IGICE CYA 32

Nakwirinda nte abashaka kumfata ku ngufu?

Buri mwaka, abantu babarirwa muri za miriyoni bafatwa ku ngufu cyangwa bagakorerwa ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, kandi ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abakiri bato ari bo bibasirwa cyane. Urugero, muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, hafi kimwe cya kabiri cy’abafatwa ku ngufu bari munsi y’imyaka 18. Kubera ko abahohoterwa bagenda baba benshi, birakwiriye ko usuzumana ubwitonzi iyi ngingo.

“Yaransumiye antura hasi ntaramenya ibyo ari byo. Nakoze uko nshoboye kose kugira ngo nirwaneho, mfata agacupa karimo imyuka ihuma amaso ngo nyimutere, ariko ahita akajugunya. Nagerageje kuvuza induru, ariko ijwi ntirisohoke! Naramusunitse, mutera imigeri, mukubita ibipfunsi, murya n’inzara. Nuko ngiye kumva numva anteye icyuma, mpita ncika intege.”​—Annette.

ABAFATA abandi ku ngufu barogeye muri iki gihe kandi usanga ahanini abakiri bato ari bo bibasiwe. Bamwe mu bakiri bato, urugero nka Annette, bafashwe ku ngufu n’abantu batazi. Hari abandi bo bafashwe ku ngufu n’abaturanyi babo. Ibyo ni byo byabaye kuri Natalie, wakorewe ibya mfura mbi n’umusore bari baturanye, igihe yari afite imyaka 10 gusa. Yaravuze ati “numvaga mfite ubwoba n’isoni, ku buryo mu mizo ya mbere numvaga ntashobora kugira uwo mbibwira.”

Hari abakiri bato benshi bagiye bakorerwa ibya mfura mbi n’abo mu miryango yabo. Umugore witwa Carmen, yaravuze ati “kuva igihe nari mfite imyaka 5 kugeza ngize imyaka 12, papa yajyaga ankorera ibya mfura mbi. Mfite imyaka 20 ni bwo natinyutse kubimutonganyiriza. Yansabye imbabazi, ariko nyuma y’amezi make anyirukana mu rugo.”

Gufatwa ku ngufu n’umuturanyi, incuti cyangwa umuntu wo mu muryango wawe birababaje, ariko birogeye muri iki gihe.a Iryo hohoterwa rikorerwa abakiri bato, si irya none. Ibikorwa nk’ibyo by’urukozasoni byabagaho no mu gihe Bibiliya yandikwaga (Yoweli 3:3; Matayo 2:16). Turi mu bihe biruhije. Abantu benshi ‘ntibakunda ababo’ kandi usanga abakobwa (n’abahungu) bakunze gukorerwa ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina (2 Timoteyo 3:1-3). Nubwo nta cyo wakora ngo wirinde burundu ko bikugeraho, hari icyo wakora kugira ngo wirinde. Suzuma izi nama zikurikira:

Jya uba maso. Igihe cyose uri mu nzira, jya umenya ibibera imbere yawe, inyuma yawe no mu mpande. Hari ahantu biba bizwi ko umuntu yahagirira ibibazo, cyane cyane iyo bwije. Ujye wirinda kunyura aho hantu uko bishoboka kose, cyangwa se nibura ujye uba uri kumwe n’undi muntu.—Imigani 27:12.

Ntugatume abantu bagutekerezaho ibindi. Jya wirinda kugirana agakungu n’abo mudahuje igitsina kandi wirinde kwambara mu buryo bwatuma bakwifuza. Kwitwara utyo bishobora gutuma abakubona bibwira ko ushaka uwo muryamana cyangwa ko hagize ugufata ku ngufu utatera amahane.—1 Timoteyo 2:9, 10.

Garagaza imipaka ntarengwa. Niba hari umuntu murambagizanya, vugana na we mwumvikane imyitwarire ikwiriye n’idakwiriye.b Niba warishyiriyeho imipaka, uzirinde ikintu cyose cyatuma wishyira mu mimerere yatuma ufatwa ku ngufu.—Imigani 13:10.

Ntugatinye kumuhakanira. Guhakana ukomeje uvuga uti “ndakwiyamye!” cyangwa uti “ntunkoreho,” nta kibi kirimo. Ntugatinye ko uwo muhungu w’incuti yawe ashobora kukwanga. Niba icyo ari cyo gitumye ahagarika ubucuti mwari mufitanye, ntaba yari akwiriye kukubera incuti. N’ubundi kandi, uwo ushaka ni umugabo nyamugabo, ukubaha kandi akubaha n’amahame ugenderaho.c

Jya ugira amakenga igihe uri kuri interineti. Ntugapfe gushyira umwirondoro wawe kuri interineti cyangwa ngo ushyireho amafoto agaragaza aho utuye.d Niba ubonye ubutumwa buvuga iby’ibitsina mu buryo bweruye, byaba byiza wirinze kubusubiza. Kudasubiza ubwo butumwa bica intege ababa bashaka kugufata ku ngufu.

Ibyo bitekerezo tumaze kuvuga, bishobora gutuma abantu batabona uburyo bwo kugufata ku ngufu (Imigani 22:3). Icyakora, birumvikana ko udashobora kwirinda burundu ibintu byose byatuma ufatwa ku ngufu. Urugero, si ko buri gihe uzajya ubona umuntu uguherekeza cyangwa ngo wirinde ahantu hose umuntu yagirira ibibazo. Mushobora no kuba mutuye mu gace kabamo abantu bashobora kukugirira nabi.

Ushobora kuba uzi, wenda uhereye ku bintu bibabaje byakubayeho, ko ushobora kugerwaho n’ibintu bibi nubwo waba wagerageje kubyirinda. Kimwe n’uko byagendekeye Annette twavuze tugitangira, ushobora kuba waraguwe gitumo kandi uwo muntu akakurusha imbaraga. Nanone kimwe na Carmen, ushobora kuba warahohotewe ukiri muto kandi ukaba nta cyo wari gukora kugira ngo ubyirinde, yewe ukaba utari unasobanukiwe ibyakubagaho. Niba warigeze gufatwa ku ngufu, wahangana ute n’umutimanama ugucira urubanza?

Uko wahangana n’umutimanama ugucira urubanza

Annette aracyumva umutimanama umucira urubanza bitewe n’ibyamubayeho. Yaravuze ati “numva nariyanze. Ibyambayeho iryo joro nkomeza kubitekerezaho incuro nyinshi. Numva nagombye kuba naragerageje kumurwanya birenze ibyo nakoze. Ariko mu by’ukuri, amaze kuntera icyuma nagize ubwoba bwinshi cyane, mera nk’ugagaye. Nta kindi kintu nashoboraga gukora, ariko numva hari icyo nagombye kuba narakoze.”

Natalie na we ajya agira umutimanama umucira urubanza. Yaravuze ati “jye na murumuna wanjye, ababyeyi bari baradutegetse ko tugomba gukinira hamwe, ariko sinabumviye. Numva ari jye wahaye uwo muhungu twari duturanye urwaho rwo kumfata ku ngufu. Sinagombye kuba naramwiringiye cyane. Ibyambayeho byababaje umuryango wanjye cyane, kandi numva ari jye wabateye ako kababaro kose. Ibyo ni byo bimbabaza cyane.”

Ese niba uri mu mimerere nk’iya Annette cyangwa Natalie, wakora iki kugira ngo uhangane n’uwo mutimanama ugucira urubanza? Ikintu cya mbere ugomba kuzirikana, ni uko kuba warafashwe ku ngufu atari uko wabishakaga. Hari abapfobya icyo kibazo bavuga ko abasore ari uko babaye kandi ko abafatwa ku ngufu baba babyikururiye. Uzirikane kandi ko nta wifuza gufatwa ku ngufu. Niba igikorwa nk’icyo cy’urukozasoni cyarakubayeho, rwose si wowe nyirabayazana.

Birumvikana ko gusoma aya magambo avuga ngo “si wowe nyirabayazana” byoroshye, ariko kubyemera bishobora kukugora. Hari abapfukirana mu mutima wabo ibyababayeho, bakabuzwa amahwemo n’umutimanama ubacira urubanza n’ibindi bitekerezo bibi. Ubundi se uramutse wicecekeye, uwo byagirira akamaro ni nde? Ni wowe cyangwa ni uwagufashe ku ngufu? Birakwiriye ko usuzuma iyi ngingo ikurikira:

Jya uvuga ibyakubayeho

Bibiliya ivuga ko igihe Yobu yari yashenguwe n’agahinda, yavuze ati “sinzabura kugaragaza ibimpangayikishije, kandi nzavuga mfite ishavu mu mutima” (Yobu 10:1). Nubigenza utyo nawe bizagufasha. Gusobanurira umuntu wizeye ibyakubayeho, bishobora kugufasha kubyakira no kuruhuka ibyakubuzaga amahwemo.

Niba uri Umukristo, ni iby’ingenzi ko ubwira abasaza b’itorero ibyakubayeho. Umusaza w’itorero urangwa n’urukundo ashobora kukubwira amagambo yo kuguhumuriza akwizeza ko kuba warafashwe ku ngufu, nta wukwiriye kukuryoza icyo cyaha. Annette yaje gusanga ibyo ari ukuri. Yaravuze ati “nabibwiye incuti yanjye magara, insaba kuzabiganiraho n’abasaza bo mu itorero ryacu. Nshimishwa no kuba narabibabwiye. Naganiriye na bo kenshi kandi bambwiye amagambo nari nkeneye kumva, ko ibyambayeho atari jye wabiteye. Kandi koko nta ruhare nabigizemo.”

Kuvuga ibyakubayeho no kugaragaza uko umerewe, bishobora gutuma udakomeza kurakara no kubika inzika (Zaburi 37:8). Bishobora no kuguhumuriza nubwo byaba bimaze igihe kirekire. Igihe Natalie yari amaze kubwira ababyeyi be ibyamubayeho, yiboneye ko ibyo ari ukuri. Yaravuze ati “baramfashije cyane. Bangiriye inama yo kubivuga kandi ibyo byandinze guheranwa n’agahinda n’umubabaro nari mfite. Gusenga na byo byaramfashije cyane.” Natalie yongeyeho ati “kubwira Imana ibyambayeho byaramfashije, cyane cyane igihe nabaga numva ntashaka kugira umuntu n’umwe mbibwira. Iyo nsenga, mvuga ibindi ku mutima byose. Bituma numva mfite amahoro nyakuri kandi nkumva ntuje.”e

Nawe ushobora kubona ko hari ‘igihe cyo gukira’ cyangwa gushira agahinda (Umubwiriza 3:3). Jya wisunga abasaza bagereranywa n’“aho kwikinga umuyaga n’aho kugama imvura y’amahindu,” ubagire incuti kuko bazagushyigikira (Yesaya 32:2). Jya wita ku buzima bwawe, kandi uruhuke bihagije. Ikiruta byose, ujye wishingikiriza kuri Yehova Imana nyir’ihumure ryose, kuko ari hafi kuzana isi nshya, aho ‘abakora ibibi bazakurwaho, ariko abiringira Yehova bo bakaragwa isi.’—Zaburi 37:9.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

“Mu minsi y’imperuka hazabaho ibihe biruhije, bigoye kwihanganira, kuko abantu bazaba bikunda, . . . badakunda ababo . . . batamenya kwifata, bafite ubugome, badakunda ibyiza.”—2 Timoteyo 3:1-3.

INAMA

Niba warigeze gukorerwa ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, kora urutonde rw’imirongo yo muri Bibiliya ishobora kuguhumuriza. Dore imwe muri iyo mirongo: Zaburi 37:28; 46:1; 118:5-9; Imigani 17:17; n’Abafilipi 4:6, 7.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, abana barenga 90 ku ijana bafashwe ku ngufu, bazi uwabibakoreye.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA!

Dore icyo nzajya nkora ninumva umutimanama wanjye uncira urubanza bitewe n’ibyambayeho:

Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki:

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Ni izihe nyungu uzaheshwa no kuvuga akaga wahuye na ko?

● Nukomeza kubigira ibanga, ni izihe ngaruka zizakugeraho wowe n’abandi?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 232]

“Nubwo kuvuga ibyakubayeho igihe wafatwaga ku ngufu bitoroshye na gato, ni cyo kintu cyagufasha kurusha ibindi. Kubivuga bituma udaheranwa n’agahinda, ugashira uburakari kandi ukagarura agatege.”—Natalie

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 230]

“Niba unkunda . . . ”

Bamwe mu bantu bahohotera abakobwa, si ko buri gihe babafata ku ngufu. Hari igihe bagerageza kubahenda ubwenge. Babigenza bate? Bababwira amagambo nk’aya ngo “buri wese arabikora,” “humura nta wuzabimenya,” cyangwa nk’uko twabibonye mu gice cya 24, bakababwira ngo “niba unkunda, uremera ko tubikora.” Ntuzemere gushukwa n’umuhungu ukubwira ko kuryamana na we ari byo bigaragaza ko umukunda. Mu by’ukuri, umuntu wese utekereza atyo nta kindi aba ashaka kitari uguhaza irari rye. Ntaba akwitayeho cyangwa ngo abe ashishikajwe n’icyakugirira akamaro. Ibinyuranye n’ibyo, umugabo ugukunda azashyira inyungu zawe imbere y’ize kandi agaragaze ko azi kubahiriza amahame y’Imana (1 Abakorinto 10:24). Umugabo nyamugabo ntiyumva ko abakobwa nta kindi bamaze uretse kuryamana na bo gusa. Ahubwo afata ‘abagore bakiri bato nka bashiki be, afite imyifatire izira amakemwa.’—1 Timoteyo 5:1, 2.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 233]

Kwihererana ikibazo cyo gufatwa ku ngufu ni nko kugerageza gutwara ibintu biremereye cyane. None se kuki utabibwira undi muntu kugira ngo abigufashemo?