Rebuilding Your Friendship With Jehovah

EACH year, many precious sheep are reinstated in the Christian congregation. Imagine the great “joy in heaven” when each one returns! (Luke 15:7, 10) If you have been reinstated, you can be sure that Jesus, the angels, and Jehovah himself are delighted to see you take a stand for the truth again. Yet, as you rebuild your friendship with Jehovah, you may face challenges. What are some of them, and what can help you?

WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES?

Many battle negative feelings after returning to the congregation. Perhaps you understand how King David felt. Even after being forgiven for his sins, he said: “My errors overwhelm me.” (Ps. 40:12; 65:3) After someone returns to Jehovah, feelings of guilt or shame may linger for years. Isabelle was disfellowshipped for over 20 years.a She said, “I found it very hard to accept the idea that Jehovah could forgive me.” If you get discouraged, you could again become spiritually weak. (Prov. 24:10) Try not to let that happen to you.

Others feel intimidated by the work involved in restoring their relationship with Jehovah. After reinstatement, Antoine said, “I felt that I had forgotten everything about my former life as a Christian.” Because of such feelings, some might hesitate to get fully involved in spiritual activities.

To illustrate, someone whose cherished home has been badly damaged by a hurricane may feel overwhelmed when he contemplates the time and effort needed to rebuild it. Similarly, if your friendship with Jehovah was damaged by serious sin, you may feel that your spiritual restoration will require enormous effort. But help is available.

Jehovah invites us: “Come, now, and let us set matters straight between us.” (Isa. 1:18) You have already worked hard to “set matters straight.” Jehovah loves you for making that effort. Just think: You have given Jehovah a basis for him to make a powerful reply to Satan’s accusations!—Prov. 27:11.

By doing this, you have already drawn closer to Jehovah, and he promises to reciprocate. (Jas. 4:8) However, more is involved than being recognized by others as someone who is again part of the congregation. You need to keep strengthening your love for your Father and Friend, Jehovah. How can you do this?

SET REASONABLE GOALS AS YOU REBUILD

Try setting reasonable goals. Remember that your spiritual foundation—your knowledge about Jehovah and his promises for the future—likely remains intact. But you need to rebuild a structure of Christian living, and this includes preaching the good news and associating frequently with your brothers and sisters. Consider the following goals.

Talk to Jehovah often. Your Father understands that persistent feelings of guilt can make it difficult for you to pray to him. (Rom. 8:26) Nevertheless, “persevere in prayer,” telling Jehovah how much you want his friendship. (Rom. 12:12) Andrej remembers: “I felt tremendous guilt and shame. But after each prayer, those feelings lessened. I felt more peace of mind.” If you do not know what to pray for, consider the prayers of repentant King David that are recorded in Psalms 51 and 65.

Study the Bible regularly. This will nourish you spiritually and help your love for Jehovah to grow. (Ps. 19:7-11) “Not having a spiritual routine in the first place was the reason I became weak and let Jehovah down,” said Felipe. “I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice, so I decided to make personal study my protection.” You can do the same. If you need guidance to identify suitable topics for your personal study, why not ask a mature friend for help?

Rebuild your friendship with your brothers and sisters. Some who return to the congregation worry that others will view them negatively. Larissa admitted: “I was very ashamed. I felt that I had betrayed the congregation. These feelings stayed with me for a long time.” Be assured that the elders and other mature ones are eager to help you as you rebuild your spirituality. (See the box “What Can Elders Do?”) They are delighted that you have returned, and they want you to do well!—Prov. 17:17.

What can draw you closer to the congregation? Get fully involved in what the brothers and sisters are doing—attending meetings and sharing regularly in field service. How will this help? Felix said: “The congregation was looking forward to my return. I felt valued. They all helped me to be part of a family again, to feel forgiven, and to move forward.”—See the box “What Can You Do?”

DO NOT GIVE UP!

Satan will continue to send your way more “hurricanes” to try to weaken you as you rebuild your friendship with Jehovah. (Luke 4:13) Be ready by strengthening your spiritual house now.

Regarding his sheep, Jehovah promises: “The lost one I will search for, the stray I will bring back, the injured I will bandage, and the weak I will strengthen.” (Ezek. 34:16) Jehovah has helped countless others who have experienced spiritual setbacks. Be assured that he wants to help you to keep building an ever stronger relationship with him.

What Can Elders Do?

The elders play a key role in helping reinstated publishers rebuild their relationship with Jehovah. Note what they can do for reinstated ones.

Reassure them. The apostle Paul knew that a repentant sinner could be “overwhelmed by excessive sadness.” (2 Cor. 2:7) He may be susceptible to feelings of shame and despair. Paul counseled the congregation: “Kindly forgive and comfort him.” Reinstated ones need to be reassured that Jehovah and their fellow believers love them dearly. Ongoing commendation and practical help may prevent them from becoming discouraged.

Pray with them. “A righteous man’s supplication has a powerful effect.” (Jas. 5:16) Larissa, quoted earlier, says: “I told the elders about my doubts and fears. They prayed in my behalf. Then I understood that the elders were not angry with me. They wanted to help me restore my relationship with Jehovah.” Theo says: “The elders’ prayers gave me confidence that Jehovah truly loves me and sees the good in me, not only the bad.”

Befriend them. Reinstated ones need friends in the congregation. “Seize any opportunity to invite them to work with you in the ministry and, most important, to visit them in their homes. Friendship is absolutely critical!” says an elder named Justin. Another elder, Henry, says, “If others in the congregation see the elders making friends with the reinstated one, they will try to do the same.”

Help them study. A mature friend can help a reinstated one establish a good study routine. An elder named Darko says: “I love to share spiritual gems that I have found in my personal study and to convey my enthusiasm for Bible study. I also arrange to study some material together.” Another elder, Clayton, says: “I encourage them to find Bible accounts that closely mirror what they have been through.”

Shepherd them. Reinstated ones have seen the elders in the role of judges. Now, more than ever, they need to see them as shepherds. (Jer. 23:4) Be quick to listen and ready to commend. Make contact frequently. Note what an elder named Marcus does on shepherding visits: “We share a Scriptural thought, commend them, and assure them that we are proud of them for working so hard to come back and that Jehovah is too. At the end of each visit, we set a date for the next one.”

a Names in this article have been changed.