Japta 31

?Olsem Wanem Blong Save Sipos Hemia i Trufala Lav?

OLGETA we oli stap drim, oli ting se lav i stap kasem wan man no woman wantaem nomo, mo se hem i wan filing blong haremgud bitim mak we ating man no woman ya bambae i no moa kasem bakegen long laef blong hem. Oli ting se lav i wan samting long hat blong yumi we yumi no kasem save long hem, yumi harem nomo. Lav ya i save winim olgeta samting mo i stap olwe . . .

Hemia nao tingting blong olgeta we oli stap drim. I tru, taem wan man mo woman i ‘fol in lav,’ tufala i gat wan spesel filing we ating tufala i neva harem bifo. ?Be, wanem ya trufala lav?

?Laekem Narafala Wantaem Nomo?

Fastaem we David i mitim Janet, hemia long wan lafet. Wantaem nomo, David i laekem hem, from we bodi blong Janet i naes tumas, mo from we, taem hem i laf, hea blong hem i stap foldaon i kavremap wansaed ae blong hem. Janet i laekem David from we ae blong hem i braon, mo from ol fani stori blong hem. !I luk olsem se, wantaem nomo, tufala i laeklaekem tufala!

Blong tri wik, David mo Janet tufala i wokbaot tugeta evri ples. Nao wan naet, wan boe we Janet i fren wetem hem fastaem finis, i toktok i kam long telefon. Janet i harem nogud, ale hem i telefon i go long David blong kasem sam tok we bambae i mekem hem i harem gud bakegen. Be tingting blong David i fasfas mo hem i fraet se bambae Janet i laekem narafala boe moa, ale hem i tok kros. Long naet ya, lav we tufala i ting se bambae i no save finis samtaem, hem i lus.

Ol sinema, ol buk, mo ol stori long televisin, oli wantem pulum yumi blong ting se lav we i kasem yumi wantaem nomo, i save stap blong olwe. I tru, klosap oltaem, wan samting long saed blong bodi nao i faswan samting blong pulum man mo woman blong laeklaekem tufala. Taswe, wan boe i talem se: “I had blong ‘luk’ ol fasin blong wan woman.” ?Yes, wanem samting we man mo woman i “laekem” taem tufala i jes save tufala blong sam aoa no dei nomo? Ating samting we tufala i luk nomo. Yu no save yet ol tingting blong narafala ya, ol samting we hem i wantem long fiuja, ol samting we hem i fraet from, ol plan blong hem, ol fasin blong hem, ol samting we hem i naf blong mekem mo we hem i gat gudhan long olgeta. Yu yu save ol samting we yu stap luk nomo, i no samting “we i stap haed insaed long hat” blong hem. (1 Pita 3:4, NW) ?Kaen lav ya i save stap longtaem?

Bodi Mo Fes i Save Trikim Yu

Mo tu, wan naesfala bodi mo fes i save trikim yu. Baebol i talem se: “Gudfala fasin blong woman i save trikim man isi nomo, mo fes we i naes i no save stap longtaem.” Naesfala pepa we oli kavremap wan presen long hem i no soemaot wanem i stap insaed. Yes, maet wan pepa we i naes tumas i kavremap wan presen we i nating nomo.—Ol Proveb 31:30.

Ol Proveb i talem se: “Woman we fes blong hem i naes, be i no gat hed, hem i olsem gol ring we man i hangem long nus blong pig.” (Ol Proveb 11:22) Long taem blong Baebol, ol woman oli stap hangem ol ring long nus blong olgeta blong flasem bodi blong olgeta. Ol ring ya oli naes tumas, plante long olgeta oli wokem long gol. Yes, ring olsem hemia faswan samting we i pulum man blong lukluk woman.

Proveb ya i talem se wan naesfala woman we i “no gat hed” i sem mak long wan “gol ring we man i hangem long nus blong pig.” Fasin naes i no stret nating long wan woman we i no gat hed, i olsem samting we i flasem hem blong nating nomo. !Naes bodi mo fes blong hem i no save mekem we hem i gat gudfala fasin, olsem we wan flas ring we i hang long nus blong pig i no save mekem hem i naes! Ale, i rong olgeta blong laekem wan man no woman from bodi mo fes blong hem nomo, be yu no tingbaot wanem i stap long tingting mo hat blong hem.

‘I Gat Samting We i Save Trikim Man Moa’

Samfala oli ting se yu no save mestem long saed blong lav, sipos yu folem samting we hat blong yu i wantem. Oli talem se: ‘!Lesin long hat blong yu, bambae yu save sipos hemia i trufala lav!’ Be sore tumas, ol trabol we i kamaot i soem se samting ya i no tru. Sam man oli askem kwestin long 1,079 yangfala (oli gat 18 yia go kasem 24 yia), nao oli faenemaot se wanwan long ol yangfala ya oli bin ‘laekem’ seven defren boe no gel finis. Plante oli talem se hemia i giaman lav nomo, i no stap strong mo i lus kwiktaem. !Nating se i olsem, ol yangfala ya “oli talem se boe no gel we oli laekem naoia, hemia truwan”! Ating, bambae i no longtaem, plante long olgeta oli luk se lav ya i sem mak long hemia we oli gat long ol narafala bifo, giaman lav nomo.

Evri yia, plante taosen man mo woman oli mared mo oli stap talem se oli laeklaekem olgeta tumas. Be samting we i nogud se, smoltaem biaen, oli faenemaot se oli mekem wan bigfala mastik. Ray Short i tokbaot giaman lav ya long buk blong hem (Sex, Love, or Infatuation), i se: “Lav ya i pulum ol man mo woman we oli no stap wekapgud long tingting blong olgeta, blong oli mared, olsem ol sipsip oli folem man we bambae i kilim olgeta i ded.”

“Man we oltaem i stap folem tingting blong hem nomo [“hat blong hem,” NW], hem i krangke we i bitim mak.” (Ol Proveb 28:26) Plante taem, hat i save lidim yumi blong mekem wan nogud disisen. Yes, Baebol i talem se: “I no gat samting we i save trikim man moa, i winim hat blong hem.” (Jeremaea 17:9, The Living Bible) Proveb we yumi ridim fashaf blong hem finis, i gohed olsem: “I moa gud yu stap folem tok blong ol waes man, we oli stap tijim yu long hem.” Yu tu yu save ronwe long ol trabol mo wari we plante yangfala oli kasem, sipos yu lanem blong luksave olsem wanem giaman lav i defren long lav we Baebol i tokbaot, hemia lav we i no save lus samtaem.

Skelem Trufala Lav Wetem Giaman Lav

Calvin we i gat 24 yia i talem se: “Giaman lav i mekem se man i no luksave plante samting, mo i no wantem luksave. Hem i wantem bilif long samting we i no tru.” Kenya, wan gel we i gat 16 yia, i talem se: “Taem yu gat giaman lav long narafala, yu ting se evri samting we hem i mekem i stret gud nomo.”

Giaman lav i save luk olsem we i tru, be i no tru. Lav ya i mekem se man i no luksave ol samting, mo i tingbaot hem wan nomo. Giaman lav i pusum ol man mo woman blong talem se: ‘Taem mi stap wetem hem, mi harem se mi nao. Mi no save slipgud. Mi neva bilif se mi save harem gud olsem’ no, ‘Gel ya i mekem mi mi harem gud bitim mak.’ ?Yu luk hamas taem hem i yusum tok ya “mi”? !Fasin fren we i stanap long fasin blong tingbaot yumi wan nomo bambae i no save stap longtaem! Be, makem tok blong Baebol long saed blong trufala lav, se: “Man we i stap lavem man, tingting blong hem i longfala, mo hem i gat sore long man. Man olsem, hem i no save jalus, mo i no save mekem tingting blong hem i go antap, mo i no save flas. Hem i no save jikim man, mo i no save tingbaot hem nomo. Hem i no save kros kwik, mo i no save stap kros longtaem.”—1 Korin 13:4, 5.

Lav we i stanap long ol rul blong Baebol i mekem man i tingbaot narafala fastaem, “i no save tingbaot hem nomo.” Strong filing blong lav i save pulum man mo woman blong tufala i laeklaekem tufala. Be ol filing ya oli mas joen wetem stret tingting mo bigfala respek we tufala i gat long tufala. Taem yu laekem wan man no woman tru, ol samting we oli mekem hem i haremgud mo i glad oli impoten long yu tu, olsem we ol samting we oli mekem yu yu glad oli impoten long yu. Yu no letem filing blong lav i kam antap bitim mak we i mekem se yu no moa naf blong skelemgud ol samting.

Wan Eksampol Blong Trufala Lav

Stori blong Rejel mo Jekob long Baebol i soemaot samting ya i klia nomo. Tufala ya i luk tufala fastaem long wan wel, taem Rejel i kam blong givim wota long ol sipsip blong papa blong hem. Kwiktaem Jekob i laekem hem. Rejel i “wan gudfala yang gel, we bodi blong hem i naes.” Be i no hemia nomo. Jekob i laekem Rejel tu from we hem i wan gel we i wosip long Jeova.—Jenesis 29:1-12, 17.

Afta we Jekob i spenem wan ful manis long haos blong famle blong Rejel, hem i talemaot se hem i laekem Rejel mo hem i wantem mared wetem hem. ?Hemia i giaman lav? !No gat! Long wan manis we Jekob i stap, hem i lukluk ol fasin blong Rejel—olsem wanem hem i mekem long papa mama blong hem mo ol narafala man, olsem wanem hem i mekem wok blong hem blong lukaot long ol sipsip, olsem wanem hem i tinghae long wosip blong Jeova. Yes, Jekob i luk ol “gudfala fasin” mo ol “nogud” fasin blong hem. Taswe, lav we Jekob i gat long hem i no jes wan strong filing nomo, be hem i trufala lav we i stanap long bigfala respek mo ol trufala samting.

From samting ya, Jekob i talem se hem i rere blong wok long papa blong Rejel blong seven yia, blong hem i save tekem Rejel olsem waef blong hem. !Tru ya, giaman lav i no save stap longtaem olsem! Trufala lav nomo, hemia trufala intres long Rejel, i save mekem seven yia ya i luk olsem “sam dei nomo.” From trufala lav ya, tufala i naf blong holemtaet klin fasin long ol yia ya.—Jenesis 29:20, 21, NW.

!Tekem Taem!

Man we i gat trufala lav i no save harem nogud from we plante taem i pas. Yes, i gud blong letem taem i pas, hemia nambawan rod blong traem ol filing we yu yu gat long wan gel no boe. Wan yangfala woman, nem blong hem Sandra, i talem se: “Yu no save luk prapa fasin blong wan man from ol toktok blong hem, se: ‘Mi mi olsem olsem. Naoia yu save olgeta samting long saed blong mi.’” No gat, i tekem taem blong save wan man no wan woman we yu yu intres long hem.

I gud blong letem taem i pas, nao samting ya i givim janis long yu blong skelem lav we yu gat long narafala wetem lav we Baebol i tokbaot. Tingbaot, man we i gat lav i “no save jikim man, mo i no save tingbaot hem nomo.” ?Fren blong yu i wantem se ol plan blong yu oli kamtru? ?No hem i tingbaot ol plan blong hem nomo? ?Hem i stap soem respek long ol tingting blong yu, mo ol filing blong yu? ?Hem i bin pulum yu blong joen long sam fasin we i olsem se oli ‘jikim’ yu, jes blong hem i save mekem filing blong hem wan i haremgud? ?Hem i stap daonem yu long fored blong ol narafala man, no i stap talem ol tok we i leftemap tingting blong yu? Sipos yu traem faenem ansa long ol kwestin olsem, bambae yu save skelemgud ol filing blong yu.

Lav we i kamaot kwiktaem i save givim trabol. Gel ya, Jill, we i gat 20 yia, i talem se: “Mi mi laekem boe ya kwiktaem mo filing blong mi i strong we i strong.” Afta we hem i stap krangke long boe ya blong tu manis, tufala i mared. Biaen, ol nogud fasin blong tufala oli stap kamaot. Jill i stat blong soem fasin blong hem blong no trastem hem wan mo ol narafala, mo fasin blong tingbaot hem nomo. Hasban blong hem, Rick, i no moa talem ol naesfala tok blong lav, hem tu i stap tingbaot hem nomo. Tu yia i pas, nao wan dei Jill i singaot strong long man blong hem se hem i “olsem wan samting nating nomo,” “wan les man,” mo wan “rabis” hasban. Taem Rick i harem tok ya, wantaem nomo, hem i tanraon i faetem fes blong Jill. Wota i foldaon bigwan long ae blong Jill, nao hem i girap i aot long haos—mo i aot long mared blong tufala tu.

Sipos tufala i bin folem advaes blong Baebol, samting ya bambae i givhan long tufala blong sevem mared blong tufala. (Efesas 5:22-33) !Ol samting bambae oli defren sipos tufala i bin tektaem blong savegud tufala bifo we tufala i mared! Bambae tufala i laeklaekem tufala from ol trufala fasin blong tufala, ol gudfala fasin mo ol slak fasin, be i no from wan “pija” we i stap long tingting blong tufala nomo. Bambae tufala i rere moa from ol trufala samting we oli kamaot long laef blong tufala biaen.

Trufala lav i no save kamaot long wan naet nomo. Mo tu, maet wan man no woman we yu laekem tumas fes mo bodi blong hem, i no wan gudfala hasban no waef. Barbara i talem se hem i mitim wan yangfala man, be fastaem hem i no ting se man ya i naes tumas. Hem i talem se: “Taem mi stat savegud man ya, Stephen, ol samting i jenis. Mi luk we hem i stap tingbaot ol narafala, mo oltaem hem i stap putum olgeta fastaem long hem wan. Hemia ol fasin we mi save se bambae oli mekem wan gudfala hasban. Nao samting ya i pulum mi mo mi stat blong laekem hem.” Wan gudfala mared i kamaot from.

?Taswe, olsem wanem bambae yu save sipos hemia i trufala lav? Hat blong yu i save pulum yu, be trastem tingting blong yu we yu bin trenem folem ol toktok blong Baebol. Traem save plante moa samting long saed blong man ya, i bitim “lukluk” blong hem nomo. Letem taem i pas, blong fasin fren blong yutufala i save kam dip moa. Tingbaot, giaman lav bambae i kam antap bitim mak long wan sot taem, be biaen bambae hem i lus. Trufala lav bambae i tekem moa taem blong kam dip, mo bambae i “joenem ol man oli kam wan.”—Kolosi 3:14, NW.

Ol Kwestin Blong Tokbaot

◻ ?Wanem trabol i save kamaot sipos yu laekem tumas wan man no woman from naes fes no bodi blong hem nomo?

◻ ?Yu save trastem hat blong yu blong halpem yu blong luksave trufala lav?

◻ ?Wanem sam samting we i defren long saed blong trufala lav mo giaman lav?

◻ ?From wanem plante boefren mo gelfren oli seraot? ?Samting ya i rong?

◻ ?Olsem wanem yu save winim ol nogud filing taem fasin fren wetem wan boe no gel i finis?

◻ ?From wanem i impoten we tufala i tekem taem blong savegud tufala?

[Tok blong makem poen long pej 242]

?Yu yu laekem ol fasin blong man ya no jes wan “pija” blong hem w e i stap long tingting blong yu?

[Tok blong makem poen long pej 244]

Man no woman we i naes be i no gat hed, hem i “olsem gol ring we man i hangem long nus blong pig”

[Tok blong makem poen long pej 246]

Wan man we i stap daonem yu oltaem long fored blong ol man, hem i no laekem yu tru

[Bokis blong pija long pej 245]

?Trufala Lav No Giaman Lav?

TRUFALA LAV

1. Yu tingbaot ol nid blong hem i no blong yu

2. Lav i kamaot sloslou, maet i tekem plante manis no yia

3. Yu yu laekem hem from prapa fasin blong hem, mo ol fasin blong hem long saed blong spirit

4. Lav ya i mekem yu yu kamgud moa long fasin blong yu

5. Yu savegud ol prapa fasin blong hem, yu luk ol mastik blong hem, be yu laekem hem yet

6. Yutufala i no agri oltaem, be yutufala i save toktok blong winim ol trabol

7. Yu yu wantem givim, mo serem samting wetem hem

GIAMAN LAV

1. Yu tingbaot yu wan nomo. Yu ting se, ‘?Bambae mi kasem wanem?’

2. Lav i stat kwiktaem, maet long sam aoa no sam dei nomo

3. Yu yu intres bigwan long bodi no fes blong narafala. (‘Fes blong man i gud.’ ‘Bodi blong woman i naes’)

4. Lav ya i spolem yu, yu no save mekem ol wok blong yu

5. Yu no luk klia. Yu luk hem olsem we hem i stretgud olgeta. Yu no wantem luksave sam slak fasin blong hem

6. Oltaem i gat rao. Yu no winim ol rao ya. Kis “i finisim” rao

7. Yu yu wantem kasem ol samting, olsem haremgud long saed blong seks

[Bokis blong pija long pej 248, 249]

?Olsem Wanem Blong Winim Broken Hat?

Naoia nomo yu save se hemia nao man no woman we bambae yu mared wetem. Yutufala i glad long fasin joen blong yutufala, yutufala i stap laekem ol sem samting, mo yutufala i harem se yutufala i laeklaekem yutufala. Be kwiktaem, fasin fren ya i finis, kros i kamaot—no wora blong ae oli ron.

Long buk blong Dokta Michael Liebowitz, The Chemistry of Love, hem i tokbaot lav olsem wan strong drag. Mo olsem wan drag, lav i save gat ‘ol sik blong hem’ sipos i godaon. Mo samting ya i sem mak long giaman lav no ‘trufala lav.’ Tufala kaen lav ya oli save mekem filing i go antap—mo oli save mekem filing i godaon tu sipos fasin blong fren olsem i finis.

Ol filing se man i no moa laekem yu, i mekem hat i soa, mo maet kros we i kamaot from, i save spolem tingting blong yu long fiuja. Wan yangfala woman i tokbaot hem wan olsem ‘hem i kasem kil’ from we boefren blong hem i livim hem. Hem i talem se “Naoia mi no moa save toktok plante long ol man mi save talem ‘Halo, ?olsem wanem?’ nomo [long ol man]. Mi no save letem man i fren wetem mi.” Sipos filing blong yu i strong tumas taem yu stap fren wetem wan man no wan woman, bambae yu yu harem nogud moa taem fasin blong fren olsem i finis.

Yes, i tru ya, trabol i save kamaot from fasin fri blong fren wetem man no woman we yu laekem: man ya no woman ya i save lego yu. Yu no save sua se trufala lav bambae i gru. Taswe sipos wan man we i stap goaot wetem yu i rili wantem mared wetem yu be biaen hem i talem se i no waes blong yutufala i mared, samting ya i no min se hem i mekem i nogud long yu. No gat.

Trabol se, nating se fasin fren i finis long waes mo kaen fasin, bambae yu yu harem nogud yet mo bambae yu yu harem se narafala i no moa laekem yu. Be samting ya i no mas mekem yu yu no moa tinghae long yu wan, no gat. Long lukluk blong hem yu yu no “stret” long hem, be samting ya i no min se bambae narafala man i no save laekem yu, no gat.

Traem gat stret tingting long saed blong fasin fren ya we i finis. Fasin ya we fasin fren i finis i save soem sam nogud samting long saed blong man no woman ya we yu fren wetem hem—hem i no bigman long saed blong filing, no save mekem disisen, hem i strong tumas, hem i no gat longfala tingting, hem i no tingbaot ol filing blong yu. Hemia ol fasin we yu no wantem long fren we bambae yu mared wetem.

?Olsem wanem sipos wan nomo i wantem finisim fasin fren ya mo yu yu bilif se mared i save kamaot? Tru ya, yu yu gat raet blong talemaot filing blong yu long narafala. Maet fasin fren i bin finis from we hem i no kasem save long sam toktok no tingting blong yu nomo. Fasin blong tok strong no tok nogud long hem i no save winim wan samting. Mo sipos hem i strong blong finisim fasin fren blong yutufala, i no nid blong mekem samting we yu save sem from, se yu krae blong askem hem we i no gat filing long yu blong laekem yu. Solomon i talem se i gat ‘taem blong faenem samting, mo taem blong lusum samting.”—Prija 3:6.

?Olsem wanem sipos yu ting se narafala i bin yusum yu be hem i no rili intres blong mared wetem yu? Yu no nid blong givimbak. Yu mas save se God i stap lukluk giaman fasin ya blong hem. Tok blong hem i talem se: “Taem man i stap mekem i strong tumas long narafala man, hemia i stap spolem hem nomo.”—Ol Proveb 11:17; skelem wetem Ol Proveb 6:12-15.

Samtaem maet yu save harem i soa from we yu stap yu wan no from we yu tingbaot yet ol filing blong lav. Sipos i olsem, i oraet nomo blong krae smol. I gud tu blong yu bisi, long sam wok no long wok blong prij. (Ol Proveb 18:1) Tingbaot ol samting we oli save mekem man i glad mo oli save leftemap tingting. (Filipae 4:8) Toktok wetem wan gudfala fren blong yu. (Ol Proveb 18:24) Ol papa mama blong yu oli save givhan long yu tu, nating sipos yu harem se yu yu bigman finis we yu stap dipen long yu wan. (Ol Proveb 23:22) Antap moa, toktok wetem Jeova.

Maet naoia yu save luk nid blong kamgud moa long sam fasin blong yu. Maet tingting blong yu long ol samting we yu wantem long wan hasban no waef i kam klia moa bitim bifo. Mo from we i bin gat wan man no woman we yu laekem hem mo i lego yu finis, maet yu save tingtinggud moa nekis taem blong lukaotgud long fasin frengud wetem narafala man no woman sipos samting ya i kamaot bakegen—mo maet hemia i save kamtru bitim we yu tingbaot.

[Tok blong pija long pej 247]

“Giaman lav i mekem se man i no luksave plante samting, mo i no wantem luksave. Hem i wantem bilif long samting we i no tru.”—Toktok blong wan man we i gat 24 yia

[Tok blong pija long pej 250]

“Naoia mi no moa save toktok plante long ol man mi save talem ‘Halo, ?olsem wanem?’ nomo. Mi no save letem man i fren wetem mi”