Ol Yangfala Oli Askem . . .
?Mi Save Mekem Wanem Blong No Slip Olbaot Bifo Mared?
“Taem mi mi gat 19 yia, mi slip wetem wan boe we mi mitim hem long skul. Biaen, mi mi harem nogud bitim mak. Mi harem se mi mi gud blong nating nomo.”—Laci.a
‘YUFALA i no mekem fasin nogud wetem woman.’ Hemia wan oda we i stap long Baebol. (1 Korin 6:18) Be tede, sam yangfala nomo oli glad blong obei long tok ya blong Baebol mo stap klin gogo oli mared. Samfala, olsem Laci, oli mekem samting we tingting blong olgeta nomo i wantem, nao biaen oli harem nogud tumas mo tingting blong olgeta i trabol.
I tru, i no isi blong bos long ol filing blong seks. Buk ya Adolescent Development i soemaot samting ya, i talem se ol jenis we oli kamaot long bodi blong yangfala oli mekem se “filing blong wantem seks i kam antap moa.” Boe ya Paul i talem se: “Samtaem, mi sek we mi stap tingbaot seks, be i no gat wan samting we i hapen blong pulum mi blong tingbaot samting ya.”
Nating se i olsem, wan bigfala dokta blong ol pikinini, nem blong hem Howard Kulin, i talem se: “Taem yumi talem se ol jenis long bodi [blong yangfala] oli pulum hem blong mekem rabis fasin, hemia wan isi rod blong mekem eskius nomo from fasin blong hem.” Hem i talem se ol narafala we yangfala i joen wetem olgeta, oli save pulum hem tu. Tru ya, ol narafala—antap moa, ol narafala yangfala—oli save gat bigfala paoa long ol boe mo gel.
Buk ya, A Tribe Apart, we Patricia Hersch i raetem, i talem se “ol yangfala oli wokem prapa komuniti blong olgeta. . . . Komuniti ya i no jes wan grup blong ol yangfala fren, be hem i kam wan grup we i wantem stap longwe [long ol bigman], wan grup we i gat ol prapa tingting mo rul blong hem.” Be “ol tingting” mo “rul” blong plante yangfala tede oli pulum olgeta blong folem ol filing blong seks, i no blong bos long ol filing ya. Taswe plante yangfala oli harem se oli mas traem seks bifo we oli mared.
Ol yangfala Kristin oli waes mo oli gat strong tingting blong stap longwe long enikaen fasin nogud wetem woman. Oli save se God i tok agensem fasin ya olsem wan “rabis samting we tingting blong olgeta i wantem.”b (Galesia 5:19) ?Be olsem wanem yu save stap klin taem ol narafala yangfala oli stap slip olbaot bifo mared?
Jusum Ol Gudfala Fren
Yes ol yangfala fren oli save pulum yu nogud. Be ol gudfala fren oli save pulum yu long gudfala rod. Olsem Baebol i talem: “Sipos man i go joen long ol waes man, bambae hem i save kam waes.” (Ol Proveb 13:20; 1 Korin 15:33) Ripot blong Wol Helt Ogenaesesen (WHO) i talem se: “Taem ol yangfala oli frengud wetem papa mama blong olgeta, mo wetem ol narafala bigman we oli laekem olgeta, mo wetem ol yangfala fren,” mo “taem oli gat klia tingting long ol rul we oli mas folem long laef blong olgeta, . . . bighaf blong olgeta oli no save slip olbaot.”
Frengud wetem papa mama blong yu, hemia i save mekem yu yu haremgud mo givhan bigwan long yu. Joseph i tingtingbak se: “Papa mama blong mi, tufala i halpem mi bigwan blong winim ol traem we oli bin pulum mi blong wantem slip olbaot.” Yes, ol papa mama we oli onagud long God, oli save tijim yu long ol klia tingting mo rul we oli stanap long Tok blong God. (Efesas 6:2, 3) Oli save givhan gud long yu blong traehad blong stap klin.
Ating fastaem yu sem blong tokbaot seks long tufala. Be maet yu sapraes blong luk we tufala i kasem save gud long filing blong yu. Tingbaot se bifo, tufala tu i yangfala. Taswe, Sonja i givim advaes ya long ol yangfala se: “Go toktok wetem papa mama blong yu, mo yu no mas sem blong tokbaot seks.”
?Olsem wanem sipos papa mama blong yu tufala i no stap folem ol rul blong Baebol? Yu mas ona long tufala yet, be maet yu mas askem advaes long samfala afsaed long famle. Paul we yumi tokbaot hem antap, i se: “Mi bin tokbaot bisnes ya long saed blong seks wetem sam gudfala Kristin man mo woman we oli mared finis.” Yangfala gel ya Kenji, we mama blong hem i no folem ol rul blong Baebol, hem i se: “Blong kasem advaes, mi mi go luk olgeta we oli bigman long tingting blong olgeta, mo we oli leftemap tingting blong mi long saed blong spirit.” Be hem i givim woning ya se: “Mi stap longwe long olgeta we oli no strong blong folem ol gudfala fasin, nating we oli stap long sem skul olsem mi.”
Long Kristin kongregesen tu, yu mas lukaotgud blong jusum ol gudfala fren. Baebol i talem se long enikaen bigfala grup blong man, plante taem i gat samfala we oli no gat gudfala fasin. (2 Timoti 2:20, NW ) ?Yu yu mas mekem wanem sipos yu faenemaot se sam yangfala long kongregesen oli “gat tu tingting”? (Ol Sam 26:4) Yu no mas joen oltaem wetem olgeta. Yu mas lukaot ol fren we oli givhan long yu blong holem strong tingting blong stap klin.
Sakemaot Ol Waes Blong Wol
Yu mas tekem aksin tu blong blokem ol buk, video kaset blong miusik, video gem, sinema, mo Intenet, we oli soemaot ol doti pija, mo we oli mekem plante toktok blong pulum tingting long saed blong seks. Televisin, radio, mo ol niuspepa, oli tokbaot seks bifo mared olsem we hem i wan gudfala samting, wan samting we yu save haremgud long hem mo i no gat denja long hem. ?Ol toktok olsem oli save mekem wanem long yu? Kenji we yumi tokbaot hem antap, i talem se: “Mi bin lukluk wan sinema we i mekem olsem se seks bifo mared i oraet nomo, mo tu i pulum tingting i go long fasin ya we man i slip wetem man bakegen. Nao mi stat blong fogetem tabu we Jeova i putum long ol fasin ya.”
Tru ya, plante pleplei mo sinema oli haedem ol nogud frut blong seks bifo mared—olsem, gel i gat bel, tufala i mared taem tufala i yang tumas, mo ol sik blong seks. Taswe, yu no mas letem ol waes ya blong wol i giaman long yu. Waes ya i kamaot long ol man we oli “stap talem ol fasin we oli nogud, se oli gud nomo, mo ol fasin we oli gud, se oli nogud.”—Aesea 5:20.
Yu no mas fogetem tok blong Ol Proveb 14:15: “Man we i no gat hed, hem i save bilif long evri samting, be man we i gat hed, hem i stap lukluk gud long rod we bambae i folem.” Sipos yu stap ridim wan buk, no yu stap lukluk Intenet long kompiuta, no yu stap lukluk televisin, nao yu sek long sam pija we oli wekemap tingting mo filing long saed blong seks, yu mas tekem aksin hareap. !Satem buk, ofem kompiuta, kilim televisin! Nao yu mas tingbaot wan narafala samting—wan samting we i gud. (Filipae 4:8) Sipos yu mekem olsemia, yu save blokem ol nogud tingting, bifo we oli gat taem blong pulum yu.—Jemes 1:14, 15.
Blokem Ol Samting We Oli Save Pulum Yu
Sipos yu yu wan gel we i stap fren wetem wan boe, no wan boe we i stap fren wetem wan gel, yutufala i mas lukaotgud. Baebol i givim woning se: “Oltaem nomo, tingting blong man i stap giaman long hem bakegen. I no gat narafala samting we i save giaman olsem, i nogud we i nogud olgeta.” (Jeremaea 17:9) Ol fasin blong soemaot lav oli save lidim yutufala blong slip tugeta. Yutufala i mas waes. I gud yutufala i tekem narafala i go wetem yutufala oltaem, no yutufala i goaot wetem wan grup blong ol narafala man mo woman we oli gat gudfala fasin. I nogud yutufala i stap yutufala nomo long ples we i save pulum yutufala blong slip tugeta.
Maet yutufala i promes finis blong mared, ale yutufala i harem se i stret nomo we yutufala i soemaot lav. I tru, be wan ripot blong WHO i givim woning ya se: “Long ol ples we kastom i putum tabu long seks bifo mared, be bighaf blong ol gel oli slip wetem boefren blong olgeta i no longtaem bifo we tufala i mared.”c Taswe, i gud yutufala i putum sam rul long saed blong fasin blong yutufala blong soemaot lav. Olsem nao, bambae yutufala i protektem yutufala long ol trabol we i save mekem yutufala i harem nogud tumas.
I nogud tumas we plante boe oli fosem ol gel blong slip wetem olgeta, no oli mekem ol gel oli harem se oli mas slip wetem olgeta. Wan stadi we oli mekem long Yunaeted Stet, i soemaot se “6 long 10 gel long kantri ya we oli slip wetem boe bifo we oli gat 15 yia, oli no bin wantem blong mekem fasin ya.” Plante taem ol boe oli yusum paoa blong olgeta blong winim ol gel ya. (Prija 4:1) Baebol i tokbaot wan man we i mekem olsemia, hemia Amnon we i pikinini blong King Deved. Hem i ‘laekem tumas’ sista blong hem Tamara, nao hem i yusum wan trik blong fosem gel ya blong slip wetem hem.—2 Samuel 13:1, 10-16.
Hemia i no min se gel i no save blokem boe we i wantem repem no fosem hem. Sipos yu yu luksave denja, sipos yu no mekem samting we i save pulum boe blong repem yu, mo sipos yu tekem aksin hareap taem i gat denja, ale yu save protektem yu wan.d
“Wantem Tumas” Blong Stap Klin
Mifala i hop se ol advaes ya bambae i givhan long yu blong winim faet ya blong stap klin. Blong ademap evri samting, yumi save talem se samting we i stap long hat blong yu, hemia nao samting we bambae yu folem long fasin blong yu. Jisas i talem se ‘long tingting blong man nao, ol rabis tingting oli save kamaot,’ olsem tingting ya blong “mekem i nogud wetem woman.” (Matiu 15:19) Taswe yu mas lukaotgud blong no gat “tu tingting” (tingting we i hafhaf nomo) mo blong no “giagiaman” (gat tu fes) long saed blong impoten bisnes ya.—Ol Sam 12:2; 119:113.
Sipos yu harem se tingting blong yu i no moa strong blong blokem rabis fasin ya, no tingting blong yu i hafhaf, i gud yu prea olsem Deved. Hem i askem strong long God se: “Yu mekem we mi bambae mi wantem tumas blong mekem ol wok blong yu nomo.” (Ol Sam 86:11) Biaen, yu mas wok folem prea blong yu, hemia i min se yu mas stadi Baebol mo ol buk we oli stanap long Baebol, mo yu mas mekem samting we yu lanem i wok long laef blong yu. (Jemes 1:22) Lydia i talem se: “Samting we i givhan long mi blong winim ol traem long saed blong seks, se mi tingbaot oltaem tok ya: ‘Man we i stap mekem ol fasin nogud blong man wetem woman, mo man no woman we i mekem ol narafala krangke fasin olsem, bambae oli no save go insaed long niufala wol ya we God i king long hem.’ ”—Efesas 5:5.
Ating i no isi blong stap longwe long fasin ya blong slip olbaot. Be sipos Jeova i halpem yu, bambae yu yu naf blong stap klin mo blokem trabol we i save mekem se yu mo plante narafala oli safa mo harem nogud.—Ol Proveb 5:8-12.
[Futnot]
a Mifala i jenisim ol nem.
b Lukluk haf long pej 16, “Ol Yangfala Oli Askem . . . ?From Wanem Seks Bifo Mared i Rong?”
c Lukluk japta 29 blong buk ya Ol Kwestin We Ol Yangfala Oli Askem—Ol Ansa We Oli Wok Gud, we ol Witnes blong Jeova oli wokem.
d Ol advaes olsem i kamaot long ol haf ya “Young People Ask . . . Sexual Harassment—How Can I Protect Myself?” (“?Olsem Wanem Blong Protektem Mi Wan Long Man We i Wantem Pleplei Long Saed Blong Seks?”) mo “How Can I Stop My Boyfriend From Mistreating Me?” (“?Olsem Wanem Blong Blokem Raf Fasin Blong Boefren Blong Mi?”) we oli stap long Wekap! (Franis mo Inglis) Ogis 22, 1995, mo Jun 22, 2004.
[Tok blong pija long pej 27]
Sipos yu tokbaot ol filing blong yu wetem papa mama blong yu, samting ya i save givhan long yu blong stap klin
[Tok blong pija long pej 28]
Sipos tufala i goaot wetem wan grup, samting ya i save protektem tufala