Uko wakwirinda guhimisha uwo mwashakanye guceceka

AHO IKIBAZO KIRI

Bishoboka bite ko abantu babiri barahiriye kuzakundana, bagera ubwo bamara amasaha menshi cyangwa iminsi myinshi nta wuvugisha undi? Bashobora kwibwira bati “nibura byatumye tutarwana.” Ariko n’ubundi ikibazo bafitanye ntikiba gikemutse, kandi bombi birababangamira.

IKIBITERA

Kwihimura. Bamwe mu bagabo n’abagore banga kuvugisha abo bashakanye, bagira ngo babihimureho. Urugero, reka tuvuge ko umugabo ateganyije ibyo azakora mu mpera z’icyumweru atagishije inama umugore we. Umugore arabimenye maze ararakara kandi abwira umugabo we ko atamwitaho. Umugabo na we ahise amubwira ko arakazwa n’ubusa. Umugore arikubise aragenda maze kuva ubwo araruca ararumira. Ni nk’aho ku mutima aba avuga ati “ukuntu wambabaje, nanjye ngiye kukwereka.”

Kugera ku cyo wifuza. Bamwe bahimisha abo bashakanye guceceka bashaka kugera ku cyo bifuza. Urugero, reka tuvuge ko umugabo n’umugore bateganya gutembera, hanyuma umugore akavuga ko yifuza kujyana n’ababyeyi be. Umugabo arabyanze maze aramubwira ati “washakanye nanjye ntiwashakanye n’ababyeyi bawe.” Kuva ubwo umugabo aretse kuvugisha umugore we, yiringiye ko bizatuma ava ku izima.

Birumvikana ko kumara igihe runaka mucecetse bishobora gutuma mwembi mutuza mu gihe mwari mwatonganye. Ubwo buryo bwo guceceka bushobora kugira akamaro. Bibiliya ivuga ko hariho “igihe cyo guceceka” (Umubwiriza 3:7). Icyakora mu gihe bibaye uburyo bwo kwihimura cyangwa kugera ku byo wifuza, nta kindi bimara uretse gutuma amakimbirane mufitanye arushaho gukomera, kandi ntimukomeze kubahana. None se mwakora iki ngo mubyirinde?

ICYO MWAKORA

Intambwe ya mbere yo kwirinda kugwa muri uwo mutego ni ukumenya ko ubwo atari bwo buryo bwiza bwo gukemura ikibazo. Birashoboka ko guhimisha uwo mwashakanye guceceka bishobora gutuma umwihimuraho cyangwa bigatuma ahatirwa kwemera ibyo wifuza. Ariko se ibyo ni byo wifuza gukorera umuntu warahiriye gukunda? Dore uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura ibibazo mufitanye.

Jya urangwa n’ubushishozi. Bibiliya ivuga ko urukundo “rutivumbura” (1 Abakorinto 13:4, 5). Ubwo rero, ujye utuza mu gihe uwo mwashakanye avuganye uburakari, wenda akakubwira ati “ntujya unyumva” cyangwa ati “uhora ukererwa.” Ahubwo ujye utahura icyo mu by’ukuri ashaka kukubwira. Urugero, niba akubwiye ati “ntujya unyumva,” mu by’ukuri ashobora kuba yashakaga kukubwira ati “jye numva udaha agaciro ibitekerezo byanjye.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 14:29.

Jya uvuga mu ijwi rituje. Burya ururimi rwoshywa n’urundi. Mu gihe ubonye impaka zitangiye gufata indi ntera, hari icyo wakora kugira ngo uzihoshe. Wakora iki? Hari igitabo gitanga inama ku bashakanye, cyagize kiti “kuvuga mu ijwi rituje no kwemera igitekerezo cy’uwo mwashakanye, ni ibintu by’ingenzi cyane bishobora gutuma mugenzi wawe acururuka kandi bigahosha amakimbirane. Akenshi ibyo ni byo biba bikenewe.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 26:20.

Jya uzirikana uwo mwashakanye aho kwizirikana. Bibiliya igira iti “buri wese ntakomeze gushaka inyungu ze bwite, ahubwo ashake iza mugenzi we” (1 Abakorinto 10:24). Nuzirikana ko uwo mwashakanye ari mugenzi wawe musenyera umugozi umwe aho kuba uwo muhanganye, bizatuma utamurakarira cyane cyangwa ngo umutonganye kugeza ubwo wanga kumuvugisha.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Umubwiriza 7:9.

Guhimisha uwo mwashakanye guceceka bihabanye n’inama Bibiliya itanga, igira iti “umuntu wese muri mwe abe ari ko akunda umugore we nk’uko yikunda; ku rundi ruhande, umugore agomba kubaha cyane umugabo we” (Abefeso 5:33). Byaba byiza wowe n’uwo mwashakanye muganiriye, mukemeranya ko ingeso yo guhimana mwanga kuvuga itagomba kurangwa mu rugo rwanyu.