MAKANI AAYEEME AMUTWE UULI ACIVWUMBYO

Kukomezya Bana Babikkila Bamwi Maano Munyika Yabusyaacivwulemwangu

BUZUBA abuzuba bubapa coolwe bantu cakutondezya lubomba kulibamwi. Nokuba boobo, bantu banji balaliyanda. Eeci cilalibonya koonse-koonse—mumilimo yalweeno, muŋambawido yabo, mbobeenzya myootokala alimwi ambobanyema kapati.

Muuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu ulalibonya amumikwasyi minji. Mucikozyanyo, banabukwetene bamwi balalekana akaambo buyo “kakuyanda kulikkomanisya.” Nobaba bazyali cakutazyiba balakonzya kuutalisya muuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu. Munzila nzi? Kwiinda mukubalendekezya bana babo, alimwi akwaalilwa kulaya bana kuti naa balubizya.

Mukwiimpana, bazyali bamwi bayiisya bana babo kuti kababikka ziyandika zyabamwi mubusena bwakusaanguna, alimwi bagwasyigwa kapati. Bana batajisi muuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu balajana balongwe banji alimwi zilongwe eezyo zilayuma akuzumanana. Alimwi balakonzya kukkomana. Nkaambo nzi? Akaambo kakuti, kweelana ambolyaamba Bbaibbele, “kupa kulakkomanisya kapati kwiinda kutambula.”—Milimo 20:35.

Kuti kamuli muzyali, mbuti mbomukonzya kugwasya bana banu kujana zilongezyo akaambo kakutondezya lubomba alimwi akukaka muuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu uuvwulide munyika? Amulange-lange twaambo totatwe tukonzya kupa bana banu kuba aamuuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu alimwi akubona mbomukonzya kuweeleba muuya ooyu.

1 Kuciindizya kulumbaizya

Penzi. Basikuvwuntauzya bajana kuti kuli penzi lipati: Penzi eeli ndyakuti bakubusi banji balanjila milimo kabajisi muzeezo wakuti banoolumbaizyigwa lyoonse nokuba kuti kunyina cini ncobacita. Bamwi bayeeyela kuti inga basumpulwa cakufwambaana kabatana akuuzyiba kabotu mulimo. Bamwi bayeeya kuti balayandika kapati kwiinda bamwi akuti beelede kubonwa boobo, mpoonya balatyompwa ikuti zyintu kazitacitiki mbuli mbobayeeya.

Cipa kuti penzi litalike. Zimwi ziindi muuya wakuyanda kulumbaizyigwa ulakonzya kuba, kweelana ambwaakakomezyegwa muntu. Mucikozyanyo, bazyali bamwi bayungwa kapati amuuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu iwaduma kapati mumyaka misyoonto yainda. Muuya ooyu wakayeeme atwaambo twakali kulibonya kuti tulalimvwisya itwakuti: Ikuti kulumbaizyigwa asyoonto kakumukkomanisya mwana, nkokuti unooyandika kulumbaizyigwa lyoonse. Kulubazu lumwi, bakali kuyeeya kuti kutamulumbaizya mwana inga kwapa kuti atyompwe. Alimwi munyika iikulwaizya muuya wabusyaacivwulemwangu, kutalumbaizya bana kwakali kubonwa kuti nkwaalilwa kubakomezya kabotu. Bazyali bakali kwaambilwa kuti tabeelede kupa bana babo kuti balimvwe kutyompwa.

Bazyali banji bakaba aacilengwa cakulumbaizya bana babo nokuba kuti kunyina mulimo wamaano wacitwa. Kufwumbwa mulimo mwana ngwaacita, nouceya buti, wakali kulumbaizyigwa; pele ikuti naa walubizya, nokuba kuti kulubizya ooko nkupati buti, kunyina naakali kusubulwa. Bazyali aaba bakali kusyoma kuti kutegwa mwana kalimvwa kuti ulayandika kapati, teelede kusubulwa ikuti naa wacita cibi, pele weelede kulumbaizyigwa muzyintu zyoonse nzyacita. Bakali kubikkila maano kukukkomanisya bana kwiinda kubayiisya kuti babe bankutwe akubeleka milimo iikonzya kubakkomanisya.

Ncolyaamba Bbaibbele. Bbaibbele lilaamba kuti kulumbaizya kulayandika ciindi nokweelede. (Matayo 25:19-21) Pele kulumbaizya buyo bana kutegwa bakkomane inga capa kuti batalizyibi kabotu. Cakusalazya Bbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Ikuti naa umwi uyeeya kuti ulayandika kapati kakuli kunyina ambwabede, ulalyeena lwakwe mwini.” (Bagalatiya 6:3) Nkakaambo kaako Bbaibbele ncolyaambila bazyali kuti: “Utakaki kukoma mwana; na wamuuma amusako, takoofwa pe.”a—Tusimpi 23:13.

Ncomukonzya kucita. Amube aamakanze aakupa lulayo ciindi nokuyandika alimwi akulumb

aizya ciindi nokwayandika kucita boobo. Mutanoobalumbaizyi bana akaambo buyo kakuyanda kubakkomanisya. Mubwini, tacikamugwasyi pe. Bbuku liitwa kuti Generation Me, lyaamba kuti “Kulumbaizyigwa kwini-kwini, kuzwa mukwiiya milimo imwi asyoonto-syoonto alimwi akucikonzya kucita milimo eeyo, kutali kwiile kulumbaizyigwa buyo akaambo kakuti ulapona.”

2 Kuciindizya kukwabilila

Penzi. Bakubusi banji balalembwa milimo kabatalibambilide kubuyumuyumu bujanika. Bamwi balatyompwa ciindi nobajana buyumuyumu nobuceya buti. Ibamwi cilabayumina kubeleka kabakkomene, ccita buyo kuti bapegwa mulimo waatala ngobayanda. Mucikozyanyo, bbuku liitwa kuti Escaping the Endless Adolescence, ba Dr. Joseph Allen bakaamba kujatikizya majwi ngaakaamba mukubusi umwi ciindi nibakali kumubuzya-buzya kutegwa bamulembe mulimo. Wakaamba kuti: “Ndiyeeya kuti zimwi ziindi milimo imwi ilalendelezya, pele mebo tandiyandi kubeleka mulimo uulendelezya.” Ba Dr. Allen bakalemba kuti: “Mukubusi ooyu tazyi kuti milimo yoonse zimwi ziindi ilalendelezya. Mubuzyo ngwakuti, ino muntu ooyu wakakomenena kuli akukkwanya myaka yakuzyalwa iili 23 pele kataazyi makani aali boobu?”

Cipa kuti penzi litalike. Mazuba aano, bazyali banji balaacilengwa cakukwabilila bana babo kumapenzi aali woonse. Mucikozyanyo, ikuti mwanaabo wafeela musunko, baambila bayi kuti bamuyungizyile mamaakisi. Bamwi bacita kuti, ikuti mwanaabo wapanga mulandu wamumugwagwa, balamubbadelela. Alimwi bamwi bacita kuti, ikuti cisyabo camwanaabo camana, batongooka muntu ngobakasyabenelimwi amwanaabo.

Nokuba kuti cilayandika kubakwabilila bana, kuciindizya kucita boobo kulakonzya kubapa kutalika kuyeeya kuti tabeelede kusubulwa akaambo kakulubizya kwabo. Bbuku liitwa kuti Positive Discipline for Teenagers lyaamba kuti: “Ikuti bana kamubalendekezya tabakonzyi kwiiya, muciindi caboobo balakomena amuuya wakulisumpula akubona kuti bantu boonse beelede kubacitila zyintu zyoonse.”

Ncolyaamba Bbaibbele. Mapenzi alalangilwa mubuumi. Mubwini, Bbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Boonse buyo balasikilwa ziindi zyamapenzi.” (Mukambausi 9:11, NW) Eeci cilabikkilizya abantu bali kabotu. Mucikozyanyo, mwaapostolo Munakristo Paulo wakaliyumya mumapenzi aasiyene-siyene mumulimo wakwe. Nokuba boobo, kuliyumya kwakwe kwakamugwasya kapati! Wakalemba kuti: “Ndakaiya kukkutila anzyondijisi kufwumbwa mubukkale mondibede. . . . Ndaiya icikonzya kundigwasya nondikkutide anondifwide nzala, nondijisi zyintu zinji anondibulide.”—Bafilipi 4:11, 12.

Ncomukonzya kucita. Kweelana akusima kwamwanaanu, mweelede kusola kutobela lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele lwakuti: “Umwi aumwi weelede kunyamuna mukuli wakwe uumugeme.” (Bagalatiya 6:5) Ikuti mwanaanu wapanga mulandu wamumugwagwa, inga cagwasya kumuleka kuti alibbadelele amali aakwe. Kuti mwanaanu wafeela musunko kucikolo, weelede kuzyiba kuti uyandika kubikkila maano kutegwa ciindi ciboola akapase. Kuti cisyabo camwanaanu camana, amumuyumye-yumye, pele amumugwasye kuti alilingule kwiinda mukulibuzya mubuzyo mbuli wakuti, ‘Ino eeci candicitikila cindiyiisya kuti muumbanzu nzi mondeelede kubelekela?’ Bana batalendekezyegwi balaiya kuliiminina beni, calo citakonzyi kucitika kuti naa kabalendekezyegwa.

3 Kuciindizya kubapa zyintu

Penzi. Mubuvwuntauzi bumwi bwakacitwa kubakubusi, kwakajanwa kuti 81 pesenti bakaamba kuti mbaakani yabo iiyandika kapati ‘njakuvwuba’—kutondezya kuti kulimbabo, kuvwuba kulayandika kapati kwiinda kugwasya bamwi. Pele kuyandisya kuvwuba takupi kukkutila. Mubwini, buvwuntauzyi butondezya kuti bantu bayandisya kuvwuba tabakkomene alimwi balityompedwe kapati. Alimwi bali muntenda yakuba aamalwazi akumubili alimwi aamumizeezo.

Cipa kuti penzi litalike. Bana bamwi bakomenena mumikwasyi mobayandisisya zyintu zyakumubili. Ibbuku liitwa kuti The Narcissism Epidemic lyaamba kuti: “Bazyali bayanda kukkomanisya bana babo, bana bayanda zyintu zyakumubili. Kumane bazyali balabaulila zyintu eezyo. Mpoonya bana balakkomana, pele kwakaindi kasyoonto buyo. Eeci cipa kuti bana kabayanda zyintu zinji alimwi.”

Basimakwebo banji balayandisisya lyoonse kubelesya coolwe eeci kutegwa basambale mpasya zyabo. Makwebo aabo akulwaizya mizeezo yakuti ‘Muleelela kuba azyintu zibotu’ alimwi akuti ‘Nkaambo zilamweelela zyintu eezyi.’ Bakubusi banji mazubaano balakwelelezyegwa amizeezo iili boobu alimwi balinjizya muzikwelete zyalo nzyobatali “kulangila.”

Ncolyaamba Bbaibbele. Bbaibbele lilaamba kuti mali alayandika. (Mukambausi 7:12) Alimwi aciindi ncicona, lilacenjezya kuti “kuyandisya mali ngomuyanda wamisyobo yoonse yazyintu zibyaabi.” Alimwi lilayungizya kuti: “Eelyo kwiinda mukuba aluyandisisyo luli boobu bantu bamwi baleya kulusyomo alimwi baliyasaula koonse-koonse amacise manji.” (1 Timoteyo 6:10) Bbaibbele litukulwaizya kuti tatweelede kuyandisya lubono, pele tweelede kukkutila azyintu zisyoonto.—1 Timoteyo 6:7, 8.

Ncomukonzya kucita. Mbomuli muzyali, mweelede kulilingula akubona mbomwaayandisya mali alimwi azyintu nzyomuula. Amube aambaakani yakuula buyo zyintu ziyandika alimwi amubagwasye abalo bana banu. Bbuku lyakuti The Narcissism Epidemic lyaamba kuti: “Bazyali alimwi abana balakonzya kulanga-langa mibuzyo mbuli yakuti ‘Ino ndilili notweelede kuula cintu?’ ‘Ino ndilili notuteelede kucuula?’ ‘Ino cuulwa mali nzi?’ ‘Ino ndilili notwakaula cintu cimwi akaambo buyo kakuti muntu watwaambila kuti tuule?’”

Tamweelede kubelesya zyintu zyakumubili kutegwa zimugwasye kuluba mapenzi aali mumukwasyi alo aayandika kubandikwa. Bbuku liitwa kuti The Price of Privilege lyaamba kuti: “Kubelesya zyintu taili nzila yakumana mapenzi. Mapenzi aelede kubandikwa cabusongo alimwi acalubomba, ikutali kwiile kupa buyo zyintu pe.”

Bbaibbele kunyina nolizumizya kupenzya bana munzila iili yoonse pe. (Baefeso 4:29, 31; 6:4) Makanze aakulaya mwana ngakuyiisya, kutali kupa bazyali nzila yakumana lunyemo lwabo.

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“Mutanooliyeeyi cakulisumpula kwiinda mbokweelede; pele kamuyeeya cakulibatamika.”—Baloma 12:3.

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“Umwi aumwi alingule nzyacita lwakwe mwini, mpoonya ulajana kaambo kamupa kukondwa.”—Bagalatiya 6:4.

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“Aabo bakanzide kuvwuba banjila mukusunkwa akucegwa mukakole alimwi amuzisusi zinji zyabufwubafwuba alimwi ziletela macise.”—1 Timoteyo 6:9.