Igihe ivyo umuntu yari yiteze bitarangutse

MU MUBANO w’abubatse uwo ari wo wose, umuntu arashobora kugenda buhorobuhoro arabona ko ivyo yari yiteze bitariko biraranguka maze bigatuma avunika umutima. Kandi ivyo birashobora gushika naho mu gihe c’ukureshanya umusore n’umwigeme boba basa n’abahuza neza. None abantu babiri vyasa n’uko bahuza cane imbere y’uko bagiranira indagano zo kubana, bigenda gute ngo mu nyuma bihinduke ntibabe bagihuza neza?

Bibiliya ivuga yuko abashinga izabo bagira “umubabaro n’intuntu” (1 Ab’i Korinto 7:28, The New English Bible). Ayo marushwa bagira, akenshi usanga ku rugero runaka ava ku kuba ari abanyagasembwa (Abaroma 3:23). Ikigeretseko, umwe mu bubakanye canke bose uko ari babiri, bashobora kuba badashira mu ngiro ingingo ngenderwako za Bibiliya (Yesaya 48:17, 18). Ariko rero birashika umugabo canke umugore agashinga urwiwe yiteze ibintu bidashoboka. Igihe bigenze gutyo, ukutumvikana kurashobora kuvamwo ingorane zikomeye.

Kwitega ibintu bidashoboka

Nimba uri umugabo canke umugore, ushobora kuba washinze urwawe uri n’ivyo witeze, kandi ukwo ni ko bigendera abantu benshi cane. Nufate umwanya uzirikane ku buzima wari witeze kuzogira. Umubano wawe woba utameze nk’uwo wiyumvira? Nimba ari ko bimeze, ntuce wiyumvira yuko ingorane zidashobora gutorerwa umuti. Gushira mu ngiro ingingo ngenderwako za Bibiliya birashobora kugufasha gutunganya ibintu (2 Timoteyo 3:16)a. Muri ico gihe nyene, vyoba vyiza usubiye gusuzuma bimwebimwe mu vyo ushobora kuba wari witeze ku bijanye n’umubano w’abubatse.

Nk’akarorero, bamwebamwe biyumviriye yuko bamaze kwubaka bokwamye igihe cose bariko bagaragarizanya urukundo n’igishika n’uwo bubakanye, nka kurya usanga vyiganwa mu nkuru z’ivy’urukundo. Canke kumbure wiyumviriye yuko wewe n’uwo mwubakanye mwogumye muri kumwe hafi umwanya wose, kibure ko uko muri babiri mwogiye muratunganya bitagoranye ukutumvikana ukwo ari kwo kwose kwadutse, kandi mukabigira mu buryo buranga ko muhumuye. Hari abantu benshi biyumviriye yuko bamaze kwubaka bitobaye bigikenewe ko baba abantu bigumya mu bijanye n’ivy’amabanga y’abubatse. Kubera ko ivyo bintu vyose abantu benshi bitega usanga hari ukuntu bidashoboka, ntibibura gutuma abantu bamwebamwe bavunika umutima.​—Itanguriro 3:16.

Ikindi kintu kitari co abantu bitega, ni ikijanye n’ukwiyumvira yuko kwubaka ubwavyo bituma umuntu ahimbarwa. Ni ivy’ukuri yuko kuba umuntu afise uwo bubakanye bishobora gutuma agira umunezero mwinshi (Imigani 18:22; 31:10; Umusiguzi 4:9). Mugabo none, umuntu yoba akwiye kwitega ko umubano w’abubatse utorera umuti ku gitangaro ukutumvikana kwose? Abiyumvira gutyo akenshi baruhira gusanga kwari ukurota!

Igihe umuntu ataba yaraseruriye uwo bubakanye ivyo amwitezeko

Nta wovuga ko ivyo umuntu yitega vyose biba bidafise ishingiro. Ahubwo riho, hari ibintu bimwebimwe umuntu yipfuza usanga bifise ishingiro. Ariko rero, hari ibintu bimwebimwe umuntu aba yiteze bishobora gutuma haba ingorane. Umuhanuzi umwe mu bijanye n’imibano avuga ati: “Mpora mbona abubakanye bashavuranira kubera yuko umwe muri bo aba yiteze ko icipfuzo kinaka afise kiranguka, kandi mugenziwe ataba yarigeze amenya neza imbere y’igihe ibijanye n’ico cipfuzo”. Kugira ngo utahure ukuntu ivyo bishobora gushika, zirikana iki kintu gishobora kuba.

Goreti yubakanye na Gasupari, uno akaba aba kure cane y’aho Goreti avuka. Imbere y’uko bubakana, Goreti yarabonye yuko kwimukira mu karere gashasha bitomworoheye, na canecane kubera yuko asanzwe ari umuntu w’amasoni. Yamara, yari yizeye yuko Gasupari yomufashije kumenyera. Nk’akarorero, Goreti yitega ko Gasupari yogiye aramuguma iruhande akamufasha kumenyerana n’abagenzi biwe. Ariko rero, uko yavyiyumviriye si ko biriko biragenda. Igihe Gasupari aba ariko araganira n’abagenzi biwe benshi aratwarwa n’ikiyago maze agasiga Goreti, uwukimeze nk’umushitsi, ari wenyene. Ivyo bituma Goreti yumva ko ata wumwitaho akumva mbere nk’aho umengo yatawe. Aribaza ati: ‘Ni kubera iki Gasupari atanezwe ga yemwe?’.

Twovuga none yuko ivyo Goreti yari yiteze bidategereka? Haba namba. Ashaka gusa ko umugabo wiwe amufasha kumenyera ako karere gashasha be n’abakabamwo. Kubera yuko Goreti ari umunyamasoni, yumva bitamworohera kubonana n’abantu benshi cane ataramenyera. Ariko rero, Goreti ntarigera abwira Gasupari ukuntu yiyumva. Ni co gituma Gasupari atamenya ibiriko birashikira Goreti. None bizogenda gute ibintu bibandanije gutyo? Goreti arashobora gutangura kugira umwikomo, maze uko igihe kihaca agashobora kwiyumvira yuko umugabo wiwe atanezwe na gato ukuntu yiyumva.

Ushobora nawe kuba warumvise ubabaye kandi uvunitse umutima igihe uwo mwubakanye yamera nk’uwutitwararika ivyo ukeneye. None wokora iki ivyo bishitse?

Nuserurire uwo mwubakanye akakubakiye

Igihe uba witeze ibintu maze ntibiranguke, urashobora kuvunika umutima cane (Imigani 13:12). Naho ari ukwo, hari ico ushobora gukora kugira ngo ibintu bigende neza. Umugani umwe wo muri Bibiliya uvuga uti: “Urashobora kujijura abandi nimba uri inkerebutsi ukaba kandi uvugana ubwenge” (Imigani 16:23, Contemporary English Version). Nimba rero hari ikintu kinaka gitegereka wari witeze kitariko kiraranguka, nubiganire n’uwo mwubakanye.

Nugerageze guhitamwo umwanya ubereye, ikiringo kibereye be n’amajambo abereye wokoresha mu guserura akakubakiye (Imigani 25:11). Nuvuge uturuye kandi uvugane urupfasoni. Niwibuke yuko intumbero ufise atari iyo kwagiriza uwo mwubakanye, ahubwo ko ari iyo kumumenyesha ivyo umwitezeko be n’ukuntu wiyumva.​—Imigani 15:1.

Ni kubera iki none wokora ivyo? None umunega canke umukenyezi yitwararika uwo bubakanye, ntaba ashoboye kubona ivyo uwundi akeneye? Mu bisanzwe, uwo mwubakanye ashobora gusa kuba abona ibintu mu bundi buryo, ariko akaba yohimbarwa no kwitwararika ivyo ukeneye nka hamwe wobimusigurira. Kubwira uwo mwubakanye ivyo wipfuza canke ivyo ukeneye, ntivyerekana yuko umubano wanyu ugoyagoya, eka kandi ntivyerekana ko uwo mwubakanye atakunezwe.

Ku bw’ivyo rero, ntugonanwe guserurira uwo mwubakanye akakubakiye. Nk’akarorero, muri ya nkuru yavugwa yerekeye Goreti na Gasupari, Goreti yari gushobora kubwira Gasupari ati: “Mvugishije ukuri, kubonana n’abantu benshi bashasha mbona umengo ntibinyorohera. Magingo ntarumva ko nisanze, ubona woshobora kuza uramfasha kugira ngo menyane n’abantu ntaramenyera?”.

‘Niwihutire kwumva’

Ubu na ho nurabe ibintu mu bundi buryo. Dufate ko ari wewe wegerewe n’uwo mwubakanye aje kuguserurira akamubakiye, akaba ababajwe n’uko hari ikintu gitegereka akwitezeko utariko urashitsa. Igihe bigenze gutyo, niwumvirize ivyo uwo mwubakanye akubwira! Nturondere kwisigura. Ahubwo riho, ‘niwihutire kwumva, utebe kuvuga, utebe kuraka’ (Yakobo 1:19; Imigani 18:13). Intumwa Paulo yahimirije abakirisu ati: “Ntihagire umuntu ababara ivyiwe, arikw ababare ivya mugenzi we”.​—1 Ab’i Korinto 10:24.

Ivyo wobigira mu kwishira mu kibanza c’uwo mwubakanye. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Namwe bagabo n’uko, mubane n’abagore banyu nk’abazi ibibereye”. Canke twisunze uko Bibiliya yahinduwe na J. B. Phillips ibivuga, “mwebwe abagabo mukwiye kugerageza gutahura abagore mubana” (1 Petero 3:7). Ariko ntiwumve, abagore na bo nyene vyoba vyiza bagize ako kigoro nyene ku bijanye n’abagabo babo.

Niwibuke yuko naho wewe n’uwo mwubakanye mwoba muhuza gute, mudashobora kubona ibintu vyose kumwe (Raba akazitiro kavuga ngo “Bitegereza ahantu hamwe, ariko bakahabona ugutandukanye”). Mu vy’ukuri, twovuga ko ico ari ikintu ciza cane kubera yuko ari vyiza kurondera kubona ibintu ufatiye no kuntu uwundi abibona. Wewe n’uwo mwubakanye, umwe wese afise ibintu yiteze bitandukanye n’ivy’uwundi bishingiye nko ku muryango yakuriyemwo no ku mico yakuriyemwo. Ni co gituma rero mushobora kuba mukundana cane, yamara ntimube mwiteze bimwe.

Nk’akarorero, abakirisu bubakanye bashobora kuba bazi neza ingingo ngenderwako yo muri Bibiliya yerekeye ubukuru (Abanyefeso 5:22, 23). Ariko none, neza na neza ubwo bukuru buzokoreshwa gute mu muryango wanyu, kandi ni gute ukugamburuka kuzogaragazwa muri uwo muryango? Mwoba mwese muyoborwa n’iyo ngingo ngenderwako yo muri Bibiliya, kandi mwoba muriko muragira utwigoro tuvuye ku mutima kugira ngo muyikurikize?

Mushobora kandi kuba mufise ivyiyumviro bitandukanye ku bijanye n’ibindi bibazo vyo mu buzima bwa misi yose. Ni nde azokwitwararika udukorwa tunaka tw’i muhira? Ni ryari muzoza muramarana umwanya n’incuti, kandi muzomarana na zo uwungana gute? Abakirisu bubakanye bazokwerekana gute ko bariko barashira imbere ivy’Ubwami mu buzima bwabo (Matayo 6:33)? Ku bijanye n’amahera, usanga vyoroshe cane ko umuntu yinjira mw’ideni, akaba ari co gituma bihambaye ko yiga kudasesagura akongera akaba umuntu azi kuziganya. Ariko none, neza na neza bisobanura iki kuba uwudasesagura n’uwuzi kuziganya? Mukwiye kuganira mwene ivyo bibazo ata guhishanya kandi mu rupfasoni. Mubigenjeje gutyo, bizobagirira akamaro cane.

Ibiyago mwene ivyo birashobora gutuma umubano wanyu urushiriza kurangwamwo amahoro, naho gushika ubu hoba hari ibintu bimwebimwe mwari mwiteze bitararanguka. Nta gukeka yuko nimwabigenza gutyo bizorushiriza kuborohera gushira mu ngiro impanuro Paulo yatanze igira iti: “Mwihanganiran[e], muhariran[e], iy’umuntu agize ico apfa n’uwundi”.​—Ab’i Kolosayi 3:13.

[Akajambo k’epfo]

[Uruzitiro/Picture on page 10]

BITEGEREZA AHANTU HAMWE, ARIKO BAKAHABONA UGUTANDUKANYE

“Niwiyumvire ko hari umugwi w’ingenzi ziriko zitegereza ahantu hanaka habereye ijisho. Naho bose bariko bitegereza ahantu hamwe, umwe wese muri bo ahabona ukwiwe. Kubera iki? Kubera yuko mu kuhitegereza umwe wese ahagaze ahiwe, akaba ata wuhagaze neza na neza aho uwundi ahagaze. N’ikindi kandi, bose ntibituniye kuraba agace kamwe k’aho hantu. Umwe wese muri bo abona ikintu kinaka kiranga aho hantu ko ari co canecane kimushimisha. Ni ko bimeze no mu mubano w’abubatse. N’igihe abubakanye baba bahuza cane, ntibashobora kubona ibintu kumwe ijana kw’ijana. . . . Guseruriranira akari ku mutima bisaba ko abubakanye bagira akigoro ko gushira hamwe ivyo badahurizako maze bigatuma bagira ubucuti burangwa n’ukunama rimwe. Ivyo bisaba gufata umwanya wo kuyaga”.​—Umunara w’Inderetsi (mu gifaransa) wo ku wa 1 Myandagaro 1993, urupapuro rwa 4.

[Uruzitiro ku rup. 11]

IVYO USHOBORA GUKORA UBU

• Subira usuzume ivyo witeze. Vyoba bifise ishingiro? Uwo mwubakanye woba umwitezeko ibintu vyinshi birenze ibitegereka?​—Ab’i Filipi 2:4; 4:5, NW.

• Nugerageze guhindura ibintu ivyo ari vyo vyose witeze bidashoboka. Nk’akarorero, aho kuvuga uti: “Ntihazokwigera haba ukutumvikana hagati yacu”, niwiyemeze ko uzokora uko ushoboye kwose kugira ngo mutorere umuti mu mahoro ukutumvikana kuzokwaduka.​—Abanyefeso 4:32.

• Nimuganire ivyo umwumwe wese yiteze. Guseruriranira akari ku mutima ni kimwe mu bintu bihambaye bifasha abubakanye kwiga kugaragarizanya urukundo n’icubahiro.​—Abanyefeso 5:33.

[Ifoto ku rup. 9]

‘Niwihutire kwumva’ ibiraje ishinga uwo mwubakanye