IKIGABANE CA 1

Noba ngeze kurondera uwo dukundana?

“Ibinyosha kurondera uwo dukundana biruzuye. Imisore myizamyiza na yo nyene iruzuye.”—Whitney.

“Hari abakobwa bandemera nkumva nokwemera. Ariko hamwe nobaza abavyeyi, inyishu bompa ndayizi.”—Phillip.

ICIPFUZO co kugira umuntu ukunda na we akagukunda kirashobora kuba igikomeye cane, mbere n’igihe umuntu aba akiri umwana. Uwitwa Jenifer yigana ati: “Natanguye kwumva icipfuzo co kurondera uwo dukundana mfise imyaka 11.” Uwitwa Brittany na we avuga ati: “Kw’ishure, umengo nturi umuntu igihe udafise uwo mukundana, uko yoba ari kwose!”

Weho bite? Woba ugeze kurondera uwo mukundana? Kugira turonke inyishu y’ico kibazo, turakeneye kubanza kwishura ikindi kibazo gihambaye cane:

Ni ryari wovuga ko mukundanye n’umuntu?

Shira akamenyetso ku nyishu wotanga ku bibazo bikurikira:

Wama usohokana n’umuntu kanaka mudasangiye igitsina. Wovuga ko mukundanye?

□ Ego

□ Oya

Hari umuntu mudasangiye igitsina mwiyumvanamwo. Muguma mwandikiranira ubutumwa canke muvugana kuri telefone kenshi ku musi. Wovuga ko mukundanye?

□ Ego

□ Oya

Igihe cose muhuriye hamwe n’abagenzi, uca wiyegereza wa muntu nyene mudasangiye igitsina. Wovuga ko mukundanye?

□ Ego

□ Oya

Birashoboka rwose ko bitakugoye kwishura ikibazo ca mbere. Ariko ushobora kuba wabanje gufata akanya kugira wishure ica kabiri n’ica gatatu. None neza na neza ugukundana ni iki? Mu bisanzwe, gukundana n’umuntu ni ukuba mufitaniye imigenderanire y’ivy’urukundo kandi mukaba mwiyumvanamwo bimwe bidasanzwe. Rero, inyishu kuri ivyo bibazo bitatu vyose ni ego. Nimba ufise umugenzi mudasangiye igitsina wiyumvamwo na we akakwiyumvamwo kandi mukama muyaga kuri telefone canke amaso mu yandi, haba ku mugaragaro canke mw’ibanga, muba mukundanye. None woba witeguriye kwemera iryo banga? Kwihweza ibibazo bitatu bikurikira biragufasha kumenya ko witeguye.

Ufise intumbero iyihe?

Mu mico kama itari mike, kugenderanira n’uwo mudasangiye igitsina ni uburyo bwemewe bufasha abantu babiri kurushiriza kumenyana. Ariko rero bikwiye kuba bifise intumbero iteye iteka, ni ukuvuga gufasha umusore n’inkumi kumenya ko bashaka kwubakana koko.

Ego ni ko, bamwebamwe mu runganwe rwawe boshobora kudafatana uburemere ico kintu. Hari aho boba baryoherwa gusa no kuba bari kumwe n’umugenzi adasanzwe badasangiye igitsina, ata ntumbero namba yo kwubakana bafise. Hari n’aboshobora kubona mwene uwo mugenzi nk’igisharizo gusa co kuryako ifyeri mu bantu kugira babemere. Ariko rero akenshi, ubucuti mwene ubwo budafashe bumara umwanya urume rumara. Umwigeme yitwa Alice avuga ati: “Abakiri bato benshi baja mu vyo gukundana baca bahebana mu ndwi imwe canke zibiri. Babona ko ubucuti mwene ubwo ari ubw’akanya gato, ivyo akaba ari nk’aho bibategurira kwahukana aho kubategurira kwubaka urwabo.”

Mu vy’ukuri, igihe ukundanye n’umuntu, biragira ico bikoze ku nyiyumvo ziwe. Ni co gituma ukwiye kwiyemeza neza ko umukunda ufise intumbero iteye iteka. Zirikana gatoyi: Woba woshima ko umuntu akinisha inyiyumvo zawe nka kurya umwana akinisha agakinisho umwanya mutoyi, bidatevye agaca agaheba? Uwukiri muto yitwa Cynthia avuga ati: “Hari igihe niyumvira ko gukundana n’umuntu ari ukwikinira gusa, ariko ntikuba ari ukwikinira namba igihe umwe abifatana uburemere uwundi na we akabifata minenegwe.”

Ufise imyaka ingahe?

Wibaza ko umuntu akwiye gutangura kurondera uwo bakundana ku myaka ingahe? ․․․․․

Ubu na ho baza ico kibazo nyene umwe mu bavyeyi bawe canke bompi, maze wandike inyishu baguhaye. ․․․․․

Hari aho igitigiri ca mbere wanditse coba ari gitoyi ku ca kabiri, canke ugasanga si ko biri! Ushobora kuba uri umwe mu bakiri bato benshi b’inkerebutsi baba barabangiriye kurondera uwo bakundana gushika bamaze gukura bihagije ku buryo bimenya neza. Ivyo ni vyo uwitwa Danielle w’imyaka 17 yahisemwo gukora. Avuga ati: “Mu myaka ibiri iheze, ivyo nari kurondera mu wo twokwubakana vyari bitandukanye cane n’ivyo nomuronderamwo ubu. Mvugishije ukuri, n’ubu numva ntariyizigira ku buryo nofata iyo ngingo. Ninabona ivyiyumviro vyanje bimaze imyaka nk’ingahe bidahindagurika, nzoheza niyumvire ivyo kurondera uwo dukundana.”

Hariho iyindi mpamvu ituma kurindira biba ibiranga ubukerebutsi. Bibiliya ikoresha imvugo ngo “ishurika ry’ubuto” mu kudondora ikiringo inyiyumvo mu vy’igitsina no mu vy’urukundo zitangura kuba izikomeye. (1 Abakorinto 7:36) Kubandanya mufitaniye ubucuti bwa hafi n’umuntu kanaka mudasangiye igitsina kandi ukiri muri ico kiringo vyoshobora gutuma ivyipfuzo birurumba, bigatuma ugwa mu nyifato mbi. Ego ni ko, hari aho wosanga ivyo ata co bitwaye ku bo mu runganwe rwawe. Abenshi muri bo usanga bashashaye cane kuryamana n’abo badasangiye igitsina. Ariko rero, urashobora kurengera ivyiyumviro mwene ivyo! (Abaroma 12:2) Nkako, Bibiliya iguhimiriza ‘guhunga ubusambanyi.’ (1 Abakorinto 6:18) Urindiriye gushika urenganye ishurika ry’ubuto, urashobora ‘kwigiza ivyago kure’ yawe.—Umusiguzi 11:10.

Woba ugeze kwubaka urwawe?

Kugira tugufashe kwishura ico kibazo, niwisuzume utibesha. Rimbura ibintu bikurikira:

Imigenderanire. Ufata gute abavyeyi bawe be n’abo muvukana? Vyoba akenshi bikugora kubihanganira, kumbure ukarinda gukoresha amajambo akaze canke ababaza kugira userure iciyumviro? Uwobabaza bobivugako iki? Ukuntu ufata abo mu muryango birerekana ukuntu uzofata uwo muzokwubakana.—Soma Abanyefeso 4:31.

Inyifato. Woba uri umuntu yizigira canke yihebura ningoga? Woba ugira ibitegereka canke wama imisi yose usaba ushimitse ko ibintu bigenda nk’uko wewe ushaka? Woba ushobora kuguma utekanye igihe uri mu bintu bishusha umutwe? Woba uri umuntu yihangana? Gutsimbataza icamwa c’impwemu y’Imana bizogutegura kugira uzobe umunega canke umukenyezi abushitse.—Soma Abagalatiya 5:22, 23.

Amahera. Ukoresha gute amahera? Woba wama mu madeni? Woba ushobora kurambira mu kazi? Nimba utabishobora, bitumwa n’iki? Vyoba bitumwa n’ako kazi ubwako canke umukoresha wawe? Vyoba bitumwa n’ingeso kanaka ukeneye guhindura? Nimba bikugora gukoresha neza amahera yawe bwite, wumva uzoshobora gute gukoresha neza ay’umuryango?—Soma 1 Timoteyo 5:8.

Ibijanye n’ugusenga. Nimba uri Icabona ca Yehova, ubucuti ufitaniye n’Imana bumeze gute? Woba wibwiriza gusoma Ijambo ry’Imana, kuja kuvuga ubutumwa no kugira uruhara mu makoraniro ya gikirisu? Erega uwo muzokwubakana akeneye kubana n’umuntu akunda Imana cane.—Soma Umusiguzi 4:9, 10.

Ico ushobora gukora

Gushirwako umukazo ngo ukundane n’umuntu hataragera ni nko guhatwa ngo ukore ikibazo cerekeye icigwa ari ho ugitangura kuciga. Birumvikana ko ako koba ari akarenganyo! Urakeneye umwanya wo kwiga ico cigwa kugira ngo umenye ibintu ushobora kuzobazwa muri ico kibazo.

No gukundana n’umuntu ni ko bimeze. Nk’uko twamaze kubibona, si ikintu co gufyinisha. Ku bw’ivyo, imbere y’uko utangura gukundana n’umuntu kanaka, urakeneye gufata umwanya wo kwiga icigwa gihambaye cane co kugiranira ubugenzi n’abandi. Mu nyuma, niwaronka uwo muberanye, uzoba ushoboye kugiranira na we ubucuti buramba. Nakare umubano w’abubakanye mwiza uba ugizwe n’abantu babiri bakundana vy’ukuri.

Kuba uratenyenye ntibizokubuza umwidegemvyo. Ahubwo nyabuna bizotuma urushiriza kugira umwidegemvyo wo ‘kunezerwa mu buto bwawe.’ (Umusiguzi 11:9) Vyongeye, bizotuma uronka umwanya wo kwitegura mu kuryohora kamere zawe. Igihambaye kuruta, bizotuma ukomeza ubucuti ufitaniye n’Imana.—Gucura intimba 3:27.

Mu kurindira, urashobora guhimbarwa no kwifatanya n’abo mudasangiye igitsina. None uburyo bwiza bwo kubigira ni ubuhe? Niwifatanye na bo muri mu migwi irimwo abahungu n’abakobwa kandi icungerewe neza. Umwigeme yitwa Tammy avuga ati: “Nibaza ko ari ho biryoshe kuruta. Ni vyiza kugira abagenzi benshi.” Monika ivyo aravyemera. Avuga ati: “Guhurira hamwe mu mugwi ni vyiza cane kubera ko bituma ubonana n’abantu bafise kamere zitandukanye.”

Ariko rero, niwatangura ivyo gukundana n’umuntu hataragera, uzoba uriko urikwegera kuvunika umutima. Ntiwihutagize rero. Nukoreshe iyo myaka urimwo mu kwiga kugiranira ubugenzi n’abandi no kubukomeza. Mu nyuma, niwashima kurondera uwo mukundana, uzoba uzi neza uko umeze be n’ico uzoba witeze kuri uwo muntu ushaka ko mubana ubuzima bwose.

RABA N’AYANDI MAKURU MU GITABU CA 1, IKIGABANE CA 29 N’ICA 30

ICANDITSWE NYAMUKURU

“Umunyabwenge ararimbura intambuko ziwe.”—Imigani 14:15.

IMPANURO

Kugira witegurire kurondera uwo mukundana no kwubaka urwawe, soma 2 Petero 1:5-7 maze uhitemwo kamere imwe ukeneye kuryohora. Haciye ukwezi, nurabe ivyo umaze kumenya ku bijanye n’iyo kamere n’aho ugejeje mu kuyiryohora.

WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Ivyigwa vyinshi vyagizwe vyerekana ko abantu bubakana batarakwiza imyaka 20 bishoboka ko baba bahukanye mu myaka itanu.

ICO NTEGEKANYA GUKORA!

Kugira nitegurire kwubaka urwanje, nkwiye gutsimbataza kamere zikurikira: ․․․․․

Nzozitsimbataza mu gukora ibi: ․․․․․

Ico noshima kubaza umuvyeyi wanje (abavyeyi banje) kuri ivyo ni ․․․․․

UVYIBAZAKO IKI?

● Ni mu bihe bibereye ibihe ushobora kwifatanya n’abo mudasangiye igitsina?

● Uwo muvukana ashaka kuja mu vyo gukundana ataragera womufasha gute kuzirikana?

● Hamwe wokundana n’umuntu ata ntumbero yo kwubaka ufise, vyoshobora gute kugira ico bikoze ku nyiyumvo ziwe?

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 18]

“Niyumvira yuko ukwiye gukundana n’umuntu igihe umushima vy’ukuri ukaba kandi ubona ko mushobora kuzobana. Ico gihe uba ukunze umuntu, ntikuba ari ugufyina.”—Ambre

[Ifoto ku rup. 16, 17]

Ugiye mu vyo gukundana ata mugambi ufise wo kwubaka, uba umeze nk’umwana akinisha agakinisho gashasha mu nyuma agaca agata

IKIGABANE CA 3

Twoba tuberanye?

Fata akanya wishure utu tubazo:

Ubu ni kamere izihe ubona ko uwo mwokwubakana akwiye kuba afise? Muri izo ziri aho hepfo, nushire aka kamenyetso ✔ iruhande ya kamere zine ubona ko zihambaye kuruta izindi.

□ Ubwiza □ Ugukunda Imana

□ Umutima mwiza □ Ubwizigirwa

□ Ukumenyekana □ Ingeso nziza

□ Ugutwenza □ Ukwishingira imigambi

Ukiri muto, woba warigeze kwishiramwo umuntu kanaka? Muri kamere ziri aho haruguru, nushire aka kamenyetso × iruhande ya kamere yiwe yagukwegereye kuruta izindi ico gihe.

MURI izo kamere zavuzwe nta n’imwe ari mbi. Imwe yose muri zo irafise ico umuntu yoyishima. Ariko none, ntiwemera ko igihe uwukiri muto yishizemwo umuntu, usanga yirabira canecane ibiboneka inyuma, nka birya biri mu nkingi y’ibubamfu?

Ariko rero, umaze gukura uca utangura gukoresha ububasha bwawe bwo gutegera ukarimbura ibintu bihambaye kuruta, nka birya biri mu nkingi y’iburyo. Nk’akarorero, uca utahura ko umukobwa asa n’irirenga kuruta abandi mu kibano iwanyu ashobora kuba atari umwizigirwa, canke ko umuhungu azwi kuruta abandi kw’ishure iwanyu ashobora kuba adafise ingeso nziza. Nimba umaze kurengana ishurika ry’ubuto, nta gukeka ko utirabira canecane ibiboneka inyuma igihe urondera inyishu y’iki kibazo: “Twoba tuberanye?”

Nubanze wimenye

Imbere yo kurimbura uwo mushobora kuba muberanye uwo ari we, ukwiye kubanza kwimenya neza. Kugira urushirize kumenya uko uri, niwishure ibibazo bikurikira:

Kamere nziza mfise ni izihe? ․․․․․

Utunenge mfise ni utuhe? ․․․․․

Nipfuza kugiranira n’Imana imigenderanire imeze gute kandi nipfuza ko uwo twokwubakana yomfata gute? ․․․․․

Kwimenya si icoroshe, ariko ivyo bibazo birashobora kubigufashamwo. Uko uzorushiriza kwimenya ni ko uzokworoherwa no kuronka umuntu azogufasha gutsimbataza kamere nziza ufise aho kwunyura utunenge twawe.a Bite ho nimba wiyumvira ko umaze kuronka uwo muntu?

Woba uberanye n’uwo ari we wese?

“Nipfuza ko twoba abagenzi.” Ayo majambo yoshobora gutuma unyinyirwa canke ugira akanyamuneza bivanye n’uwuyakubwiye. Dufate ko umwemereye. None uko igihe kihaca, woshobora gute kumenya ko uwo muntu muberanye?

Dufate ko ugomba kugura ibirato bishasha. Uragiye mw’isoko, ubonye ibirato maze wumva urabishimye. Uravyigeze ariko usanze ari bito. None woca ukora iki? Woca upfa kubigura canke woca urondera ibindi? Birumvikana ko vyoba vyiza uretse ivyo birato ukarondera ibindi. Ntivyoba vyumvikana wemeye kugenda wambaye ibirato bikurya!

No guhitamwo uwo muzokwubakana bimeze ukwo nyene. Uko igihe kihaca, woshobora kugomwa abantu batari bake mudasangiye igitsina. Ariko si uwo ari we wese muzoba muberanye. Nakare, wipfuza kuronka umuntu muzobana neza, umuntu muhuza vy’ukuri muri kamere no mu migambi. (Itanguriro 2:18; Matayo 19:4-6) Woba umaze kuronka umuntu nk’uwo? Nimba umaze kumuronka, womenya gute ko muberanye?

Nturabe ibiboneka inyuma gusa

Kugira uronke inyishu y’ico kibazo ca nyuma, niwihweze uwo muntu mukundana utibesha. Ariko rero uraba maso! Hari aho wohava ubona gusa ivyo ushaka kubona. Nufate umwanya uhagije rero, ugerageze kumenya ingene uwo muntu ameze vy’ukuri. Ivyo bizogusaba akigoro, ariko ni ibisanzwe. Reka tubitangire akarorero: Dufate ko ugomba kugura umuduga. Wowusuzuma ku rugero rungana gute? Ubwo woraba gusa ingene usa inyuma? Ntivyoba vyiza usuzumye n’ibindi bintu bihambaye, kumbure ukarondera kumenya vyinshi bishoboka ku bijanye n’ingene imoteri yawo imeze?

Guhitamwo uwo mwokwubakana birahambaye cane kuruta guhitamwo umuduga. Yamara rero, abantu benshi bakundana birabira gusa ibiboneka inyuma. Usanga bihutira kubona ibintu bahuriyeko, nk’akarorero bakavuga bati: ‘Dukunda imiziki imwe.’ ‘Dukunda gukora ibintu bimwe.’ ‘Turahuza muri vyose!’ Ariko nk’uko twamaze kubivuga, igihe umaze kurengana ishurika ry’ubuto, nturaba ibiboneka inyuma gusa. Urabona ko bikenewe gutahura “umuntu ahishijwe wo mu mutima.”—1 Petero 3:4; Abanyefeso 3:16.

Nk’akarorero, aho kwibanda ku kuntu muhuza, mwoshobora kurushiriza kumenyana muravye ingene bigende iyo mudahuje. Mu yandi majambo, uwo muntu avyifatamwo gute iyo mudahuje? Yoba akovya ngo ibintu bigende nk’uko we ashaka, kumbure agatwarwa n’“ishavu” canke ‘agatukana’? (Abagalatiya 5:19, 20; Abakolosayi 3:8) Canke yoba akora ibitegereka, akemera kwiyorosha kugira azigame amahoro igihe atari ikintu gisaba gukora ibitabereye?—Yakobo 3:17.

Ibindi bintu utokwirengagiza ni ibi: Uwo muntu yoba akuryosharyosha ngo ukore ivyo ashaka, arondera kukwifatira canke afuha? Yoba ashaka kumenya akantu kose ukora? Uwitwa Nicole avuga ati: “Mpora numva abantu bakundanye baguma baryana kubera ko umwe muri bo adashobora kwihangana iyo uwundi atagumye amubwira ivyo arimwo. Nibaza ko aho haba hariho agahaze.”—1 Abakorinto 13:4.

Ivyo bintu duhejeje kuvuga vyerekeye canecane kamere n’inyifato. Ariko rero, biranahambaye ko umenya uko uwo muntu mukundana azwi. Abandi bamuzi gute? Woshobora kubaza abamuzi kuva kera, nk’abantu bahumuye bo mw’ishengero. Muri ubwo buryo, uzomenya ko yoba ‘avugwa neza.’—Ivyakozwe 16:1, 2.

Woshobora kurushiriza kumenya uwo muntu hamwe wokwandika uko ivyiwe vyifashe mu bijanye n’iyo mice tumaze gusuzuma gushika ubu.

Kamere ․․․․․

Inyifato ․․․․․

Ukuntu azwi ․․․․․

Kurimbura uruzitiro ruvuga ngo “Ubwo azombera umunega mwiza?” ruri ku rupapuro rwa 39, canke uruvuga ngo “Ubwo azombera umukenyezi mwiza?” ruri ku rupapuro rwa 40, na vyo nyene vyoshobora kugufasha. Ibibazo birimwo bizogufasha kumenya nimba uwo muntu azokubera umunega canke umukenyezi mwiza.

Umaze gusuzuma ivyo bintu, vyogenda gute hamwe wosanga uwo muntu mushobora kuba mutaberanye? Muri ico gihe, uzoba uhanganye n’iki kibazo kitoroshe:

Twoba dukwiye guhagarika ubucuti?

Rimwe na rimwe biraba vyiza muhagaritse ubucuti. Rimbura ivyashikiye umwigeme yitwa Jill. Avuga ati: “Mu ntango vyarandyohera kubona umukunzi wanje yaguma ambaza aho ndi, ico ndiko ndakora be n’abo turi kumwe. Ariko vyarashitse aho ata wundi twashobora kumarana umwanya atari we gusa. Mbere yarafuha igihe naba maranye umwanya n’umuryango wanje, na canecane papa. Igihe nahagarika ubucuti twari dufitaniye, numvise umengo ndemuruwe umutwaro uremereye!”

Uwitwa Sara na we nyene yarashikiwe n’ikintu nk’ico. Yaratanguye kubona ko umusore bakundana yitwa John yari umuntu ahemana, agoye gushimisha kandi atagira urupfasoni. Sara avuga ati: “Igihe kimwe yaraje i muhira yacerewe amasaha atatu! Igihe mama yaja kumwugururira, nta n’ico yamuvugishije, ahubwo yaciye avuga ngo: ‘Ingo tugende, twacerewe.’ Aho kuvuga ngo ‘Nacerewe,’ yavuze ngo ‘Twacerewe.’ Yari akwiye gusaba ikigongwe canke agasigura icatumye acererwa. N’iyo apfuma agaragariza icubahiro mama hoho!” Ego ni ko, gaciyemwo umuntu agakora ikintu kikubabaza canke akaba afise akanenge kanaka, si ngombwa ngo muce muhagarika ubucuti mwari mufitaniye. (Zaburi 130:3) Ariko rero igihe Sara yabona ko John yari afise ingeso yo kubura urupfasoni, yaciye afata ingingo yo guhagarika ubwo bucuti.

Nk’uko vyashikiye Jill na Sara, wokora iki hamwe wobona ko uwo mukundana atokubera umunega canke umukenyezi mwiza? Nimba ari ukwo biri, ntuhatireko! Vyoba vyiza uhagaritse ubwo bucuti naho bitoroshe kwemera. Mu Migani 22:3 hagira hati: “Umunyabwenge ni uwubonye ivyago akihisha.” Nimba nk’akarorero uwo muntu agaragaje ikimenyetso kimwe canke ibirenga mu bimenyetso bibi dusanga ku rupapuro rwa 39 n’urwa 40, vyoba vyiza muhagaritse ubwo bucuti, n’imiburiburi gushika akosoye iyo ngorane. Ni ivy’ukuri ko guhagarika ubucuti vyoshobora kuba ibitoroshe. Ariko uribuka ko umubano ari ubucuti bwamaho. Wopfuma umara igihe gito ubabaye ubu hako uzomara ubuzima bwawe bwose wicuza!

Ingene wobimubwira

Wobigenza gute mu guhagarika ubwo bucuti? Ubwa mbere, nuhitemwo ikibanza kibereye mwobiyagiramwo. None ico coba nk’ikihe? Niwiyumvire ukuntu wewe woshima gufatwa mu gihe nk’ico. (Matayo 7:12) Ivyo ari vyo vyose ntiwoshima ko abikubwirira mu bantu. Kiretse igihe gusa vyoba bikenewe, ntivyoba vyiza ubimubwiriye kuri telefone canke umwandikiye ubutumwa kuri telefone kibure kuri Internet. Ahubwo nuhitemwo umwanya n’ikibanza bizotuma muganira neza ico kibazo c’inkoramutima.

None hageze ko ugira ico uvuze ukwiye kuvuga iki? Intumwa Paulo yahimirije abakirisu ‘kuvugana ukuri.’ (Abanyefeso 4:25) Uburyo bwiza kuruta ubundi rero, ni uguhitamwo neza ivyo uvuga ariko ugashikama. Nutomore igituma wewe ubona ko ubwo bucuti ata co buzovamwo. Ntibikenewe ko umudondagurira amakosa akora canke ko uvuga amajambo menshi yo kumunebagura. Aho kuvuga ngo “Ntugira” ibi n’ibi canke “Ntiwigera” ukora ibi n’ibi, vyoba vyiza kuruta ukoresheje amajambo ashimika ku kuntu wiyumva, nk’akarorero uti: “Nipfuza umuntu . . .” canke “Nibaza ko ubu bucuti bwohagarara kubera yuko . . .”

Ico ntikiba ari igihe co kwijijanya imitima canke co gutwarwa n’ivyiyumviro vy’uwo wundi muntu. Uribuka ko wahisemwo guhagarika ubwo bucuti ubitumwe n’imvo ikomeye. Uraba maso rero igihe uwo mugenzi wawe agerageje kukuryosharyosha ngo uhindure ivyiyumviro. Umwigeme yitwa Lori avuga ati: “Maze guhagarika ubucuti twari dufitaniye n’uwo twakundana, yaciye atangura kwirwaza akabonge. Nibaza ko yabigira kugira ndamwumvire akagongwe. Ego ni ko vyarambabaza, ariko sinaretse ngo bihindure ingingo nari nafashe.” Nk’ukwo kwa Lori, numenye intumbero yawe kandi wumire ku ngingo wafashe. Oya yawe nibe oya.—Yakobo 5:12.

Ingaruka zavyo

Ntutangare bishitse ukamara igihe ubabaye cane inyuma yo guhagarika ubwo bucuti. Woshobora mbere kwumva umerewe nk’uko umwanditsi wa Zaburi yari amerewe, uwavuze ati: “Nataye umutwe, nagondamye bihebuje; ngendagenda nijiriwe bukarinda bwira.” (Zaburi 38:6) Abagenzi bamwebamwe biyumvira ko bakwipfuriza ineza boshobora kugerageza kugufasha mu kukuremesha ngo usubire kumugeza irya nyuma. Ariko rero uragaba! Ni wewe uzokwikorera ingaruka z’ingingo uzoba wafashe, si abo bagenzi bawe. Ntutinye rero gushikama naho woshobora kwumva ubabajwe n’ivyashitse.

Numenye udakeka yuko umubabaro ufise uzoteba ugahera. Mu kurindira, ubona gute ukoze ibi bintu bikurikira kugira bigufashe kwihangana?

Nuyagire umugenzi wizigiye ukuntu wiyumva.b (Imigani 15:22) Nubwire Yehova ibijanye n’ico kintu mw’isengesho. (Zaburi 55:22) Nugume ufise vyinshi ukora. (1 Abakorinto 15:58) Ntiwigungire ukwawe! (Imigani 18:1) Nusubire kwifatanya udatebaganye n’abantu bazokuremesha. Nugerageze kugumiza ivyiyumviro vyawe ku bintu vyiza.—Abafilipi 4:8.

Haciye igihe, woshobora kuronka uwundi muntu mukundana. Nta gukeka ko uzoba wamaze kumenya utuntu n’utundi. Kumbure ico gihe uzoshobora kwibaza uti: “Twoba tuberanye?” maze wishure uti: Ego!

RABA N’AYANDI MAKURU MU GITABU CA 1, IKIGABANE CA 31

[Utujambo tw’epfo]

ICANDITSWE NYAMUKURU

“Mbere biciye ku ngeso ziwe, umwana aramenyekana ko ivyo akora vyoba bityoroye kandi bigororotse.”—Imigani 20:11.

IMPANURO

Nimugire uruhara mu bikorwa bituma murushiriza kumenyana:

● Nimwigire hamwe Ijambo ry’Imana.

● Umwe wese niyihweze uwundi igihe mugira uruhara ku makoraniro y’ishengero no mu gikorwa co kwamamaza.

● Nimugire uruhara mu gusukura Ingoro y’Ubwami no mu bwubatsi.

WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Amatohoza yama yerekana ko abantu bubakana badasangiye idini bishoboka cane ko impera n’imperuka bahukana.

ICO NTEGEKANYA GUKORA!

Ninatangura kwiyumvamwo umuntu tudasangiye ukwizera, nzoca ․․․․․

Kugira menye ukuntu uwo dukundana azwi, noshobora ․․․․․

Ico noshima kubaza umuvyeyi wanje (abavyeyi banje) kuri ivyo ni ․․․․․

UVYIBAZAKO IKI?

● Ni kamere nziza izihe ufise zotuma umubano wanyu uroranirwa?

● Ni kamere ntahara izihe worondera mu wo muzokwubakana?

● Ni ingorane zitoroshe izihe zishobora kwaduka wubakanye n’uwo mudasangiye ukwizera?

● Ni mu buryo ubuhe worushiriza kumenya kamere n’inyifato vy’uwo mukundana be n’ukuntu azwi?

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 37]

“Uko uwo mukundana afata umuryango wiwe ni ko azogufata na wewe.”—Tony

[Uruzitiro ku rup. 34]

‘Ntimuboherwe ku ngǒgo imwe’

“Ntimuboherwe ku ngǒgo hamwe n’abatemera.” Ushobora kuba ubona ko iyo ngingo ngenderwako dusanga mu 2 Abakorinto 6:14 ari ngirakamaro. Naho ari ukwo, woshobora kwumva ukunze umuntu atizera. Uti kubera iki? Rimwe na rimwe, ushobora gukwegerwa gusa n’ukuntu uwo muntu aboneka inyuma. Umuhungu yitwa Mark avuga ati: “Narakunda kubonana n’uwo mukobwa turiko turinonora imitsi kw’ishure. Yaribwiriza akaza kunyagisha. Vyari vyoroshe ko tugiranira ubucuti.”

Nimba wiyizi, ukaba udakekeranya ku vyo wemera kandi ukaba uhumuye bihagije ku buryo udatwarwa n’inyiyumvo zawe, uzomenya ico wokora. Mu vy’ukuri, uwo muntu naho yoba ari mwiza gute canke akaba asa n’uwufise ingeso nziza, ntazogufasha gukomeza ubucuti ufitaniye n’Imana.—Yakobo 4:4.

Birumvikana ko bitoroshe guhagarika ubucuti igihe mumaze gukundana. Umwigeme yitwa Cindy ivyo yaravyiboneye. Avuga ati: “Nta musi wijana ntarize. Naguma niyumvira uwo muhungu, mbere no ku makoraniro ya gikirisu. Naramukunda cane ku buryo nabona ko nopfuma mpfa hako ndamuheba.” Ariko bidatevye, Cindy yarabonye ko impanuro nyina yamuhaye ku bijanye no gukundana n’uwutizera iranga ubukerebutsi. Avuga ati: “Ni vyiza kuba naramuhevye. Sinkekeranya na gato ko Yehova azondonsa ivyo nkeneye.”

Ivyawe vyoba vyifashe nk’ukwo kwa Cindy? Nimba ari ukwo vyifashe, si ngombwa ngo urwane urwo rugamba uri wenyene! Woshobora kubiyaga n’abavyeyi bawe. Ivyo ni vyo Jim yagize igihe yatangura kwiyumvamwo umukobwa umwe wo kw’ishure. Avuga ati: “Nahavuye nsaba imfashanyo abavyeyi banje. Ico ni co kintu nyamukuru camfashije gutsinda izo nyiyumvo.” Abakurambere b’ishengero na bo nyene barashobora kugufasha. Ubona gute umenyesheje umwe muri bo ibiriko biragushikira?—Yesaya 32:1, 2.

[Uruzitiro/Ifoto ku rup. 39]

Ivyiyumviro wokwifashisha

Yoba azombera umunega mwiza?

Ibintu nyamukuru

□ Akoresha gute ubukuru ubwo ari bwo bwose yoba afise?—Matayo 20:25, 26.

□ Afise imigambi nyabaki?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

□ Yoba ariko arakora kugira ayishikeko?—1 Abakorinto 9:26, 27.

□ Afata gute abo mu muryango iwabo?—Kuvayo 20:12.

□ Abagenzi biwe ni bande?—Imigani 13:20.

□ Akunda kuvuga ibiki?—Luka 6:45.

□ Abona gute amahera?—Abaheburayo 13:5, 6.

□ Akunda kwisamaza mu buryo ubuhe?—Zaburi 97:10.

□ Yerekana gute urwo akunda Yehova?—1 Yohani 5:3.

Kamere nziza

□ Yoba akunda ibikorwa?—Imigani 6:9-11.

□ Yoba akoresha neza amahera?—Luka 14:28.

□ Yoba avugwa neza?—Ivyakozwe 16:1, 2.

□ Yoba yitwararika abandi?—Abafilipi 2:4.

Ibimenyetso bibi

□ Yoba akaza ishavu?—Imigani 22:24.

□ Yoba agerageza kugukwegakwega ngo mukore ubuhumbu?—Abagalatiya 5:19.

□ Yoba akunda kurwana canke gutukana?—Abanyefeso 4:31.

□ Yoba abona ko adashobora kuryoherwa atanyoye inzoga?—Imigani 20:1.

□ Yoba afuha kandi akaba yikwegerako?—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 5.

[Uruzitiro/Ifoto ku rup. 40]

Yoba azombera umukenyezi mwiza?

Ibintu nyamukuru

□ Yerekana gute ko ayoboka mu muryango no mw’ishengero?—Abanyefeso 5:21, 22.

□ Afata gute abo mu muryango iwabo?—Kuvayo 20:12.

□ Abagenzi biwe ni bande?—Imigani 13:20.

□ Akunda kuvuga ibiki?—Luka 6:45.

□ Abona gute amahera?—1 Yohani 2:15-17.

□ Afise imigambi nyabaki?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

□ Yoba ariko arakora kugira ayishikeko?—1 Abakorinto 9:26, 27.

□ Akunda kwisamaza mu buryo ubuhe?—Zaburi 97:10.

□ Yerekana gute urwo akunda Yehova?—1 Yohani 5:3.

Kamere nziza

□ Yoba akunda ibikorwa?—Imigani 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.

□ Yoba akoresha neza amahera?—Imigani 31:16, 18.

□ Yoba avugwa neza?—Rusi 3:11.

□ Yoba yitwararika abandi?—Imigani 31:20.

Ibimenyetso bibi

□ Yoba ari umunyamahane?—Imigani 21:19.

□ Yoba agerageza kugukwegakwega ngo mukore ubuhumbu?—Abagalatiya 5:19.

□ Yoba akunda kurwana canke gutukana?—Abanyefeso 4:31.

□ Yoba abona ko adashobora kuryoherwa atanyoye inzoga?—Imigani 20:1.

□ Yoba afuha kandi akaba yikwegerako?—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 5.

[Ifoto ku rup. 30]

Nka kurya nyene atari ibirato vyose bigukwiye, si uwo ari we wese azokubera umunega canke umukenyezi mwiza

[Ifoto ku rup. 31]

Woba wibaza ko bihambaye kutaraba ibiboneka inyuma gusa igihe uhitamwo umuduga? Hari akantu rero igihe uhitamwo uwo muzokwubakana!