokú ne pehē: “ʻOku ʻi ai ha taʻahine ʻoku hā fakamānako nai, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke namu-lelei. ʻOku fakaʻehiʻehi mei ai ʻa e kakaí koeʻuhi ko e meʻa ko ení.” Ko ia ai, toutou kaukau. Ko e nima, ʻulu, mo e ngeʻesi nima maʻá ʻe lava ke toe lelei ange ai hoʻo haá.

Neongo ʻoku ʻikai fakalototoʻaʻi ʻe he Tohitapú ʻa e fakamamafa tōtuʻa ki he meʻa ʻokú ke tuí, ʻokú ne fakahinohino ki he kau Kalisitiané “ke nau teuʻaki kinautolu ʻa e kofu ʻoku ngali ke ʻai, pea ō mo e angamā mo e angafakamaʻumaʻu.” (1 Timote 2:9) Tui ʻa e ngaahi vala ʻokú ne ʻai ke lelei hoʻo haá ka ʻoku ʻikai ke tōtuʻa pe taʻefakanānā.a Ko e tokanga feʻunga ki ho fōtungá ʻe lava ke fakalahi ai ʻa hoʻo loto-maʻú. Ko ha talavou ko Paul ʻokú ne fakamatalaʻi ia ʻo peheni: “ʻOku ʻikai nai te ke maʻu ʻa e fōtunga fakaʻofoʻofa tahá, ka ʻe lava ke ke fakaleleiʻi ʻa e tuʻunga ʻokú ke ʻi aí.”

Ngaahi ʻUlungaanga ʻi Lotó

Lolotonga ʻe tohoakiʻi nai ʻa e tokangá ʻe ha mata mo ha fōtunga lelei, ʻi he lele lōloá ko e “fakaʻofoʻofá ko ha kiʻi foʻi pula koa ia.” (Palovepi 31:​30, Byington) Ko e hā leleí ʻoku faʻa taimi nounou ia, pea ʻoku ʻikai moʻoni te ne fetongi ʻa e ngaahi ʻulungaanga fakamānako fakafoʻituituí. (Palovepi 11:22) Manatuʻi foki, “ʻoku sio ʻa e tangata ki he mata, ka ʻoku sio ʻa e ʻEiki ki he loto.” (1 Samiuela 16:7) Ko ia ai, ʻi he ʻikai fakahangataha kotoa hoʻo tokangá ki ho kongalotó pe ko ho ngaahi uouá, ngāue ki hono teuʻi koe ʻaki “ʻa e tangata fufū ʻo e loto, ʻio, ʻaki ʻa e meʻa taʻe ʻauha ko e angavavai mo e angamalū, ʻa ia ko e meʻa mahuʻinga ʻaupito ʻi he ʻafio ʻa e ʻOtua.” (1 Pita 3:​3, 4; Efeso 4:24) Ko e moʻoni, ʻi he māmani ʻo e ʻaho ní ʻe siʻi nai ʻa e tokanga ʻa e kau talavou tokolahi ki he ngaahi tōʻonga lelei fakaeʻulungāngá—ʻo siʻi ʻaupito ki he ngaahi ʻulungaanga fakalaumālié.b Ka ko e faʻahinga ʻoku nau maʻu ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga mahuʻinga fakaʻotuá ʻoku nau koloaʻaki ia pea ʻiloʻi ʻoku fakamānako!

Ko e founga lelei taha leva ke hoko ai ʻo hā fakamānako ki he kakai tangata mo e kakai fefine Kalisitiane ʻoku fakakaukau fakalaumālié ke ke hoko tonu ʻo fakakaukau fakalaumālie. Fakatupulekina ho tuʻunga fakalaumālié fakafou ʻi he lotu, ako fakafoʻituitui ʻa e Tohitapú, mo e maʻu ʻa e ngaahi fakataha faka-Kalisitiané. (Sāme 1:​1-3) Neongo ia, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e ngaahi pōtoʻi ʻaonga mo e ngaahi tōʻonga kehe ʻe lava ke ke fakatupu. ʻOku ʻikai fiemaʻu ke ke faialea, pe kau ki ha vahaʻangatae fakaemanako ke fakatupulekina ai ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga ko ení. ʻI hono kehé, ʻe lava ke ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ia ʻi hoʻo feangainga fakaʻaho mo e niʻihi kehé.

Ko e fakatātaá, ʻokú ke ongoʻi taʻetaau mo mā ʻi he ʻi ai ha tangatá pe fefiné? Ko ha talavou ko hono hingoá ko Paul ʻokú ne fakahaaʻi: “ʻOku ou ongoʻi faingataʻaʻia ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi—koeʻuhi ko e tamaiki fefine kinautolu, pea ʻoku ʻikai ke u mahinoʻi ʻa e tamaiki fefiné ʻo hangē ko ʻeku mahinoʻi ʻa e kakai tangatá. Pea ʻoku ʻikai te u loto ke u fakamaaʻi au.” ʻE lava fēfē ke ke fakatupu ʻa e loto-maʻu mo e mapuleʻi ʻa ia te ne ʻai ke ongoʻi fiemālie ai ʻa e niʻihi kehé? Ko e founga ʻe taha, ko e ngāueleleiʻaki ʻa e tuʻunga kehekehe lahi ʻo e feohi ʻoku ala maʻu ʻi he fakatahaʻanga Kalisitiané. ʻI he ngaahi fakatahá, ʻai ke ke mahuʻingaʻia fakafoʻituitui ʻi he niʻihi kehé—ʻo ʻikai ko e ngaahi mēmipa pē ʻo e tangata pe fefine ʻi he taʻumotuʻa ʻoʻoú kae toe pehē foki ki he fānaú, kakai lalahí mo e faʻahinga taʻumotuʻá. (Filipai 2:4) Ko e ako ke feangainga lelei mo e kakai kehekehe peheé ʻe tokoni ia kiate koe ke ke maʻu ai ʻa e loto-maʻú.

Neongo ia, ke ke tokanga. He naʻe pehē moʻoni ʻe Sīsū: “Te ke ʻofa ki ho kaungaʻapi ʻo hange pe ko hoʻo ʻofa kiate koe.” (Mātiu 19:​19, fakaʻītali ʻamautolu.) Kapau ʻokú ke ongoʻi pau fekauʻaki mo koe tonu, ngalingali ʻe siʻi ange ai hoʻo ongoʻi makaka mo taʻetaau ʻi he ʻao ʻo e niʻihi kehé.c Kae kehe, lolotonga ʻoku fiemaʻu ke maʻu ha tuʻunga ʻo e tokaʻi-kitá, ʻoua ʻe ʻai ke fuʻu tōtuʻá. “Ko ʻeku lea ʻeni kiate kimoutolu tāutaha,” ko e lau ia ʻa e ʻapositolo ko Paulá, “ke ʻoua naʻa hulu atu ʻene fakakaukau kiate ia ʻi he meʻa ʻoku totonu.”—Loma 12:3.

Vakaiʻi totonu foki hoʻo ngaahi tōʻongá mo hoʻo pōtoʻi fakasōsialé. ʻOku pehē ʻe ha taʻahine Pilitānia ko hono hingoá ko Lydia: “ʻOku ʻi ai ha tamasiʻi ʻi hoku ʻapiakó ʻa ia ʻoku kiʻi manakoa ʻe he tamaiki fefine tokolahi. Ka ʻi he hili ʻenau hoko ʻo ʻiloʻi lelei iá, ʻoku ʻikai te nau saiʻia ai koeʻuhi ʻokú ne anga-kovi mo taʻefakapotopoto.” ʻOku tohoakiʻi ʻa e kakaí ki ha taha ʻokú ne ngāueʻaki ʻa e lea anga-ʻofá mo fakaalaalá pea ʻokú ne fakahaaʻi ʻa e fakaʻatuʻi ki he niʻihi kehé. (Efeso 4:​29, 32; 5:​1-3 [3, 4, PM]) “Ko ha ngaahi tōʻonga lelei ʻoku hangē ia ha tikite hū, ʻo fakaʻatā ai ʻa e tauʻatāina mo e fetuʻutaki pea mo e kakaí,” ko e lau ia ʻa Dr. T. Berry Brazelton. Ko e tōʻongá “ʻoku mātuʻaki fiemaʻu ia ki he hoko ʻo talitali lelei ʻe he niʻihi kehé.”

Ko e ngaahi anga fakafonua mo e ngaahi lao ki he anga fakaʻapaʻapá ʻoku kehekehe ia takatakai ʻi he māmaní. Ko ia ai, te ke loto nai ke vakaiʻi ʻa e anga ʻo e feangaingaʻaki ʻa e kau tangata mo e kau fefine Kalisitiane matuʻotuʻá. Ko e fakatātaá, ʻoku tōʻongaʻaki ʻi ho fonuá ki ha tangata ke ne fakaava ha matapā ki ha fefine? Ko e ako leva ke fakahaaʻi atu ʻa e anga-fakaʻapaʻapa ko ení ʻe lelei ange ai ho ongoongó ʻi he tuʻunga ko ha tokotaha ʻoku faʻa mapuleʻi mo ʻulungaanga lelei.

Fakaʻosí, te ke ʻiloʻi nai ʻoku ʻaonga ke fakatupu ha anga-fakakata mafamafatatau. ʻOku pehē ʻe he Tohitapú ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e “ʻaho ke kata,” pea ko ha tokotaha ʻoku anga-fakakatá ʻoku faʻa faingofua ange ai ʻene maʻu ha ngaahi kaumeʻá.—Koheleti 3:​1, 4.

Fepaki ʻa e Anga-Fakakaumeʻá mo e Fakamalingá

Ko ha “tataki [naʻe taku] ki he lavameʻa ʻi he faialeá,” ne fakahinohino ai ko e fakapulipuli ki hono tohoakiʻi ʻa e tangatá pe fefiné ko e fakamalingá. Naʻe tala ai ki he kau lautohí ke nau ʻahiʻahi malimali pea fai ha fetuʻutaki ʻaki ʻa e matá pea ke fakaleleiʻi ʻa e ‘ngaahi lea fakafeʻiloakí.’ ʻOku fepaki ʻa e fakahinohino ko iá mo e laumālie ʻo e akonaki ʻa Paula kia Tīmote ke tōʻongaʻaki ki he ngaahi mēmipa ko e tangatá pe fefiné ʻa e “agamaa kotoabe.”—1 Timote 5:​2, PM.

Neongo ʻe langa hake nai ʻe he fakamalingá ha tuʻunga fie tangata ʻa ha taha, ʻoku taʻemoʻoni ia mo taʻefaitotonu. ʻOku ʻikai fiemaʻu ke ke fakamalinga pe fakangalingali anga-fakanānā ke fakahoko ai ha fetalanoaʻaki fakamānako. Pea ʻoku ʻikai fiemaʻu ke ke ʻeke ha ngaahi fehuʻi fakamā pe taʻefeʻunga ke ʻiloʻi ai ʻa e anga ʻo e ongoʻi mo e fakakaukau ʻa e tangatá pe fefiné. Kīvoi ʻi he talanoa fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku ‘totonú, maʻa mo fakaʻofoʻofá,’ pea te ke fakahaaʻi ai ʻokú ke ʻi he hala moʻoni ki he tupulaki ʻo hoko ko ha tangata pe fefine matuʻotuʻa mo fakakaukau fakalaumālié. (Filipai 4:8) Ko hoʻo talangofua ki he ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni fakaʻotuá te ne ʻai ai koe ke ke hā fakamānako ʻo ʻikai ki he tangatá pe fefiné pē ka ki he ʻOtuá tonu.d​—Palovepi 1:​7-9.

[Fakamatala ʻi lalo]

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ʻI he ʻikai tokangataha ki hoʻo haá, ngāue ki hono fakatupulekina ʻa e ngaahi ʻulungaanga fakalaumālié

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Ako ke fiemālie ʻi ha kakai tokolahi kehekehe