Uko wakomeza ishyingiranwa ryawe

TEKEREZA ku nzu yangiritse itagira gisana. Ibyo bayisize birahomoka, irava, n’ikigunda cyarayirenze. Biragaragara ko iyo nzu imaze imyaka myinshi inyagirwa, ititabwaho. Mbese izasenywa? Si ngombwa. Niba ifite fondasiyo ikomeye n’inkuta zikaba zigihagaze neza, iyo nzu ishobora gusanwa.

Mbese imimerere iyo nzu irimo ikwibukije ishyingiranwa ryawe? Ishyingiranwa ryawe rishobora kuba rimaze imyaka myinshi ryibasirwa n’icyo twakwita imvura y’amahindu. Umwe muri mwe ashobora kuba yaragize uburangare mu rugero runaka cyangwa mwembi mukaba mwarabugize. Ushobora kumva umeze nka Sandy. Amaze imyaka 15 ashatse yagize ati “nta kindi twari duhuriyeho kitari ukuba twarashyingiranywe gusa. Kandi ibyo ntibyari bihagije.”

N’ubwo wenda ishyingiranwa ryawe ryaba ryarageze kuri iyo ntera, ntiwihutire gufata umwanzuro ko nta garuriro. Birashoboka ko ishyingiranwa ryawe ryakongera gusubira uko ryatangiye. Byose bizaterwa ahanini n’uko wowe n’uwo mwashakanye muzaba mwariyemeje gushimangira ishyingiranwa ryanyu. Niba mwarabyiyemeje koko, bishobora gutuma ishyingiranwa ritajegajega mu gihe cy’ibigeragezo. Ariko se ni gute Bibiliya yabafasha gushimangira icyo cyemezo?

Iyo wiyemeje ikintu bituma wumva ko ugomba no kugikora

Iyo umuntu yiyemeje ikintu mu mutima we aba yumva ko agomba cyangwa ko ahatirwa kugikora.” Urugero: umwubatsi yumva ko agomba gusohoza ibyo yasabwe igihe yasinyaga amasezerano yo kubaka inzu. Ashobora no kuba ataziranye na nyir’inzu. Icyakora, yumva ahatiwe gusohoza ibyo yemeye gukora.

N’ubwo ishyingiranwa atari nk’ubucuruzi, ibyo wiyemeje bikubiyemo inshingano. Wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mushobora kuba mwararahiriye imbere y’Imana n’abantu ko muzabana akaramata uko byagenda kose. Yesu yagize ati “Iyabaremye mbere yaremye umugabo n’umugore, i[r]ababwira iti ‘ni cyo gituma umuntu azasiga se na nyina akabana n’umugore we akaramata.’ ” Yesu yongeyeho ati “icyo Imana yateranyije hamwe, umuntu ntakagitandukanye” (Matayo 19:4-6). Ubwo rero iyo ibibazo bivutse, wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mwagombye kwiyemeza mumaramaje kubahiriza ibyo mwiyemereye.a Hari umugore wagize ati “ibintu byatangiye kugenda neza kurushaho ari uko tumaze kureka kubona ko gutana ari wo muti.”

Icyakora, kuba mwariyemeje kubana bikubiyemo ibirenze kumva ko ari inshingano. Ni iki kindi gikubiyemo?

Gukorera hamwe bikomeza icyemezo mwafashe cyo gushyingiranwa

Iyo abantu biyemeje gushyingiranwa ntibivuga ko bazahora bumvikana muri byose. Igihe abashakanye bagize ikintu batumvikanaho, bagombye kugira icyifuzo kivuye ku mutima cyo gukemura ikibazo, atari ukubera ko gusa bagomba kubikora, ahubwo ari ukubera ko bumva ko babaye umwe. Yesu yavuze ko umugabo n’umugore baba “batakiri babiri ahubwo babaye umubiri umwe.”

Kuba “umubiri umwe” n’uwo mwashakanye bisobanura iki? Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “abagabo bakwiriye gukunda abagore babo nk’imibiri yabo” (Abefeso 5:28, 29). Ku ruhande rumwe, kuba “umubiri umwe” bisobanura ko uba usigaye wumva uhangayikishijwe n’icyatuma uwo mwashakanye amererwa neza nk’uko nawe ubwawe uhangayikishwa n’icyatuma nawe wamererwa neza. Abashakanye bagomba guhindura uko batekerezaga: bikava ku “cyanjye” bikaba “ibyacu;” bikava kuri “jyewe” bikajya kuri “twebwe.” Hari umujyanama umwe wanditse ati “abashakanye bagomba kureka kuba abaseribateri imbere mu mitima, ahubwo imbere mu mitima yabo bakumva ko bashyingiranywe.”

Mbese wowe n’uwo mwashakanye “mwumva mu mitima yanyu ko mwashyingiranywe”? Birashoboka ko abantu babana imyaka myinshi kandi nyamara bataraba “umubiri umwe” gutyo. Ibyo bishobora kubaho. Ariko hari igitabo kivuga ko “ishyingiranwa risobanura ko abantu bazajya bakorera hamwe mu buzima, kandi ko uko abantu babiri barushaho gukorera hamwe, ari na ko ishyingiranwa ryabo rirushaho gusugira.”—Giving Time a Chance.

Hari abashyingiranywe bakomeza kubana nta byishimo, bahambiriwe gusa kubera abana babyaranye cyangwa ikibazo cy’ubukungu. Abandi bo bihangana kubera ko baba batinya ibyo abandi bazabavugaho igihe baba babonye batakibana n’abo bashyingiranywe cyagwa kubera ko babona ko gutana ari igisebo. N’ubwo iyo miryango yihangana ari iyo gushimwa, mwibuke ko intego yanyu yagombye kuba iyo kugirana imishyikirano irangwa n’urukundo, aho kugira ngo ibe iyo gukomeza kubana gusa.

Ibikorwa bizira ubwikunde bituma ishyingiranwa rikomera

Bibiliya yahanuye ko “mu minsi y’imperuka” abantu bari kuba “bikunda” (2 Timoteyo 3:1, 2). Nk’uko ubwo buhanuzi bwabivuze, muri iki gihe usanga bikunda bikabije. Abashakanye benshi babona ko kwigomwa bagaha abo bashakanye bo nta cyo bari bubahe, ari ukugaragaza intege nke. Ariko kandi kugira ngo urugo rukomere, abashakanye bose bagomba kugira umwuka wo kwigomwa. Ni gute ushobora kubigeraho?

Aho kugira ngo wibaze uti ‘kuba narashatse bimariye iki?’ ahubwo ujye wibaza uti ‘jye nkora iki kugira ngo ishyingiranwa ryanjye rikomere?’ Bibiliya ivuga ko Abakristo bagomba ‘kutizirikana ubwabo gusa, ahubwo ko bazirikana n’abandi’ (Abafilipi 2:4). Mu gihe ugitekereza kuri iryo hame rya Bibiliya, suzuma ibyo wakoze mu cyumweru gishize. Ni incuro zingahe wakoze igikorwa cy’ubugwaneza uzirikana inyungu z’uwo mwashakanye gusa? Igihe uwo mwashakanye yifuzaga kukuvugisha, mbese wamuteze amatwi, kabone n’iyo waba warumvaga bitagushishikaje mu buryo bwihariye? Ibyo wakoze kugira ngo urusheho gushimisha uwo mwashakanye kuruta uko wakwishimisha, bingana iki?

Mu gusuzuma ibyo bibazo, ntuhangayikishwe n’uko hari ibyiza ukora ntabyiteho cyangwa ukabona bisa n’aho nta cyo byamaze. Hari igitabo kivuga ko “mu mishyikirano myinshi ineza yiturwa indi; ku bw’ibyo kora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo utere uwo mwashakanye inkunga yo kwitwara neza binyuriye mu kumwitwaraho neza nawe.” Ibikorwa birangwa no kwigomwa bikomeza ishyingiranwa ryanyu kuko bigaragaza ko muriha agaciro kandi ko mwifuza ko ryaramba.

Kubona ko ishyingiranwa rigomba kuramba ni ibintu by’ingenzi

Yehova Imana aha agaciro cyane ubudahemuka. Koko rero Bibiliya igira iti “ku badahemuka, [Yehova] uri indahemuka” (2 Samweli 22:26, Bibiliya Ntagatifu). Kuba indahemuka ku Mana hakubiyemo no kuba indahemuka kuri gahunda y’ishyingiranwa Imana yatangije.—Itangiriro 2:24.

Iyo wowe n’uwo mwashakanye buri wese abaye indahemuka ku wundi, mushimishwa no kumva ko ishyingiranwa ryanyu rizaramba. Iyo mutekereje ku mezi n’imyaka bizaza, mubona ko muzaba mukiri kumwe. Igitekerezo cy’uko hari igihe mwazabaho mutabana kiba ari inzozi, kandi kubona ibintu muri ubwo buryo bituma imishyikirano yanyu irangwa n’umutekano. Hari umugore wagize ati “ndetse n’iyo narakariye umugabo wanjye cyane, kandi nkumva ibibera mu rugo rwacu bimbabaje cyane, simpangayika ngo rurasenyutse. Ikiba kimpangayikishije ni ukuntu tuzongera gushyikirana nk’uko byari biri mbere. Simba nshidikanya ko turi bwongere kwiyunga, n’ubwo ako kanya mba ntabona uko twabigeraho.”

Kubona ko ishyingiranwa rigomba kuramba ni ikintu cy’ingenzi gituma abashakanye bakora ibyo biyemeje; ikibabaje ariko, ni uko mu miryango myinshi bitarangwamo. Iyo abashakanye batonganye, umwe ashobora kwihanukira akavuga ati “ndetse ndigendeye!” Cyangwa ati “ngiye gushaka uzabona ko mfite agaciro!” Yego hari igihe baba bivugira, ariko Bibiliya ivuga ko ururimi rushobora ‘kuzura ubusagwe bwica’ (Yakobo 3:8). Bene ayo magambo y’ibikangisho aba atanga ubutumwa bugira buti ‘jye simbona ko ishyingiranwa ryacu rigomba kuramba. Nshobora kukureka igihe icyo ari cyo cyose.’ Kuvuga ikintu nk’icyo bishobora gusenya urugo.

Iyo ubona ko ishyingiranwa ryawe rigomba kuramba, uba witeze kuzabana n’uwo mwashakanye mugasangira akabisi n’agahiye. Ibyo na byo birafasha. Bizatuma wowe n’uwo mwashakanye birushaho kuborohera kwemera intege nke n’amakosa byanyu, no gukomeza kwihanganirana no kubabarirana (Abakolosayi 3:13). Hari igitabo kivuga ko “mu ishyingiranwa ryiza bishoboka ko buri wese mu bashakanye yakosa, kandi ko ibyo bitabuza urugo gukomera.”

Ku munsi w’ishyingiranwa ryanyu, ntiwagiranye isezerano n’ishyingiranwa ahubwo warigiranye n’uwo mwashakanye. Ibyo byagombye kugira ingaruka zimbitse ku buryo utekereza n’uko ukora muri iki gihe kuko washatse. Mbese ntiwemera ko wagombye kugumana n’uwo mwashakanye atari ukubera gusa ko wemera cyane ukwera kw’ishyingiranwa, ahubwo ari ukubera ko ukunda uwo mwashakanye?

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Agasanduku/Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 5]

Icyo wakora ubu

Ni mu rugero rungana iki wiyemeje gushimangira ishyingiranwa ryawe? Wenda ushobora kuba ubona hari ibyo wanonosora. Kugira ngo ushimangire icyemezo wafashe, gerageza ibi bintu bikurikira:

● Igenzure. Ibaze uti ‘ese koko numva mu mutima wanjye ko nashatse, cyangwa se ndacyatekereza kandi ngakora nk’umuseribateri?’ Gerageza kumenya uko uwo mwashakanye akubona kuri iyo ngingo.

● Soma iyi ngingo uri kumwe n’uwo mwashakanye. Hanyuma, mu bugwaneza, muganire uko mushobora gushimangira ibyo mwiyemeje mujya gushyingiranwa.

● Wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mukorane ibikorwa bituma mukomera ku byo mwiyemeje. Urugero, mushobora kurebera hamwe amafoto y’ubukwe bwanyu n’ibindi bintu bigira icyo bibibutsa. Mujye mukora ibintu mwakundaga mu gihe mwarambagizanyaga cyangwa igihe mwari mukiri abageni. Mujye mwigira hamwe ingingo zo mu Munara w’Umurinzi na Réveillez-vous! zivuga ku ishyingiranwa.

[Agasanduku/Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 6]

Mu kwiyemeza gukomeza ishyingiranwa ryawe hakubiyemo . . .

● Inshingano “Ujye uhigura icyo wahize. Guhiga umuhigo ntuwuhigure birutwa no kutawuhiga.”​—Umubwiriza 5:4, 5.

● Gukorera hamwe “Ababiri baruta umwe . . . kuko iyo baguye umwe abyutsa mugenzi we.”​—Umubwiriza 4:9, 10.

● Kwigomwa “Gutanga guhesha umugisha kuruta guhabwa.”—Ibyakozwe 20:35.

● Kubona ko ishyingiranwa rigomba kuramba “Urukundo . . . rwihanganira byose.”​—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 7.

[Amafoto yo ku ipaji ya 7]

Mbese igihe uwo mwashakanye ashatse kugira icyo akubwira, umutega amatwi?