Searching for Roots—An Adoptee Longed to Know
Legal Wall of Secrecy
LAST year my wife and I watched portions of the week-long television special entitled “Roots.” Perhaps more than most viewers, I could fully understand why many desire to know their origins. It’s only natural to wonder where you came from, and what your parents and other relatives are like. Interestingly, recently more and more persons have been searching for their roots.
“The quest for personal origins has turned phenomenal,” noted a feature Newsweek article. A spokesman for a genealogical library observed regarding this growing quest: “The reason people give is almost invariably, ‘I just want to know who I am.’”
There is a segment of the population, however, that has a special interest in their origins. It is we who are adopted by foster parents. But most of us who have tried have been frustrated at practically every turn in our attempt to discover the identity of the parents who caused our birth.
Do you know what’s responsible for this secrecy? Is there good reason for it?
Legal Wall of Secrecy
Laws in the United States mandate secrecy. When a child is adopted, a new birth certificate is issued; the idea, in effect, is that the child receives a ‘new birth.’ The original birth records of adoptees are sealed, and they remain sealed against almost every appeal of an adoptee to see them. Fines and imprisonment are sometimes imposed on persons who break the seal contrary to the law’s provision.
In virtually all states in the U.S., even when adoptees reach adulthood, they are prohibited from seeing their birth records. Laws in other countries are different. In such places as Israel, Finland and Scotland, for instance, adult adoptees may obtain their original birth certificates.
Adoption laws in the U.S. affect literally millions of persons, including the some three to five million of us adoptees, as well as our natural and adoptive parents. It is said that the number of adoptions here are greater than the total for the rest of the world! In 1970, a high of 175,000 adoptions was reached in the U.S., but then the number started declining.
Development of Adoption Laws
A few years ago I became interested in learning more about the subject of adoption. From reading the Bible, it became apparent that the procedure evidently was an old one. For example, the Israelite baby Moses was taken from the Nile River and adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter, “so that he became a son to her.” (Ex. 2:5-10) I later read that provisions for adoption were incorporated in the ancient Babylonian Code of Hammurabi, the Hindu Law of Manu, as well as in Assyrian, Egyptian, Greek and Roman laws.
A particular purpose of these adoption laws was to prevent the extinction of family lines and to create legitimate heirs. Thus it is interesting to recall that Abraham, the father of the Israelite nation, evidently considered his slave Eliezer to be in line for a position similar to that of an adopted son. For Abraham said: “I am going childless and the one who will possess my house is a man of Damascus, Eliezer.”—Gen. 15:2-4.
In more recent times, adoption was unknown in English common law, on which United States law is based. So legal adoption did not exist in the U.S. until the individual states began passing laws permitting it sometime around the mid-1800’s. It was not until 1926 that the Adoption of Children Act made adoption legally possible in England. When the child is adopted, he is legally no longer related to his biological parents, but only to the parents who adopted him.
Humane Provision
I can personally testify to the benefits of these modern provisions for adoption. In the past, babies that parents either did not want or could not provide for were commonly reared in institutions. Generally, these children fared badly, and mortality rates were high. How much finer when couples who really want children can adopt little ones and give them the loving attention that they need!
My adoptive parents gave me such loving care, and I will always be grateful. They reared me as though I was their very own. At the same time, however, they let me know at a very early age that I was adopted. Adoptive parents are wise to tell their children this. When children learn it from others—and they are likely to do so—they usually are not only shocked but feel deceived by their adoptive parents who tried to keep the adoption a secret. However, the best time to explain to them about their having been adopted is when they can understand it a little better, perhaps when they are six to eight years of age.
In recent years, I have learned the great importance of environment on early child development, which makes me even more appreciative of my adoptive parents. For example, in the United States black children typically have not had the same educational and cultural advantages as have whites. Thus black children reared in white homes, where they have more educational advantages, usually achieve higher IQ scores than do other black children.
Source of Adoptable Babies
During the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, many white parents were adopting black children. In fact, over one third of all black adoptees were, for a time, being placed with white parents. But then black leaders began protesting vigorously. They said that, in the long run, these children would have greater problems when they grew up to face the real world. They would be rejected by whites, the critics said, because of their skin color, and by blacks because of their vastly different values and behavior.
But why, you may wonder, are many whites eager to adopt black and biracial babies? It is because of a severe shortage of adoptable white babies. Waiting lists at agencies are years long, and some agencies won’t even accept new applicants. But why is there a shortage? Since the major source of adoptees has always been illegitimate babies, why, with the skyrocketing illegitimacy rates, are there fewer adoptable infants?
Particularly, it is because an unwed mother is no longer frowned on by today’s changing society. Famous rock music stars and movie stars rear their illegitimate children, and hit songs such as “Having My Baby” have glamorized the trend. Thus, a few years ago, about 80 percent of unmarried mothers in the U.S. were giving up their babies for adoption. More recently, however, only about 20 percent have been relinquishing them—hence, fewer adoptable infants.
Do mothers who give up their babies ever wonder about them? Why do adoptees want to find these biological parents?
The Desire to Know
Ever since I was a child, I wondered what my mother and father were like, and this despite my fine relationship with my adoptive parents. I’ve since learned that most other adoptees feel similarly, as if “a piece of themselves was missing.” It is as Dr. Arthur D. Sorosky, who has studied the subject extensively, says:
“We’ve found that the adopted child’s curiosity does not depend on whether or not he has a good relationship with his parents. It is a simple, universal need to know one’s roots. The adoptee’s desire for genealogical information—or even to meet his natural parents—is a need which can’t really be comprehended by a non-adopted person. Nor can it be discounted as occurring only in emotionally disturbed individuals.”
Also, I’ve since learned that biological mothers often long to know about the child that they gave up. I can remember my adoptive mother, a very sensitive and sensible woman, mentioning on my birthday, ‘Your mother, wherever she may be, is probably thinking about you today.’ I’m thankful that both Mom and Dad have been so understanding. When I finally determined to make the search, they helped me in it.
A study has revealed that most adoptees who have found their biological parents are happy that they made the search. Even when what they found was not pleasant, not knowing was considered even more unpleasant. I can vouch for this.
But I realized that the finding of my physical roots was not of primary importance to the finding of real happiness. For, after all, when traced back far enough the roots of the entire human family lead to the patriarch Noah, who survived the global flood. So what is truly vital is finding, not our physical roots, but a favorable relationship with God, our spiritual Father. Although treasuring this relationship with Jehovah God as most important, still I desired to find my natural parents. Let me now tell you the results of my search for my roots.