Teachim Pikinini blo Iu for No Givap

Son blo iu hem krae and sei: “Mi no savve duim!” “Hem hard tumas! Mi les nomoa!” Hem laek for kwiktaem givap lo wanfala samting wea hem faendem hem hard. Iu no laek for lukim son blo iu hem stragol, bat lo semtaem iu laekem hem for lanem hao for winim olketa challenge tu. Hao, iu shud kwiktaem helpem hem nao? Hao, iu shud just letem hem for stop nomoa? Or hao, hem beta for iu teachim pikinini blo iu for no givap?

Wat iu shud savve

Wei for no givap hem important. Taem parents teachim pikinini for waka hard lo eniting wea hem duim, datwan savve helpem pikinini for do gud lo skul, garem beta emotional and physical health, and garem olketa gud frens. Bat taem parents ova protectim pikinini for no duim hard samting and no succeed lo wat hem duim, datwan savve mekem pikinini for depress, feel olsem hem no garem ability for duim samting, and taem hem adult hem bae garem laef wea hem no satisfae lo hem.

Wei for no givap savve kamap strong. Nomata olketa smol pikinini tu savve strongim wei for no givap taem olketa traem best for duim wanfala hard samting and solvem olketa problem. Lo wanfala research, olketa faendem dat olketa baby wea 15-month-old savve trae hard for duim wanfala difficult samting if olketa lukim wanfala adult hem stragol for duim wanfala samting tu, and no succeed nomoa lo evriting wea hem duim.

“Mi rememberim taem wea mi teachim olketa gele blo mi hao for taengem shoelace lo shoe blo olketa. Hem no skill wea iu savve lanem insaed wanday nomoa. Each taem wea olketa mas taengem shoelace blo olketa, bae olketa sidaon for 10 to 15 minutes for trae for rememberim hao for duim. Then mi bae helpem olketa. Hem tekem samfala months for olketa lanem hao for duim diswan, and samfala taem olketa krae bikos olketa frustrate, bat gogo olketa savve hao for duim. If mi peim shoe wea no garem shoelace, bae laef blo mi no hard. Bat samtaems, mifala olketa parents mas no givap mekem mifala teachim pikinini blo mifala for no givap tu.”—Colleen.

Wei for no givap savve kamap wik. Samfala parents maet no luksavve dat wat olketa duim hem spoelem ability blo pikinini for no givap. Wat nao olketa duim? Samfala parents no laekem pikinini for feel olsem hem fail lo wat hem duim, so olketa kwiktaem for “rescuem” hem mekem hem no frustrate or feel olsem hem fail. Bat diswan savve garem negative result. Wanfala author, Jessica Lahey, hem sei: “Each taem wea iumi rescuem. . . olketa pikinini blo iumi from wanfala challenge, hem olsem iumi talem disfala klia message lo olketa: dat olketa no savve duim gud eniting, olketa no fit, and iumi no trustim dat olketa savve duim datfala samting.”a Wat nao result? Pikinini maet kwiktaem for givap lo eni future challenge, bikos hem tingse hem needim wanfala adult for rescuem hem.

Wat iu savve duim

Encouragem wei for waka hard. Parents savve teachim pikinini for no givap taem olketa givim olketa waka for duim lo haos wea fitim age blo olketa. For example, olketa smol pikinini wea no skul yet, savve help witim laundry and putim away olketa toy. Olketa smol pikinini savve help for putim away shopping, putim olketa pleit lo tebol for kaikai and kolektem olketa dirty pleit for was, torowem rabis, and klinim ap eniting wea spill. Olketa teenager savve duim olketa big waka lo haos olsem for klinap, duim maintenance, and repair waka. Olketa pikinini maet no evritaem laek for duim waka lo haos, bat olketa savve benefit if parents givim waka wea olketa pikinini responsible for duim lo haos from taem olketa smol. Wat nao olketa benefit hia? Olketa pikinini lane hao for waka hard and no givap for duim olketa waka wea no isi bat wea important taem olketa kamap adult.

Bible principle: “Man wea waka hard lo eni waka wea hem duim bae kasem gud samting.”—Proverbs 14:23.

“No givim waka lo pikinini just for mekem hem busy. No eniwan, nomata pikinini tu, laekem datwan. Givim hem for duim waka wea mekem hem for feel iusful. If pikinini blo iu hem smol, letem hem for dustim olketa furniture lo ples wea hem fit for kasem. If iu wasim car, hem savve wasim olketa lower part lo car wea iu faendem hem hard for kasem. Then kwiktaem for talem thankiu for hard waka blo hem and talem dat hem really helpem iu.”—Chris.

Helpem pikinini taem hem duim olketa waka wea no isi. Samfala taem olketa pikinini kwiktaem for givap bikos olketa no savve hao for completim wanfala waka. So taem iu teachim wanfala niu skill lo pikinini blo iu, iu savve traem disfala idea. First samting, iu duim datfala waka and letem pikinini watchim iu. Then, iutufala duim tugeta datfala waka. Next samting, watchim hao pikinini duim datfala waka, and givim hem olketa tips wea savve helpem hem. Last samting, letem pikinini for duim seleva datfala waka.

Bible principle: “Mi showim wei for iufala followim, mekem samting wea mi duim long iufala, iufala mas duim long narawan tu.”—John 13:15.

“From experience blo miseleva, iumi parents need for showim gud example if iumi laekem olketa pikinini blo iumi for garem disfala wei for no givap. Iumi nao mas showim firstaem quality wea iumi laekem olketa for garem.”—Doug.

Helpem pikinini for acceptim dat evriwan savve stragol and fail taem olketa duim niu tings. Storyim lo hem dat iu tu stragol taem iu duim samfala niu tings bat iu benefit bikos iu no givap. Explainim lo hem dat hem normal samting for samwan faendem hem hard for duim niu tings, and wei for mekem olketa mistek savve helpem hem for lane. Talem hem dat if hem fail, datwan no minim bae iu no lovem hem. Olsem wanfala masol hem kamap strong taem iu iusim, ability blo pikinini blo iu for no givap bae kamap strong if iu allowim hem for feisim olketa challenge. So if pikinini blo iu feisim wanfala challenge, instead for iu stretawe helpem hem, givim hem taem for deal witim feeling blo hem for frustrate lo datwan. Datfala buk How Children Succeed hem sei: “Best samting wea savve helpem wanfala young wan for kamap strong and mature, hem nao for hem duim wanfala samting wea hae chance bae hem fail lo hem.”

Bible principle: “Taem iumi young, hem gud for deal witim olketa hard samting.”—Lamentations 3:27, Contemporary English Version.

“Taem iu allowim olketa pikinini for stragol lelebet taem for duim wanfala samting wea hem no isi, and lo semtaem olketa savve dat mami and dadi lo there for helpem olketa, iu helpem olketa pikinini for benefit. Bihaen, bae olketa no stragol moa and lo semtaem olketa bae developim skill for no givap and garem confidence dat wei for no givap bae helpem olketa.”—Jordan.

Praisem hard waka blo pikinini, no bikos hem kleva. For example, instead for sei, “Iu do gud lo test blo iu! Iu kleva tumas,” iu savve sei, “Iu do gud lo test blo iu! Mi barava hapi lo iu bikos iu waka hard for study.” Why nao hem important for praisem hard waka blo pikinini winim wei wea hem kleva? Dr. Carol Dweck talem dat wei for praisem pikinini bikos hem kleva savve “mekem pikinini for daotem hemseleva taem hem kasem eni hard samting or taem hem fail lo wanfala samting wea hem duim. Hem sei tu: “If parents laek for givim wanfala samting wea pikinini blo olketa bae benefit from, best samting wea parents savve duim hem for teachim pikinini for lovem wei for deal witim olketa challenge, laek for lane from olketa mistek, enjoyim wei for waka hard, trae for faendem olketa niu wei for duim samting, and for continue for lane. If olketa duim datwan, pikinini blo olketa bae no laekem praise olowe.”b

Bible principle: “Praise tu savve testim wanfala man.”—Proverbs 27:21.