Impanuro zo kwizigirwa zofasha abavyeyi kurera abana

“NARI mfise imyaka 19, nkaba naba kure y’incuti zanje zose, kandi nta vyo nari niteguriye”. Ukwo ni ko uwitwa Ruth avuga ku bijanye n’igihe yibungenga ari bwo bwa mbere. Yari umwana w’ikinege, kandi ntiyari yarazirikanye ibijanye n’ibanga ry’ubuvyeyi. Ni hehe none yari kuronderera impanuro zo kwizigirwa?

Uwitwa Jan wewe, uno akaba ari se w’abana batatu bakuze, yibuka ati: “Mu ntango nibwira yuko bitazobura kugenda neza. Ariko butaraca na kabiri, narabonye yuko hari ibintu ngirakamaro mu buzima ntari nzi”. Mu gihe kuva mu ntango abavyeyi boba batabona neza ukuntu borera abana babo, canke mu gihe ivyo vyobashikira mu nyuma, ni hehe bashobora kuronderera impanuro zobafasha?

Muri iki gihe, abavyeyi bagenda barushiriza kwiyongera, usanga barondera mwene izo mpanuro bakoresheje bwa buhinga bwa Internet. Ariko hari aho wokwibaza nimba impanuro dusanga kuri Internet umuntu ashobora kuzizigira koko. Mu vy’ukuri, hariho imvo yumvikana yotuma wiyubara. Mbega, woba vy’ukuri uzi abo bantu baguhaye impanuro biciye kuri Internet? Boba ubwabo barashoboye kurera neza abana babo? Nta gukeka ko wipfuza kwiyubara ku bijanye n’ibintu vyose vyogira ico bikoze ku muryango wawe. Rimwe na rimwe, nk’uko ikiganiro c’imbere y’iki cavyerekanye, mbere n’impanuro abahinga batanga mu bijanye no kurera abana, zirateba zikaboneka ko atari ngirakamaro. Ni hehe none woronderera impanuro zo kwizigirwa?

Isoko ruheta ry’impanuro zijanye n’ukurera abana ni Yehova Imana, we yatanguje umuryango (Abanyefeso 3:15). Ni we wenyene twovuga ko ari umuhinga nyawe. Mw’Ijambo ryiwe, ari ryo Bibiliya, aratanga ubuyobozi bwo kwizigirwa kandi bw’ingirakamaro bufasha koko (Zaburi 32:8; Yesaya 48:17, 18). Ariko rero, ni twe duheza tukihitiramwo kubukurikiza.

Hari abubakanye batari bake basabwe ko botwiganira ivyo biboneye mu kurera abana babo kugira ngo nibakura bazobe abantu b’indero kandi batinya Imana. Bavuze yuko gushira mu ngiro ingingo ngenderwako za Bibiliya ari vyo ahanini vyatumye baroranirwa. Basanze impanuro Bibiliya itanga ari izo kwizigirwa muri iki gihe, nk’uko nyene zari izo kwizigirwa igihe Bibiliya yandikwa.

Nuze uramarana umwanya na bo

Igihe nyina w’abana babiri yitwa Catherine yabazwa impanuro yamufashije kuruta izindi zose iyo ari yo, yaciye ubwo nyene avuga iyo dusanga mu Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:7. Ico canditswe kivuga giti: “Muze mugire umwete wo kuyigisha [ni ukuvuga, amabwirizwa yo muri Bibiliya] abana banyu; muze muyahoze mu kanwa iyo mwicaye mu nzu, n’iyo muriko muragenda mu nzira, n’iyo muryamye, n’iyo muvyutse”. Catherine yaratahuye yuko kugira ngo akurikize iyo mpanuro, yobwirijwe kuza aramarana umwanya n’abana biwe.

Hari aho woca wibwira uti: ‘Emwe, ivyo vyoroshe kuvuga, ntivyoroshe gukora!’. Mu ngo nyinshi aho usanga abavyeyi bompi babwirizwa gukora kugira ngo baronke icotunga umuryango, abavyeyi bafise vyinshi bacurumbamwo bashobora gute kurushiriza kumarana umwanya n’abana babo? Umuvyeyi umwe yitwa Torlief, uno akaba afise umuhungu na we nyene afise abana, avuga yuko ikintu nyamukuru gifasha muri ivyo ari ugukurikiza iyo mpanuro nyene dusanga mu Gusubira mu vyagezwe. Nuze urajana n’abana bawe aho ugiye hose, maze uturyo two kuyaga na bo tuzokwizana. Avuga kandi ati: “Twe n’umuhungu wanje twarakorana ibikorwa vyo mu nzu. Twaragira ingendo turi hamwe uko tugize umuryango. Kandi twarafungurira hamwe”. Avuga yuko ivyo vyatumye “umuhungu wa[bo] yama yumva ko ashobora guserura akari ku mutima ata co yinona”.

Bite ho mu gihe uguseruranira akari ku mutima n’umwana wawe guhagaze maze bikaza biragora ko muyaga? Ivyo rimwe na rimwe birashika uko abana bagenda barakura. N’ico gihe nyene, kurushiriza kumarana umwanya na bo birashobora gufasha. Umunega wa Catherine, uwitwa Ken, yibuka yuko igihe umukobwa wabo yaba umuyabaga, yaciye atangura kuza aridoga avuga yuko se wiwe atamutega ugutwi. Mu bisanzwe, imiyabaga irakunze kwidoga gutyo. None Ken yari gukora iki? Yibuka ati: “Nafashe ingingo yo kurushiriza kumarana na we umwanya, turi babiri gusa, tukaza turaganira ku bijanye n’ivyo yiyumvira, ukuntu yiyumva, be n’ivyamubabaza. Kandi, ivyo vyaragize ico bimara vy’ukuri” (Imigani 20:5). Ariko rero, Ken yibwira yuko icatumye ubwo buryo bugira ico buvuyemwo ari uko ukwo guseruranira akari ku mutima kitari ikintu gishasha mu muryango wabo. Avuga ati: “Twe n’umukobwa wanje twamye dufitaniye ubucuti bwiza, akaba ari co gituma rero yumva yuko ashobora kumbwira iryo agona ata co yinona”.

Biri n’ico bivuze kubona itohoza rimwe riherutse kugirwa ryarerekanye yuko ufashe igitigiri c’imiyabaga yoshobora kuvuga yuko abavyeyi n’abana batamarana umwanya uhagije ukakigereranya n’igitigiri c’abavyeyi babo boshobora kubivuga, usanga ic’imiyabaga kiruta incuro zitatu ic’abo bavyeyi. Wumva none bitoba vyiza ukurikije iyo mpanuro Bibiliya itanga? Nuze uramarana n’abana bawe umwanya munini ushoboka: haba igihe uriko uraruhuka canke igihe uriko urakora, haba igihe uri i muhira canke igihe uri ku rugendo, haba mu gitondo igihe muvyutse canke mw’ijoro imbere y’uko muryama. Mu gihe bishoboka, nimuze murajana aho ugiye hose. Nk’uko mu Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:7 hadufasha kubibona, nta kindi kintu na kimwe coza gisubirira ukumarana umwanya n’abana bawe.

Nubigishe imico runtu

Uwitwa Mario, uno akaba ari se w’abana babiri, na we atanga iyi mpanuro igira iti: “Nugaragarize cane urukundo abana bawe, kandi uze uragira ivyo ubasomera”. Ariko rero, ivyo ntibisobanura gusa ugukabura ubushobozi bwabo bwo kwiyumvira. Urakeneye kubigisha gutandukanya ikibi n’iciza. Mario yongerako ati: “Nuze urigana na bo Bibiliya”.

Ku bijanye rero n’ukwigisha abana, Bibiliya ihanura abavyeyi iti: “Ntimukaratse abana banyu, ariko mubarere [“mu kubamenyereza ivyiza no mu kubahanura nk’uko Umukama ashaka”, UB]” (Abanyefeso 6:4). Muri kino gihe, mu ngo nyinshi usanga abavyeyi batitwararika cane ivyo kwigisha abana babo imico runtu. Hari abiyumvira yuko abana babo nibakura, bazokwihitiramwo imico bokurikiza. Wewe wumva ivyo vyumvikana? Nk’uko nyene imibiri y’abana bakiri bato ikenera kugaburirwa neza kugira ngo bakomere kandi bagire amagara meza, ni ko n’ubwenge bwabo be n’imitima yabo bikenera kwigishwa. Abana bawe, utabigishirije imico runtu i muhira, birashoboka ko baheza bagakurikira ivyiyumviro vy’abo bigana canke ivy’abigisha babo, kibure ivyo bakura mu bimenyeshamakuru.

Bibiliya irashobora gufasha abavyeyi kwigisha abana babo gutandukanya ikibi n’iciza (2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17). Umukurambere umwe mukirisu aciye uruma afise abana babiri yitwa Jeff, ahanura abavyeyi gukoresha Bibiliya mu kwigisha abana imico runtu. Avuga ati: “Gukoresha Bibiliya birafasha abana gutahura ukuntu Umuremyi abona ikintu kinaka, aho kuraba gusa uko abavyeyi babo bakibona. Twariboneye yuko Bibiliya igira ikintu kidasanzwe ikoze ku muzirikanyi no ku mutima. Kugira ngo tugorore inyifato yinaka itabereye canke ukubona ibintu kunaka kutabereye umwana afise, twarafata umwanya tukarondera icanditswe kibereye. Hanyuma, turi ahantu ha twenyene, twarareka uwo mwana akaba ari we agisoma. Akenshi, twaca tubona uwo mwana atanguye gukorora amosozi. Ivyo vyaradutangaza cane. Bibiliya yaragira ikintu gikomeye ikoze kuruta ikintu ico ari co cose twari gushobora kuvuga canke gukora”.

Mu Baheburayo 4:12 ni ho hasigura hati: “Ijambo ry’Imana [ni] rizima, rifise ubukuba, . . . risuzuma ivyo umutima wiyumvira, ukagabira”. Ubutumwa buri muri Bibiliya rero, si ivyo gusa abantu Imana yakoresheje mu kuyandika biyumvira, eka kandi si ivyo gusa bo ubwabo bagiye baribonera mu buzima. Ahubwo riho, ubwo butumwa buratwereka ukuntu Imana ubwayo ibona ibijanye n’imico runtu. Ivyo bituma ubwo butumwa bwa Bibiliya buba ubutandukanye n’izindi mpanuro zose. Ukoresheje Bibiliya igihe wigisha abana bawe, uba uriko urabafasha kubona ibintu nk’uko Imana ibibona. Indero ubaha iraheza ikarushiriza kugira uburemere, kandi bituma bishoboka cane ko ushikira umutima w’umwana wawe.

Umwe Catherine twamaze kuvuga, ati ivyo ni ko biri. Avuga ati: “Uko ikibazo kinaka caza kigoye kuruta, ni ko twaca turushiriza kurondera ubuyobozi mw’Ijambo ry’Imana, kandi ivyo vyaragira ico bivamwo!”. Ubona worushiriza gukoresha Bibiliya mu kwigisha abana bawe gutandukanya ikibi n’iciza?

Nube umuntu agira ibitegereka

Intumwa Paulo arerekana iyindi ngingo ngenderwako ihambaye ifasha cane mu bijanye no kurera abana. Yahimirije abakirisu bagenziwe ati: “Ukugira ibitegereka kwanyu kumenywe n’abantu bose” (Ab’i Filipi 4:5, NW). Nta gukeka ko ivyo bisobanura yuko n’abana bacu twobereka ko turi abantu bagira ibitegereka. Kandi wibuke yuko ukugira ibitegereka bigaragaza ko umuntu afise “ubgenge”, canke ubukerebutsi, “buva mw ijuru”.​—Yakobo 3:17.

Uti none kugira ibitegereka bifise uruhara uruhe mu bijanye no kurera abana bacu? Naho tubafasha uko dushoboye kwose, ntitubategeka mu kantu kose bakora. Nk’akarorero, Mario, umwe twamaze kuvuga, ni Icabona ca Yehova, akaba yibuka ati: “Twama turemesha abana bacu ku vyerekeye ukubatizwa, ubusuku bw’igihe cose, be n’iyindi migambi yo mu vy’impwemu. Ariko twarabereka neza yuko ari bo bazokwifatira ingingo y’ico bokora igihe kibereye kigeze”. Uzi ico vyavuyemwo? Ubu abana babo uko ari babiri ni abamamaji b’inkuru nziza b’igihe cose.

Bibiliya igabisha ba sebibondo mu B’i Kolosayi 3:21 iti: “Ntimukaratse abana banyu, ngo ntibaranduke imitima”. Catherine araha agaciro cane ico canditswe. Igihe ukwihangana kw’umuvyeyi kugabanutse, usanga bica vyoroha cane ko ashavura canke ko yitega vyinshi ku bana biwe. Avuga ati: “Ariko, nturondere ko umwana wawe ashika ku vyo wewe ubwawe ubona ko utegerezwa gushikako”. Catherine na we nyene ni Icabona ca Yehova, akaba yongerako ati: “Nutume abana babona ko gukorera Yehova ari ikintu gihimbaye”.

Umwe Jeff twamaze kuvuga, aravuga iki kintu c’ingirakamaro ati: “Igihe abana bacu bigirwa haruguru gatoyi, hari umugenzi umwe yatubwiye yuko yasanze ko yabwirijwe akatari gake kwankira abana biwe ivyo baba bamusavye. Ivyo vyarababaza cane, bagasigara bumva umengo baracinyizwa. Kugira ngo rero ntibize bigende gutyo ku bana bacu, yaduhanuye kuza turaraba ukuntu tugira ivyo tubemereye”.

Jeff abandanya ati: “Iyo, twasanze ari impanuro nziza. Twaciye tuza turarondera ukuntu abana bacu bokwifatanya n’abandi mu biringo twaba tubona ko bibereye. Rero twarabegera tukababwira duti: ‘Mbega mwari muzi ko naka azogira iki canke kiriya? Mubona gute none mwifatanije na we?’. Canke mu gihe baba badusavye kubajana ahantu hanaka, twaca twigora tukajayo naho twaba turushe. Ivyo twabigira gusa kugira ngo ntitubankire ico kintu baba badusavye”. Emwe, ico ni co bisobanura kuba umuntu agira ibitegereka: kutarenganya, kwitwararika abandi, no kugira ivyo urekuriye abandi mugabo utarenze ku ngingo ngenderwako zo muri Bibiliya.

Nimwungukire ku mpanuro zo kwizigirwa

Benshi muri abo bavyeyi twavuze, ubu barafise abuzukuru. Barahimbarwa no kubona ukuntu izo ngingo ngenderwako zo muri Bibiliya nyene zifasha abana babo kuroranirwa mw’ibanga ryabo ry’ubuvyeyi. Ubona nawe ushobora kwungukira ku mpanuro Bibiliya itanga?

Igihe umwe Ruth twavuze mu ntango yari amaze kwibaruka, we n’umunega wiwe vyarashika bakumva umengo ntibagira icobafasha. Ariko mu vy’ukuri cari kihari. Bari bafise impanuro zo mw’Ijambo ry’Imana Bibiliya, zo ziruta izindi zose. Ivyabona vya Yehova barasohoye ibitabu vyinshi vyiza cane bifasha kwiga Bibiliya bishobora kugira ico bimariye abavyeyi. Muri ivyo twovuga icitwa Igira kuri wa Mwigisha Ahambaye, icitwa Igitabu Canje c’Inkuru za Bibiliya, icitwa Ibibazo urwaruka rwibaza​—Inyishu ngirakimazi, be n’icitwa Umuntu Ahambaye Kuruta Ababayeho Bose. Torlief, wa munega wa Ruth, avuga ati: “Muri iki gihe hariho impanuro nyinshi cane zishingiye kuri Bibiliya abavyeyi bashobora kwikorako bitagoranye. Mu gihe gusa bozisunga, birashobora kubafasha kurera neza umwana mu mice yose y’ubuzima, uko agenda arakura”.

[Uruzitiro/Ifoto ku rup. 5]

Ivyo ABAHINGA bavuga be n’ivyo BIBILIYA yoyo ivuga

Ku bijanye no kugaragaza urukundo:

Mu gitabu kimwe (The Psychological Care of Infant and Child, co mu 1928), Dogoteri John Broadus Watson yahanuye abavyeyi ati: “Ntimukigere mugumbira canke musoma” abana banyu. “Ntimukigere mubakundira kwicara ku bibero vyanyu”. Ariko rero, Dogoteri Vera Lane na Dogoteri Dorothy Molyneaux baheruka kuvuga mu kinyamakuru citwa Abana bacu (mu congereza) casohowe muri Ntwarante 1999, bati: “Ubushakashatsi bwerekana yuko abana bakiri bato usanga abavyeyi babo bataza barabakuyakuya canke ngo babakorakore mu buryo bwo kubagaragariza urukundo, akenshi batamererwa neza”.

Muri Yesaya 66:12 hoho, haradondora ukuntu Imana igaragariza urukundo abasavyi bayo mu kuvuga ibintu bimwebimwe umuvyeyi agirira umwana wiwe bigaragaza urukundo amufitiye. Yezu na we nyene, igihe abigishwa biwe bagerageza kubuza abantu kuzana abana bato aho ari, yaciye abakosora ati: “Ni mureke abana bato baze aho ndi, ntimubabuze”. Maze “arabarera, arabahezagira”.​—Mariko 10:14, 16.

Ku bijanye no kubigisha imico runtu:

Mu kinyamakuru kimwe (New York Times Magazine) casohowe mu 1969, Dogoteri Bruno Bettelheim yarashimitse ku vy’uko umwana afise “uburenganzira bwo kugira ivyiyumviro vyiwe bwite, atohejwe n’ivyo [abavyeyi biwe] bamufiseko ububasha bamwigisha, ahubwo riho yisunze ivyo we ubwiwe agenda aribonera mu buzima”. Ariko rero haciye imyaka nka 30, Muganga Robert Coles, uwanditse igitabu (The Moral Intelligence of Children, co mu 1997) kivuga ivy’abana, yavuze ati: “Abana barakenera cane kwumva ko ubuzima bwabo buri n’intumbero, bagakenera no kuronka ubuyobozi bisunga, ni ukuvuga bakagira imico” bagendera yemerwa n’abavyeyi babo be n’abandi bantu bakuze.

Mu Migani 22:6 hahimiriza abavyeyi hati: “Toza umwana indero akwiye kwamana, azorinda asāza atarayivamwo”. Ijambo ry’igiheburayo ryahinduwe ngo ‘gutoza indero’ risobanura kandi “gutanguza”, muri ico canditswe rikaba ryerekeza ku gutangura kwigisha umwana akiri uruhinja. Rero abavyeyi baremeshwa gutangura kwigisha abana babo imico runtu kuva bakiri impinja (2 Timoteyo 3:14, 15). Ivyo biga muri iyo myaka baba bariko barakura bashobora kuzoguma bavyibuka.

Ku bijanye no kubahana:

Mu gitabu kimwe (The Strong-Willed Child, co mu 1978), Dogoteri James Dobson yanditse, yavuze ati: “Guhanwa n’umuvyeyi munyarukundo ni igikoresho gifasha kwigisha gituma umwana aheba ingeso mbi”. Mu kiganiro gishingiye ku nteguro igira indwi y’igitabu kizwi cane citwa Indero y’abana (mu congereza) co mu 1998, Dogoteri Benjamin Spock wewe yavuze ati: “Gukubita abana bibigisha yuko umuntu abaruta kandi abasumvya inguvu afise ububasha bwo gukora ico ashatse cose, caba kibereye canke kitabereye”.

Ku bijanye no guhana abana, Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Inkoni n’indero nziza bicisha ubgenge” (Imigani 29:15). Ariko rero, si abana bose usanga bikenerwa ko umuntu abahana mu kubakubita. Mu Migani 17:10 hagira hati: “Umuntu afise ubgenge iy’ahambariwe bimushika kure kurusha ukw inkoni ijana zishika ku gipfu”.

[Ifoto]

Nukoreshe Bibiliya kugira ngo ushikire umutima w’umwana

[Ifoto ku rup. 7]

Abavyeyi bakerebutse bararaba ukuntu abana babo boronka uturyo two kwinezereza