Kupembuzga Ŵalwari Awo Ŵangacira Yayi
“Nkhati namanya kuti ŵamama ŵacirenge yayi, nkhagomezga yayi. Nkhasuzgika comene maghanoghano, ndipo nkhagomezga cara kuti ŵamama ŵafwenge.”—Grace, wa ku Canada.
PARA wakutemweka walwara comene mwakuti wangacira yayi, ŵa mu mbumba ndiposo mabwezi ŵakwenjerwa comene ndipo ŵakumanya yayi ico ŵangacita. Ŵanji ŵangaŵa na wofi kumuphalira mulwari unenesko wakukhwaskana na ulwari wake. Ŵanji ŵakukayika usange ŵangakwaniska kuzizipizga kuwona wakutemweka wawo wakusuzgika, ndiposo kuleka kucindikika cifukwa ca ulwari. Ŵanandi ŵakumanya yayi ivyo ŵangayowoya para mulwari wakhala pacoko kufwa.
Ni vinthu wuli ivyo mukwenera kumanya vyakukhwaskana na umo panji muzamucitira para vyaŵa nthena? Ni mwawuli umo mungaŵira “mwanase” na kupeleka cipembuzgo ndiposo wovwiri pa nyengo yakusuzga iyi?—Zintharika 17:17.
Umo Ŵanthu Ŵakucitira
Nchakawiro kukweŵeka para munthu uyo mukumutemwa walwara comene. Nanga mbadokotara, awo nyengo zinandi ŵakuwona ŵanthu ŵakufwa, nawo ŵakukweŵeka na kusoŵa cakucita para mulwari uyo wangacira yayi wakutambura.
Namwe mungasuzgika maghanoghano para mukuwona wakutemweka winu wakutambura. Hosa, uyo wakukhala ku Brazil, mweneuyo munung’una wake wakalwaranga nthena yambura kucizgika, wakati: “Nchakusuzga comene kuwona munthu uyo ukumutemwa wakutambura na vyakuŵinya.” Wakati wawona kuti mudumbu wake wakoleka na vyoni, Mozesi, mwanalume wakugomezgeka wakalira kuti: “Mucizgeni sono Ciuta, nkhumuŵeyani!”—Maŵazgo 12: 12, 13.
Tikukweŵeka comene para wakutemweka withu walwara cifukwa tili kulengeka mu cikozgo ca Ciuta withu walusungu, Yehova. (Genesis 1:27; Yesaya 63:9) Kasi Yehova wakujipulika wuli para ŵanthu ŵakusuzgika? Wonani umo Yesu wakacitira. Wakalongora makora wunthu wa Ŵawiske. (Yohane 14:9) Apo Yesu wakawona ŵanthu ŵakusuzgika na ulwari, wakaŵalengera “lusungu.” (Mateyu 20:29-34; Marko 1:40, 41) Nga umo yalongosolera nkhani yinyake mu magazini iyi, apo mubwezi wake Lazaro wakafwa, ndipo Yesu wakati wawona umo nyifwa yikakhwaskira ŵa mu mbumba na ŵabwezi, wakasuzgika comene mu mtima ndipo “wakalira.” (Yohane 11:32-35) Baibolo likulongosora kuti nyifwa ni mulwani ndipo likulayizga kuti sonosono apa ulwari na nyifwa vimalenge.—1 Ŵakorinte 15:26; Civumbuzi 21:3, 4.
Nchakupulikikwa kuti nyengo zinyake mungamba kupa mulandu ŵanji cifukwa ca ulwari wa wakutemweka winu. Ndipouli, Dr. Marta Ortiz, uyo wali kulemba nkhani zakukhwaskana na kupwelelera mulwari uyo wangacira yayi, wakapeleka ulongozgi uwu: “Lekani kupa mulandu ŵanji, ŵa ku cipatala, panji kujipa mulandu mwaŵene cifukwa ca umo mulwari waliri. Ivi vingacitiska waka kuti muŵe ŵakwenjerwa comene ndipo vingamutimbanizgani kupwelelera mulwari.” Kasi mungacita vici kuti movwire wakutemweka winu kukhomezga ulwari na kumukhwimiska pakuti wakumanya kuti wafwenge?
Ghanaghanirani za Munthu, Ulwari Yayi
Cakwamba, mukwenera kughanaghanira comene za munthu m’malo mwa kughanaghanira waka umo wakomwera cifukwa ca ulwari. Kasi mungacita wuli? Sarah, uyo ni nesi, wakati: “Nkhusanga nyengo yakuwonera vithuzithuzi vya mulwari ivyo wakajambuliska apo wakaŵa makora. Nkhutegherezga comene para wakuniphalira vinthu ivyo wakacitanga kale. Ici cikunovwira kukumbuka umoyo wake wakumanyuma m’malo mwa kwenjerwa waka na umo waliri pasono.”
Anne-Catherine, uyo nayo ni nesi, wakalongosora umo wakuwonera munthu m’malo mwa kughanaghanira waka umo mulwari wakomwera. Wakati: “Nkhumughanaghanira comene munthu, ndipo nkhuyezgayezga kucita ivyo ningafiska kuti mulwari waŵeko makora.” Buku linyake likuti: “Kanandi ŵanthu ŵakuŵa ŵakwenjerwa para ŵawona wakutemweka wawo wakusuzgika na matenda panji ngozi. Cinthu cakwenera kucita pa nyengo iyi nkhughanaghanira comene munthu nangauli wakomwa comene.”
Kuyowoya unenesko, munthu wakwenera kujikora na kuŵikapo mtima comene kuti wacite ntheura. Georges, mulaŵiliri Wacikhristu uyo nyengo zose wakwendera ŵalwari awo ŵangacira yayi, wakati: “Tikwenera kutemwa comene munyithu nangauli ni mulwari.” Usange mukughanaghanira comene munthu m’malo mwa ulwari wake, imwe pamoza na mulwari mukusanga candulo. Yvonne, uyo wakapwelelerapo ŵana awo ŵakalwaranga kansa, wakati: “Kumanya kuti ungawovwira ŵalwari kuti ŵalutilire kuŵa ŵakucindikika, kukovwira kuwona umo ungacitira nawo apo ŵakutambura.”
Muŵe Ŵakunozgeka Kutegherezga
Ŵanthu ŵakukhumba yayi kuwonana na yunji uyo wakhala pacoko kufwa, nangauli ŵakumutemwa. Cifukwa wuli? Ŵakwenjerwa kuti ŵayowoyenge nayo vici. Ndipouli, Anne-Catherine, uyo mwasonosono wakapwelelerapo mubwezi wake uyo wakalwaranga nthenda yambura kucizgika, wakayowoya kuti kukhala cete nako kuli na uwemi wake. Wakati: “Munthu wakupembuzgika na mazgu pera yayi, kweniso kacitiro kithu. Kutora mpando na kukhala nayo pafupi, kumukora pa woko, kweniso kuthiska masozi para wakuyowoya umo wakujipulikira, vyose ivi vikulongora kuti tikumughanaghanira.”
Wakutemweka winu wangakhumba kulongosora umo wakujipulikira, kweniso kuti namwe muyowoyenge nayo mwakufwatuka. Nangauli vili nthena, kanandi mulwari wakumanya kuti ŵakutemweka ŵake ŵakwenjerwa ndipo ŵakukakika kuyowoya nkhani zakukhwaska iyo. Ŵabwezi ŵa mulwari ndiposo ŵa mu mbumba ŵangaŵa nga ŵakovwira kweni ŵangacitiska masuzgo cifukwa ca kubisa nkhani zakukhwaskana na mulwari uyo kusazgapo nkhani zakukhwaskana na umoyo wake. Kasi nchivici cingacitika cifukwa ca kucita nthena? Dokotara munyake uyo wakovwira ŵalwari awo ŵangacira yayi, wakalongosora kuti kuleka kuyowoya unenesko “kukutimbanizga cinthu cakuzirwa comene, ceneico nkhulongosolera ŵanthu za ulwari na kuwona umo wangacitira nawo.” Mwantheura, usange mulwari wakukhumba, wakwenera kuzomerezgeka kuyowoya mwakufwatuka za ulwari wake na wofi uwo wali nawo cifukwa cakuti wali pafupi kufwa.
Apo ŵateŵeti ŵanji ŵa Ciuta ŵa mu nyengo yakale ŵakaŵa pafupi kufwa, ŵakaziwulika yayi kumuphalira Yehova Ciuta za wofi wawo. Mwaciyelezgero, apo Themba Hezekiya likaŵa na vilimika 39, likati lamanya kuti lifwenge likayowoya wofi wake. (Yesaya 38:9-12, 18-20) Mwakuyana waka, ŵalwari awo ŵangacira yayi ŵakwenera kupika mwaŵi wakuti ŵayowoye citima ico ŵali naco cifukwa cakuti umoyo wawo udumulizgikenge. Mutepanji ŵakhuŵazgika cifukwa cakuti ivyo ŵakakhumbanga vifiskikenge yayi. Panji ŵakakhumbanga kuluta ku malo ghanyake, kubaba ŵana, kuwona ŵazukuru ŵakukura, panji ŵakuteŵetera Ciuta mwakukwana. Kweniso ŵangaŵa na wofi wakuti ŵabwezi na ŵa mu mbumba ŵaŵagegenge cifukwa cakuti ŵakumanya yayi umo ŵangacitira nawo. (Job 19:16-18) Vinthu nga nkhopa kusuzgika, kumara kwa nkhongono, panji kopa kufwira paŵekha vingaŵacitiska kuti ŵaŵe ŵakwenjerwa.
Anne-Catherine wakati: “Nchiwemi kumupa mwaŵi munyinu kuti wayowoye maghanoghano ghake kwambura kumudumulizga panji kumweruzga panji kumuphalira kuti wali na wofi wambura kwenelera. Ndiyo nthowa yiwemi comene yakumanyira umo wakujipulikira, ivyo wakukhumba, ivyo wakopa, ndiposo ivyo wakulindilira.”
Manyani Vinthu Vyakukhumbikwa
Suzgo la mulwari lingamutimbanizgani maghanoghano na kuluwa cinthu cakukhumbikwa comene cakuti mulwari wasankhenge yekha ivyo wakukhumba. Ico cingasazgirako suzgo ili ni nthowa zakucizgira ndiposo ivyo vingacitika pamasinda pake.
Mu vigaŵa vinyake, ŵa mu mbumba ŵakuyezgayezga kuvikilira mulwari, mwa kuleka kumuphalira unenesko wakukhwaskana na ulwari wake, ndipo ŵakumupa mwaŵi yayi wakuti wasankhe munkhwara uwo wakukhumba. Mu vigaŵa vinyake, mungaŵa suzgo lakupambana na ili. Mwaciyelezgero, Jerry, mwanalume uyo ni nesi, wakati: “Ŵalendo kanandi ŵakuŵa na cizgoŵi ca kuyowoya za mulwari uku ŵimilira pafupi na bedi lake, kweni ŵakuyowoya nga ni para mweneko palije.” Vyakucita vyose viŵiri ivi, vikupeleka nchindi yayi ku mulwari.
Cigomezgo nchimoza ca vinthu vyakukhumbikwa comene. Mu vyaru ivyo munkhwara uwemi ukusangika, kanandi pakuŵa cigomezgo cakuti mulwari wovwirikenge. Michelle, uyo katatu wakawovwirapo ŵanyina apo ŵakasuzgikanga na kansa, wakati: “Usange ŵamama ŵakukhumba kuyezga munkhwara unyake panji kukumana na dokotara munyake, nkhuŵawovwira. Mu mtima nkhumanya kuti nyengo zinyake ŵangacira yayi, ndipouli nkhuŵakhozga.”
Wuli usange palije cigomezgo ca kusanga wovwiri? Kumbukani kuti mulwari uyo wangacira yayi wakukhumbikwira kudumbiskana nayo mwakufwatuka nkhani ya nyifwa. Georges, mulaŵiliri Wacikhristu uyo tamuzunura kukwamba kwa nkhani iyi, wakati: “Nchakuzirwa comene kuleka kumubisa mulwari kuti wali pafupi kufwa. Ici cingamovwira kuti wacite vinthu mwakwenelera na kunozgekera nyifwa yake.” Kunozgekera uku kungawovwira mulwari kujipulika kuti wafiska ivyo wakakhumbanga ndiposo kuti wakuŵavuska yayi ŵanyake.
Mbunenesko kuti nchipusu yayi kudumbiskana nkhani zantheura. Kweni kudumbiskana na mulwari mwakufwatuka kukupeleka mwaŵi wapadera wakuti muyowoye umo mukujipulikira. Munthu uyo wali pafupi kufwa wangakhumba kuti waphemane namwe pa ivyo mukapambana kumasinda, wayowoye kubuda kwake, panji wapemphe cigowokero. Ivi vingakuzga ubwezi winu na munthu uyo wali pafupi kufwa.
Kuŵapembuzga mu Mazuŵa Ghakuti Ŵali Pafupi Kufwa
Kasi mungamupembuzga wuli munthu uyo wali pafupi kufwa? Dr. Ortiz, uyo tamuzunura kukwambilira kwa nkhani iyi, wakati: “Muzomerezgani mulwari kuti wayowoyerethu ivyo wakukhumba. Mutegherezgani comene. Usange nchamacitiko, yezgani kucita ivyo wakukhumba. Usange mungafiska yayi kucita ivyo mulwari wakukhumba, muphalirani unenesko.”
Usange mulwari wali pafupi kufwa wangakhumba kuŵa pafupi na ŵanthu awo mbakuzirwa comene kwa iyo. Georges wakati: “Movwirani mulwari kuti wawonane nawo ŵanthu aŵa, nangauli panji ŵangayowoyeskana pacoko waka cifukwa ca ulwari.” Nanga pangaŵa pa telefoni, kuyowoyeskana uku kukupeleka mwaŵi wa kukhozgana ndiposo kulombera pamoza. Christina, mwanakazi wa ku Canada uyo ŵakutemweka ŵake ŵatatu ŵakafwa mwakulondezgana, wakati: “Apo ŵakaŵa pafupi kufwa, ŵakathembanga comene malurombo gha Ŵakhristu ŵanyawo.”
Kasi mukwenera kopa kulira pamaso pa wakutemweka winu uyo wali pafupi kufwa? Cara. Para mukulira ndikuti mukumupa mwaŵi munyinu uyo wali pafupi kufwa kuti wamupembuzgani. Buku linyake ilo talizunura mu nkhani iyi likuti: “Nchinthu cakukhozga comene kupembuzgika na munyinu uyo wali pafupi kufwa, ndipo ici cingaŵa cakuzirwa comene kwa mulwari.” Para wakupembuzga ŵanyake, uyo tikumupwelelera wakujipulika kuŵa mubwezi, dada, panji mama uyo wakupwelelera ŵanyake.
Nyengo zinyake, pangaŵa vinthu vinyake ivyo vingamutondeskani kuŵa pafupi na wakutemweka winu nyengo yakufwira. Kweni usange mungafiska kuŵa pafupi na mubwezi winu uyo wali pafupi kufwa kwali nkhu cipatala panji ku nyumba, yezgani kumukora pa woko mpaka apo wafwirenge. Nyengo yaumaliro iyi yikumupani mwaŵi uwo mukaŵavya, wakuti muyowoye umo mukujipulikira. Nyengo yakuti munyinu wakufwa, nangauli wakuyowoya kalikose yayi, mungatondekanga cara kuyowoya mazgu ghakulayirana nayo na kumuphalira cigomezgo cinu cakuti muzamuwonanaso pa nyengo ya ciwuka.—Job 14:14, 15; Milimo 24:15.
Muzamudandaura yayi usange nyengo yakuti munyinu wali pafupi kufwa mukuyigwiliskira nchito makora. Nakuti nyengo yakusuzga iyi, kunthazi yingazakamupembuzgani. Muzamukumbuka kuti mukaŵa bwezi ‘lakovwira mu suzgo.’—Zintharika 17:17.
[Mazgu Ghakukhozgera pa peji 25]
Para mukughanaghanira comene munthu m’malo mwa ulwari wake, imwe pamoza na mulwari mukusanga candulo
[Bokosi/Cithuzithuzi pa peji 26]
Nthowa Yakucindikira Mulwari
Mu vyaru vinandi, ŵakuyezgayezga kucindika ivyo munthu uyo walwara comene wasankha mpaka apo wafwirenge. Para mulwari walemberathu ivyo wakukhumba, vikovwira comene kuti ŵanthu ŵalondezge ivyo mweneco wasankha, kwali wafwirenge ku nyumba panji ku cipatala.
Kulemberathu ivyo mulwari wakukhumba kukovwira mu nthowa izi:
• Pakuŵa kukolerana pakati pa ŵadokotala na ŵabali ŵa mulwari
• Kukovwira kuti mulwari ndiyo wasankhe wovwiri uwo wakukhumba m’malo mwa ŵa mu mbumba yake
• Kukovwira kucepeskako masuzgo agho ghangiza cifukwa ca wovwiri wambura kwenelera, ndiposo wakukwera mtengo
Kuti ivyo mulwari walemba vigwire nchito vikwenera kuŵa na vinthu ivi:
• Zina la mwimiliri pa umoyo wake
• Wovwiri uwo wangapokera na uwo wangakana
• Usange nchamacitiko paŵe zina la dokotara uyo wakumanya ivyo wali kusankha
[Cithuzithuzi pa peji 24]
Kumbukani umoyo wake wakumanyuma m’malo mwa kwenjerwa waka na umo mulwari waliri pasono