IGICE CYA 4

Kuki papa na mama batanye?

“Igihe papa yadusigaga, nari kumwe na mama mu rugo. Nari mfite imyaka itandatu gusa, ku buryo ntari nsobanukiwe ibyarimo biba. Nari nicaye hasi ndeba televiziyo, ariko nkumva mama arira atsikimba, yinginga papa ngo areke kugenda. Yamanutse amadarajya afite ivarisi, arapfukama aransoma, arambwira ati ‘humura ndacyagukunda!’ Nuko arasohoka aragenda. Hashize igihe kirekire cyane ntongeye kumubona. Kuva icyo gihe, natangiye gutinya ko na mama azansiga akagenda.”—Elaine, ufite imyaka 19.

IYO ababyeyi bawe batanye, ugira ngo isi ikurangiriyeho, ukumva umeze nk’ugwiririwe n’ibyago bizagukurikirana ubuzima bwawe bwose. Bikunze gutuma umuntu yumva afite ikimwaro n’uburakari, agahangayika, akagira ubwoba bw’uko yatawe, akagira umutimanama umucira urubanza, akiheba kandi akumva yaratakaje ikintu gikomeye cyane; hari n’igihe yumva ashatse kwihorera.

Niba ababyeyi bawe baherutse gutana, ushobora kuba wumva umeze utyo, kandi ibyo ntibitangaje, kuko Umuremyi wacu yashakaga ko abana barerwa n’ababyeyi bombi, umugabo n’umugore (Abefeso 6:1-3). None ubu hari umwe mu babyeyi bawe utazongera kubona buri munsi kandi waramukundaga cyane. Uwitwa Daniel, ufite ababyeyi batanye afite imyaka irindwi, yaravuze ati “rwose numvaga nkunze papa, nkifuza ko ari we twabana. Ariko mama ni we wahawe uburenganzira bwo kuturera.”

Impamvu ababyeyi batana

Incuro nyinshi gutana bitungura abana, kuko ababyeyi baba barabahishe ibibazo bafitanye. Rachel, wari ufite imyaka 15 igihe ababyeyi be batanaga, yaravuze ati “byarantunguye kandi birambabaza cyane. Nibwiraga ko bakundana.” Nubwo ababyeyi baba batongana, iyo bigeze ubwo batana bibabaza abana.

Akenshi ababyeyi batana bitewe n’uko umwe muri bo yaciye inyuma uwo bashakanye. Mu mimerere nk’iyo, Imana yemerera umwe mu bashakanye wahemukiwe kugira uburenganzira bwo gutana no kongera gushaka (Matayo 19:9). Hari n’igihe “umujinya no gukankama no gutukana” bivamo urugomo, bigatuma umwe mu babyeyi atinya ko we n’abana be bazagirirwa nabi.a—Abefeso 4:31.

Gusa ariko, hari abashakanye bamwe na bamwe bagiye batana biturutse ku mpamvu zidafashije. Aho kugira ngo bafatanye gukemura ibibazo bafitanye, bamwe bahitamo gutana babitewe n’ubwikunde, bavuga ko batagifite ibyishimo cyangwa ko batagikunda uwo bashakanye. Ibyo ntibishimisha Imana kuko “yanga abatana” bitewe n’izo mpamvu (Malaki 2:16). Yesu yavuze ko hari imiryango ishobora gutana bitewe n’uko umwe mu bayigize abaye Umukristo.—Matayo 10:34-36.

Uko byaba byaragenze kose, kuba ababyeyi barahisemo kwicecekera cyangwa bakaguha ibisubizo bidasobanutse ku bibazo wababajije birebana no gutana, ntibishatse kuvuga ko bakwanga. Ababyeyi bawe bashobora kuba barigumaniye ibibazo byabo, kubera ko gusa byari bigoye kuvuga ibirebana no gutana (Imigani 24:10). Bashobora no kuba baragize ipfunwe ryo kwemera amakosa yabo.

Icyo wakora

Sobanukirwa neza ibiguhangayikishije. Iyo ababyeyi bawe batanye wumva isi isa n’ikurangiriyeho; ni yo mpamvu bishobora gutuma utangira guhangayikira ibintu ubundi utajyaga ugiraho ikibazo. Nubwo byaba bimeze bityo, iyo umenye ibiguhangayikishije ibyo ari byo, bituma umenya uko ubyitwaramo. Shyira aka kamenyetso ✔ ku bintu wumva ko biguhangayikishije kurusha ibindi, cyangwa niba hari ikindi kiguhangayikishije, cyandike ahanditse ngo “ibindi”.

□ Umubyeyi nsigaranye na we ashobora kuzanta akigendera.

□ Umuryango wacu ntuzabona amafaranga ahagije yo kudutunga.

□ Kuba ababyeyi banjye baratanye nshobora kuba mbifitemo uruhare.

□ Nanjye ninshaka, sinzabana neza n’uwo tuzashakana.

□ Ibindi ․․․․․

Gira umuntu muganira ku biguhangayikishije. Umwami Salomo yavuze ko hari “igihe cyo kuvuga” (Umubwiriza 3:7). Bityo rero, gerageza gushaka igihe gikwiriye cyo kuvugana n’ababyeyi bawe ingingo wanditse ziguhangayikishije. Babwire agahinda ufite cyangwa ko uri mu rujijo. Ahari bashobora kugusobanurira uko ibintu bimeze, bityo imihangayiko yawe ikagabanuka. Niba ababyeyi bawe badashobora kugufasha mu gihe wari ubikeneye, ushobora kubibwira undi muntu w’incuti yawe ukuze. Fata iya mbere ushake uwo muntu. Kugira umuntu ushobora kugutega amatwi, bishobora kuguhumuriza cyane.—Imigani 17:17.

Ikirenze ibyo byose, Data wo mu ijuru yiteguye kugutega amatwi, kuko ari we “wumva amasengesho” (Zaburi 65:2). Suka ibiri mu mutima wawe imbere ye ‘kuko akwitaho.’—1 Petero 5:7.

Icyo udakwiriye gukora

Ntukabike inzika. Daniel twigeze kuvuga yaravuze ati “ababyeyi banjye barangwaga n’ubwikunde. Mu by’ukuri ntibigeze batuzirikana kandi ntibatekereje ko ibyo bakora bitugiraho ingaruka.” Ayo magambo ya Daniel arumvikana kandi ashobora kuba ari ukuri. Ariko se wasubiza ute ibibazo bikurikira? Andika ibisubizo byawe ahabigenewe.

Ni akahe kaga gashobora kugera kuri Daniel, aramutse akomeje kugira umujinya no kubika inzika? (Soma mu Migani 29:22.) ․․․․․

Nubwo Daniel bishobora kumugora, kuki yagerageza kubabarira ababyeyi be nubwo bamubabaje? (Soma mu Befeso 4:31, 32.) ․․․․․

Ihame rikubiye mu Baroma 3:23, ryafasha rite Daniel kubona ababyeyi be mu buryo bukwiriye? ․․․․․

Irinde imyitwarire yo kwiyangiza. Denny yibutse ibyamubayeho aravuga ati “ababyeyi banjye bamaze gutana, nabuze ibyishimo kandi ndiheba. Natangiye kugira ibibazo ku ishuri ndetse umwaka umwe ndawutsindwa. Nyuma yaho . . . natangiye kwitwara nabi ku ishuri kandi ngakunda kurwana.”

Uratekereza ko Denny yashakaga kugera ku ki igihe yitwaraga nabi ku ishuri? ․․․․․

Kuki yari asigaye akunda kurwana? ․․․․․

Niba warumvaga ukwiriye kwitwara nabi kugira ngo uhane ababyeyi bawe, ihame ryo mu Bagalatiya 6:7 ryagufasha rite gukomeza kubona ibintu mu buryo bukwiriye? ․․․․․

Ibyo wakwitega mu gihe kiri imbere

Iyo umuntu akomeretse, wenda akavunika igufwa, bishobora gusaba nk’ibyumweru cyangwa amezi kugira ngo akire. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, ibikomere byo ku mutima na byo bisaba igihe kugira ngo bikire. Hari intiti zivuga ko ingaruka zikomeye cyane zitewe n’ubutane zishobora gushira nko mu myaka itatu. Icyo gihe gishobora gusa n’aho ari kirekire, ariko wibuke ko hari ibintu byinshi bigomba kubaho mbere y’uko ubuzima bwawe busubira ku murongo.

Kimwe muri ibyo bintu bigomba gusubira ku murongo, ni gahunda isanzwe yo mu muryango iba yarahungabanyijwe n’ubwo butane. Hagomba nanone gushira igihe mbere y’uko ababyeyi bawe bakira ibikomere bafite mu mutima. Ni bo bonyine bashobora kugufasha mu buryo bukwiriye. Icyakora uko ubuzima bwawe buzagenda bugaruka ku murongo, uzagera ubwo wumva warasubiye mu buzima busanzwe.

KU BINDI BISOBANURO, REBA UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 25

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

“Hariho . . . igihe cyo gukiza.” —Umubwiriza 3:3.

INAMA

Niba ababyeyi bawe baratanye, umwe muri bo aba yarakoze amakosa cyangwa bombi barayakoze. Gerageza gutahura ayo makosa kugira ngo nawe utazayasubiramo igihe uzaba umaze gushaka.—Imigani 27:12.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Ushobora kuzagira urugo rwiza nubwo ababyeyi bawe baba batarabishoboye.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA!

Uwo nabwira ibimpangayikishije (andika izina ry’umuntu mukuru wifuza kubibwira): ․․․․․

Ninumva nshaka kwitwara nabi kugira ngo mpane ababyeyi banjye, nzabyirinda nkora ibi bikurikira: ․․․․․

Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki: ․․․․․

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Ni iki gituma ababyeyi bawe badashaka kuganira nawe ku mpamvu yatumye batana?

● Kuki ari iby’ingenzi kuzirikana ko gutana ari ikibazo kiri hagati y’ababyeyi bawe, utabifitemo uruhare?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 32]

‘‘Mama amaze kudusiga akagenda, narihebye nkajya nirirwa ndira. Ariko nasengaga kenshi, ngahugira mu gufasha abandi kandi nkaba hafi y’incuti zikuze. Uko ni ko Yehova Imana yamfashije kwihangana.’’—Natalie

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 33]

Kwihanganira gutana kw’ababyeyi bawe ni kimwe no gukira imvune y’ukuboko: birakubabaza ariko amaherezo urakira