Young Pipol Askem . . .

Hao Nao Bae Mi Sei No?

“Wanfala brata long kongregeson bilong mi sei hem lovem mi. No enitaem mi laekem hem. Problem nao, mi no savve hao for sei no long wei wea bae no mekem hem feel nogud.”—Elizabeth.a

“MI LAEKEM iu.” Eni young man talem iu diswan bifor? Olsem wanfala young woman,b maet iu bin feel barava hapi! Long narasaed, maet iu konfius tumas gogo iu no savve nao wanem for talem.

Taem samwan sei hem laekem iu, hem savve kosim staka difren feeling for kamap. Diswan hem barava tru taem age bilong iu fitim marit and iu savve acceptim wei wea hem interest!c Nomata olsem, ansa bilong iu hem barava depend long hu nao wan wea askem iu. Sapos hem mature saed long feeling and iu laekem hem, maet hem isi for ansa. Bat waswe sapos hem no garem olketa fasin fitim gudfala partner? Or sapos nomata hem garem olketa gudfala fasin, iu no interest long hem nomoa?

Tingim, tu, wanem nao bae kamap sapos wanfala young woman hem fren witim samwan for lelebet longtaem bat distaem luksavve hem no laek for stap witim man hia for full laef bilong hem. Winim wei for finisim, hem go ahed for frenim hem. Hem savve ask: “Hao nao bae mi sei no?”

Taem Iu No Laekem Hem

Long olketa taem bifor, pipol maritim samwan wea parents bilong olketa chusim. (Genesis 24:2-4, 8) Long samfala kantri, olketa Christian free for chusim seleva marit partner bilong olketa. Bible garem wanfala mark nomoa—olketa Christian mas marit “only insaed long Lord.”—1 Corinthians 7:39.

Waswe, diswan minim iu shud maritim eniwan wea garem sem biliv wea showimaot interest long iu or wea iu bin frenim for lelebet taem? Tingim example long Bible bilong wanfala girl from vilij bilong Shunem long Israel bifor. Solomon, king bilong girl hia, lukim hem and barava lovem hem. Bat taem king hia aftarem hem, datfala girl rejectim hem and barava askem olketa woman wea waka for king: “No trae for wekapem love insaed long mi go kasem taem hem redy.” (Song of Solomon 2:7) Disfala wise girl no laekem pipol for forcem feeling bilong hem. Hem nating interest long Solomon, from hem lovem wanfala hambol shepherd.

Diswan teachim wanfala important leson for olketa wea tingting for marit distaem: Iu kanduit laekem eniwan nomoa. So nomata bihaen iu frenim samwan for lelebet taem, maet iu faendaot iu no interest for maritim hem. Maet iu feel olsem from iu lukim samfala wik point long fasin bilong hem. Or maet iu faendaot iu no laekem hem. Hem bae krangge samting for no warim olketa feeling olsem. For no tingim kaen feeling olsem bae no stretem datfala problem.d “Mi garem staka daot insaed mind bilong mi abaotem hem,” Tamara hem sei abaotem young man wea hem frenim. “No just olketa smol daot bat olketa wea mekem mi feel nogud gogo nomata taem mi stap witim hem mi no feel free.” Hem luksavve bihaen hao, bikos long olketa daot hia, hem best for hem endim disfala wei for fren.

Why Hem Hard for Sei No

Nomata olsem, for sei no long wanfala young man hem isi for talem bat hem hard samting for duim. Olsem Elizabeth, wea iumi storyim firstaem, maet iu fraet for mekem samwan feel nogud. Hem tru, iumi shud tingim feeling bilong nara pipol. Bible encouragem olketa Christian for “werem fasin for kea” and for deal witim pipol long sem wei wea olketa laekem pipol for deal witim olketa. (Colossians 3:12; Matthew 7:12) Bat waswe, diswan minim iu shud go ahed for fren just bikos iu no laek for mekem young man hia feel nogud? Bae hem faendaot really feeling bilong iu bihaen, and wei wea iu no kwiktaem honest witim hem bae mekem feeling bilong hem moa worse. Samting wea barava nogud nao hem for maritim disfala young man from iu feel sorre long hem nomoa. Feeling for sorre hem wanfala nogud faondeson for marit.

Bat, maet iu stragol witim tingting, ‘Sapos mi no maritim hem, mi maet no garem nara chance nao.’ Olsem article insaed Teen magasin talem, wanfala girl maet ting: “Hem no ‘wan mi laekem,’ bat hem samwan—and mi no laek stap seleva.” Hem tru, feeling for laek garem partner savve strong. Bat, for satisfaem disfala feeling hem minim moa samting winim wei for garem eni partner nomoa. Hem really minim wei for faendem samwan wea iu savve barava lovem and wea fit for fulfillim olketa Bible responsibility bilong marit. (Ephesians 5:33) So no kwiktaem chusim partner! Staka wea marit kwiktaem olketa sorre bihaen.

Last samting, samfala maet go ahed for fren nomata hem klia datfala young man garem olketa bigfala wik point. Olketa ting: ‘Sapos mi givim hem moa taem, hem maet change.’ Waswe, diswan hem gud tingting? For tok stret, nogud wei bilong man staka taem stap strong long hem and barava hard for changem. And nomata sapos hem seknomoa mekem bigfala change, waswe, iu savve really sure diswan hem for olowe? Wantaem, wanfala young woman wea nem bilong hem Karen hem showimaot wisefala tingting taem hem finisim wei wea hem fren witim wanfala young man taem hem luksavve tufala no garem sem goal. Karen sei: “Hem hard, bikos mi garem feeling for hem. Bat mi savve hem stret samting for duim.”

Mas Careful

Hem tru, hem no isi for sei no long samwan. Olsem pasol wea garem samting wea isi for brek, man mas careful witim diskaen samting. Long hia hem samfala idea wea savve help.

Storyim witim parents bilong iu or witim nara mature wan insaed kongregeson. Olketa maet helpem iu luksavve sapos iu ova tumas long wanem iu tingim.

Tok klia and tok stret. Mek sure feeling bilong iu klia long mind bilong hem. Wei for talem stret “Nomoa” bae mekem planti wea ask for givap. Sapos iu need for duim, talem no bilong iu long wei wea moa strong, olsem “Mi sorre, bat mi no interest.” Careful no for givim idea hao iu maet change mind sapos hem go ahed for ask. Wei wea iu mekem klia iu no garem eni interest long hem shud stopem eni wei for konfius and mekem moa isi for hem winim sorre feeling bilong hem.

Balancem honest fasin witim gudfala tingting. Proverbs 12:18 hem sei: “Toktok bilong man wea tok olabaot hem olsem sword wea katem man.” Hem tru, for tok stret hem important, bat Bible sei toktok bilong iumi mas “kaenfala, garem salt.”—Colossians 4:6.

Hol strong long disison bilong iu. Olketa fren wea no savve long olketa reason bilong iu maet sei for iu givim wei wea iutufala fren nara chance. Bat long end iu nao bae feisim samting wea kamaot from disison bilong iu—no olketa fren bilong iu wea trae for helpem iu.

Duim samting followim toktok bilong iu. Bifor maet iutufala gud fren, and hem wei bilong man nomoa for laek go ahed for fren olsem. Bat staka taem diswan no fitim and hem hard tumas. Hem garem finis feeling for laekem iu. Waswe, hem balance for tingse hem savve aotem olketa feeling hia and act olsem no eniting nomoa happen? So nomata hem tru iu mas kaen long hem, wei for story evritaem long telephone or for spendem staka taem tugeta bae mekem pain bilong hem moa worse. Hem olsem iu plei witim feeling bilong hem, and diswan bae no showimaot kaenfala fasin.

Aposol Paul encouragem olketa Christian for “talem trufala toktok” long each other. (Ephesians 4:25) For duim diswan maet hard, bat hem savve helpem iutufala evriwan for go ahed witim laef bilong iutufala.

[Olketa footnote]

[Blurb long page 13]

Iu kanduit laekem eniwan nomoa

[Piksa long page 14]

Tok klia and tok stret taem iu talemaot feeling bilong iu