Tau Kei ke Fiafia e Magafaoa
Tutala ke he Fanau Haau ke he Mahani Fakataane mo e Fifine
Alicia,a ko e fuata mui, ne pehē: “Falu magaaho ne fia iloa au hagaao ke he taha mena tuga e mahani fakataane mo e fifine, ka e logona hifo e au ka hūhū au ke he tau matua haaku, to manatu a laua kua fai mena kelea au kua taute.”
Inez, ko e matua fifine ha Alicia, ne pehē: “To manako au ke nofo hifo ke tutala mo e tama fifine haaku hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, ka e lavelave lahi a ia mo e moui ni haana. Uka ke moua e magaaho ke tutala.”
KUA tupu holofa e mahani fakataane mo e fifine he vahā nei—he televisoni, he tau kifaga, ti kitia lahi ke he tau fakatātāaga. Ti tuga ko e matakavi ne fakatapu agaia e matakupu nei ko e vahāloto he fakatutalaaga he tau matua mo e fanau. “Manako au ke iloa he tau matua ko e mena maimainā mo e fakamā lahi ke tutala ki a laua hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine,” he talahau he fuata mui i Kanatā ne higoa ko Michael. “Kua mukamuka lahi ke tutala ke he kapitiga.”
Fa mahani, kua fakauaua foki e tau mamatua tuga e tau fanau ha lautolu ke kamata ke tutala ke he matakupu. He tohi haana Beyond the Big Talk, ko e tagata fakaako malolō tino ko Debra W. Haffner ne pehē: “Tokologa e matua ne tala mai ki a au, ne fakatau e lautolu ma e tau tama ha lautolu e tohi ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine po ke fuata mui, ti toka i loto he poko he tama, mo e nakai liu fakatutala ki ai.” Ne talahau e Haffner kua maaliali e fekau ke he fanau: “Manako a mautolu ke iloa e koe e tino haau mo e hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine; ka e nakai manako a mautolu ke tutala hagaao ki ai.”
Kaeke ko e matua a koe, lata ia koe ke kehe e onoonoaga. Mooli, kua aoga lahi ia koe ni ke tutala ke he fanau haau hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine. Kitekite ke he tolu e kakano:
Ko e onoonoaga ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine kua hiki tuai. “Nakai fai fakamaamaaga mafiti ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine—kua momohe e taane mo e hoana,” he talahau e James ne 20 e tau he moui. “Mogonei, ha ha i ai e mahani fakataane mo e fifine ke he puhala halagutu, fakasotoma, cybersex—mo e puhala he telefoni ko e sexting.”
To liga fehagai e fanau haau mo e tau tala hehē mai he vahā tote. “To logona e lautolu e tau tala ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine he kamata a lautolu ke o he aoga,” he talahau he matua fifine ne higoa ko Sheila, “to nakai moua e lautolu e manatu ne manako a koe ke iloa e lautolu.”
Kua fai hūhū e fanau haau hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine ka e to nakai tutala ki a koe. “Mooli, nakai iloa e au e puhala ke kamata e fakatutalaaga mo e tau matua haaku hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine,” he talahau e Ana ne 15 e tau he moui mai i Parasili.
Ko e tutala mo e fanau haau mogoia hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine ko e vala he matagahua faka-Atua haau ko e matua. (Efeso 6:4) Mooli, to liga halauka ki a mua mo lautolu foki. Ka e he faahi mitaki, tokologa e fuata kua tatai mo Danielle ne 14 e tau he moui, ne pehē, “Manako a mautolu ke iloa hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine mai he tau matua ha mautolu—nakai mai he tau faiaoga po ke tau fakaholoaga televisoni.” Maeke fēfē mogoia ia koe ke tutala ke he fanau haau hagaao ke he matakupu aoga lahi nei pete kua halauka?b
Fakatatau ke he Tau Tau Moui ha Lautolu
He nakai nonofo a lautolu ko lautolu ni, kua kamata e fanau ke logona e tau tala hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine he vahā ikiiki. Ka e mua atu e tupetupe he “tau aho fakamui” nei, ha ko e tau tagata mahani kelea kua ‘tolomaki atu ke au atu he kelea.’ (2 Timoteo 3:1, 13) Momoko ai, tokologa e fanau kua ekefakakelea he tau tagata lalahi ke he tau puhala fakalialia he mahani fakataane mo e fifine.
Ko e mena ia kua aoga lahi ia koe ke kamata ke fakaako e fanau haau he ikiiki agaia a lautolu. “Ka fakatali a koe ke teitei fuata mui a lautolu,” he talahau he matua fifine i Sihamani ne higoa ko Renate, “liga to nakai manako a lautolu ke tutala fakalaulahi ha ko e tau aga he vahā fuata mui.” Ko e kī ke tala age ke he fanau e tau vala tala kua latatonu mo e tau tau momoui ha lautolu.
Ma e tau tama nakaila o aoga:
Lali ke fakaako e tau matahigoa mooli he tau faahi tino he mouiaga, ti peehi kua nakai lata ha tagata ke aamo e tau faahi tino nei. “Ne kamata au ke fakaako e tama taane haaku he tolu e tau he moui,” he talahau he matua fifine i Mesikō ne higoa ko Julia. “He iloa na maeke he tau faiaoga, tau tagata leveki tama, po ke fanau lalahi ke fakamamahi a ia kua fakatupetupe lahi mahaki ki a au. Lata ia ia ke iloa e puhala ke puipui ne ia a ia mai he tau tagata kehe.”
LALI PEHĒ: Fakamahani e tama haau ke vagahau fakamalolō ka lali taha ke fotafota e tau faahi tino he mouiaga haana. Ma e fakatai, liga fakaako e koe e tama haau ke pehē: “Oti e mena ia! To tala age e au a koe!” Fakamafana ke he tama haau kua latatonu ke talahau tumau e mena ne tupu—pete ni ka mavehe e tagata ke atu e tau mena fakaalofa po ke fakamatakutaku.c
Ma e tau tama he aoga he fanau ikiiki:
Fakaaoga e tau tau nei ke lafi fakahaga e iloilo ke he tama haau. “Fāfā fakamua to tutala,” he talahau he matua taane ko Peter. “Mailoga e mena kua fitā he iloa e lautolu po ke manako nakai a lautolu ke iloa atu foki. Ua omoi e fakatutalaaga. Liga to holo mitaki kaeke ke fai magaaho tumau a koe mo e fanau haau.”
LALI PEHĒ: Fakatutala fakakū tumau ka e ua taha e fakatutalaaga ne ‘loa e tala.’ (Teutaronome 6:6-9) Puhala nei to nakai tapoohi e koe e fanau haau. Mua atu, ka lalahi hake a lautolu, to moua e lautolu e tau vala tala kua lata ma e tuaga tagata lahi ha lautolu.
Ma e tau fuata mui:
Magaaho anei ke iloa mooli kua lahi e lotomatala he tama haau hagaao ke he puhala fakatino, manamanatuaga, mo e tau aga he mahani fakataane mo e fifine. “Ko e tau tama taane mo e tau tama fifine he aoga haaku kua fitā a lautolu he femomoheaki,” he talahau e Ana ne 15 e tau he moui, ne totoku fakamua. “Ha ko e Kerisiano, manatu au kua lata au ke lahi e iloaaga hagaao ke he matakupu ia. Pete ko e mena fakamā ke fakatutala hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, kua latatonu ni au ke iloa.”d
Ko e hatakiaga: Liga nakai manako e tau fuata mui ke hūhū e tau hūhū neke tuahā e tau matua ha lautolu po kua fai mena kelea ne taute e lautolu. Ko e mena ia ne mailoga he taha matua taane ne higoa ko Steven. “Ne fakauaua e tama taane ha maua ke tutala hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine,” he talahau e ia. “Ka e iloa e maua fakamui ne logona hifo e ia kua tuahā a maua ke he mahani haana. Ne fakamaama age e maua kua nakai fakatutala a maua ke he tau matakupu nei ha kua tuahā a maua ki a ia; kua manako a maua ke iloa mooli kua mautali a ia ke fehagai mo e tau fakaohoohoaga kelea ne agaagai ia ia.”
LALI PEHĒ: He nakai fakataupā aki e tau hūhū tonu e fuata hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, hūhū ko e onoono fēfē e tau kapitiga he vahega ke he mena nei. Ma e fakatai, liga pehē a koe: “Tokologa he vahā nei ne manatu ko e mahani fakataane mo e fifine halagutu, nakai ko e mahani fakataane mo e fifine a ia. Pihia kia e manatu he tau kapitiga aoga haau?” Ko e tau hūhū halahū pihia ka liga maeke ke hafagi e tama fuata ke fakakite e tau manatu haana.
Kautū Mai he Halauka
Mooli, ke tutala ke he fanau haau ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine ko e taha mena halauka ka fehagai mo koe. Ka e aoga lahi e laliaga haau. “Fai magaaho,” he talahau he matua fifine ko Diane, “to galo fakahaga e uka lahi, ti ka tutala mo e tama haau ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine to eke mo pipiaga ha mua.” Talia e Steven ne totoku fakamua. “To mukamuka fakahaga ke tutala ke he tau matakupu halauka tuga e mahani fakataane mo e fifine ka fakatū e koe e fakaholoaga ke tutala ke he ha matakupu ka lauia e magafaoa,” he talahau e ia, lafi atu: “To nakai galo katoatoa e halauka, ka ko e fakatutalaaga ko e hala toto moui he magafaoa Kerisiano malolō.”
a Tau higoa he vala tala nei kua hiki.
b To latatonu e vala tala nei mo e fakatutalaaga ke he fanau haau ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine. Ko e vala tala i mua he fufuta nei to fakatutala e puhala ke fakailoa e aoga he tau mahani ia.
c Matutaki e manatu mai he Learn From the Great Teacher he lau 171, ne taute fakailoa he Tau Fakamoli a Iehova.
d Fakaaoga e Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work, Volume 2, veveheaga 1-5, 28, 29, mo e 33 ne taute fakailoa he Tau Fakamoli a Iehova, ke lata mo e tau fakatutalaaga haau mo e tau fuata mui hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine.
HŪHŪ KI A KOE NI . . .
Totou e tau manatu nā ne moua mai he tau fuata he lalolagi katoa, ti hūhū hifo ki a koe e tau hūhū ne tū ai.
“Tala mai e tau matua haaku ke totou e tau vala tala hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine mo e tutala ki a laua ka fai hūhū au. Ka e manako au ke tutala fakalaulahi a laua ki a au hagaao ke he mena ia.”—Ana, Parasili.
Ko e ha he manatu haau kua aoga ke lahi e mena ka taute he nakai ni age ke he tama haau e tohi ke totou?
“Loga e mena hehē ne iloa e au hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine—tau mena ne manatu au kua nakai fai iloaaga e matua taane haaku ki ai. To ofomate a ia ka hūhū au hagaao ki ai.”—Ken, Kanatā.
Ko e heigoa e tau matakutaku ka ha ha he tama haau ka tutala ki a koe hagaao ke he haana tau tupetupe?
“He moua e au e loto toa ke hūhū ke he tau matua haaku hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, ne tali a laua tuga ke tuhituhi ki a au, he hūhū, ‘Ko e ha kua hūhū a koe ke he mena ia? Fai mena kia ne tupu?’”—Masami, Sapanī.
Ka hūhū e tama haau hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, maeke fēfē e tali haau ke hafagi e gutuhala po ke pā ai ma e tau fakatutalaaga he tau mogo i mua?
“To lagomatai ka fakamafana he tau matua haaku au he mogo ne hoko a laua ke he tau tau moui haaku mogonei, ne hūhū e laua e tau hūhū taha nei ti ko e aga pauaki ki a au ke hūhū pihia foki.”—Lisette, Falani.
Fakatotoka fēfē e koe e tama haau, ke maeke a ia ke totoka mitaki ka tutala ki a koe hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine?
“Hūhū he matua fifine haaku e tau hūhū hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, ka e he leo totonu. Logona hifo e au kua aoga e mena nei, ke maeke he tama ke nakai logona hifo kua fakafili ki a ia.”—Gerald, Falani.
Ko e vahega leo fēfē ka fakaaoga e koe ka tutala ke he tama haau hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine? Kua lata kia ke ai hikiaga?