Kutheni Bebaninzi Kangaka Nje Abantwana Abashiya Ikhaya?

IBhayibhile Nobomi Bentsapho—Lo mxholo uza kubalaseliswa kwiinkupho ezine ezilandelelanayo zeMboniselo

“Ngaba kukho nabani na onokuyithelekelela indlela umama abandezeleka ngayo xa intombi yakhe ishiya ikhaya? Kumenza amelwe yingqondo. Yintoni ebangele ukuba ihambe? Andiyiqondi le nto. Ubeyintombi ethobekileyo neyonwabileyo yaye ebeseze ngobuso elizweni.

“Unokuba uphi ngokuhlwa nje? Ngaba ufudumele? Ngaba ulambile? Ngaba ulikheswa? Andisamthandi nje ngako. Akukho mntu endinokuncokola naye. Sendakufane nje ndisonge izandla ndilinde.

“Sihlandlo ngasinye kukhala imfonomfono ndithiwa merhe luvalo. Kodwa akanditsaleli mnxeba yaye andiva nento le ngaye. Ndiye ndathandazela ukuba akhuseleke nokuba nam ndibe namandla de le meko idlule. Ndisoloko ndicinga ukuba angathi gqi nangawuphi na umzuzu.

“ . . . Ndicinga wonke nje uvobe wento njengoko ndizama ukuzixolisa. Kowu, Thixo onofefe, nceda ubuyisele intwazana yam ekhaya.”

LE LETA ingasentla yathunyelwa kumbhali wemihlathi yamaphephandaba nokwangumcebisi owaziwayo ekuqaleni kweminyaka yee-1970. Ngelo xesha kwakucingwa ukuba abantwana babeshiya ikhaya bengenazizathu zivakalayo zokwenjenjalo: njengokufuna ukuthabatha uhambo lodelo-ngozi, ukulinga ukuzihlalela, ukungavumi ukuba sendlwini kwangethuba, ukucatshukiswa kukuphela kothando phakathi kwenkwenkwe nentombazana. Nangona bambi beshiya ikhaya ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo, izinto ziye zaguquka kwiminyaka eli-15 edlulileyo.

Ngokufuthi ulutsha lwanamhlanje lushiya ikhaya ngenxa yeemeko ezimaxongo ngokugqithisileyo—ukuwohloka ngokugqithisileyo kweemeko entsatsheni okulwenza luzive lungafunwa yaye lungathandwa; lusenokude lundlandlathekiswe. Ibe kunokuba lubalekele ntweni ithile—ubomi obumnandi nobunomtsalane ngakumbi—lubaleka lusuka ntweni ithile, luye kuphila ubomi bentshontsho nobokungonwabi kumakhaya olubalekela kuwo. “Abantwana abashiya ikhaya bohluke mpela ngoku kwinto ababekade beyiyo ngoxa kwakusathandwa kakhulu ukubhalwa ngabo” ekuqaleni kweminyaka yee-1970. “Ngelo xesha abantwana babefuna ukuphila ubomi obahlukileyo. Akunjalo namhlanje. Umntwana oshiya ikhaya sukuba ekholwe yeyokosa likhaya lakhe,” utsho njalo uGqr. Douglas Huenergardt, ongumongameli wamakhusi abantwana abashiya ikhaya eFlorida.

Uhlolisiso lwakutshanje luyakungqinela oko. Kanti lukwabonisa enye into eyothusayo. Abantwana abaninzi abalishiyi ikhaya kuphela kuba bephepha ubomi bentsapho obunganyamezelekiyo kodwa namhlanje phantse isiqingatha sabantwana abashiya ikhaya eUnited States abalishiyi kuba bethanda—bakhutshelwa ngaphandle kwamasango okanye bakhuthazwa ukuba balishiye ikhaya ngabazali babo! Ulindixesha oyiFamily Relations uthi: “Abantwana abaninzi abafikisa ebuntwini obukhulu bashiya ikhaya ngenxa yokuxengaxenga kwentsapho, ngenxa yemeko yomsebenzi okanye yemfundo. Eneneni, abantwana abaninzi abashiya ikhaya baye bagxothwa, okanye bakhutshelwa ngaphandle kwamasango. Olu lutsha luyaxelelwa ukuba lulishiye ikhaya okanye lunikelwe umva ngabazali balo. Bambi abantwana baphathwa kakubi gqitha ngokuphindaphindiweyo kangangokuba ababoni cebo limbi ngaphandle kokuba yindlela.”

Hayi indlela okulusizi ngayo oko! Hayi indlela ekukubi ngayo oko ebantwaneni! Kuba, xa lungabangcuchalazi, lungenamali yaye lungenanto lunokuziphilisa ngayo, ulutsha ludla ngokuphethukela ekungqibeni, ekusebenziseni iziyobisi, ekuhenyuzeni nasekubeni neminwe emide, okanye luye lube zizisulu zokuxhatshazwa ngabanye. “Asingabo oonontlalontle namagcisa ezengqondo abathi babulise abantwana abashiye ikhaya kwizikhululo zooduladula, kodwa ngabantu abafunela amadoda ihenyukazi, abathengisi beziyobisi nababonisi bezinto ezingamanyala. Iingcali ezingamashumi asibhozo anesithandathu ekhulwini ekwathi kwadliwan’ indlebe nazo zathi incinane okanye ayikho kwaukubakho into eyenziwayo ukuthintela abo bathi bashiye ikhaya ekubeni ngamaxhoba aba baphangi. Akumangalisi ukuba, impilo yabo bathi bashiye ikhaya iyadodobala okukhona besiba ngabangcuchalazi ixesha elide,” litsho njalo iphephancwadi iPsychology Today.

Liyinyaniso elokuba, kumiswa amakhusi angakumbi nangakumbi ukuze kuhlaliswe, kondliwe kuze kunyanyekelwe abantwana abangenamakhaya. Kodwa ukuhlalisa abantwana abathi bashiye ikhaya kuloo makhusi nokubanceda ngokwenene akuyonto ilula. Omnye umcebisi uthi, “Umsebenzi wethu kukubethelela ezingqondweni zabo umlinganiselo wokuzixabisa, ukubenza bazinyamekele. Ibe lowo ngowona msebenzi unzima endakha ndawenza.” Ngexesha ulutsha lufika apho, ludla ngokubalumkela luze lungabathembi abantu abakhulu, luziva lubuhlungu, lunomsindo, okanye luphelelwe lithemba yaye lusenokude luzibulale.

Ngaba ezi ngxaki zinokuconjululwa kwasentloko? ISearch eyincwadi yaseNew Jersey ekugcinwa kuyo ingxelo yabantu abalahlekileyo ithi, “Ikakhulu, elona nani likhulu labantwana abashiya ikhaya libangelwa yimicimbi ethile yentsapho. Umntu owonwabe ngokwenene akanakushiya ikhaya.” Ngoko, yintoni eya kwenza intsapho yonwabe? Ngaba amaqhina aphakathi kwabazali nabantwana anokomelezwa?