Barbaraa barava lovem dadi bilong hem. Fren bilong Barbara laek for comfortim hem bat datfala toktok mekem hem feel nogud. Barbara no minim why nao God tekem dadi bilong hem. Nomata bihaen staka year, Barbara hem gohed for sorre.

Barbara luksavve taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae man savve sorre for longfala taem. Bible sei dae hem “lastfala enemy.” (1 Corinth 15:26) Dae hem olsem wanfala enemy wea seknomoa hem kam and tekem samwan wea iumi lovem. Iumi hard for ranawe from datfala enemy. So taem samwan hem dae, hem normal nomoa for iumi feel sorre.

Maet iumi laek for savve: ‘Taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae, bae iumi gohed sorre for longtaem bihaen datwan? Wanem nao savve helpem iumi for deal witim feeling for sorre? Hao nao iumi savve comfortim olketa wea feel sorre? Waswe, bae iumi lukim moa olketa wea iumi lovem wea dae?’

Maet enitaem iu garem flu, bat bihaen wan week nomoa iu gud bak, then iu no tingim moa datwan. Diswan hem difren from taem samwan wea iu lovem hem dae bikos iu bae gohed for tingim hem. Doctor Alan Wolfelt wea raetem datfala buk Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart, hem sei: “Taem samwan hem dae, datfala feeling for sorre hem hard for finis.” Bat hem sei tu: “Bihaen samfala taem go pas and from olketa narawan sapotim iu, bae iu no sorre tumas.”

Tingim example bilong Abraham taem waef bilong hem dae. Bible sei: “Abraham start for sorre and krae bikos Sarah hem dae.” Luk olsem from Abraham just “start for” krae long datfala taem, datwan showimaot maet hem gohed sorre for longfala taem bihaen waef bilong hem dae.a Nara example hem Jacob. Hem tingse wanfala wild animal killim dae Joseph bikos olketa nara boy bilong hem trikim hem. Hem feel sorre for “staka day” bihaen datwan nomata olketa long famili bilong hem trae for comfortim hem. Nomata bihaen staka year, hem tingim yet boy bilong hem.—Genesis 23:2; 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.

Nomata distaem tu, taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae, maet sorre feeling wea iumi garem hem hard for finis. Iumi bae storyim tufala example.

• Gail, wea hem 60 year hem sei: “Long morning bilong July 9, 2008, mi and hasband bilong mi Robert duim nomoa samting wea mitufala savve duim evri morning. Firstaem, mitufala kaikai tugeta. Then bifor hem go waka mitufala kiss, hagem each other, and sei long each other ‘mi lovem iu.’ Bat long datfala day, Robert hem dae long wanfala accident. Nomata bihaen sixfala year, mi gohed sorre yet. Ating dae nomoa bae finisim sorre bilong mi.”

• Etienne, wea hem 84 year hem sei: “Nomata hem 18 year finis bihaen waef bilong mi dae, mi still missim hem and mi gohed sorre yet. Taem mi lukim olketa naes samting long creation, datwan mekem mi for tingim hem bikos hem tu savve laekem tumas for lukim olketa samting olsem.”

So hem normal nomoa for man garem kaen feeling olsem taem samwan wea hem lovem hem dae. Iumi shud no judgem samwan wea sorre for longfala taem. Sapos samwan iumi lovem hem dae, iumi shud no tingse hem rong for iumi gohed for sorre. Bat hao nao iumi savve deal witim feeling for sorre?

Staka pipol savve givim advaes abaotem hao for deal witim feeling for sorre taem samwan iumi lovem hem dae. Bat no evri advaes savve fitim iu. Olsem example, maet samfala pipol sei iu shud no krae or no showimaot iu feel sorre. Olketa narawan sei iu shud showimaot iu feel sorre. Bible hem garem olketa advaes wea barava fitim, and wea olketa savveman distaem olketa agree witim.

Long samfala culture, olketa sei hem fitim nomoa for olketa woman krae, bat no olketa man. Bat waswe, hem rong for iumi krae? Olketa savveman sei nomata iumi man or woman, hem normal nomoa for krae taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae. Maet wei for duim olsem savve helpem iumi for deal witim wei for sorre. Bible no sei hem rong for krae. Olsem example, tingim Jesus. Nomata hem garem paoa for mekem olketa wea dae for laef bak, hem krae taem fren bilong hem, Lazarus, hem dae.—John 11:33-35.

Hem normal tu for feel kros taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae, especially taem seknomoa datwan hem happen. Staka reason stap why man wea feel sorre maet kros, olsem taem samwan wea iumi respectim hem talem toktok wea no fitim. Olsem example, wanfala man long South Africa wea nem bilong hem Mike sei: “Mi 14 year nomoa taem dadi bilong mi hem dae. Long funeral bilong dadi bilong mi, wanfala bigman bilong Anglican Church hem sei God needim staka gud pipol long heven, dastawe hem tekem olketa wea strong yet.a Datfala toktok mekem mi kros tumas bikos mifala laekem dadi for stap witim mifala. Nomata bihaen 63 year, mi still missim hem.”

Taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae, iumi savve blamem iumiseleva tu. Especially taem seknomoa samwan hem dae, maet iumi ting olsem, ‘Sapos mi duim olsem or duim datwan, hard for hem dae.’ Or maet bifor hem dae, iutufala raoa lelebet. Datwan savve mekem iumi for barava blamem iumiseleva.

Sapos iu blamem iuseleva or iu feel kros, hem important for iu storyim datwan long fren bilong iu. Hem bae lisin long iu and hem savve helpem iu for luksavve hem normal nomoa for garem kaen feeling olsem taem iumi sorre. Bible sei: “Gudfala fren hem lovem iu olowe, and hem olsem brata wea iu savve depend long hem long taem bilong trabol.”—Proverbs 17:17.

Jehovah God hem best fren bilong iumi. Taem iumi feel sorre, ‘hem tingim iumi’ and iumi savve talemaot feeling bilong iumi long hem. (1 Peter 5:7) God promis for givim iumi ‘peace bilong hem wea winim nao wanem man savve minim’ for helpem iumi. (Philippi 4:6, 7) And tu, olketa scripture long Bible savve comfortim iumi. Raetem wanfala list bilong olketa scripture wea savve comfortim iu. (Lukim box.) Maet hem gud for baeheartim samfala scripture hia. Wei for ting raonem olketa scripture hia savve helpem iumi, especially taem hem no isi for iumi sleep long naet.—Isaiah 57:15.

Jack barava lovem waef bilong hem, bat no longtaem go nomoa waef bilong hem dae long cancer. Jack sei samfala taem hem savve feel lonely tumas. Bat hem sei wei for prea hem helpem hem. Hem sei: “Taem mi prea long Jehovah, mi feel olsem mi no stap seleva. Plande taem mi savve wekap long naet and hem hard for mi sleep bak moa. Bihaen mi readim and ting raonem olketa scripture long Bible and then mi talemaot feeling bilong mi long Jehovah, datwan helpem mi for sleep gud.”

Mami bilong Vanessa hem sik gogo hem dae. Vanessa tu hem sei prea hem helpem hem. Hem sei: “Taem mi barava sorre tumas, mi savve talem nem bilong God nomoa and mi krae. Jehovah lisin long olketa prea bilong mi and hem helpem mi for gohed strong.”

Olketa savveman savve encouragem olketa wea sorre tumas for duim samting for helpem olketa narawan or duim volunteer waka long community. Taem olketa duim olsem, olketa savve hapi and olketa no feel sorre tumas. (Acts 20:35) Plande Christian wea feel sorre bihaen samwan hem dae sei taem olketa helpem olketa narawan, datwan helpem olketa for no sorre tumas.—2 Corinth 1:3, 4.

Taem wanfala fren barava sorre from samwan hem dae, maet iumi no savve wanem for talem or duim, so iumi no duim eni samting nao. Bat iumi savve duim samfala samting.

Taem iumi go lukim datfala fren and talem sorre long hem, datwan savve comfortim hem. Samfala pipol savve hagem man or holem hand bilong hem for showimaot olketa tingim hem. Sapos hem laek for story, iumi lisin gud long hem. Gud samting for duim hem for helpem datfala famili, olsem for kuki, lukaftarem pikinini bilong olketa, or duim eni nara samting wea olketa needim. Bae olketa tinghae long eni samting wea iumi duim.

Narataem maet iumi savve storyim samfala naes samting abaotem datfala man wea dae, olsem gudfala wei bilong hem or gud samting wea hem duim. Datwan savve mekem fren bilong iumi hapi. Olsem example, Pam, wea hasband bilong hem, Ian, dae sixfala year finis hem sei: “Taem pipol storyim olketa gud samting wea Ian duim, datwan mekem mi hapi.”

Olketa savveman sei taem samwan hem dae staka pipol savve helpem famili bilong hem, bat bihaen datwan olketa savve busy long olketa samting bilong olketa seleva, and datwan savve mekem hem hard for duim samting moa for helpem datfala famili. So hem gud for markem taem for ringim or visitim fren bilong iumi wea lusim samwan.a Datwan savve givim chance for hem storyim feeling bilong hem.

Tingim example bilong Kaori, wanfala young woman long Japan wea hem sorre tumas from mami bilong hem dae, then bihaen 15 month nomoa, big sista bilong hem dae. Bat gud samting, olketa fren bilong hem sapotim hem. Wanfala fren hia hem Ritsuko wea hem kamap olsem mami bilong hem. Kaori sei: “For tok stret, firstaem mi no laekem datwan. Long tingting bilong mi hard for eniwan bae olsem mami bilong mi. Bat gogo mi kolem hem Mama Ritsuko bikos hem kaen tumas long mi. Evri week mitufala go preach tugeta and go long olketa Christian meeting tugeta. Mitufala savve kap tea tugeta long haos bilong hem, hem savve tekem kam kaikai for mi, and staka taem hem savve raetem leta or card. Mama Ritsuko hem barava encouragem mi.”

Hem 12 year finis bihaen mami bilong Kaori hem dae, and distaem Kaori and hasband bilong hem go stap long nara ples for duim volunteer waka for preach long pipol. Kaori sei: “Mama Ritsuko gohed for tingim mi. Taem mi go bak long hom, mi barava laek for visitim hem.”

Poli wea hem wanfala Jehovah’s Witness from Cyprus, hem tu, kasem sapot from olketa narawan. Sozos, hasband bilong Poli hem kaenfala man, and hem Christian elder wea showimaot gudfala example. Plande taem hem invaetem olketa widow and olketa pikinini wea no garem dadi and mami for olketa kaikai tugeta long haos bilong olketa. (James 1:27) Sorre samting, taem Sozos hem 53 year, hem dae from hem garem brain tumor. Poli sei: “Mi lusim naesfala hasband bilong mi, wea mitufala stap tugeta for 33 year.”

No longtaem bihaen datwan, Poli and son bilong hem Daniel, wea 15 year, go stap long Canada. Long there, tufala joinim wanfala kongregeson bilong Olketa Jehovah’s Witness. Poli sei: “Olketa long datfala kongregeson no savve long evri samting wea kasem mifala. Nomata olsem, olketa kaen long mifala and helpem mifala. Mi tinghae tumas long wanem olketa duim bikos long datfala taem son bilong mi barava missim dadi bilong hem! Olketa elder long kongregeson evritaem story witim Daniel. Taem wanfala elder hia savve go for hapitaem or for plei soccer, hem savve tekem Daniel.” Distaem Poli and Daniel gohed gud long Canada.

Tru nao, iumi savve duim staka difren samting for helpem and comfortim olketa wea feel sorre. And tu, Bible storyim wanfala nambawan hope wea savve comfortim iumi.

Gail, wea iumi storyim finis, hem sei hem sorre tumas from hasband bilong hem, Rob, hem dae. Bat hem luk forward for lukim hem moa long future bikos favorite scripture bilong hem long Revelation 21:3, 4 sei: “God nao bae stap witim olketa. Hem bae draem evri tias long eye bilong olketa. No eniwan bae dae and no enitaem bae pipol sorre or krae or feelim pain tu. Olketa samting wea happen bifor hem nomoa nao.”

Gail sei: “Datfala promis bilong God barava helpem mi. Mi sorre long pipol wea samwan wea olketa lovem hem dae and olketa tingse olketa bae no lukim hem moa.” So Gail duim volunteer waka for talem pipol abaotem datfala promis hao long future “no eniwan bae dae.”

Maet iu tingse hem hard for olsem. Bat tingim example bilong Job. Hem sik big. (Job 2:7) Datwan mekem hem laek for dae, bat hem savve sapos hem dae, God garem paoa for mekem hem laef bak moa long earth. Dastawe Job sei: “Mi laekem tumas for iu haedem mi long Sheol . . . Iu bae kolem mi, and mi bae ansarem iu. Samting wea iu wakem, iu barava laek for lukim moa.” (Job 14:13, 15) Job savve God bae sorre sapos hem dae and God bae laekem tumas for mekem hem laef bak.

Klosap nao, God bae resurrectim Job and olketa narawan bihaen disfala earth hem kamap paradaes. (Luke 23:42, 43) Long Acts 24:15 hem sei: “God bae mekem pipol . . . for laef bak.” Jesus sei tu: “Iufala mas no sapraes long diswan, bikos taem bae kam wea evriwan wea stap insaed long grev bae herem toktok bilong hem and laef bak.” (John 5:28, 29) Bihaen Job hem laef bak, hem bae “strong moa olsem taem hem young” and “body bilong hem bae kamap gud moa winim taem hem young.” (Job 33:24, 25) Sapos iumi showimaot faith long God wea garem paoa for mekem olketa wea dae for laef bak long earth, bae iumi lukim taem God hem resurrectim olketa hia, and bae iumi young bak olsem Job.

Sapos samwan wea iu lovem hem dae, maet iu gohed for feel sorre. Bat sapos iu ting raonem olketa promis bilong God long Bible, iu savve garem hope for lukim hem moa and iu bae strong for gohed.—1 Thessalonica 4:13.

Waswe, iu laek for lanem samfala samting moa abaotem hao for deal witim sorre bihaen man hem dae? Or iu laek for savve “Why nao God letem olketa nogud samting and wei for safa gohed?” Plis go long website bilong mifala, jw.org/pis, for readim ansa for olketa kwestin hia.