Bancediseni Abasakhulayo

1, 2. Kuyini okungenza abazali abalomntwana osakhulayo bathokoze, kodwa yibuphi ubunzima obungabakhona?

ABANTWANA asebeleminyaka engu-13 kusiya kwengu-19 kabafanani ngitsho labaleminyaka engu-5 kumbe engu-10. Nxa abantwana sebekhula, ngekhaya kuba lezinhlupho lobunzima. Kodwa kukhona elingakukholisa. UJosefa, loDavida, loJosiya kanye loThimothi ngabanye abatsha ababeziphethe kuhle njalo ababelobuhlobo obuhle loJehova. (UGenesisi 37:2-11; 1 USamuyeli 16:11-13; 2 AmaKhosi 22:3-7; ImiSebenzi 16:1, 2) Lokhu kutshengisa ukuthi abasakhulayo bangenelisa ukuziphatha kuhle futhi bakhona abenza njalo lamuhla. Mhlawumbe abanye babo uyabazi.

² Kodwa abanye bayabe bengasabambeki. Umuntu osakhulayo angantshintsha samumo womkhathi, umbone ethabile, qaqabu umbone esezondile. Abanye abasakhulayo bayabe sebefuna ukuzenzela umathanda, bengasafuni ukutshelwa okokwenza ngabazali babo. Lanxa kunjalo, abazali kufanele babelothando lesineke ngoba abasakhulayo bayabe besayifunda impilo. Kumnandi sibili ukuba lomntwana osakhulayo kodwa kungalitshayisa ngekhanda. Labasakhulayo bangasikholisa isikhathi sokukhula kumbe bathwale nzima. Pho bangancediswa njani?

3. Abazali bangenzani ukuze basize abantwababo ukuthi babe lempilo enhle?

³ Abazali abalandela okutshiwo liBhayibhili bangabasiza abantwababo ukuthi bakhule kuhle kungelani lokuthi bahlangana lezilingo. Kusukela kudala abazali kanye labasakhulayo abasebenzisa izimiso eziseBhayibhilini bebelokhu bephumelela kungelani lokuthi bahlala ngaphi.—IHubo 119:1.

TSHELANANI IQINISO NJALO LINGASISWELI ISIKHATHI SOKUXOXA

4. Kungani kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuthi abasakhulayo belulekwe?

⁴ IBhayibhili lithi: “Amaqhinga ayehluleka uma kungelazeluleko.” (IZaga 15:22) Kuqakathekile ukuthi nxa umntwana esesemncane elulekwe. Kodwa nxa eseleminyaka engu-13 kusiya kwengu-19 kuyabe sekuqakatheke kakhulu. Phela kungenzeka ukuthi uyabe engasatholatholakali ngekhaya, esetshona lafunda labo esikolo kumbe labanye abantu nje. Abasakhulayo bangacina sebengathi ngabantu bemzini ngekhaya nxa kuyikuthi bona labazali babo bayafihlelana izinto njalo kabatshelani iqiniso. Manje abazali labasakhulayo bangenzani ukuze bahlale bexoxa?

5. Abasakhulayo kumele bayibone njani indaba yokuxoxa labazali babo?

⁵ Abazali kanye labantwana abasakhulayo kufanele baphathisane. Kungenzakala sibili ukuthi abasakhulayo bakubone sekulukhunyana ukuxoxa labazali babo ukwedlula ngesikhathi besesebancane. Lanxa kunjalo, akumelanga bakhohlwe ukuthi “isizwe esingelabukhokheli obuqondileyo siyachitheka, kodwa aluba bebanengi abeluleki siyanqoba.” (IZaga 11:14) Amazwi la ayasebenza ebantwini abadala lakwabasakhulayo. Yikho-ke abasakhulayo kumele bazwisise ukuthi kufanele baqhubeke bekhokhelwa njengoba behlangana lezinto ezinzima kulalezo ababehlangana lazo besesebancane. Kufanele bavume lokuthi abazali abakhonza uJehova ngabeluleki abalolwazi ngoba sebebone okunengi empilweni futhi bebelokhu bebathanda kusukela bebancane. Ngakho-ke abasakhulayo abahlakaniphileyo bayaqhubeka belalela abazali babo.

6. Abazali abalothando kumele benzeni ukuze abantwababo bakhululeke ukuxoxa labo?

⁶ Nxa emulini yenu likhululekile ukuxoxa, umzali uzazama ukuhlala phansi alalelisise nxa umntanakhe osakhulayo efuna ukuthi bahlafune udaba oluthile. Lanxa umntwana engakhululekanga ukuxoxa, umzali kufanele akwenze kucace ukuthi yena uyafuna ukukhuluma laye. Kodwa lokhu kungaba nzima. IBhayibhili lithi ‘kulesikhathi sokuthula lesikhathi sokukhuluma.’ (UmTshumayeli 3:7) Mhlawumbe ngesikhathi umntanakho efuna lixoxe, kuwe kuyabe kuyisikhathi sokuthi uthule. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubufuna ukuphumula, ukwenza imisebenzi yakho yangekhaya kumbe ukubala iBhayibhili uwedwa. Loba kunjalo, nxa yena efuna ukuthi lixoxe, zama ukutshiya lokho okwenzayo umuphe indlebe. Phela angacina esekhalala. Okungcono yikuthi ulingisele uJesu. Ngelinye ilanga efuna ukuthi ake atshaywe ngumoya, wabona esebuthanelwe ngabantu ababefuna abafundise. Kulokuthi ame ngelokuthi yena wayefuna ukuphumula, waqalisa ukubafundisa. (UMakho 6:30-34) Abasakhulayo abanengi bayakunanzelela ukuthi abazali babo bahlala bebambekile, kodwa abazali kumele batshengise ukuthi bakhululekile ukubamukela loba nini nxa befuna ukuxoxa. Yikho-ke kufanele umzali asidinge isikhathi sokuxoxa futhi azwisise.

7. Kuyini okungamelanga abazali bakwenze?

⁷ Khumbula ukuthi kuyini wena owawukuthanda usakhula njalo woba lesikhathi sokuhleka labantwabakho. Akumelanga wena lomkakho lihlale libophe ubuso. Nxa lilesikhathi sokuphumula, lijayele ukwenzani? Nxa lijayele ukuzilibazisa lilodwa, abantwabenu bazakunanzelela lokhu. Kunengi okungonakala nxa abantwana sebebona angathi abangane babo besikolo bayabalalela ukwedlula abazali babo.

LINGAXOXA NGANI?

8. Kuyini abazali abangakwenza ukuze bancede abantwababo ukuthi bathembeke, bakhuthale njalo baziphathe kuhle?

⁸ Nxa abantwabenu sebedlulise iminyaka engu-12 lingakabafundisi ukuthi kuqakathekile ukuthi bathembeke futhi bakhuthale, kuyabe sekumele lihle liqalise ukubafundisa bengakabi ngabantu abadala. (1 KwabaseThesalonika 4:11; 2 KwabaseThesalonika 3:10) Kanti njalo kufanele libe leqiniso lokuthi abantwabenu kabathandabuzi ukuthi kuqakathekile ukuziphatha kuhle. (IZaga 20:11) Kodwa umntwana ukufunda ngcono lokhu nxa ebona umzali ekwenza. Amadoda angakhonziyo ‘angahugwa yikuziphatha kwabomkabo kungekho kukhuluma.’ (1 UPhetro 3:1) Labasakhulayo bangazifunda izimiso zikaNkulunkulu nxa bebona indlela abazali abaziphatha ngayo. Kodwa lokhu akwenelanga ngoba zinengi izinto ezimbi abantwana abazibonayo labazizwayo ngesikhathi bengekho ngekhaya. Ngakho-ke abazali abalothando kumele bazame ukwazi ukuthi abantwababo bathini ngabakubonayo labakuzwayo. Kuqakathekile-ke ukuthi baxoxe labo kuhle.​—IZaga 20:5.

9, 10. Kungani kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuthi abazali bafundise abantwababo ngezemacansini, njalo bangabafundisa njani?

⁹ Kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuthi abazali baxoxe labantwababo ngezemacansini. Wena kuyakuyangisa yini ukuxoxa lomntanakho ngezemacansini? Lanxa kungabe kukuthelela inhloni, kumele ukuzame ngoba bakhona abazacina sebekufundisela abantwabakho. Nxa wena ungasabafundisanga, bangacina sebefundiswa izinto ezingayisizo. EBhayibhilini kuyacaca ukuthi uJehova akumyangisi ukuxoxa ngezemacansini. Lani bazali akumelanga kuliyangise.​—IZaga 4:1-4; 5:1-21.

¹⁰ Okuhle yikuthi iBhayibhili liyacacisa ukuthi kufanele siziphathe njani. OFakazi bakaJehova balamabhuku amanengi atshengisa ukuthi okutshiwo liBhayibhili kulokhu kusasebenza lalamuhla. Kungaba kuhle ukuthi lawe uwafunde. Ngokwesibonelo, wena lomntanakho lingakhetha isihloko esimumethe lokho elifuna ukuxoxa ngakho ebhukwini elithi Intsha Iyabuza—Izimpendulo Ezisebenzayo, uMqulu 1 lo-2. Elizakuthola lapho kungalinceda kakhulu.

11. Yiphi indlela engcono kulazo zonke yokufundisa abantwabakho ukukhonza uJehova?

¹¹ Yiphi indaba eqakatheke kulazo zonke okumele abazali bahlale beyihlafuna labantwababo? Umphostoli uPhawuli wakhuluma ngayo aze abhale athi: “Bondleni [abantwabenu] ngokufundisa langokulaya kweNkosi.” (Kwabase-Efesu 6:4) Abantwana kumele baqhubeke befunda ngoJehova. Bancedise ukuthi bamthande njalo babe lesifiso sokumkhonza. Lalapha futhi kulula ukuthi bakulingisele kulokuthi bakulalele nje. Nxa osakhulayo angabona ukuthi abazali bakhe bathanda uNkulunkulu ‘ngenhliziyo yabo yonke, langomphefumulo wabo wonke langengqondo yabo yonke’ lokuthi lokhu kubenza babe ngabantu abangcono, kuzakuba lula ukuthi abalingisele. (UMathewu 22:37) Kanti njalo osakhulayo uzaqakathekisa uMbuso kaNkulunkulu nxa angabona ukuthi abazali bakhe labo bayawuqakathekisa ukwedlula zonke izinto futhi kabagijimisani lenotho.​—UmTshumayeli 7:12; UMathewu 6:31-33.

12, 13. Kuyini okumele lihlale likukhumbula ukuze ukukhonza kwemuli yenu kulisize?

¹² Ukufunda iBhayibhili liyimuli maviki wonke kungalisiza kakhulu ukuthi lifundise abantwabenu ngoJehova langemithetho yakhe. (IHubo 119:33, 34; IZaga 4:20-23) Kuqakathekile ukuthi lokhu likwenze maviki wonke. (IHubo 1:1-3) Abazali labantwana kumele babe leqiniso lokuthi akulanto ephambanisa ukukhonza kwemuli loba sekutheni. Kanti njalo kumele bakuthande ukukhonza kwemuli ukuze kubancede. Omunye ubaba wathi: “Okuqakatheke kakhulu yikuthi okhokhelayo esifundweni enze abanye bakhululeke njalo bakuhloniphe ukukhonza kwemuli, kungabi angathi kusekilasini futhi kungabi angathi ngamadlwane. Lokhu akulula njalo abantwana kuzamele bahlale bekhunjuzwa ukuthi kufanele baziphathe njani esifundweni. Lanxa lingehluleka kanye kumbe kabili, ungakhalali, qhubeka uzama.” Ubaba lo waqhubeka wathi sonke isikhathi nxa eqalisa isifundo uyakhuleka kuJehova ecela ukuthi bonke emulini basiqakathekise.​—IHubo 119:66.

¹³ Abazali abangamaKhristu kumele bakhokhele ekukhonzeni kwemuli. Abanye abazali kuyabasinda ukufundisa njalo kungaba nzima ukuthi basize abantwababo ukuthi basikholise isifundo. Kodwa nxa ubathanda abantwabakho “ngezenzo langeqiniso,” awusoze uyekele ukubancedisa lanxa kunzima njalo uzakuba ledlabuzane lokubasiza ukuthi bamthande kakhulu uNkulunkulu. (1 UJohane 3:18) Bangakhalakhala lapha lalaphaya kodwa bazakubona ukuthi ubathanda ngenhliziyo yonke.

14. Abazali bangamsebenzisa njani uDutheronomi 11:18, 19 ukuze bafundise abantwababo ukuthi bathande uNkulunkulu?

¹⁴ Kayisikho ukuthi sekumele lifunde ngoNkulunkulu ekukhonzeni kwemuli kuphela. Uyakhumbula ukuthi uJehova wabalaya wathini abazali? Wathi: “Gcinani amazwi ami la ezinhliziyweni zenu lasengqondweni, abopheleni njengezimpawu ezandleni zenu liwabophele emabunzini enu. Bafundiseni ngawo abantwabenu, lixoxe ngawo nxa lihlezi emakhaya enu kanye lalapho lihamba endleleni, lapho lilala phansi lanxa livuka.” (UDutheronomi 11:18, 19; qathanisa loDutheronomi 6:6, 7) Lokhu kakutsho ukuthi usuzabatshumayeza liphuma lize liyetshona. Kodwa kutsho ukuthi nxa ubathanda abantwabakho uzahlala ucinga amathuba okubasiza ukuthi bathande uNkulunkulu.

KUQAKATHEKILE UKULAYA OSAKHULAYO

15, 16. (a) Ukulaya yikwenzani? (b) Ngubani olomlandu wokulaya, njalo ngubani okufanele alalele?

¹⁵ Ukulaya yikuqeqetsha umuntu uzama ukumqondisa njalo lokhu ungakwenza ngesikhathi lixoxa. Kodwa akutsho ukuthi zikhathi zonke nxa ulaya umuntu sekufanele umjezise. Izikhathi ezinengi uyabe uzama ukumbumba ukuthi abe ngumuntu ongcono. Lanxa isikhumba sigoqwa sisesemanzi, abantwabakho kufanele uqhubeke ubalaya kungelani lokuthi sebeleminyaka engu-13 kusiya ku-19. Abasakhulayo abakhaliphileyo bayakwazi ukuthi kumele baqondiswe.

¹⁶ IBhayibhili lithi: “Isiwula siyakulahla ukulaya kukayise, kodwa owemukela ukuqondiswa uveza ukuhlakanipha.” (IZaga 15:5) Ivesi le isifundisa okunengi. Iveza ukuthi osakhulayo kumele alaywe ngoba phela ukuze ‘amukele ukuqondiswa’ uyabe eqale walaywa. Iveza lokuthi uJehova wapha abazali umlandu wokulaya abantwana, ikakhulu obaba. Kodwa kuyabe sekukuye osakhulayo ukuthi alalele. Nxa angavuma ukwelulekwa nguyise lonina, kunengi azakufunda futhi kasoze enze amaphutha amanengi. (IZaga 1:8) IBhayibhili lithi: “Ongananzi ukuqondiswa wehlelwa yibuyanga lehlazo, kodwa onanza ukukhuzwa uyadunyiswa.”​—IZaga 13:18.

17. Abazali kumele babalaye njani abantwababo?

¹⁷ Nxa abazali belaya abantwababo kulokunye okumele bakunanzelele. Akumelanga baqinise isandla abantwana baze bathukuthele loba baze bacine sebezibona bengasibantu balutho. (KwabaseKholose 3:21) Loba kunjalo, abazali akufanelanga babayekelele sangubo idabuka ngoba lokhu kungabafaka emanyaleni abasakhulayo. Kuqakathekile ukuthi baqeqetshwe. KuZaga 29:17 kuthiwa: “Qondisa indodana yakho, izakupha ukuthula; izaletha injabulo emphefumulweni wakho.” Kodwa ivesi 21 yona ithi: “Aluba umuntu etotoza inceku yakhe isakhula, leyonceku izamthwalisa nzima ekucineni.” Lanxa ivesi le ikhuluma ngenceku, iyasebenza lasebantwaneni.

18. Nxa abazali belaya umntanabo bayabe betshengisani, njalo kuyini okungamelanga bakwenze?

¹⁸ Abazali abalaya umntanabo bayabe betshengisa ukuthi bayamthanda. (KumaHebheru 12:6, 11) Abanengi bayakwazi ukuthi kwezinye izikhathi akulula ukumlaya kuhle umntwana. Kungakhanya angathi kungcono ukuyekela osakhulayo azenzele umathanda kulokuthi ngekhaya kuvuke ingxabano. Kodwa umzali okwenzayo lokhu uzakuzwa ubuhlungu abantwabakhe sebezinkomo zamahlanga.​—IZaga 29:15; KwabaseGalathiya 6:9.

ISIKHATHI SOKUSEBENZA LESIKHATHI SOKUDLALA

19, 20. Abazali bangabasiza njani abasakhulayo ukuthi bakhethe kuhle ezokuzilibazisa?

¹⁹ Ekadeni abantwana babejayele ukuncedisa abazali babo ngemisebenzi yangekhaya kumbe emasimini. Kodwa lezinsuku abasakhulayo sebelesikhathi esinengi sokwenza abakufunayo. Izinto abangazilibazisa ngazo seziyithaphutshiye njalo abantu bomhlaba lo kabalandaba lokuthi iBhayibhili lithi siziphathe njani. Lokhu kwenza ukuthi abasakhulayo babe sengozini enkulu kakhulu.

²⁰ Yikho-ke umzali ohlakaniphileyo kayekeli abantwabakhe bezilibazisa ngaloba kuyini abakufunayo. Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi umntanakho laye uyakhula. Nxa elokhu ekhula kumele ukuthi uyabe esekhangelele ukuthi aphathwe njengomuntu omdala. Yikho-ke kuhle ukuthi nxa ekhula umyekele laye azikhethele nxa kuyikuthi izinqumo azenzayo zitshengisa ukuthi uyabuqakathekisa ubuhlobo bakhe loNkulunkulu. Ngezinye izikhathi abasakhulayo bangakhetha abangane abangalunganga, izingoma ezingaqondanga kanye lokunye nje okunxele. Nxa bangenza njalo, kumele likhulume labo ukuze benze izinqumo ezingcono ngesikhathi esizayo.

21. Kungamsiza ngani umntwana ukuthi angatshoneli ukuzilibazisa?

²¹ Kumele umuntu azilibazise okwesikhathi esinganani? Kwamanye amazwe abasakhulayo bacabanga ukuthi kuqondile ukuthi batshonele ukuzilibazisa. Akungamangalisi ukuthi uthole bezimisele ukuzilibazisa ilanga liphuma lize liyetshona. Kodwa umzali nguye okumele afundise umntanakhe ukuthi kufanele abe lesikhathi sokuxoxa labanye ngekhaya, esokufunda iBhayibhili eyedwa, esokukwejisa labazalwane abathanda uJehova, esokuba khona emihlanganweni yamaKhristu kanye lesokusebenza ngekhaya. Lokhu kuzakwenza ukuthi ‘ezikholisisayo’ zingaliminyanisi iLizwi likaNkulunkulu.​—ULukha 8:11-15.

22. Kuyini okunye okumele abasakhulayo bakufunde empilweni?

²² INkosi uSolomoni yathi: “Ngiyakwazi ukuthi kakukho okungcono ebantwini kulokuthi bajabule njalo benze okuhle besaphila. Ukuthi wonke umuntu adle, anathe azuze ukusuthiseka ekusebenzeni gadalala kwakhe—lokhu kuyisipho sikaNkulunkulu.” (UmTshumayeli 3:12, 13) Empilweni kumele sike sijabule ngezinye izikhathi. Kodwa ukusebenza gadalala lakho kuqakathekile. Abasakhulayo abanengi lamuhla bayawuvilaphela umsebenzi yikho bengakuzuzi ukusuthiseka njalo kabakwazi ukuthi kumnandi njani ukulungisa udaba obeluhlupha. Abanye kabafundiswa lemisebenzi ezabenza baziphilise nxa sebekhulile. Bazali, kumele likunanzelele lokhu. Uzamsiza yini owakho umntwana ukuthi akwazi ukusebenza ngezakhe izandla? Nxa ungamncedisa ukuthi akuthande ukusebenza gadalala, uzakhula ekwazi ukuthi ukusebenza kuqakathekile njalo kuzamnceda okwempilo yakhe yonke.

OBABA LABOMAMA BAKUSASA

23. Abazali bangabakhuthaza njani abantwababo?

²³ Lanxa lihluphana labantwabakho abasakhulayo, kumele uhlale ukhumbula ukuthi iBhayibhili lithi “uthando kalupheli.” (1 KwabaseKhorinte 13:8) Hlala ubatshela ukuthi uyabathanda. Zibuze imibuzo le, ‘Ngiyabancoma yini bonke abantwabami nxa banganqoba izilingo kumbe baxakulule udaba obeluhlupha? Nxa kulezinto abazenza kuhle uyababonga yini ukuze baqhubeke besenza kuhle?’ Kwezinye izikhathi ungaxabana labo sibili, kodwa nxa bebona ukuthi uyabathanda labo bazaqhubeka bekuthanda.

24. Kuyini okumele abazali bahlale bekukhumbula, njalo yiwaphi amazwi aseBhayibhilini ajayele ukugcwaliseka?

²⁴ Iqiniso esingeke silibalekele ngelokuthi abantwana bazakhula bazenzele izinqumo eziqakathekileyo empilweni. Kwezinye izikhathi lezo zinqumo zingabadanisa abazali. Bathini pho nxa umntwana esekhethe ukuthi kasafuni ukukhonza uJehova uNkulunkulu? Phela lokhu kungenzakala. Lamadodana kaJehova ayeyizingilosi awazange amlalele njalo amhlamukela. (UGenesisi 6:2; UJuda 6) Abantwana kabafanani lamakhompiyutha ayenza lokho okufunwa ngumnikazi sonke isikhathi. Bona balenkululeko yokuzikhethela ukuthi bafuna ukwenzani njalo bazaziphendulela kuJehova. Kodwa amazwi akuZaga 22:6 ajayele ukugcwaliseka. Athi: “Fundisa umntwana indlela amele ahambe ngayo, kuzakuthi esemdala kayikuphambuka kuyo.”

25. Nxa ulabantwana, yiphi indlela engcono kulazo zonke ongambonga ngayo uJehova?

²⁵ Yikho-ke kwenze kucace ebantwaneni bakho ukuthi uyabathanda kakhulu. Zama ngamandla akho onke ukuthi ubakhulise usebenzisa izimiso eziseBhayibhilini. Kabakubonele kuwe ukuthi kutshoni ukuphila ngendlela ethokozisa uNkulunkulu. Ungenza njalo, kuzakuba lula ukuthi abantwabakho bakhule belomthetho futhi bemesaba uNkulunkulu. Le yindlela engcono kulazo zonke ongambonga ngayo uJehova ngokuthi wakupha abantwana.