Bebe wakatemwananga chomene na awiske. Mubali wake ndiyo wakamuphalira mazgu agha, kweni Bebe wakati ghakamupembuzga yayi. Kanandi wakayowoyanga yekha kuti, ‘nyifwa ya adada yikaŵa yiwemi yayi.’ Ivyo Bebe wakalongosora mu buku lake vya nyifwa ya adada ŵake pakati pajumpha vyaka, vikulongora kuti wakaŵa wachali na chitima.

Bebe wakawona kuti pakutora nyengo yitali kuti chitima chimare, chomenechomene usange uyo wali kufwa mukatemwananga chomene. Baibolo likuti nyifwa ni “mulwani waumaliro.” (1 Ŵakorinte 15:26) Yikwiza na nkhongono, kanandi yikutisanga ŵambura kunozgeka ndipo yikutipoka ŵanthu awo tikuŵatemwa. Palije uyo nyifwa yikuleka kumuŵinya. Lekani mahara ghakutimalira para nyifwa yatiwira.

Panyake mungafumba kuti: ‘Kasi pakutora nyengo yitali wuli kuti munthu chitima chimare? Kasi munthu wangachita wuli nyengo ya chitima? Kasi ningapembuzga wuli ŵanyane awo mubali wawo wafwa? Kasi chilipo chigomezgo chakuti awo ŵafwa tizamuŵawonaso?’

Kasi muli kulwarapo nthenda yikuru? Nyengo zinyake mukachira luŵiro mwakuti muli kuluwa umo vikaŵinyiranga. Kweni ndimo viliri yayi na chitima. Dr. Alan Wolfelt wakalemba mu buku lake kuti ‘chitima chikumara luŵiro yayi.’ Kweni wakayowoyaso kuti: “Para pajumpha nyengo ndiposo na wovwiri wa ŵanyako, chitima chingachepako.”—Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart.

Wonani umo Abrahamu, uyo wakuzunulika mu Baibolo, wakachitira muwoli wake wakati wafwa. Baibolo likuti: “Abrahamu wakamba kumulira Sara na kumutengelera.” Mazgu ghakuti “wakamba” ghakulongora kuti pakatora nyengo kuti Abrahamu chitima chichepeko chifukwa cha nyifwa ya muwoli wake.a Wonaniso vya Yakhobe. Ŵana ŵake ŵakamupusika kuti Yosefe wakomeka na chinyama chamuthondo. Yakhobe wakalira “mazuŵa ghanandi,” ndipo ŵabali ŵake ŵakatondeka kumupembuzga. Pakati pajumpha vyaka vinandi, Yakhobe wakaŵa wachali kudandawura na nyifwa ya Yosefe.—Genizesi 23:2; 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.

Lero napo, ŵanthu ŵanandi chitima chikumara luŵiro yayi para munthu uyo ŵakatemwananga wafwa. Pulikani ivyo ŵanthu aŵa ŵakayowoya.

• Gail wa vyaka 60, wakuti: “Afumu ŵane, a Robert, ŵakafwa pa Julayi 9, 2008. Vyose vikaŵa makora waka pa zuŵa ilo ŵakafwira pa ngozi. Mwa nyengo zose, tikati tarya chakurya cha mulenji pambere ŵandalute ku ntchito, tikalayirana. Mbwenu umaliro ukaŵa wenewuwo. Nangauli pajumpha vyaka 6, vichali kuniŵinya mu mtima. Nkhumanya yayi usange chitima chizamumara chifukwa cha nyifwa ya Rob.”

• Etienne wa vyaka 84, wakuti: “Nakhala nekha kwambura muwoli wane vyaka vyakujumpha 18 sono, kweni nichali kumulira. Para nawona waka chithu chinyake chakutowa, mbwenu nkhumukumbuka. Nkhughanaghanira umo mphanyi nayo wakukondwera pakuwona ivyo ine nkhuwona.”

Ivi vikulongora kuti ndimo taŵanthu tikujipulikira. Kweni taŵanthu tikupambana pa nkhani ya chitima. Ntheura chingaŵa chiwemi yayi kususka ŵanyithu umo ŵakuchitira para suzgo laŵawira. Kweniso tikwenera kujisuska yayi usange vikuwoneka nga tajumphizga kuŵa na chitima. Kasi tingachita wuli para tili na chitima?

Ŵanthu ŵakuyowoya vinandi chomene pa nkhani ya umo munthu wangachitira na chitima. Kweni ni vyose yayi ivyo vikovwira. Mungasanga kuti ŵanyake ŵakumuphalirani kuti muleke kulira panji kulongora kuti muli na chitima. Ŵanyake ŵangamuphalirani kuti mulirenge na kuchita chitima umo mwakhumbira. Baibolo likuyowoya fundo ziwemi zakovwira, izo zikukolerana na ivyo ŵadokotala ŵasanga.

Mu vigaŵa vinyake, ŵanthu ŵakugomezga kuti mwanalume wakulira yayi. Kweni kasi chilipo chifukwa icho munthu wangachitira soni kulira, nanga pangaŵa pa wumba? Ŵadokotala ŵakuyowoya kuti ntchiwemi waka kulira para munthu wali na chitima. Kulira kungawovwira kuti chitima chichepeko. Kweni para munthu wakujalira chitima mukati, wakupwetekeka chomene. Baibolo likukolerana nayo yayi fundo yakuti kulira nkhwananga panji yakuti mwanalume wakulira yayi. Wonani umo Yesu wakachitira. Yesu wakalira pa nyifwa ya mubwezi wake Lazaro, nangauli wakaŵa na nkhongono zakuwuskira ŵakufwa.—Yohane 11:33-35.

Chifukwa cha chitima, ŵanthu ŵanyake ŵakukalipa, chomene para munthu wafwa mwamabuchi, panji mwambura kumanyikwa makora. Pali vifukwa vinandi ivyo munthu uyo wathikirwa wangakalipira. Nyengo zinyake wangakalipa chifukwa chakuti munthu wakuchindikika wayowoya mazgu ghambura kwenelera. Mwanalume munyake wa ku South Africa zina lake Mike, wakuti: “Apo adada ŵakafwanga, nkhaŵa na vyaka 14. Pa nyifwa, muliska wa Anglican wakayowoya kuti Chiuta wakukhumba ŵanthu ŵawemi ndipo wakuŵatora mwaluŵiro.a Ichi chikanikwiyiska chomene, chifukwa ise tikakhumbanga adada. Sono pajumpha vyaka 63, kweni vichali kuniŵinya.”

Wuli usange munthu wakujipa mulandu? Para munthu wafwa mwamabuchi, mubali wake wangamba kughanaghana kuti: ‘Nilekenge kuchita chakuti na chakuti, panyake mphanyi munthu uyu wandafwe.’ Panyake vingachitika kuti ŵangwambana na munyake yura pambere wandafwe. Para vyaŵa nthena, wakujipa mulandu.

Usange namwe mukujipa mulandu panji mwakwiya, ntchiwemi yayi kukhalapo waka chete. Kweni phalirani munyinu uyo wangamupulikizgani na kumusimikizgirani kuti ŵanthu ŵanandi awo mubali wawo wafwa nawo ndimo ŵakujipulikira. Baibolo likutikumbuska kuti: “Mubwezi wanadi wakutemwa nyengo zose, ndipo ni mubali uyo wali kubabikira kovwira mu suzgo.”—Zintharika 17:17.

Mubwezi muwemi chomene uyo mungamuphalirako ni Yehova Chiuta, Mlengi withu. Muphalirani ivyo vili mu mtima winu chifukwa “wakumupwelelerani.” (1 Petrosi 5:7) Nakuti iyo wakutiphalira kuti wose awo ŵakumupempha ŵasangenge “mtende wa Chiuta uwo ukuluska maghanoghano ghose.” (Ŵafilipi 4:6, 7) Kweniso Chiuta wangamovwirani kwizira mu Mazgu ghake Baibolo, agho ngakupembuzga. Lembani mavesi agho ghangamupembuzgani. (Wonani bokosi.) Mungachitaso makora kusungilira pamtima mavesi agha. Fundo izi zingamovwirani usange mukughanaghanirapo, chomenechomene usiku para muli mwekha ndipo mukutondeka kugona.—Yesaya 57:15.

Mwanalume munyake wa vyaka 40, uyo timuchemenge Jack, muwoli wake wali kufwa sonosono apa chifukwa cha kansa. Jack wakuti nyengo zinyake wakuchita phukwa chomene. Kweni wakuti lurombo ndilo lukumovwira. Iyo wakuti: “Para nkhulomba kwa Yehova, nkhuwona kuti nili nekha yayi. Kanandi nkhuwuka usiku ndipo nkhutondeka kugonaso. Nkhuŵazga na kughanaghanira pa fundo zakupembuzga za mu Malemba, kufuma apo, nkhumuphalira Yehova mu lurombo. Ntheura, mtima wane ukukhazikika, nkhuŵa na mtende mbwenu ndipo nkhugona.”

Mwanakazi munyake, zina lake Vanessa, anyina ŵakalwara na kufwa. Nayo wakawona kuti lurombo ndwakovwira. Iyo wakuti: “Para vyasuzga chomene, nkhachemanga waka zina la Chiuta na kwamba kulira. Yehova wakapulikanga malurombo ghane ndipo wakanipanga nkhongono.”

Magulu agho ghakovwira ŵanthu awo ŵakusuzgika na chitima ghakuŵaphalira kuti ŵawovwirenge ŵanthu panji ŵajipelekenge pa ntchito zinyake za mu chikaya. Para munthu wakuchita nthena wakukondwa, ndipo chitima chake chikuchepako. (Milimo 20:35) Ŵakhristu ŵanandi awo ŵali na chitima cha nyifwa ya ŵabali ŵawo ŵakuwona kuti ŵakupembuzgika chomene para ŵakovwira ŵanthu.—2 Ŵakorinte 1:3, 4.

Nyengo zinyake para munyithu wakulira chifukwa chakuti mubali wake wafwa, ise mahara ghangatimalira. Tingasoŵa chakuyowoya panji chakuchita. Ntheura tingakhala waka chete. Kweni vilipo ivyo tingachita ivyo vingawovwira.

Kanandi icho chikukhumbika ntchakuti ise tiŵe pafupi na kuyowoya waka umo nase vyatikhwaskira. Mu vigaŵa vinandi, munthu uyo mubali wake wafwa wakujipulikako makora para munyake wamuvumbatira panji wamukora kawoko fyee! Para uyo mubali wake wafwa wakukhumba kuyowoya, mupulikizgani mwakufwasa. Pa vyose, wovwirani ŵa panyumba awo mubali wawo wafwa. Mungaŵavwirako ntchito za pa nyumba, nga nkhuŵaphikira chakurya, kupwelelera ŵana, panji kovwirapo vinyake ivyo vikukhumbikwa pa nyifwa. Ivyo mungachita ndivyo vikovwira chomene kuluska mazgu agho mungayowoya.

Para pajumpha nyengo, mungayowoyapo vya uyo wali kufwa, chomenechomene viwemi ivyo wakachitanga panji mukachitiranga lumoza. Vyanthena ivi vingawovwira uyo mubali wake wali kufwa kujipulikako makora. Ian, mfumu wa Pam, wali kufwa vyaka 6 ivyo vyajumpha. Pam wakuti: “Nyengo zinyake ŵanthu ŵakuniphalira viwemi ivyo Ian wakachitanga, ivyo ine nkhavimanyanga yayi. Para napulika ivi, nkhujipulika makora mu mtima.”

Ukaboni ukulongora kuti ŵanthu ŵakumovwira chomene munthu para mubali wake wafwa waka. Kweni para pajumpha kanyengo, wakukhala yekha joo chifukwa ŵanthu wose ŵakutangwanika na milimo yawo. Ntheura mungachita makora kuti nyengo na nyengo mulutenge kukamuwona mubwezi winu uyo mubali wake wali kufwa.a Ŵanandi ŵakuwonga chomene para ŵanyawo ŵakuŵawona nyengo na nyengo chifukwa vikuŵawovwira kuti chitima chichepeko.

Wonani ivyo vikachitikira mwanakazi munyake wa ku Japan zina lake Kaori. Mwanakazi uyu anyina ŵakafwa, ndipo pakati pajumpha myezi 15 mukuru wake nayo wakafwa. Uwemi ngwakuti iyo wakaŵa na ŵabwezi awo ŵakamovwiranga nyengo zose. Mama munyake zina lake Ritsuko wakajipeleka kuti waŵe mubwezi wake wapamtima, nangauli ni mulara chomene kwa Kaori. Kaori wakuti: “Kuyowoya unenesko, nkhakondwa yayi na fundo iyi. Nkhakhumba yayi kuti munthu munyake wanjire mu malo gha amama, ndipo nkhawonanga kuti palije uyo wangachita nthena. Kweni pakuwona umo Mama Ritsuko wakachitiranga nane, tikamba kutemwana chomene. Sabata yiliyose tikalutanga lumoza kukapharazga na ku maungano gha mpingo. Ŵakanichemanga kuti tikamwere lumoza tiyi, ŵakaninyamuliranga chakurya, na kunilembera makalata na makadi kanandi waka. Ivyo Mama Ritsuko wakanichitira vikanovwira kuti nijipulikeko makora.”

Pajumpha vyaka 12 kufuma apo anyina Kaori ŵakafwira, ndipo lero iyo na mfumu wake ŵakupharazga vya Ufumu nyengo zose. Kaori wakuti: “Mama Ritsuko wachali kunighanaghanira. Nyengo zose para naluta kukaya, nkhukamuwona kweniso nkhukondwa kuchezga nayo.”

Munthu munyake uyo wawovwirika chifukwa chakuti ŵanyake ŵakumuwona nyengo zose ni Poli, uyo ni Kaboni wa Yehova wa ku Cyprus. Poli wakaŵa na mwanalume walusungu, zina lake Sozos. Sozos wakaŵa muliska muwemi ndipo wakachemanga ŵalanda na vyokoro ku nyumba yawo kukachezga na kurya chakurya. (Yakobe 1:27) Chachitima ntchakuti Sozos wakafwa na chakutupa mu wongo apo wakaŵa na vyaka 53. Poli wakuti: “Nkhataya mfumu wane wakugomezgeka uyo tikakhalira lumoza mu nthengwa vyaka 33.”

Ŵakati ŵasunga nyifwa, Poli wakasamira ku Canada pamoza na mwana wake muchoko chomene Daniel wa vyaka 15. Ŵakati ŵafika kura, ŵakamba kuwungana na mpingo wa Ŵakaboni ŵa Yehova. Poli wakuti: “Ŵabali mu mpingo wasono uwu ŵakamanyanga yayi umo vinthu vikaŵira uko tafuma kweniso masuzgo ghithu. Kweni ŵakalekapo yayi kutichezgera na kutiphalira mazgu ghawemi kweniso kutovwira mu nthowa zinyake. Wovwiri wawo ukaŵa wakuzirwa chomene, chifukwa mwana wane wakakhumbikwiranga chomene awiske pa nyengo yira. Ŵabali awo ŵakulongozga mu mpingo ŵakamutemwanga chomene Daniel. Pakaŵa mubali yumoza uyo wakatemwanga kumutora Daniel para wakuluta kukachezga na ŵanyake panji para ŵakuluta kukatchaya bola.” Sono Poli na mwana wake ŵakuchita makora.

Pali nthowa zinandi chomene izo tingawovwilira na kupembuzga awo ŵakulira. Baibolo nalo likutipembuzga na chigomezgo chiwemi cha munthazi.

Mungakumbuka kuti Gail, uyo wazunulika kukwambilira kwa nkhani izi, wakakayikiranga usange wazamuluwa nyifwa ya mfumu wake Rob. Kweni wakulindilira kuzakamuwonaso mu charu chiphya icho Chiuta wali kulayizga. Iyo wakuti: “Vesi ilo nkhulitemwa chomene nda Chivumbuzi 21:3, 4.” Lemba ili likuti: “Chiuta wazamuŵa nawo pamoza. Wazamufyura masozi ghose ku maso ghawo, ndipo nyifwa yizamuŵakoso yayi. Kuzamuŵavya kutengera panji kulira, kutampha nesi vyakuŵinya. Vinthu vyakale vyafumapo.”

Gail wakuti: “Layizgo ili likulongolerathu kuti vinthu vyose vizamuŵa makora. Chitima chikunikora waka na ŵanthu awo ŵabali ŵawo ŵali kufwa kweni ŵakumanya yayi kuti pali chigomezgo chakuti ŵangazakaŵawonaso ŵabali ŵawo.” Ntheura Gail wakujipeleka kupharazgira ŵanthu na kuŵaphalira kuti Chiuta walayizga kuti “nyifwa yizamuŵakoso yayi.”

Nyengo zinyake mungayowoya kuti, ‘Ivi vingachitika yayi.’ Kweni wonani ivyo vikachitikira Yobu. Iyo wakalwara chomene. (Yobu 2:7) Nangauli Yobu wakakhumbanga kuti wafwe, kweni wakamanyanga kuti Chiuta wali na nkhongono kuzakamuwuska na kuŵaso wamoyo pa charu. Iyo wakati: “Okwe, mphanyi mwanibisa mu Dindi . . . Muchemenge, ndipo ine nimuzgoraninge. Munwekerenge mulimo wa mawoko ghinu.” (Yobu 14:13, 15) Yobu wakagomezganga kuti Chiuta wazamunweka kumuwuska kuti waŵeso wamoyo.

Sonosono apa, Chiuta wazamuwuska Yobu na ŵanthu ŵanyake ŵanandi, para charu ichi chazakazgoka paradiso. (Luka 23:42, 43) Baibolo likuti: “Kuzamuŵa chiwuka.” (Milimo 24:15) Yesu nayo wakayowoya kuti: “Kuzizwa chara na ichi, chifukwa ora likwiza ilo wose awo ŵali mu madindi ŵazamupulika mazgu ghake na kufumira kuwaro.” (Yohane 5:28, 29) Yobu wazamuwona kuti layizgo ili likufiskika. Wazamuweleraso ku “uwukirano wake apo wakaŵa wankhongono” ndipo thupi lake lizamuŵa “lakunyilirika kuluska la uwukirano wake.” (Yobu 33:24, 25) Ndimo vizamuŵira na wose awo ŵakupulikira na kuwonga Chiuta chifukwa cha layizgo la chiwuka pa charu chapasi.

Usange munthu uyo mukatemwananga chomene wali kufwa, fundo izo tadumbiskana zingamazgirathu yayi chitima icho muli nacho. Kweni para mukughanaghanira ivyo Chiuta wali kulayizga mu Baibolo, muŵenge na chigomezgo kweniso nkhongono zakuzizipizgira.—1 Ŵatesalonika 4:13.

Kasi mungatemwa kumanya vinandi umo mungachitira para muli na chitima? Panji kasi muli na mafumbo ghanyake, nga ndakuti “Chifukwa wuli Chiuta wakulekelera vinthu viheni na kusuzgika?” Lutani pa webusayiti ya jw.org, kuti muwone ivyo Baibolo likuzgora, ivyo vingamupembuzgani na kumovwirani.