Wetin You Go Do If Your Husband or Wife De Watch Picture or Film of Naked People?
“E make me feel like say my husband de sleep with different-different women.”
“E make me feel like say I dey useless, I no fine, and e really pain me.”
“I no fit talk to anybody about-am. I just de carry the load by myself.”
“E make me feel like say Jehovah no de care about me.”
Wetin this women talk show how wife de feel when their husband de watch picture or film of naked people. If the husband don de hide do this thing for long time, e fit make im wife no fit trust-am again. One wife talk say “I feel like say I no know my husband at all. Another thing still dey wey e de hide from me?”
We write this article for wife wey im husband de watch picture or film of naked people.a E go talk about advice from Bible wey fit make im mind come down, and help-am know say Jehovah go support-am, help-am make e get peace of mind and continue to worship-am well.b
WETIN YOU GO DO IF YOUR HUSBAND DE WATCH PICTURE OR FILM OF NAKED PEOPLE?
Na true say you no go fit control wetin your husband de do, but e get some things wey you go fit do wey go make you fit get peace of mind and reduce the pain wey you de feel. Make we talk about some of them.
No blame yourself. When your husband de watch picture or film of naked people, you fit start to feel say na you cause-am. Alicec feel say e no fine reach for im husband eye. E ask imself say, ‘Why my husband like to look other women instead of me?’ Some wife de blame theirself because them feel say the way them react de make the matter bad more-more. For example, Danielle talk say: “As my husband continue to de watch-am, e make me vex well-well and I start to feel say na me de scatter our marriage.”
If you de feel like this, know say Jehovah no go blame you for wetin your husband do. James 1:14 talk say: “Each person de face test when the thing wey e want, don de tempt-am and de hungry-am.” (Rom. 14:12; Phil. 2:12) Instead make Jehovah blame you, e value the way you hold-am tight.—2 Chron. 16:9.
E go good make you know say if your husband de watch picture or film of naked people, e no mean say you no fine reach or say you get problem. People wey don study this matter talk say when man de watch picture or film of naked people, no matter the kind woman wey e marry, the pictures and films go still de hungry-am.
No let-am over worry you. Catherine talk say the only thing wey de come im mind be say im husband de watch picture and film of naked people. Frances talk say: “Na so-so worry I de worry anytime wey I no know where my husband dey. I de always over worry myself everyday.” Other sisters don talk how e de make them shame when them dey with brothers and sisters wey know about their husband problem. Other women feel say nobody understand wetin them de face, so this one de make them feel say them dey alone.
Na normal thing to feel the way you de feel. But if you de always think about-am e go make you de worry more-more. Instead, always put mind for your friendship with Jehovah. This one go make you strong again.—Ps. 62:2; Eph. 6:10.
You go fit gain when you read and think deep about some women for Bible wey get serious problem wey worry them. You go fit learn from how them get peace of mind when them pray to Jehovah. E no always remove their problem, but e de always give them peace of mind. For example, wetin Hannah face really pain-am “reach bone.” But after e pray to Jehovah well-well, e no worry again about im problem even though say e no know how Jehovah go take answer im prayer.—1 Sam. 1:10, 12, 18; 2 Cor. 1:3, 4.
Husband and wife need to ask for help from elders if one of them de watch picture or film of naked people
Talk to elders for your congregation make them help you. Them “be like place wey person fit hide from heavy breeze. Place wey person fit hide from heavy rain.” (Isa. 32:2, ftns.) Them fit still tell you the sister wey you fit tell how you de feel and wey fit make your mind come down.—Prov. 17:17.
YOU GO FIT HELP-AM?
You go fit help your husband stop to de watch picture or film of naked people? You fit. Bible show say e better make two people join hand solve problem or fight big enemy. (Eccl. 4:9-12) Research don show say husband and wife go get good result if them join hand fight this bad character, and e go help them fit trust each other again.
The truth be say na your husband hand e dey if e really want work hard to stop to de watch picture and film of naked people. Your husband don pray to Jehovah say make e give-am power to stop this bad character, and talk to the elders for congregation say make them help-am? (2 Cor. 4:7; Jas. 5:14, 15) E get plan wey go help-am stop this bad character? For example, e de control the way e de use im phone or computer and run away from situation wey fit make-am watch this bad thing? (Prov. 27:12) E dey ready to accept help from you and use all e mind talk truth with you? If your answer na yes, you go fit help-am.
How you fit do-am? See one example. Felicia husband wey e name na Ethan de watch picture and film of naked people since when e dey young. Felicia make-am easy for im husband to fit talk to-am anytime wey e de feel like to watch-am. Ethan talk say “I no de hide anything, I de tell my wife the truth. E use love help me know where I suppose do reach and always check if I never pass-am. And e help me know how I suppose de use internet.” The truth be say, e de pain Felicia say im husband de watch picture and film of naked people. But Felicia talk say, “the way I de vex and feel pain no help-am comot hand from this bad character. After we discuss the matter, my husband ready to work with me so that I no go feel bad again.”
When them talk about-am, e go help the husband to fit stop this bad character and help im wife fit trust-am again. When husband ready to tell im wife all the things wey e de struggle with, things wey e do, and where e de go, im wife no go de suspect-am.
You really believe say you go fit help your husband like this? If your answer na yes, make una read and talk about this article together. Make im plan be to fit stop this bad character and do wetin go make you fit trust-am again. Instead make e de vex say you want make una talk about the problem, make e try understand how the problem de make you feel. Your plan na to support-am to fit stop this bad character and give-am chance to do wetin go make you trust-am again. Two of una go need to know wetin de make people fall for this trap and how them fit stop-am.d
If you feel say the discussion go end with quarrel, you fit tell one elder wey two of una respect well-well, make e dey with una for some time as una de talk about-am. Make you know say even after your husband don stop to watch picture or film of naked people, e fit still take you sometime before you go really fit trust-am again. So make you no tire. De put eye for the small-small things wey de show say things de better for your marriage. Make una get-am for mind say if una dey patient, una marriage go strong again.—Eccl. 7:8; 1 Cor. 13:4.
WHAT IF E STILL DE DO-AM?
What if your husband still watch-am after e don stop-am for some time? E mean say e no want change, or e no go ever fit change? E fit no be so. If to de watch picture or film of naked people don enter im blood, e fit be say e go struggle with-am for the rest of im life. Even after e don stop-am for plenty years, e fit still do-am again. To make sure say e no happen again, e need to make up im mind and make strong decision wey go help-am no fall for the trap again. E still need to continue to do im best even when e think say e don win the fight. (Prov. 28:14; Matt. 5:29; 1 Cor. 10:12) E go need to “continue to make the way [e] de think dey new,” and learn to “hate wetin bad.” This one mean say e go need to hate to de watch picture and film of naked people and other dirty things like to de rob im own private part to make-am feel like say e de sleep with woman. (Eph. 4:23; Ps. 97:10; Rom. 12:9) E ready to do all this things and change? If im answer na yes, e mean say hope still dey.e
Put all your mind for wetin go make you near Jehovah more
But what if your husband no want change? This one fit make you de vex and de feel say you don fail or say person wey you trust don fail you. To fit get peace of mind, leave the matter for Jehovah hand. (1 Pet. 5:7) Continue to de do wetin go make you near Jehovah more, like to de study, pray, and think deep about wetin you study. If you do this one, Jehovah go de near you more-more. As e dey for Isaiah 57:15, Jehovah “dey with people wey life don tire and people wey need help” so that them go get peace of mind again. Do your best to worship Jehovah well. Ask elders make them help you. No lose hope say your husband fit change.—Rom. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9.
a For this article, we go talk about the husband as the person wey de watch picture or film of naked people. But wetin we go talk go still help husband wey im wife de watch picture or film of naked people.
b Bible no talk say to de watch picture or film of naked people, be wetin go make husband and wife end their marriage.—Matt. 19:9.
c No be their real name we use.
d Some article dey jw.org and our magazine them wey go fit help una. For example, read this article, “Pornography Can Shatter Your Marriage.” for jw.org; “You Can Resist Temptation!” for Watchtower, April 1, 2014, pp. 10-12; and “Pornography—Harmless or Toxic?” for Watchtower, August 1, 2013, pp. 3-7.
e Because say to de watch picture or film of naked people de quick enter blood, some husband and wife don choose to meet doctors for help, join the shepherding wey elders de do.