Enduring After a Tragic Loss
As told by Elise Harms
FORTY years ago on January 8, 1941, my husband, Johannes Harms, was executed by the Nazis. Why? Because his conscience would not permit him to share in war, slaughtering his fellowmen on the other side of the Nazi battle line. He had steadfastly refused to “heil” Hitler. Johannes was not afraid to maintain such Christian neutrality even at the cost of his own life.
I will never forget the touching letter that he sent to his father, Martin, just before being executed. My husband wrote:
“Now I, too, have been given an opportunity to prove my faithfulness to the Lord unto death, yes, in faithfulness not only up unto death, but even into death. My death sentence has already been announced and I am chained both day and night—the marks (on the paper) are from the handcuffs—but I still have not conquered to the full. Remaining faithful is not made easy for one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I still have an opportunity to save my earthly life, but only thereby to lose the real life. Yes, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses is given an opportunity to break his covenant even when in view of the gallows. Therefore, I am still in the midst of the fight and I still have many victories to win before I can say that ‘I have fought the fine fight, I have observed the faith; there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness which God, the righteous judge, will give me.’ The fight is doubtless difficult, but I am wholeheartedly grateful to the Lord that he not only has given me the necessary strength to stand up until now in the face of death but has given me a joy I would like to share with all my loved ones.
“My dear father, you are still a prisoner, too, and whether this letter will ever reach you, I do not know. If you should ever go free, however, then remain just as faithful as you are now, for you know that whoever has laid his hand to the plow and looks back is not worthy of the kingdom of God. . . .
“When you, dear father, are at home again, then be sure to take particular care of my dear Lieschen, for it will be particularly difficult for her, knowing that her dear one will not return. I know that you will do this and I thank you ahead of time. My dear father, in spirit I call to you, remain faithful, as I have attempted to remain faithful, and then we will see each other again. I will be thinking of you up until the very last.”
Perhaps you are wondering what happened to Johannes’ father and me after his execution. Have we endured, remaining faithful to Jehovah, as Johannes encouraged us to do?
Well, Johannes’ father, Martin, was in the concentration camp at Sachsenhausen when Johannes was executed, and he remained there until the end of the war. Then he returned home to Wilhelmshaven and helped to rebuild the congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses there. He served Jehovah God faithfully until his death in 1976, at the ripe old age of 90.
As for me, presently I live in a small apartment here in Wilhelmshaven, where I grew up and where I married Johannes back in 1936. Although I do not enjoy the best of health, yes, I am still active as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Have I remarried? No. Of course, Scripturally I was free to remarry. But the thought of finding happiness in the arms of another man, after Johannes had had such a struggle to remain faithful—no, for me personally the thought was just not appealing.
Before I explain what has helped me to endure various things during the past 40 years, let me first go back and tell you the circumstances that led up to Johannes’ execution.
ARREST AND EXECUTION
Johannes was arrested on September 3, 1940. This was already his second imprisonment after our marriage. My sister and I were able to visit him every three or four weeks. During our second visit we learned that he had been sentenced to death. So it did not come as a complete surprise to me when he was beheaded on January 8, 1941, although it was still a shock, of course. It hit me very hard.
But I knew that Johannes had not died as a criminal. I also knew that the officials had repeatedly tried by various means to make him compromise. I knew the difficult times he had gone through. There was little I could do to help him. So when I was notified that he had been executed, I was relieved to know it was over. For the moment, I forgot about myself, just thinking: “Now they cannot make him compromise. There is no danger any longer of his being unfaithful. He has endured faithful unto death.”
We had been married only about four years and eight months. Since we had been engaged for three years, we could have been married sooner, but kept putting it off. We knew the problems that we might have to face. Even then, times were critical in Germany. In fact, the activity of Jehovah’s Witnesses had been banned in the country.
When Johannes’ father (who was already serving his second term) was unexpectedly released from prison, we had used the occasion to get married. I can still recall that it was a beautiful spring day in May of 1936. We found joy together as a married couple until the Nazis arrested Johannes.
KEEPING FROM BECOMING BITTER
Some people let adversity make them bitter. They begin to doubt God’s love. They find fault with him, even going so far as to doubt his existence. When Johannes was executed, I knew that this was for a reason; he was killed for maintaining integrity to God. But just six months after I lost Johannes, death struck again—my mother died! This, I must admit, almost caused me to become bitter against God. I wondered: “Why, in my time of grief, did she, the one person I could count on most for support, also have to die?”
However, shortly thereafter we began to experience the real horrors of the war—the terrible air raids, for example, that almost totally destroyed some German cities. Since I had to work to make a living, I began to think: “Who would have cared for mother during this difficult time, had she still been alive? Since she was blind, who would have taken the time to help her to the air-raid shelter?” What a hardship it would have been for her! Slowly I regained my balance, realizing that at times Jehovah permits things that we may not understand, but that in reality show he “is very tender in affection and merciful.” (Jas. 5:11) I became convinced that as long as I keep a proper attitude and trust him completely, things will always turn out for my own good.
Here is another example. We had had a four-room apartment. However, when my husband was executed, I lost my right to keep it. I was ordered to leave. But where would I go? As if by a miracle, an army officer’s wife, who with her husband was being transferred to another location, arranged for me to take over three rooms in the apartment they were vacating. Still, it was with a heavy heart that I moved from the place that Johannes and I had shared together. Yet, what do you think happened to it about six months later? It was completely destroyed in an air raid!
COMFORTED—NOT BY MAN, BUT BY GOD
At the time Johannes was executed, I was working in an office. When my coworkers heard about what had happened, they tried, in their own way, to comfort me. They would invite me to their social get-togethers. While I appreciated their well-meaning efforts, I found genuine comfort elsewhere—in Jehovah God and his Word, the Bible.
There were times, sorry to say, when others did not always say the most encouraging things. I remember one time when a woman said to me (and this was shortly after Johannes had been put to death): “It’s your own fault; it did not have to happen. It was Johannes’ own fault!”
A cruel thing to say? Yes, in a sense, although—and I told her this—she was right. It was ‘our own fault.’ Johannes could have avoided it. And if I had tried to persuade him to compromise, perhaps I, too, could have avoided it. But how happy I was that we had both remained spiritually strong and had endured! I was happy that I had been ‘partly to blame.’
Of course, I have had my sad moments. But Jehovah “is very tender in affection,” and he has always provided comfort. Sometimes it has come in the most unusual ways. I recall one Sunday about three months after Johannes had been executed. The weather was gloomy. This plus all that I had been through, was really getting me down. I spent most of the day crying, wandering from room to room with my mother close behind trying to console me. I struggled with my tears but I could not control them. I remember thinking: “At least you used to get a letter once a month, but now you will not even get that—not a single line! If only I could get just one more letter—just one more!”
Later, during that same day, I went to the closet and began looking through some of my husband’s things that had been sent home after his execution. Among them was a small leather case that was used for holding pencils and other things. Suddenly, I noticed that one side was unusually thick. There seemed to be something inside. I ripped it open, stuck my fingers inside and began to pull out little pieces of paper. Yes, they were letters that Johannes had written in very small print, like a diary. There were 20 letters in all! You can just imagine how I felt. One letter would have been cause for rejoicing. But 20? I remember promising Jehovah: “I will never complain again!”
THE EXCITING POSTWAR YEARS
During the past 40 years I have never thought of giving up. Why should I? Johannes made a contribution to Jehovah by maintaining his integrity to the point of death; I can make a contribution by enduring as long as I am alive. (Compare Romans 12:1.) Of course, it has not been easy, and I could never have made it on my own. Prayer has been an extremely important aid for me. And preaching to others about God’s kingdom has been a real blessing, too. Whenever I felt sadness getting the better of me, I would go out to share in preaching the “good news.” Trying to comfort others with the message of the Bible made me forget my own problems.
Later, I was able to give up my secular job. Then I had more time to spend in preaching the “good news” to others. A Witness gave me a small car so that I could preach in outlying areas, and I was able to start a number of Bible studies with interested persons. One I particularly remember.
I called on a woman on a Thursday afternoon and remember telling her: “It would be much better if we could discuss these points systematically with the help of a book.” She agreed. Then I added: “And we have some wonderful meetings. I can pick you up on Sunday, if you would like to come.” Since I didn’t want to waste time, I got right to the point!
She agreed to come to the meeting. So the following Sunday afternoon I knocked at her door, only to be told: “Come in for a minute. My husband is not quite ready.”
“What?” I guess I showed my amazement. “Your husband wants to come along, too?”
And come he did. Later, I told them about our other meetings and they began to attend those also. Soon they were baptized, and a congregation book study was started in their home. Today, almost 30 years later, it is still being conducted there.
THE HAPPINESS OF ENDURING
On looking back, I would say that several things have helped me to endure. First of all, Johannes and I tried to be prepared, to think about what could happen in the way of trials. In our case, thinking about the situation beforehand and deciding what we wanted to do is what helped us to cope when it developed.
We also avoided doing anything that might have made our tests more difficult. For example, as a young married couple we did not needlessly go into debt. This would certainly have made the situation even more difficult—for both of us.
Over the years I have also learned not to expect too much of others. At times we may think our Christian brothers do not visit us often enough or pay us sufficient attention. But why should I want to rob them of the time and energy they need for their own families and various congregation responsibilities? I have come to appreciate that if I do not expect too much of others, I will not easily be disappointed. Any act of kindness and thoughtfulness that comes my way means just that much more and gives me added reason to thank Jehovah.
Of course, the most important thing that has helped me to endure has been trusting in Jehovah, presenting all my problems to him in prayer.
In the very last letter Johannes ever wrote to me, just hours before his execution, he expressed this thought that has remained with me ever since and that also has encouraged me to endure: “We do not want to be faithful to our God for the sake of a reward, but in order to prove by our steadfastness in His service that humans, like Job, can maintain integrity under the most difficult of trials.”
How happy Johannes would have been if he could have known then what I know now! He would be delighted to know that his father, after some five decades of service to Jehovah, remained faithful unto death, and that 40 years after his execution I, his “dear Lieschen,” am still among the happy ones who are striving to endure faithfully.
[Picture on page 28]
Johannes Harms and his death notice received from the Nazi authorities