Ungaphumelela Lanxa Ukhulisa Abantwabakho Uwedwa

1-3. Kuyini okubangela ukuthi zibe zinengi izimuli ezilomzali oyedwa, njalo lokhu kubaphatha njani abazali kanye labantwababo?

EMHLABENI jikelele sezizinengi izimuli ezilomzali oyedwa. Imitshado ichitheka kusa kwamalanga. Abazali abanengi babalekela izimuli zabo futhi abanye bayehlukana. Abanye baba labantwana bengatshadanga. Lokhu kwenza ukuthi abazali labantwana bathwale nzima kakhulu.

² Omunye umama okhulisa abantwana eyedwa wathi: “Ngingumfelokazi oleminyaka engu-28 futhi ngilabantwana ababili. Ngihlala ngikhathazekile ngoba angifuni ukukhulisa abantwabami bengelababa. Vele ngibona angani akulamuntu olendaba lami. Abantwabami bahlala bengibona ngikhala futhi lokhu kuyabakhathaza.” Abazali abanengi abakhulisa abantwana bebodwa bangazithonisisa sibili, bezwe bezonda nje kungelasizatho futhi belesizungu. Kanti njalo bayabe beqhatshiwe ngapha lemisebenzi yangekhaya ibamelele. Kunzima kakhulu ukondla abantwana uwedwa. Uyathi usathi lapha sekulungile, kuvuke okunye futhi okumele ukwenze.

³ Abantwana abakhuliswa ngumzali oyedwa labo kukhona okubakhathazayo. Bangezwa ubuhlungu kakhulu nxa kuyikuthi omunye umzali wabo usuke ngekhaya sivukampunzana kumbe wafa bengalindelanga. Abantwana abanengi abondliwa ngumzali oyedwa kabakhuli kuhle.

4. Sikwazi njani ukuthi uJehova ulendaba lezimuli ezilomzali oyedwa?

⁴ Endulo zazikhona izimuli ezilomzali oyedwa. IMibhalo ikhuluma kanengi ‘ngentandane’ kanye ‘lomfelokazi.’ (U-Eksodusi 22:22; UDutheronomi 24:19-21; UJobe 31:16-22) Lanxa babethwele nzima, uJehova uNkulunkulu wayelendaba labo. Umhubi wathi uNkulunkulu ‘nguyise wezintandane, umlamuleli wabafelokazi.’ (IHubo 68:5) Akuthandabuzwa ukuthi ulendaba lazo izimuli ezilomzali okhulisa abantwana eyedwa. ILizwi lakhe lingazinceda sibili izimuli lezi.

UNGENELISA NJANI UKWENZA YONKE IMISEBENZI YANGEKHAYA?

5. Kuyini okungahlupha umzali osanda kufelwa kumbe ukutshiywa ngumkakhe?

⁵ Kunzima ukwenza yonke imisebenzi yangekhaya. Omunye umama owachithekelwa ngumtshado wakhe wathi: “Kulezikhathi lapho oyabe ufisa ukuthi ngabe ubaba ukhona ngekhaya. Phela nxa sekulento eyonakeleyo endlini, uyabe ungakwazi lokuthi uqalisele ngaphi.” Lendoda esanda kuchithekelwa ngumtshado kumbe esanda kufelwa ngumkayo ingatshaywa likhanda ngenxa yemisebenzi eminengi okuyabe sekumele iyenze endlini. Nxa ngekhaya kungasaqedakali ukuthi izinto zihamba njani abantwana bangacina bengasahlalisekanga futhi sebehlala bekhathazekile.

6, 7. (a) Singafundani ‘emfazini olesimilo’ okukhulunywa ngaye kuZaga? (b) Ukukhuthalela imisebenzi yangekhaya kungamsiza njani umzali okhulisa abantwana eyedwa?

⁶ Manje ungenzani? Khangela ukuthi “umfazi olesimilo” okukhulunywa ngaye kuZaga 31:10-31 yena wayesenzani. Imisebenzi ayeyenza iyamangalisa kakhulu. Wayethenga, ethengisa, ethunga, epheka, elima, elebhizimusi futhi waze wathenga lensimu. Waphumelela njani ukwenza konke lokhu? Wayekhuthele, esebenza liphuma lize liyetshona. Kanti njalo wayehlela kuhle, enika abanye eminye imisebenzi njalo esebenza ngezandla zakhe ukuze ancede abanye. Yikho wanconywa kakhulu.

⁷ Nxa kuyikuthi ukhulisa abantwabakho uwedwa, kumele uyikhuthalele imisebenzi yangekhaya. Yikholise imisebenzi le ngoba ungenza njalo abantwabakho bazathokoza. Kodwa kumele uqale uyihlele kuhle ubusuyenza ngokulandelana kwayo. IBhayibhili lithi: “Amalungiselelo abakhutheleyo anika umvuzo.” (IZaga 21:5) Omunye ubaba wathi: “Izikhathi ezinengi nxa sengilambile yikho lapho engicabanga khona ngokuthi sizakudlani.” Kodwa ukuhlela kuseselesikhathi kuzalinceda ukuthi lipheke ukudla okwakha umzimba futhi okukhwabithekayo. Kungadingeka lokuthi ufunde ukwenza eminye imisebenzi. Umama okhulisa abantwabakhe eyedwa angabuza abangane bakhe labanye ukuthi nxa sekulokuthile osekufile endlini angakulungisa njani kanye lokuthi angayisebenzisa njani imali.

8. Abantwana bangamncedisa njani umzali wabo ngekhaya?

⁸ Kuqondile yini ukucela abantwana ukuthi bakuncedise? Omunye umama owondla abantwana eyedwa wathi: “Uyabe ungafuni ukuthi abantwana bathi behlutshwa yikuthi kabala baba lawe ubusuphinda ubathwalisa nzima.” Kuyimvelo sibili ukuthi umzali azwe njalo, kodwa lokhu ngeke kubasize kangako abantwabakhe. Abasakhulayo okukhulunywa ngabo eBhayibhilini ababekhonza uNkulunkulu labo babephiwa imisebenzi ebalingeneyo. (UGenesisi 37:2; INgoma Yezingoma 1:6) Ngakho-ke lanxa kungamelanga ubathwalise nzima abantwabakho, akukubi ukubathuma ukuthi benze okuthile ngekhaya, njengokugezisa imiganu lokuthanyela lapho abalala khona. Eminye imisebenzi lingayenza lonke. Phela kumnandi ukusebenza ndawonye.

SIZAPHILA NGANI LABANTWABAMI?

9. Kuyini okubangela ukuthi omama abanengi abakhulisa abantwana bebodwa bayithole nzima imali?

⁹ Umzali oyedwa angayithola nzima imali yokondla abantwabakhe. Kanti njalo kulamantombazana aba labantwana engatshadanga, abesethwala nzima kakhulu.a Nxa elizweni lakini kulewelufeya, kungaba ngcono ukuthi uyecela khona uncedo ngesikhathi usadinga umsebenzi. LeBhayibhili liyawavumela amaKhristu ukuthi adinge usizo kuziphathamandla. (KwabaseRoma 13:1, 6) Abafelokazi labachithekelwa yimitshado labo badonsa nzima. Abanengi bayabe sebeleminyaka bengasebenzi njalo lokhu kwenza ukuthi nxa sebesiyadinga imisebenzi bacine sebethola engabhadali kangako. Abanye bafundela ukwenza imisebenzi ethile kumbe bayesikolo okwesikhathi esifitshane ukuze bafundele okuthile.

10. Umama okhulisa abantwana eyedwa angabasiza njani nxa bengazwisisi ukuthi kungani esedinga umsebenzi?

¹⁰ Nxa ubona ukuthi abantwabakho akubaphathi kuhle ukuthi usudinga umsebenzi, ungamangali njalo ungazisoli. Bachasisele ukuthi kungani kumele usebenze, ubusubonisana labo ukuze bazwisise ukuthi uJehova ufuna ubondle. (1 KuThimothi 5:8) Ngokuya kwesikhathi bazazwisisa. Lanxa kunjalo, zama ukuthi loba nini lapho othola khona isikhathi ukwejise labo. Nxa ungatshengisa ukuthi uyabathanda abantwabakho, abasoze bakhathazeke kakhulu ngezinto abaziswelayo.​—IZaga 15:16, 17.

UMNTWANA KAHLALE ENGUMNTWANA

11, 12. (a) Kuyini okungamelanga kwenziwe ngabazali, njalo bangenzani nxa kulokuthile okubakhathazayo? (b) Kuyini okumele ubaba ahlale ekukhumbula nxa kuyikuthi umkakhe watshona kumbe wamtshiya?

¹¹ Kwandile ukuthi nxa kulomzali oyedwa ngekhaya, yena labantwabakhe bangathontisani. Kodwa abantwana kumele bahlale bengabantwana lomzali ahlale engumzali. Ngokwesibonelo, kungaba lohlupho olukhulu nxa usufuna ukuthi indodana yakho yenze imisebenzi kababa wangekhaya kumbe ususithi ungavele ube lodubo utshele indodakazi yakho, uyithwalisa nzima ngendaba ezingayilingananga. Lokhu akuqondanga futhi kungenza umntanakho akhathazeke njalo adideke. Kwezinye izikhathi ungabe ufuna ukucetshiswa kumbe ukuncediswa. Cela abadala bebandla abangamaKhristu kumbe abesifazana asebekhulile, hatshi abantwabakho abasesebancane.​—KuThithusi 2:3.

¹² Kwezinye izindawo nxa umama angafa loba angatshiya imuli yakhe, kujayelekile ukuthi ubaba ahambise abantwana ezihlotsheni. Kodwa ubaba kumele ahlale ekhumbula ukuthi uNkulunkulu uphe yena umlandu wokondla abantwabakhe lanxa umkakhe esemtshiyile. Bonke abazali, kungelani lokuthi ngobaba kumbe ngomama, kumele baqinisekise abantwababo ukuthi bazabanakekela.​—Qathanisa lo-2 Khorinte 12:14.

UNGAYEKELI UKUBALAYA

13. Kuyini okungahlupha umama endabeni yokulaya abantwana?

¹³ Izikhathi ezinengi ubaba kakumhluphi ukutshaya umthetho lokujezisa abantwabakhe. Kodwa umama kungaba nzima ukuthi enze njalo. Omunye umama okhulisa abantwabakhe eyedwa wathi: “Amadodana ami asebhonga futhi asezinkalakatha zamadoda. Kuyake kube nzima ukuthi ngikubeke kucace engifuna ukukutsho futhi kwezinye izikhathi ngiyabe ngibesaba.” Nxa kuyikuthi ungumfelokazi, mhlawumbe usalilela umkakho. Nxa wachithekelwa ngumtshado, engxenye usazisola futhi usafuthelene. Kanti njalo kungenzeka lokuthi umthetho wathi lobabili lilelungelo lokunakekela abantwabenu. Mhlawumbe ungacina usesaba ukuthi bazakhetha ukuhlala laye kulokuhlala lawe. Zonke izinto lezi zingenza kube nzima ukuthi ubalaye kuhle abantwabakho.

14. Umzali owondla abantwabakhe eyedwa angabalaya njani?

¹⁴ IBhayibhili lithi “umntwana oyekelwayo uhlazisa unina.” (IZaga 29:15) Ngakho-ke nxa unika abantwabakho imithetho ungazisoli, ungazithonisisi njalo ungesabi ngoba uyabe usenza okufunwa nguJehova uNkulunkulu. (IZaga 1:8) Hlala ulandela izimiso zeBhayibhili. (IZaga 13:24) Zama ukuthi ungaqinisi isandla kakhulu, kodwa ungabatotozi futhi ungantshintshantshintshi okutshoyo. Ungenza njalo, bangacina belalela. Kanti njalo kumele uzame ukubazwisisa. Omunye ubaba wathi: “Besanda kufelwa ngunina kwakumele ngizame ukubazwisisa nxa ngibalaya ngenxa yokuthi babesadidekile. Lakhathesi ngihlala ngikhuluma labo. Nxa sipheka ukudla kwantambama, ingxoxo ziyabe zisitsha. Yiso isikhathi lapho abangitshela khona okusezinhliziyweni zabo.”

15. Kuyini okungamelanga kwenziwe ngumzali?

¹⁵ Nxa kuyikuthi wehlukana lomkakho, akuncedi ukuhlala ukhuluma kubi ngaye phambi kwabantwana. Abantwana bazwa ubuhlungu kakhulu nxa lixabana futhi bangacina bengasalihloniphi. Ungakhulumi amazwi ahlabayo anjengokuthi: “Ufuz’ uyihlo!” Umkakho engabe wakuzwisa ubuhlungu sibili, kodwa akuntshintshi ukuthi laye ungumzali womntanakho. Phela umntwana ufuna ukuthandwa, ukondliwa kanye lokulaywa ngabazali bakhe bobabili.b

16. Kuyini okumele kuhlale kusenziwa yimuli elomzali okhulisa abantwabakhe eyedwa?

¹⁶ Ezahlukweni ezidlulileyo sibonile ukuthi ukulaya kutsho ukuqeqetsha lokweluleka, hatshi ukujezisa kuphela. Nxa lisiba lohlelo lokufunda ngoJehova zikhathi zonke liyabe lizivikela ezingozini ezinengi. (KwabaseFiliphi 3:16) Kuqakathekile ukuthi lingalovi emihlanganweni yebandla. (KumaHebheru 10:24, 25) UKukhonza Kwemuli lakho kumele likwenze iviki ngayinye. Akulula sibili ukuthi lokhu likwenze zikhathi zonke. Omunye umama okhutheleyo wathi: “Nxa usutshayisile emsebenzini uyabe ufuna ukuziphumulela nje. Kodwa ngihle ngizitshele ukuthi kumele ngifunde lomntanami loba sekutheni ngoba ngiyakwazi ukuthi kuqakatheke kakhulu. Uyakholisa kakhulu nxa sifunda.”

17. Indlela uThimothi akhuliswa ngayo ingabafundisani abazali?

¹⁷ UThimothi wayesebenza lomphostoli uPhawuli futhi kukhanya angathi wafundiswa izimiso zeBhayibhili ngunina logogo wakhe, hatshi nguyise. Lanxa kunjalo, wakhula waba ngumKhristu omthanda kakhulu uNkulunkulu. (ImiSebenzi 16:1, 2; 2 KuThimothi 1:5; 3:14, 15) Labantwabakho bangaba njalo nxa ungazama ngamandla wonke ukubakhulisa “ngokufundisa langokulaya kweNkosi.”​—Kwabase-Efesu 6:4.

UKULWISANA LESIZUNGU

18, 19. (a) Kuyini okungenza ukuthi umzali okhulisa abantwana eyedwa abe lesizungu? (b) Yiwuphi umbhalo ongakunceda nxa uhlutshwa zinkanuko zenyama?

¹⁸ Omunye umama okhulisa abantwana eyedwa wathi: “Endlini ngifica kuthe zwi. Khona nxa abantwana sebelele isizungu siyangikhulela bakithi.” Nxa ukhulisa abantwana wedwa, ungabulawa yisizungu sibili. Phela lawe uyabe ufisa ukuba lomuntu okuthandayo njalo lemizwa yemacansini ingakukhathaza. Kodwa nxa lokhu kukuhlupha sekumele wenze loba yini na? Ngesikhathi umphostoli uPhawuli esaphila, abanye abafelokazi ababebancane babevumela ukuthi ‘izinkanuko zabo zomzimba zikhulele ukuzinikela kwabo kuKhristu.’ (1 KuThimothi 5:11, 12) Nxa uvumela ukuthi izifiso zenyama ziphambanise ubuhlobo bakho loNkulunkulu uyabe uzithezela olulenkume.​—1 KuThimothi 5:6.

¹⁹ Omunye ubaba ongumKhristu wathi: “Kunzima ukulwisana lemizwa yokuya emacansini, kodwa ungayinqoba. Nxa imicabango le ingafika engqondweni yakho akumelanga ubulokhu ucabanga ngayo. Kumele uyicitshe masinyane. Okunye okuncedayo yikucabanga ngokuthi umntanakho uzezwa njani.” ILizwi likaNkulunkulu lithi: ‘Kubulaleni konke okungokwemvelo yenu yasemhlabeni: inkanuko.’ (KwabaseKholose 3:5) Nxa ufuna ukubulala inkanuko yokufeba akumelanga ubukele izinto eziphathelane lezemacansini njalo akufanelanga ujayelane labantu abahlala bekhuluma ngazo.

20. (a) Kungani kuyingozi ukuthandana lomuntu ongamkhonziyo uNkulunkulu? (b) AmaKhristu endulo ayelwisana njani lesizungu, njalo awalamuhla wona enzani?

²⁰ Amanye amaKhristu acina esebona kungcono ukuthandana lomuntu ongamkhonziyo uNkulunkulu. (1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:39) Kodwa lokhu akuncedi. Omunye umama ongumKhristu owachithekelwa ngumtshado wakhe wathi: “Akulanto ebuhlungu njengokutshada lomuntu ongafanelanga. Ukuzihlalela wedwa kuze kube ngcono.” Akuthandabuzwa ukuthi ngekhulu lokuqala amanye amaKhristu ayengabafelokazi lawo ayeke abulawe yisizungu. Kodwa amanye ayehlakaniphile, ‘ephatha kuhle izihambi, egezisa izinyawo zabangcwele, esiza labahluphekayo.’ (1 KuThimothi 5:10) Lalamuhla amaKhristu athembekileyo aseleminyaka elindele ukuthola umuntu okhonzayo angatshada laye aqhubeka ephathisa abanye ngezinto ezitshiyeneyo. Omunye umfelokazi ongumKhristu oleminyaka engu-68 waqalisa ukuchitha isizungu ngokuvakatshela abanye abafelokazi. Wathi: “Ngabona ukuthi nxa ngivakatshela abanye bami, ngisenza imisebenzi yami yendlini kanye leyenkonzo, isizungu ngisizwela komakhelwana.” Ukufundisa abanye ngoMbuso kaNkulunkulu ngumsebenzi omuhle kakhulukazi.​—UMathewu 28:19, 20.

21. Ukuthandaza lokuzilibazisa labanye kungakunceda njani ukuthi ungakhulelwa yisizungu?

²¹ Lanxa kungelanto engasiqeda du isizungu, uJehova angakupha amandla okulwisana laso. Amandla la ungawathola nxa ‘ungaqhubeka ebusuku lemini ukhuleka ucela usizo kuNkulunkulu.’ (1 KuThimothi 5:5) Kuqakathekile sibili ukuthi ukhuleke uncenga, ucela usizo, mhlawumbe uze ukhale, ujuluke lezinyembezi. (Qathanisa loHebheru 5:7.) Ukutshela uJehova okusenhliziyweni yakho “ebusuku lemini” kungakunceda kakhulu. Okunye ongakwenza ukuze uchithe isizungu yikukwejisa labanye abangakuvuselela. Nxa ungazilibazisa labantu abalungileyo, bangakukhuthaza ‘ngelizwi elilomusa’ okukhulunywa ngalo kuZaga 12:25.

22. Ungenzani nxa isizungu silokhu sikubulala?

²² Isizungu singaqhubeka sikukhathaza. Kodwa khumbula ukuthi phakathi ‘kwabazalwane bethu emhlabeni wonke,’ akula ongathi kalandubo. (1 UPhetro 5:9) Phela akulamuzi ongathunqi intuthu. Kanti njalo ungahlali ucabanga ngokuthi kudala impilo yayinjani. (UmTshumayeli 7:10) Cabanga ngezinto ezinhle ozikholisayo empilweni yakho khathesi. Okuqakatheke kakhulu yikuzimisela ukuhlala uthembekile, uthokozise uJehova.​—IZaga 27:11.

ABANYE BANGANCEDISA NJANI?

23. AmaKhristu alomlandu wani?

²³ Kuqakathekile ukuthi amaKhristu akhuthazane futhi ancedisane. UJakhobe 1:27 uthi: “Ukukholwa okwamukelwa nguNkulunkulu uBaba okuhlambulukileyo njalo kungelasici yilokhu: ukugcina izintandane labafelokazi ekuhluphekeni kwabo.” Siyabona-ke ukuthi amaKhristu alomlandu wokuncedisa umzali okhulisa abantwana eyedwa. Manje angamphathisa njani?

24. Izimuli ezilomzali oyedwa zingancediswa njani?

²⁴ Abazalwane bangaphathisa imuli elomzali oyedwa ngokuyinika okokuziphilisa. IBhayibhili lithi: “Uma umuntu enothile abone umzalwane wakhe oswelayo kodwa angabi lesihawu kuye, uthando lukaNkulunkulu lungaba kuye kanjani na?” (1 UJohane 3:17) Ibala lesiGiriki elasetshenziswa lapha elithi “abone” kalitsho ukuthi jeqe nje kuphela, kodwa litsho ukukhangelisisa ulenhloso yokunanzelela okuthile. Lokhu kutshengisa ukuthi umKhristu olomusa angaqala ngokudingisisa ukuthi izinto zimi njani emulini ethile kanye lokuthi kuyini ekuswelayo. Mhlawumbe bayabe bekhathazwa yikuswela imali. Abanye bangafuna ukulungiselwa ezinye izinto endlini. Kanti njalo abanye bangathaba nxa lingabanxusa ukuthi lizokudla ndawonye kumbe lizokwejisa.

25. AmaKhristu angenzani ukuze abe lesihawu ezimulini ezilomzali oyedwa?

²⁵ U-1 Phetro 3:8 uthi: “Lonke hlalisanani ngokuthula; wobani lozwelo, lithandane njengabazalwane, libe lesihawu.” Omunye umama okhulisa abantwabakhe eyedwa wathi: “Kunzima bakithi, kwezinye izikhathi ngisala ngidinwe ngifile. Kodwa ngiyathi ngisalibele ngizwe udade kumbe umfowethu esesithi kimi: ‘Joan, uyazi wenza umsebenzi omuhle njani. Kuzalunga, thula ubone.’ Kuyaduduza ukwazi ukuthi abantu bayakucabanga njalo balendaba lawe.” Abesifazana asebekhulile abangamaKhristu yibo abangabanceda ngcono abesifazana abalabantwana nxa belezinhlupho okunzima ukuzixoxa lomuntu wesilisa.

26. Amadoda angamaKhristu angabasiza njani abantwana abafelwa ngoyise?

²⁶ Lamadoda angamaKhristu angaphathisa. UJobe indoda eyayilungile wathi: “Ngalamulela . . . lezintandane ezazingelamuntu wokuzisiza.” (UJobe 29:12) Amanye amadoda lawo enza njengaye. Ayabakhathalela abantwana abafelwa ngoyise njalo atshengisa ukuthi ‘alothando oluvela enhliziyweni emhlophe.’ (1 KuThimothi 1:5) Kodwa lokhu kawakwenzeli ukuthola okuthile. Lanxa kufanele angazikhohlwa izimuli zawo, angakhetha ukuthi ake ahambe labantwana laba ekutshumayeleni, ababize ekukhonzeni kwemuli loba ayezilibazisa labo. Ukuphatha kuhle abantwana abangela boyise kungabasiza ukuthi bangaphambuki.

27. Kuyini okumele umzali okhulisa abantwana eyedwa ahlale ekwazi?

²⁷ Lanxa abanye bengamncedisa, umzali okhulisa abantwana eyedwa kuzamele ‘athwale umthwalo wakhe.’ (KwabaseGalathiya 6:5) Kodwa kumele ahlale ekwazi ukuthi uJehova kanye labafowabo labodadewabo abangamaKhristu bayamthanda kakhulu. IBhayibhili lithi uNkulunkulu ‘usekela izintandane labafelokazi.’ (IHubo 146:9) Nxa ukhulisa abantwabakho uwedwa, ungaphumelela sibili ngoba uJehova kasoze akutshiye.