THINGS WEY FIT HELP FAMILY | MARRIAGE

E Good Make We Live Together Before We Marry?

Plenty people de live together before them marry. Some people de do-am to check if them go fit live together as husband and wife, or to check if the marriage go work when them finally marry. But you think say e good make man and woman de live together before them marry?

For this article we go talk about:

Wetin Bible talk?

Bible condemn make man and woman de sleep with each other before them marry. For example, e talk say: “No put hand for sex wey no clean.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3; 1 Corinthians 6:18) Even if man and woman get the mind say them go marry later, them no suppose put hand for sex wey no clean.a Wetin Bible talk go help them no born pikin when them never marry, and e go still protect them from other problem wey fit happen when them de live together before them marry.
Na God arrange make man and woman de marry. When e start-am, e talk say: “[The] man go leave im papa and im mama and e go dey tight with im wife, and them go be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) When man and woman don promise theirself say them go stay together for marriage and no leave each other, this one dey part of wetin go help them succeed and happy for their marriage.

To de live together before una marry go help una ready for marriage?

Some people feel say if man and woman de live together before them marry, e go help them ready for marriage. Them feel say e go help them know each other well-well, and know how them de behave as them de do things together for house. But part of wetin de make marriage succeed na the promise wey man and woman make to each other before them marry, say them no go leave each other no matter wetin happen.

Wetin husband and wife fit do to hold each other tight weather things good or e no good? No be when them de live together before them marry de do “testing-testing,” go help them fit hold each other tight. This one fit make them de feel say them fit waka comot anytime if the relationship no work. But no be so e be when man and woman don marry. Because when man and woman marry, them don make up their mind and promise each other say them no go leave each other. So them go work together to solve any problem wey them get.

The main point: When man and woman de live together before them marry, this one no de help them ready for marriage, instead, e de give them opportunity to waka comot from the relationship anytime wey them like.

Bible advice: “Anything wey person de plant na wetin e go still harvest.”—Galatians 6:7.

To de live together before una marry go help una save money?

Some people feel say if man and woman de live together before them marry fit help them save money. One research wey Pew Research Center do for United States show say, four people out of ten people de live together when them never marry because them feel say e fit help them save money. But after them don live together for some time, some of them still talk say na because them no get enough money make them never ready to marry.

When man and woman wey never marry de live together, this one fit cause other problem for them especially for the woman. For example, after the relationship end, most times na the woman de carry the load to care for any pikin wey them get.

The same woman sit down for chair and e carry baby wey de cry. E sit down like person wey life don tire and the man de pack leave-am.

The main point: The problem wey de come when man and woman wey never marry de live together, de big pass any gain wey them think say them fit get.

Bible advice: “Na me, Jehovah, be your God. Na me be the Person wey de teach you for your own good.”—Isaiah 48:17.

To de live together before una marry go help you know if the person go good for you?

Some people feel say if them de live together before marriage, this one go help them know if the person go good for them. But one book wey the name na, Fighting for Your Marriage talk say: “People wey de stay together before them marry no know say as them don begin stay together, e go make-am hard for them to end the relationship.” Why e be like that? People wey do research about this matter notice say some people wey de live together before them marry, fit don see say them no de flow well and them de get serious problem. But them fit continue to manage the relationship because of some things wey them don put hand together. For example, two of them fit don contribute money to pay house rent or the woman fit don get belle.b The book still talk say, “Man and woman wey for no open eye marry each other go finally dey together because of wetin them don put hand.”

The main point: If man and woman wey never marry de live together e fit make-am hard for them to end relationship wey no de work. So to live together before marriage no de help them know who go good for them.

Bible advice: “When person get sense, e go see danger and hide. But when person no get sense e go just de go, and e go suffer the result.”—Proverbs 22:3.

If man and woman no live together before them marry, better way dey to know if the marriage go work?

People wey de stay together before them marry de face plenty problem. But if you go like marry, e get wetin you fit do to run from all this problem and make your marriage succeed. How you fit do this one? Na to follow wetin Bible talk about marriage. Settle down know the person wey you de plan to marry before una marry and start to live together as husband and wife. E get important things wey person suppose put for mind when e de choose who e want marry. Things like, wetin the person believe and how e de see the things wey God talk.

Bible get better advice wey fit help you prepare for marriage if you want succeed and de happy.c For example, Bible get better advice wey fit help you . . .

run from anything wey concern sex matter wey God hate
get better character wey go make you be better husband or wife
know if the person wey you want marry go good for you

To know more about some of this topic, check the part wey be, “Marriage and Family” for jw.org

Bible advice: “Everything wey them write for the Word of God, na God use im spirit direct-am and e good to use-am teach.”—2 Timothy 3:16.

a Check the article, “Does Romantic Love Justify Premarital Sex?”(For English)

b From the article, “Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia and the Premarital Cohabitation Effect,” wey Scott M. Stanley, Galena Kline Rhoades, and Howard J. Markman write for the book wey the title na, Family Relations.

c For some part of the world, na papa and mama de choose who their pikin go marry. For this kind situation, Bible fit help the papa and mama choose well.