Ni ibiki nokwitega mu mubano w’ababiranye?—Igice ca 1

NK’UKO ushobora kuba ubibona, amajambo ari aho haruguru yavuzwe n’umwigeme atarubaka urwiwe, ayari aho ibubamfu na yo avugwa n’uwumaze kurushinga. Ico ushobora kuba utazi ni uko yose yavuzwe n’umuntu umwe.

None ingorane yabaye iyihe? Nimba wipfuza kwubaka urwawe umusi uri izina, wokora iki kugira ngo ivyo witeze ku wo mukundana ntibize vyonone umubano wanyu?

Ico womenya: Agahimbare ugira mu mubano ahanini kavana n’ivyo uba uwitezemwo.

Iki kiganiro “Urwaruka ruribaza” be n’ikizosohoka muri Be maso! yo mu kwezi kuza bizogufasha kwitega ibintu vyumvikana.

Ni ibintu vyumvikana ibihe wokwitega mu mubano w’ababiranye? Muri make:

1. Niwitege ivyiza

2. Niwitege ingorane

3. Niwitege gushikirwa n’ivyo utari witeze

Reka twihweze kimwekimwe muri ivyo bintu.

NIWITEGE IVYIZA

Bibiliya ivuga ko umubano ari ikintu ciza. (Imigani 18:22) Ng’ibi ivyiza bimwebimwe ushobora kwitega.

Kuronka umugenzi. Bibiliya ivuga ko haciye igihe kinaka wa mugabo wa mbere Adamu aremwe, Imana yavuze iti: “Si vyiza ko uyu muntu aguma ari wenyene.” Yaciye irema Eva ngo abe umugenzi wa Adamu. (Itanguriro 2:18) Umwe wese muri bo Imana yamuremanye kamere yisangije ku buryo bari batandukanye yamara bagahuza. Ku bw’ivyo, umugabo n’umugore baba ari abagenzi nyabo.—Imigani 5:18.

Kuronka uwo mufashanya. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Babiri baruta umwe, kuko bafise impera nziza ku bw’igikorwa cabo c’ubutame.” (Umusiguzi 4:9) Ukwo ni ko bimeze mu mubano w’ababiranye. Umukenyezi aherutse kurushinga yitwa Brenda avuga ati: “Bisaba gusenyera ku mugozi umwe, kwicisha bugufi no guhebera uwundi rimwe na rimwe.”a

Amabanga y’abubatse. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umugabo ahe umugore wiwe ivy’akwiye, kand’umugore na we abigenze artyo ku mugabo wiwe.” (1 Abakorinto 7:3, Bibiliya Yera) Igihe wubatse urwawe, urashobora kurangura amabanga y’abubatse ata guhagarika umutima canke kwicuza nk’uko bikunze gushikira abahuza ibitsina batarabirana.—Imigani 7:22, 23; 1 Abakorinto 7:8, 9.

Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Umubano w’ababiranye ni ingabirano iva ku Mana. (Yakobo 1:17) Igihe mubayeho mwisunga ingingo ngenderwako zayo, umubano wanyu urashobora gutuma muronka agahimbare kenshi.

Ico ukwiye kuzirikanako: Woba wiyumvira nabi umubano w’ababiranye kubera ibintu bibi wabonye, kumbure mu muryango iwanyu? Nimba ari ko biri, ni bande bokubera uturorero twiza woshima kwigana?

NIWITEGE INGORANE

Bibiliya irerekana ko umubano utaburamwo ingorane. (1 Abakorinto 7:28) Ng’izi ingorane zimwezimwe wokwitega.

Ukutumvikana. Nta bantu babiri bameze kumwe ijana kw’ijana, uretse ko bose badatunganye. (Abaroma 3:23) Naho rero umugabo n’umugore boba bahuza gute, karacamwo ntibumvikane. Vyoshobora no gushika bakavuga amajambo ababaza, mu nyuma bakicuza. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Uwudatsitara mw’ijambo, uyo ni umuntu atagira akanenge.” (Yakobo 3:2) Abubakanye baroranirwa si abagerageza kwirinda ukutumvikana ukwo ari kwo kwose, ahubwo ni abiga kuganira ku ngorane igihe zivyutse maze bakazitorera umuti.

Ukuvunika umutima. Umwigeme yitwa Karen avuga ati: “Turakunze kubona amasenema n’ibiganiro vyo kuri televiziyo aho umukobwa akundana n’umuhungu bitwa ngo barahuza muri vyose, agaca yiberaho ibihe vyose ahimbawe.” Igihe abubakanye bitabagendeye gutyo, bose boshobora gutangara. Mu vy’ukuri, inyuma y’ukwabirana, umwe wese arabona ku wundi utunenge n’utugeso atari yarabonye. Icobafasha ni ukwibuka ko urukundo nyakuri “rwihanganira vyose,” mbere n’ibintu bivuna umutima.—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 7.

Amaganya. Bibiliya ivuga ko abubakanye “[b]aganyishwa n’ivy’isi.” (1 Abakorinto 7:33, 34) Ivyo ni ibisanzwe, kandi akenshi usanga vyumvikana. Nk’akarorero, vyoshobora kubagora kuronka ivyankenerwa. Hari aho vyoba ngobwa ko bompi bakora akazi, ayo baronka akaba ayo kuriha gusa ibifungurwa, ivyambarwa n’uburaro. Ariko murashobora kuroranirwa musenyeye ku mugozi umwe kugira mutunge umuryango.—1 Timoteyo 5:8.

Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Nimba kureshanya twobigereranya n’ukwoga mu kidengeri, kwabirana vyovyo ni nk’ukwoga mu kiyaga c’imikuba. Uzokenera ubuhanga n’akigoro vyiyongereye kugira utorere umuti ingorane, ariko urashobora kuroranirwa.

Ico ukwiye kuzirikanako: Iyo utumvikanye n’abavyeyi bawe canke abo muvukana, uvyifatamwo gute ubu? Iyo ibintu bitagenze nk’uko wari uvyiteze, woba uca wihebura? Uvyifatamwo gute uri mu maganya?