Jehovah Helped Me Raise My Five Children

I grew up on a small, self-sufficient farm with my mother, father, two brothers, and two sisters. We had chickens, pigs, and cows. Of course, life on a farm meant hard work, but we were happy.

We attended the Methodist church. Since my father sang beautifully, he was in the choir and traveled to other churches in the area to sing. I often went with him. The churches were large stone buildings that were quite cold in the winter. Father would stand at the front of the church and sing. The front pews were reserved for influential people, so I had to sit at the back of the church. Still, I loved to hear him sing.

My dad’s mum, whom I called Granny, visited us every Sunday. Sadly, when I was about 16, she died. I was heartbroken. I wanted to know where she was and whether I would ever see her again. So to find out, I visited a spirit medium several times. Her home was cold and dingy, and I found it scary. I only wanted to know where Granny was, but the spirit medium couldn’t tell me that.

A few years later, one of my dad’s relatives who was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses invited me to attend a meeting. I decided to go even though I had heard that the Witnesses practiced a strange religion. At the meeting, a kind woman asked if I would like to study the Bible with her. That was how I started on the road to life. At first, I used my King James Version of the Bible because I believed what my mum had told me, namely, that the Witnesses used an inaccurate translation. I soon realized that was not true.

I was very excited about what I was learning from my Bible study, especially that Granny was “asleep” in the grave and that I could see her again in the resurrection!a As I studied, I realized that I knew next to nothing about God or the Bible. And Dad, who had gone to church all those years, knew almost nothing about God either. We had sung the hymn “Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah” many times; yet, we never even knew whom we were singing about.

Marriage and Opposition

My boyfriend, Ian, showed an interest in the truth and began to study the Bible. He started to make some progress and even stopped smoking. We were married in September 1971. But shortly after that, we faced a test of our faith when my mother-in-law suddenly died. Family members and close friends wanted us to join them in the social events they organized in connection with the funeral. At these events, many of them smoked and drank a lot. Ian felt a strong pressure to go back to his old habits.

Sadly, Ian caved in and began to struggle with the truth. He started missing his studies and some meetings. As for me, I loved my Bible study, the meetings, and the ministry. I was baptized on March 9, 1972. Ian came to see me get baptized. Gradually, though, he grew opposed to the truth. At first, he did not want to see our publications. Then, he did not want me to share in the ministry. Finally, he insisted that I join him at the local pub for Christmas and birthday parties. When I joined him out of respect for his headship, I was careful not to share in any unscriptural activity.b I would go into the ladies’ room and pray repeatedly for help to maintain my loyalty to Jehovah and a good conscience. I felt that Jehovah always supported me.

Ian and I had three boys: Philip, Nigel, and Andrew. My husband was away from home most of the week because he was a long-distance truck driver. I tried very hard to be a good wife to him and, at the same time, to serve Jehovah as fully as possible. I shared in the ministry while he was away and spent time with him on the weekends. I also made it a point never to speak negatively about him to our children.

I made many friends in the congregation and took some of them to visit my mum and dad. Gradually, my parents grew fond of my new friends. When one dear brother in our congregation died, Mum attended his funeral at the Kingdom Hall. Soon, Mum, Dad, my brother Stanley, and his wife, Averil, started to study the Bible and were baptized.

Stanley and Averil had a son and a daughter. My sister-in-law and I enjoyed going in the ministry together with our children. Neither Averil nor I had a car, so we walked miles in the ministry, pushing our baby carriages with great joy in our hearts. Andrew rode in the carriage, Nigel sat on top of it, and Philip walked beside us, holding onto the handle.

Training My Children

Ian and I went on to have two more children: Caroline and Debbie. I was determined to train my children in the ways of Jehovah. I wanted to do my best to apply any advice that the Bible contained for parents. I had dedicated myself to Jehovah, and I wanted to show my children that I honored that vow by doing things Jehovah’s way.

One of the first scriptures I memorized was 1 Corinthians 15:33, which says: “Bad associations spoil useful habits.” At an assembly, a sister related that she encouraged her children to leave their school friends at the school gates. I took that to heart, but it was challenging! Sometimes, the boys would sneak away from home to play football with the local lads. Many of my boys’ school friends were nice, but they didn’t serve Jehovah. This showed in their speech and conduct.

On one occasion, I told my boys that if they wanted to play football after school, I would play with them. But that didn’t work out well—I was hopeless at playing football! Still, I didn’t give up trying to help my boys see the need to choose their associations wisely, and eventually, the boys found ways to entertain themselves that didn’t involve associating with those who didn’t serve Jehovah.

Another scripture that I kept close in mind was 1 John 2:17, which reads: “The world is passing away and so is its desire, but the one who does the will of God remains forever.” I knew that Satan’s world would pass away, and it was my goal to help my children pursue spiritual goals and enjoy God’s favor forever. When problems arose, no matter how small, I prayed for help and always managed to find guidance from the Scriptures. When I pointed to what the Bible says, the children could see that they were being directed, not by me, but by Jehovah. I tried to encourage them by my word and example, and they responded well to my efforts. For instance, from an early age, each of them cultivated his own return visits in the ministry, which brought them joy and encouragement.

I knew that attending the meetings was most important. At one point, I noticed that the children were tired during the midweek meetings. So on meeting nights, I would pick them up from school and give them a light meal, and then we would take a nap. Problem solved! We only missed a meeting if one of us was ill and could not go to the Kingdom Hall. If so, we would review the program at home. The TV would only go on afterward. Sometimes, though, Ian would come home unexpectedly. Then, we would scramble to hide our books and turn on the TV.

We also prioritized family worship. We would sometimes talk about Bethel and discuss in which Bethel department the children might like to work.

Pioneering Was the Goal

When Philip, my eldest, was 16, he was offered a full-time job as an auto mechanic. He also had an opportunity to work part-time as a window cleaner. He didn’t want to clean windows and argued against the idea, explaining that he could help with household expenses if he worked full-time. I reasoned with him that it was his father’s responsibility to care for our family financially, not his. I then told him that we had always had enough to get by. I pointed out that if he worked part-time cleaning windows, he could begin pioneering immediately.

Philip started regular pioneering as soon as he finished school, and I started auxiliary pioneering. When my second son, Nigel, also began to pioneer after finishing school, I applied to become a regular pioneer as well. I thought that if I could pioneer even for one year, I could support my boys in the ministry and go to pioneer school. Later, I did get to go to pioneer school with Nigel.

From the start, I loved pioneering and knew that serving Jehovah in this way would set a good example for the children. Thanks to Jehovah, I have been able to pioneer for the past 35 years. Ian would have tried to prevent me from pioneering if he had known about it. But I always arranged to share in the ministry midweek when he was on the road so that I could spend time with him while he was at home.

Eventually, my son Nigel applied to Bethel and was accepted. There, he enjoyed excellent association and training, which helped him develop into a genuinely spiritual man. Philip and Andrew attended the Ministerial Training School.c In my eyes, they went to that school as boys, but they came home as men. (1 Peter 5:10) All the theocratic schooling available to Jehovah’s people is brilliant. I am so grateful to Jehovah and his organization for the training my boys have received.

Difficult Challenges

Over the years, I have faced difficult challenges. A huge trial was my husband’s unfaithfulness. After 33 years, he left me and went to live with someone else. Another challenge was seeing my parents age. Sadly, my dad died in March 1997. This left my mum alone, and she couldn’t drive. Without Dad, she felt sad and lonely, so I would often call her and say, “Do you want to go for a drive and make some return visits with me?” After several years, she chose to join me as a pioneer. This decision gave her life renewed purpose and direction. She enjoyed the work for ten years, continuing faithfully until her death.

Looking back, it wasn’t easy to raise five children in the truth. I always knew that my children needed to decide for themselves whether or not they would serve Jehovah. I could not control what they would do, but I could control what I would do. So I simply obeyed God’s direction and fully applied myself to teaching my children by word and example. I’m so proud that my children chose to serve God.d Truly, Jehovah helped me to raise them.