INAMA ZIGENEWE UMURYANGO | KURERA
Uko waganira n’abana ibirebana n’ivangura ry’amoko
Kuva abana bakiri bato bashobora kubona ko hari abantu bitwaza ibara ry’uruhu cyangwa ibihugu bakomokamo maze bagafata abandi nabi. None se wafasha ute umwana wawe kugira ngo yirinde ivangura? Wakora iki mu gihe ari we wakorewe ivangura?
Muri iyi ngingo turasuzuma
Uko waganira n’umwana wawe ku birebana n’amoko
Icyo wamusobanurira. Abantu bo hirya no hino ku isi bafite imico myiza n’ibintu byiza bibaranga. Kuba hari ibintu abantu batandukaniyeho, bituma hari ababyitwaza maze bagafata nabi abandi bitewe gusa n’ibyo bakora cyangwa n’uko bagaragara.
Icyakora Bibiliya itwigisha ko abantu bose bakomoka ku muntu umwe. Mu yandi magambo twese dufitanye isano.
“[Imana] yaremye amahanga yose y’abantu iyakuye ku muntu umwe.”—Ibyakozwe 17:26.
“Twiboneye ko iyo abana bacu bari kumwe n’abantu bakuriye mu moko atandukanye, bituma bibonera ko buri muntu wese afite agaciro kandi ko agomba kugaragarizwa urukundo n’icyubahiro.”—Byavuzwe na Karen.
Uko wasobanurira umwana impamvu abantu bagira ivangura
Byanze bikunze, umwana wawe azumva inkuru mu makuru zivuga ibirebana n’ukuntu abantu bafata abandi nabi cyangwa bakabakorera ibikorwa by’urugomo kubera ko badahuje ubwoko. Wasobanurira ute umwana impamvu ibyo bintu biba? Ushobora kumusobanurira ukurikije imyaka afite.
Abana bataratangira ishuri. Nk’uko byavuzwe na Dr. Allison Briscoe-Smith, “Abana bato na bo bamenya niba umuntu akoze ikintu cyiza cyangwa kibi.” Ibyo bishobora kugufasha kubasobanurira ibijyanye n’akarengane.
‘Imana ntirobanura ku butoni, ahubwo muri buri gihugu umuntu uyitinya kandi agakora ibyo gukiranuka ni we yemera.’—Ibyakozwe 10:34,35.
Abana batangiye gukura. Abana bari mu kigero cy’imyaka hagati ya 6 na 12 bagira amatsiko, kandi rimwe na rimwe babaza ibibazo bikomeye. Jya ugerageza kubasubiza uko ubishoboye. Jya uganira na bo ku bintu babona ku ishuri, ibyo bumva mu makuru maze ubikoreshe ubasobanurira impamvu kwanga abantu ubaziza ubwoko bwabo ari bibi.
“Muhuze ibitekerezo, mujye mwishyira mu mwanya w’abandi, mukundane urukundo rwa kivandimwe, mugirirane impuhwe kandi mwicishe bugufi.”—1 Petero 3:8.
Abana barimo kubyiruka. Abana batangiye kubyiruka bashobora gusobanukirwa ibintu bigoye. Iyo umwana wawe ari mu myaka nk’iyo, aba ari igihe cyiza cyo kuganira na we ku bintu birebana n’ivangura bivugwa mu makuru.
“Abakuze mu buryo bw’umwuka, bafite ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu bwatojwe gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi.”—Abaheburayo 5:14.
“Tujya tuganira n’abana bacu ibirebana n’ivangura ry’amoko kubera ko byanze bikunze bazahura na byo aho baba bari hose. Nitutagira icyo tubabwira, abandi bashobora kuzabinjizamo ibitekerezo byo kwanga abantu badahuje ubwoko. Abantu bashobora kubaha amakuru atari yo kandi bakayemera.”—Tanya.
Jya ubaha urugero rwiza
Abana bakunda kwigana abantu bakuru. Ubwo rero, ni iby’ingenzi ko utekereza witonze ku byo uvuga n’ibyo ukora. Urugero:
Ese ujya utera urwenya useka cyangwa unegura abantu mudahuje ubwoko? Igitabo cyitwa American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry cyaravuze kiti: “Abana bawe bitegereza ibyo ukora kandi bakumva ibyo uvuga, ni ibisanzwe ko bitwara nk’uko witwara kuko bakwigana.
Ese ukunda kuba uri kumwe n’abantu bakomoka mu duce dutandukanye tw’isi? Muganga w’abana witwa Alanna Nzoma yaravuze ati: “Niba wifuza ko abana bawe . . . bagirana ubucuti n’abantu bakuriye mu duce dutandukanye, bagombye kuba babona nawe ari uko ubigenza.”
“Mwubahe abantu b’ingeri zose.”—1 Petero 2:17.
“Mu muryango wacu, tumaze imyaka myinshi twakira abashyitsi bavuye hirya no hino ku isi. Twamenye byinshi ku myambarire yabo, indirimbo zabo n’ibyokurya. Twabwiraga abana bacu imico myiza y’abo bashyitsi aho kwibanda ku bwoko bwabo kandi twirindaga gushimagiza umuco wacu cyane.”—Katarina.
Mu gihe umwana wawe yakorewe ivangura
Nubwo abantu benshi baharanira kureshya imbere y’amategeko, ku isi ivangura ry’amoko rikomeje kwiyongera. Ibyo bivuze ko umwana wawe ashobora gufatwa nabi cyane cyane iyo ari mu bwoko bufatwa nk’aho busuzuguritse. Ibyo nibiramuka bibaye . . .
Uzakurikirane umenye neza uko byagenze. Ese uwabikoze yari yabigambiriye cyangwa yapfuye kubikora atabitekerejeho (Yakobo 3:2)? Ese ni ngombwa ko uwabikoze amenyeshwa amakosa ye cyangwa umuntu yabyirengagiza?
Mu by’ukuri, ni ngombwa gushyira mu gaciro. Bibiliya itanga inama irangwa n’ubwenge igira iti: “Ntukihutire kurakara mu mutima wawe” (Umubwiriza 7:9). Ni byo koko ivangura si ikintu twagombye gukinisha ariko nanone, ntitwagombye kumva igikorwa cyose kibi badukoreye kiba gitewe n’ubugome cyangwa ivangura.
Birumvikana ko ibibazo abantu bahura na byo biba bitandukanye. Ubwo rero, ujye ubanza umenye neza uko ibintu byagenze hanyuma ubone gufata umwanzuro w’icyo wakora.
“Usubiza atarumva neza ikibazo aba agaragaje ubupfapfa, kandi bimukoza isoni.”—Imigani 18:13.
Numara kumenya neza uko byagenze, uzibaze uti:
‘Ese umwana wanjye nimwereka ko abantu bose bagira ivangura kandi ko ibintu byose bamukorera baba bamuziza ubwoko bizamugiraho izihe ngaruka?’
‘Ese umwana wanjye gukurikiza inama ya Bibiliya ikurikira byamugirira akamaro?’ Iyo nama igira iti: “Ntukerekeze umutima wawe ku magambo yose abantu bavuga”—Umubwiriza 7:21.
“Gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose.”—Abafilipi 4:5.
Byagenda bite se uwagiriye nabi umwana wawe yari yabigambiriye? Jya ufasha umwana wawe kumenya ko ibintu bizagenda neza cyangwa nabi bitewe n’uko azitwara. Rimwe na rimwe umuntu utuka undi cyangwa akamunnyuzura aba yiteze ko na we agira icyo akora. Ubwo rero, biba byiza iyo umwihoreye ntumusubize.
“Ahatari inkwi umuriro urazima.”—Imigani 26:20.
Ku rundi ruhande ariko, niba umwana wawe ashobora kuvugisha uwamukoshereje, yabikora. Ashobora kumuvugisha mu bugwaneza agira ati: “Rwose ibintu wavuze cyangwa wakoze byambabaje.”
Byagenda bite se niba ushaka kubimenyesha abayobozi? Niba ubona ko ubuzima bw’umwana wawe buri mu kaga, bitewe n’ibyo yabwiwe cyangwa se yakorewe, cyangwa ukumva utabyihanganira, jya wisanzura ubiganireho n’abayobozi b’aho yiga, cyangwa ubimenyeshe polisi.