ʻOkú Ke Fakamoleki ha Taimi mo Ho Fāmilí?

“ʻOKU ʻOfaʻi ʻa e Ngaahi Tamai Siapaní​—Neongo e Femoʻuekina ʻi he Ngāué pea ʻIkai Vaʻinga mo ʻEnau Fānaú.” ʻI he ngaahi taʻu kuohilí naʻe hā ai ʻa e ʻuluʻi-kaveinga ko ení ʻi he Mainichi Shimbun. Naʻe līpooti ʻi he kupú ko e peseti ʻe 87.8 ʻo e fānau Siapani naʻa nau kau ʻi ha savea fakapuleʻanga, naʻa nau fakahāhā ʻenau holi ke tokangaʻi ʻenau ngaahi tamaí ʻi he kahaʻú. Kae kehe, ʻi he pulusinga faka-Pilitānia ʻo e pepá, naʻe hā ai ʻa e kupu tatau ʻi ha ʻuluʻi-kaveinga kehe. Naʻe pehē ai “Ngaahi Tamaí mo e Ngaahi Fohá: Ko ha Keisi ʻo e Liʻekiná.” ʻI he ʻikai tatau mo e pulusinga faka-Siapaní, naʻe fakaeʻa ʻe he kupú ʻa e tafaʻaki ʻe taha ʻo e savea tatau: ʻI he ʻaho ngāue taki taha, naʻe fakamoleki ai ʻe he ngaahi tamai Siapaní ʻa e miniti pē ʻe 36 ki heʻenau fānaú. ʻI hono fakahoa atú, ko e ngaahi tamai ʻi Siamane Hihifó naʻa nau fakamoleki ʻa e miniti ʻe 44 ki heʻenau fānaú ʻi he ʻaho he uiké, pea ʻi he ʻIunaite Seteté, ko e fiká ko e miniti ʻe 56.

ʻOku ʻikai ko e ngaahi tamaí pē ʻoku nau fakamoleki ʻa e taimi siʻisiʻi ki heʻenau fānaú. ʻOku toe lahi ange ʻa e ngaahi faʻē ʻoku nau ngāue ʻi tuʻa ʻi he ʻapí. Ko e fakatātaá, ʻoku pau ke ngāue fakaemāmani ʻa e ngaahi faʻē taʻemali tokolahi ke tokoniʻi ʻa e fāmilí. Ko hono ikuʻangá, ko e lahi ʻo e taimi ko ia ʻoku hanga ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻá​—ʻa e ngaahi tamaí pea pehē pē ki he ngaahi faʻeé​—ʻo fakamoleki ki heʻenau fānaú ʻoku hōloa.

Naʻe maʻu ʻi ha ako ʻi he 1997 ki he kau taʻu hongofulu tupu ʻAmelika laka hake he toko 12,000 ko e toʻutupu ko ia ʻoku nau maʻu ʻa e vahaʻangatae vāofi mo ʻenau ngaahi mātuʻá ngalingali ʻe siʻi ange ʻenau faingataʻaʻia ʻi he mafasia fakaeongó, ke maʻu ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau taonakita, ke kau ʻi he fakamālohí, pe ke ngāueʻaki ʻa e ngaahi meʻa fakatupu maʻunimaá. Pea ko e taha ʻo e kau fekumi naʻe kau ʻi he ako fakalahí naʻá ne pehē: “Heʻikai lava ke ke maʻu ha mahino fekauʻaki mo e tuʻunga felāveʻiʻaki mo e kau leká kae ʻoua ke ke ʻi ai maʻanautolu.” Ko e fakamoleki ha taimi mo hoʻo fānaú mo e fetuʻutaki mo kinautolú ʻoku mahuʻinga.

Ko e Motuhia ʻa e Fetuʻutakí

ʻOku tautefito ʻa e tōngofua ki he movete ʻa e fetuʻutakí, ʻa e ngaahi fāmili ko ia ʻoku nofo mamaʻo ai ha mātuʻa mei ʻapi ʻi ha ngāue kuo vaheʻi mamaʻo. Ko e moʻoni, ko e motuhia ʻa e fetuʻutakí ʻoku ʻikai fakangatangata pē ia ki he ngaahi fāmili ʻoku nofo mamaʻo ai mei ʻapi ha mātuʻá. Ko e ngaahi mātuʻa ʻe niʻihi, neongo ʻa e nofo ʻi ʻapí, ʻoku nau ō ki he ngāué ki muʻa ke ʻā hake ʻenau fānaú pea nau foki mai ki ʻapi ʻi he hili ʻenau mohé. Ke huhuʻi ʻa e ola ʻo e taʻeʻiai ʻa e fetuʻutakí, ʻoku fakamoleki ai ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻa pau ia ha taimi mo e fāmilí ʻi he ngaahi fakaʻosinga ʻo e uiké pea mo e ngaahi ʻaho mālōloó. ʻOku nau talanoa fekauʻaki mo hano fakamoleki ha taimi “lelei” mo ʻenau fānaú.

Neongo ia, ʻoku huhuʻi ʻe he leleí ʻa e siʻi ʻo hono lahí? ʻOku tali ia ʻe he tokotaha fekumi ko Laurence Steinberg: “ʻI hono fakalūkufuá, ko e kau leka ko ia ʻoku nau fakamoleki ha taimi lahi ange mo ʻenau ngaahi mātuʻá ʻoku nau lelei ange ʻi he kau leka ko ia ʻoku nau fakamoleki ha taimi siʻi angé. ʻOku hā mātuʻaki faingataʻa ke fakaleleiʻi ʻa e ʻikai ko ia ha taimí. Ko e fakakaukau fekauʻaki mo e taimi leleí kuo fuʻu māʻolunga.” Ko e anga tofu pē ia ʻa e ongoʻi ʻa ha fefine Pema. Ko hono husepānití​—ko ha tangata Siapani anga-maheni​—ʻokú ne foki mai ki ʻapi mei he ngāué ʻi he tahá pe uá ʻi he pongipongi kotoa. Neongo ʻokú ne fakamoleki ha taimi mo hono fāmilí ʻi he ngaahi fakaʻosinga ʻo e uiké, ʻoku pehē ʻe hono uaifí: “Ko e ʻi ʻapi ʻi he ngaahi ʻaho Tokonakí mo e Sāpaté heʻikai lava ke ne fetongi ʻa e motuhia ʻo e ʻikai ke fakataha mo e fāmilí ʻi he toenga ʻo e uiké. . . . ʻE lava ke ke liʻaki ʻa e ngaahi houa kai kotoa ʻi he ngaahi ʻaho ʻo e uiké pea kai ʻa e ngaahi houa kai kotoa ʻo e uiké ʻi he ngaahi ʻaho Tokonakí mo e Sāpaté?”

Fiemaʻu ʻa e Feinga Mālohi

Ko hono tauhi maʻu ʻa e fetuʻutaki lelei ʻi he fāmilí ʻoku faingofua ange hono leaʻakí ʻi hono faí. Ko e ngaahi fiemaʻu ki hono fai ha ngāue pea tokonaki ki he fāmilí ʻoku ʻikai te ne ʻai ai ʻe ia ke faingofua ki ha tamai pe ko ha faʻē ʻoku ngāue ke fakamoleki ha taimi ki hono fāmilí. Ko e tokolahi ʻa ia ʻoku fiemaʻu kinautolu ʻe honau tuʻungá ke mamaʻo mei ʻapí ʻoku nau fetuʻutaki maʻu pē ʻaki hono fai ha ngaahi tā telefoni pe faitohi. Kae tatau ai pē pe ʻoku fakataha ʻi ʻapi pe ʻikai, ʻoku fiemaʻu ʻa e feinga mālohi ke tauhi maʻu ha fetuʻutaki fakafāmili lelei.

Ko e ngaahi mātuʻa ko ia ʻoku nau fakaliʻeliʻaki ʻa e fetuʻutaki mo honau fāmilí kuo pau ke nau fua ʻenau fakaliʻeliʻakí. Ko ha tamai ʻa ia naʻá ne fakamoleki ha taimi siʻi ki hono fāmilí, naʻa mo e ʻikai ke kai mo kinautolu, naʻá ne fehangahangai mo e ngaahi nunuʻa mafatukituki. Naʻe hoko hono fohá ʻo fakamālohi, pea naʻe maʻu ʻa e kaihaʻa ʻa hono ʻofefiné mei he falekoloá. ʻI he teuteu ʻa e tamaí ke ʻalu ki he malaʻe tā pulú ʻi he pongipongi Sāpate ʻe taha, naʻe tali tōtōlili ki ai ʻa e fohá: “Ko e faʻeé pē ʻa e mātuʻa ʻi he ʻapi ko ení?” ko ʻene kailá ia. “ʻOku fakapapauʻi ʻe he fineʻeikí ʻa e meʻa kotoa ʻi he fāmilí. Tangataʻeiki, ko koé ʻoku ʻikai ʻaupito . . . ,” ko e tangi mamahi ia ʻa e tamasiʻí.

Naʻe ʻai ʻe he ngaahi lea ko iá ʻa e tamaí ke fakakaukau. Naʻe faifai ʻo ne fakapapauʻi, ke hoko ko ha kamata, ʻoku totonu ke ne kai pongipongi mo hono fāmilí. ʻI he ʻuluaki taimí, ko ia pē mo hono uaifí. Faifai atu pē, naʻe kau mai ki ai mo e fānaú, pea naʻe hoko ʻa e tēpile kai pongipongí ko ha ʻātakai ia ʻo e fetuʻutakí. Naʻe taki atu ʻe he meʻá ni ki he kai efiafi fakafāmili fakataha. Ko ia, naʻe feinga ʻa e tangatá ke fakahaofi ʻa hono fāmilí mei he mātuʻaki moveteveté.

Tokoni mei he Folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá

ʻOku fakalotolahiʻi ʻe he Tohitapú ʻa e ngaahi mātuʻá ke vaheʻi ha taimi ke fetuʻutaki ai mo ʻenau fānaú. Fakafou ʻi he palōfita ko Mōsesé, naʻe fakahinohino ki he kau ʻIsilelí: “Fanongo mai, ʻa Isileli, Ko Sihova ko hotau ʻOtua ko e tahaʻi Sihova ia: pea te ke ʻofa ki he ʻEiki ko ho ʻOtua ʻaki ʻa e kotoa ʻo ho loto, mo e kotoa ʻo ho laumalie, mo e kotoa ʻo ho ivi. Pea ko e ngaahi foʻi folofola ko ʻeni ʻoku ou kouna atu he ʻaho ni ʻe fuesia ʻe ho loto: pea te ke uhuʻi ki hoʻo fanau, pea te ke lea ki ai ʻi hoʻo nofo ʻi ho fale, pea ʻi hoʻo ʻalu ʻi he hala, pea ʻi hoʻo tokoto hifo, pea ʻi hoʻo tuʻu hake.” (Teutalonome 6:​4-7) ʻIo, ko e faʻahinga ʻo kitautolu ko e ngaahi mātuʻá ʻoku fiemaʻu ke tau muʻomuʻa ʻi he fakamoleki ha taimi mo hotau fāmilí kapau ʻoku fiemaʻu ke tau fakahūhū ʻa e ngaahi foʻi folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá ki he ʻatamai mo e loto ʻo e fānaú.

ʻOku mahuʻingá, ko e savea ʻi he 1997 naʻe lave ki ai ki muʻa fekauʻaki mo e toʻutupu ʻAmelika laka hake he toko 12,000 naʻe fakaeʻa ai “ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo e meimei 88%  . . . ʻo e tokolahi ko ia naʻa nau līpooti ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau lotú, ko e mahuʻinga ʻoku lāuʻilo ki ai fekauʻaki mo e lotú pea mo e lea ʻo lotú naʻe hoko ko e maluʻanga.” ʻOku fakatokangaʻi ʻe he kau Kalisitiane moʻoní ko e fakahinohino fakalotu totonu ʻi ʻapí ʻokú ne maluʻi ʻa e toʻutupú mei he ngaahi meʻa hangē ko e ngāuekoviʻaki ʻa e meʻa fakatupu maʻunimaá, mamahi fakaeongó, taonakitá, fakamālohí, mo e alā meʻa pehē.

ʻOku ongoʻi ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻa ia ʻe niʻihi ʻoku faingataʻa ke maʻu ha taimi maʻa honau fāmilí. Tautefito ʻa e pehē ʻa e meʻá ni ʻi he ngaahi faʻē taʻemalí, ʻa ia te nau fiefia ʻi he fakamoleki ha taimi ki heʻenau fānaú ka kuo pau ke nau ngāue fakaemāmaní. ʻE lava fēfē ke nau maʻu mai ha taimi mahuʻinga ke nau fakataha ai mo honau fāmilí? “Maluʻi ʻa e poto ʻaongá mo e malava fakaefakakaukaú,” ko e enginaki ia ʻa e Tohitapú. (Palovepi 3:​21, NW) ʻE lava ke ngāueʻaki ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻá ʻa e “malava fakaefakakaukaú” ke vaheʻi ha taimi ki he fāmilí. ʻO anga-fēfē?

Kapau ko ha faʻē ngāue koe ʻokú ke ongoʻi helaʻia hili ha ʻaho ngāue, fēfē ke kole ki hoʻo fānaú ke teuteu ha houa kai fakataha mo koe? Ko e taimi pehē ʻoku ngāueʻaki fakatahá te ne ʻomai ʻa e faingamālie ke hoko ʻo fevāofiʻaki ai. ʻI he ʻuluaki taimí, ko hono fakakau mai hoʻo fānaú ʻe fiemaʻu nai ai ʻa e taimi lahi ange. Neongo ia, ʻe vave pē ʻa hoʻo ʻiloʻi ʻa ʻene fakafiefia pea naʻa mo e ʻikai ke fakamole taimi.

Ko ha tamai nai koe mo ha fakahokohoko kuo fonu ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ke fai ʻi he ngaahi fakaʻosinga ʻo e uiké. Ko e hā ʻoku ʻikai tokangaʻi ai ʻa e niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi ngāué ni mo hoʻo fānaú? ʻE lava ke ke fetuʻutaki mo kinautolu ʻi hoʻomou ngāue fakatahá pea ʻi he taimi tatau ʻoange kiate kinautolu ha ako mahuʻinga. Ko e naʻinaʻi ʻa e Tohitapú ke fakahūhū ʻa e ngaahi foʻi folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá ki hoʻo fānaú ʻokú ne fakalototoʻaʻi koe ke lea kiate kinautolu ‘ʻi hoʻo nofo ʻi ho falé, pea ʻi hoʻo ʻalu ʻi he halá’​—ko hono moʻoní, ʻi he faingamālie kotoa pē. Ko ha fakahāhā ia ʻo e “poto ʻaonga” ke fetuʻutaki mo hoʻo fānaú ʻi hoʻomou ngāue fakatahá.

Ko e fakamoleki ha taimi ki ho fāmilí ʻoku ʻi ai hono ngaahi pale tuʻuloa. “Ko e fua ʻoku maʻu ʻe he kau tali faleʻi ko e poto,” ko e lau ia ʻa ha palōvepi Tohitapu. (Palovepi 13:10) ʻI hono vaheʻi ha taimi ke fetuʻutaki ai mo ho fāmilí, te ke ʻi ha tuʻunga lelei ai ke ʻoange kiate kinautolu ʻa e fakahinohino fakapotopoto ʻi he ngaahi fāinga ʻo e moʻuí ʻi he ʻaho kotoa pē. Ko e fakahinohino pehē ʻoku fai he taimi ní ʻe lava ke ne fakahaofi ʻa e taimi lahi pea mo e loto-mamahi ʻi he kahaʻú. ʻIkai ko ia pē, ʻe lava ke tokoni ia ki hoʻo fiefiá mo haʻanautolú. Ke fai ʻa e fakahinohino peheé, ʻoku fiemaʻu ke ke toʻo hake mei he tānakiʻanga lahi ʻo e potó ʻa ia ʻoku maʻu ʻi he Folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá, ko e Tohitapú. Ngāueʻaki ia ke akoʻi ʻa hoʻo fānaú pea ke tatakiʻaki ʻa e ngaahi laka ʻa ho fāmilí.​—Sāme 119:105.

[Fakamatala ʻi he peesi 4]

Ko e toʻutupu ʻoku nau maʻu ʻa e ngaahi vahaʻangatae vāofi mo ʻenau ngaahi mātuʻá ngalingali ʻe siʻi ʻenau faingataʻaʻia ʻi he mafasia fakaeongó

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 5]

Ko e fetuʻutaki leleí ʻoku maʻu ai ʻa e ngaahi pale tuʻuloa ʻi he moʻui fakafāmilí

[Fakamatala ʻi he peesi 6]

ʻI hoʻo ngāue fakataha mo hoʻo kiʻi tamá, ʻe lava ke ke fetuʻutaki pea ʻoange ai ha ako mahuʻinga