?Mared i Save Stanap Strong Nating Se Trabol i Kasem Hem Olsem Bigfala Hariken?
“From we God i joenem tufala olsem, man i no mas brekem mared blong tufala.”—MATIU 19:6.
I NO longtaem i pas yumi bin harem nius blong plante strongfala hariken we oli kilim ol defdefren kantri long wol. Ol hariken ya oli soemaot se ol man oli wokem haos blong olgeta i strong gud we i save stap longtaem no nogat. Plante haos we ol man oli ting se oli strong nomo, be win i teremaot ol haos ya long fandesen blong olgeta, i brebrekem ol wol blong olgeta.
Mared i olsem wan haos we i gat fandesen blong hem wetem ol wol mo ruf blong hem. Mo tede i gat plante trabol we i olsem hariken nomo, we i stap spolem mared. Wan woman, nem blong hem Stephanie Coontz, i stap lukluk mo skelem laef blong ol famle bifo mo naoia, mo hem i talem se: “Bifo, mared i wan bigfala samting long laef blong ol man wanwan mo long komuniti. Be naoia, mared i no moa wan samting we i impoten long tingting blong ol man.”
?Yu yu luk frut we i stap kamaot tede from we mared i no moa impoten long tingting blong ol man? ?Yu yu ting se ol man long ples blong yu oli no moa tinghae long mared? ?From wanem i olsem? ?Mo wanem samting we man i save mekem blong gat wan mared we i stap longtaem mo i hapi? Fastaem i gud blong tokbaot wanem ol trabol ya we oli stap spolem plante mared tede.
Trabol We i Stap Spolem Mared
Ol trabol insaed long mared oli stat longtaem finis, long taem blong faswan papa mama blong yumi, Adam mo Iv. Tufala i wokem sam fasin no sam kaen tingting we oli stap olsem stamba blong ol trabol long mared tede. Tufala i mekem sin from we wanwan long tufala i tingbaot hem wan nomo, nao tufala “i statem fasin blong sin long wol ya.” (Rom 5:12) Baebol i tokbaot ol pikinini we tufala i bonem afta we tufala i brekem loa blong God, i se “oltaem, tingting blong olgeta i fulap nomo long ol rabis fasin.”—Jenesis 6:5.
Tede, ol samting oli sem mak. Wan long ol tingting ya we i stap spolem mared hemia we man i tingbaot samting we i save mekem i gud long hem wan nomo oltaem. Plante man oli ting se mared i wan fasin blong bifo nomo. Oli ting se i no save wok tede from we ol man oli tekem ol niufala fasin mo tingting. Mo long plante kantri naoia, ol loa long saed blong divos oli no moa strong tumas, mekem se divos i no moa wan samting blong sem.
Ol man oli no moa gat longfala tingting. Oli wantem kasem samting blong harem gud long hem, naoia nomo. Oli no tektaem blong tingbaot wanem frut bambae i kamaot sipos oli divos. Oli harem ol man i talem se taem yu divos yu fri mo yu save mekem ol samting we yu yu wantem, ale oli ting se bambae oli hapi moa sipos oli divos.
Sam man, taem oli kasem trabol insaed long mared blong olgeta, oli go luk ol spesel advaesa blong mared, no oli ridim ol buk we ol man olsem oli raetem long saed blong mared. Sore tumas be plante long ol “advaesa” ya oli strong blong talem long ol man se i moagud blong divos nomo i bitim we oli givim advaes blong sevem mared blong man. Wan buk (The Case for Marriage) i talem se: “Long ol handred yia we oli pas finis, naoia i faswan taem we yumi luk se mared blong ol man i trabolgud. Mared i no moa wan gudfala mak we ol man mo woman oli wantem kasem. Trabol ya i kamaot from sam nogud tingting, we samtaem ol ‘advaesa’ nao oli givim folem prapa tingting blong olgeta nomo. Olgeta ya oli ting se taem man i mekem promes blong stap tru long wan patna long ful laef blong hem, hem i stap talem wan samting we bambae hem i no naf nating blong holem mo promes ya i kam olsem wan baden long hem.”
Tingting Blong Ol Man i Jenis
Ol tingting blong man oli jenis tu long saed blong risen from wanem man i mared. Ating yu yu luk finis se, bifo, mared i wan samting we i joenem man mo woman we tufala i stap tru long tufala mo tufala i givgivhan long tufala. Be naoia, mared i joenem man mo woman we wanwan long tufala i tingbaot nomo se narawan i mas mekem samting blong hem i harem gud. Mo plante taem oli no kea sipos samting we olgeta wan i wantem i spolem patna blong olgeta. Wan niuspepa (Journal of Marriage and Family) i talem se tingting ya we ol man oli karem, se mared i wan rod blong kasem samting long narafala, “i stat long ol yia 1960 mo i kam antap bigwan long ol yia 1970.” Bifo, ol man oli tingbaot mared olsem wan rod blong kasem lav, gat wan fren we yu save joengud wetem mo we i stap tru long yu, gat pikinini, mo wok tugeta long evri samting. Be tede, i no moa gat plante man we oli tingbaot mared olsem.
I gat sam narafala jenis we i kamaot long plante kantri, mo we oli jenisim tingting we plante man i gat long saed blong mared. Wan long ol jenis ya hem i long saed blong fasin ya we bifo, man nomo i wok blong winim mane blong famle, mo woman i mekem ol wok long haos. Naoia, plante moa woman oli stap wok, mekem se long plante famle, papa mo mama tu i wok blong winim mane. Wan narafala jenis hemia fasin we plante man naoia oli gat pikinini bifo mared, mo samting ya i mekem se plante taem mama hem wan no papa hem wan nomo i stap lukaot long ol pikinini. Wan narafala jenis bakegen hemia fasin blong stap tugeta we oli no mared, hemia tu i kam antap bigwan. (Luk bokis ya “Oli Seraot Kwiktaem Nomo i Winim Olgeta We Oli Mared”) Narafala niufala samting tu we i kam antap naoia, hemia ol man we oli slip wetem man bakegen mo traehad blong olgeta ya blong pulum ol kantri blong letem loa i agri long mared blong olgeta. ?Olsem wanem? ?Ol jenis ya long wol oli jenisim tingting blong yu tu long saed blong mared?
Namba Blong Ol Divos i Kam Antap Bigwan
Bambae yumi tokbaot ripot blong sam kantri we oli soemaot se fasin blong divos i kam antap bigwan, mo from samting ya, ol man mo woman oli no moa strong blong mared olsem bifo. Wan ripot we oli mekem i no longtaem long Yunaeted Stet, i talem se, “namba blong ol mared man mo woman we oli stap divos i go antap fo taem stat long 1970 i kam kasem 1996.” Samting olsem 1 long evri 5 man oli gotru long wan divos. ?Hu olgeta we mared blong olgeta i foldaon kwiktaem nomo? Ol ripot oli soem se raonabaot 60 pesen blong olgeta man mo woman we i divos, oli divos long ol faswan ten yia blong mared blong olgeta.
Namba blong ol divos i kam antap bigwan long ol narafala kantri tu. Long 2004, namba blong ol divos long Inglan mo Wels i kasem 153,490. Ol man Ostrelia oli kaontem se klosap 40 pesen blong ol mared blong olgeta i stap divos. Long Ripablik blong Koria, long wan yia nomo, hemia long yia 2002 i go kasem 2003, i gat 167,100 mared we oli finis long divos, namba ya i hae moa i bitim 2001 from we 21,800 moa mared i finis long divos. Long Japan, bifo i gat 1 long evri 4 mared we i finis long divos, be naoia namba blong ol divos blong hem i stap kam klosap sem mak long hemia blong Yurop. Wan man we i wok long Japan Red Cross University i talem se: “I gat taem bifo we ol man mo woman oli divos from sam bigbigfala trabol we i kamaot insaed long mared. Be naoia, ol man oli divos from enikaen smosmol samting nomo.”
Long plante kantri we plante man oli strong blong go long jos mo oli folemgud ol kastom blong bifo, mared i bin stapgud longtaem. Be long ol kantri ya tu, naoia i no gat man i save blokem fasin blong divos. Tingbaot, long Katolik Jos, mared i wan samting we i tabu. Be long 1983, jos i no moa folem ol strongfala rul blong hem long saed blong mared, mo samting ya i mekem i isi moa long ol Katolik blong endem mared blong olgeta. Nao, stat long taem ya, namba blong ol divos i kam antap bigwan.
Yes, i klia se mared i no moa wan samting we i holem man mo woman i stap longtaem tugeta. Be sam risen from wanem divos i kam antap, oli no klia blong man i luksave. I tru se plante problem i kamaot from fasin blong laef blong man i jenis. Be i gat wan bigfala samting we i mekem ol mared oli stap brokdaon, mo bighaf blong ol man oli no luksave samting ya.
Wan Strongfala Win We Man i No Save Luk
Baebol i soemaot se Devel Setan i stamba blong fasin ya we man i tingbaot hem wan nomo mo hem nao we, ol man oli no save luk hem, be hem i stap spolemgud laef blong ol man long wol. ?From wanem i olsem? From we olgeta long heven oli sakemaot hem finis i kamdaon long wol ya, mo hem i kros tumas. Hem i wantem tumas blong mekem trabol long ol man. Mo mared ya we God i stamba blong hem, hemia wan long ol samting we kros i pulum Setan blong i wantem spolem fulwan.—Revelesen 12:9, 12.
Jisas i tokbaot taem we oli sakemaot Setan long heven i kamdaon long wol se “bambae ol fasin nogud oli kam bigwan moa, nao bighaf blong ol man bambae oli no moa lavem God.” (Matiu 24:12) Aposol Pol i tokbaot samting we i klosap sem mak i se: “Bambae ol man oli save tingbaot olgeta nomo, mo bambae oli wantem mane tumas. Bambae oli man blong tok flas, we tingting blong olgeta i go antap tumas, mo oli save tok nogud long ol man. Bambae oli no save ona long papa mo mama blong olgeta, oli no man blong talem tangkiu, mo oli no save tingbaot God. Bambae oli no man blong gat sore long man, mo oli man blong mekem i strong tumas oltaem long ol narafala man. Bambae oli man blong spolem nem blong narafala man, mo oli man blong lusum hed, mo oli wael olgeta. Bambae oli no wantem ol fasin ya we i gud, oli agens long hem. Bambae oli man blong spolem ol fren blong olgeta, mo oli man we oli no kea, mo oli praod tumas. Bambae oli man we oli wantem tumas ol samting we oli stap harem gud long hem, i winim we oli stap lavem God.” (2 Timoti 3:2-4) Oltaem nomo ol man oli bin gat ol rabis fasin ya, be long taem blong yumi, ol fasin ya oli kam bigwan moa mo nogud moa, mo plante long yumi i luksave samting ya.
?From we plante trabol i stap spolem ol mared tede, yumi save mekem wanem blong blokem ol trabol ya mo mekem mared blong yumi i hapi mo i stap longtaem? Nekis haf bambae i tokbaot samting ya.
[Tok blong makem poen long pej 5]
“Yumi laef long wan wol we ol man oli lan tumas blong sakem samting taem oli les long hem. Sore tumas, be semfala fasin ya tu we oli stap mekem insaed long mared.”—Sandra Davis, wan loea we i wok long ol kot kes blong divos
[Bokis blong pija long pej 4]
“Oli Seraot Kwiktaem Nomo i Winim Olgeta We Oli Mared”
Plante man mo woman, oli stap tugeta we oli no mared. Be wan ripot long Yunaeted Stet (U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) i makem se ol man mo woman ya we oli laef wanples nomo be oli no mared, “oli seraot kwiktaem nomo, i winim olgeta we oli mared.” Sam man mo woman we tufala i laef tugeta, tufala i ting se fasin ya i save halpem tufala blong luksave sipos tufala i stret blong mared. ?Olsem wanem? ?Fasin ya i rili halpem ol man mo woman blong faenem stret patna mo gat wan mared we i strong gud? Wan niuspepa (Journal of Marriage and Family) i talem se fasin ya i no rili givhan nating. Hem i se: “Ol mared man mo woman we oli bin laef tugeta fastaem, oli no rili harem gud long mared blong olgeta . . . , oli fesem plante problem, mo . . . plante mared olsemia oli brokdaon.”
[Bokis blong pija long pej 5]
Man i Laef Longtaem Moa Be Mared i Stap Smoltaem
Ol man tede oli laef longtaem moa i bitim ol man bifo. Hemia wan gudfala samting. Be hemia wan narafala samting tu we i mekem trabol long mared. Tede, divos i endem fulap mared we maet long taem bifo, ded nomo bambae i endem. Long Japan i gat wan narakaen samting i stap hapen long ol olfala mared man mo woman, samting ya naoia i gat nem blong hem olsem wan sik. Wan niuspepa (The Washington Post) i talem se oli kolem hemia “sik blong ol hasban we oli ritae.” Wan woman i tokbaot taem we hasban blong hem i ritae, afta we tufala i mared 40 yia finis, i se: “Bambae mitufala i mas divos nao. Mi bin hadwok evri dei blong lukaot long hem taem hem i kamhom long wok. Be naoia we hem i ritae bambae hem i stap ful dei nomo long haos, mo mi no naf blong lukaot long hem oltaem olsem.”