Amagambo arangwa n’ineza atuma habaho imishyikirano myiza

“Amagambo yanyu ajye ahora arangwa n’ineza.”—KOLO 4:6.

1, 2. Kuba umuvandimwe yaravuze amagambo arangwa n’ineza byagize akahe kamaro?

HARI umuvandimwe wagize ati “igihe nabwirizaga ku nzu n’inzu, nahuye n’umugabo maze arandakarira cyane ku buryo iminwa ye yanyeganyegaga, kandi umubiri we ugatitira. Nagerageje kuganira na we ntuje kandi nkoresheje Ibyanditswe, ariko uburakari bwe bukomeza kwiyongera. Umugore we n’abana be, na bo bafatanyije na we kunkoba kandi barakaye cyane, nuko mbona ko ngomba kuhava. Nabwiye uwo muryango ko nari naje amahoro kandi ko nifuzaga kugenda amahoro. Naberetse mu Bagalatiya 5:22 na 23, ahagaragara umuco w’urukundo, kwitonda, kumenya kwifata n’amahoro, maze ndigendera.

² “Nyuma yaho, ubwo nari nasuye ingo zari hakurya y’umuhanda bari baturiye, nabonye abagize uwo muryango bicaye iwabo, maze barampamagara. Naratekereje nti ‘ese mama bagiye kumbwira iki?’ Umugabo yari afite ikintu cyarimo amazi akonje yo kunywa, maze arampa. Yansabye imbabazi kuko yari yarantutse kandi anshimira kuba naragaragaje ukwizera gukomeye. Twatandukanye urwango rwavuyeho.”

3. Kuki tutagombye kureka ngo abandi baturakaze?

³ Muri iyi si yuzuyemo imihangayiko, guhura n’abantu barakaye, ndetse n’igihe turi mu murimo wo kubwiriza, incuro nyinshi nta wabyirinda. Iyo bigenze bityo, aba ari ngombwa ko tugaragaza ‘ubugwaneza kandi tukubaha cyane’ (1 Pet 3:15). Ese uwo muvandimwe wavuzwe, yaba yararakajwe n’uko nyir’urugo yamugaragarije umujinya n’inabi? Iyo bigenda bityo, uwo mugabo ntiyari guhindura imyifatire ye nk’uko byagenze; yashoboraga kurushaho kurakara. Kubera ko umuvandimwe yategetse uburakari bwe kandi akavuga amagambo arangwa n’ineza, nyuma yaho byaje kugenda neza.

Ni iki gituma amagambo arangwa n’ineza?

4. Kuki ari ngombwa ko tuvuga amagambo arangwa n’ineza?

⁴ Twaba tugirana imishyikirano n’abantu bo hanze y’itorero cyangwa abarigize, ndetse n’abo mu miryango yacu, ni ngomba gukurikiza inama Pawulo yatanze igira iti “amagambo yanyu ajye ahora arangwa n’ineza, asize umunyu” (Kolo 4:6). Amagambo meza nk’ayo kandi akwiriye ni ngomba kugira ngo habeho amahoro n’imishyikirano myiza.

5. Ni iki kugirana imishyikirano myiza bidasobanura? Tanga urugero.

⁵ Kugirana imishyikirano myiza ntibisobanura kuvuga ikintu cyose umuntu atekereza n’uko yiyumva kandi mu gihe icyo ari cyo cyose, cyane cyane igihe umuntu ababaye. Ibyanditswe bivuga ko amagambo agaragaza uburakari umuntu avuze atayatekerejeho agaragaza intege nke ze, aho kugaragaza imbaraga ze. (Soma mu Migani 25:28; 29:11.) Hari igihe Mose ‘wari umugwaneza urusha’ abantu bose yarakaye, ntiyahesha Yehova ikuzo bitewe n’ubwigomeke bw’abari bagize ishyanga rya Isirayeli. Uko bigaragara, Mose yagaragaje neza uko yumvaga ameze, ariko ntibyashimishije Yehova. Nyuma y’imyaka 40 Mose yari amaze ayoboye Abisirayeli, ntiyahawe igikundiro cyo kubageza mu Gihugu cy’Isezerano.—Kub 12:3; 20:10, 12; Zab 106:32.

6. Kuba abanyabwenge mu byo tuvuga bisobanura iki?

⁶ Ibyanditswe bidutera inkunga yo kwifata no kugira ubwenge cyangwa gushishoza mu gihe tuvuga. Bibiliya igira iti “amagambo menshi ntaburamo ibicumuro, uwirinda mu byo avuga ni umunyabwenge” (Imig 10:19; 17:27). Icyakora, kuba umunyabwenge ntibivuga ko umuntu atagomba kugira icyo avuga, ahubwo bisobanura ko avuga amagambo “arangwa n’ineza,” agakoresha ururimi kugira ngo akize, aho kugira ngo arukoreshe yicana.—Soma mu Migani 12:18; 18:21.

“Igihe cyo guceceka n’igihe cyo kuvuga”

7. Ni ayahe magambo tutagombye kuvuga, kandi kuki?

⁷ Nk’uko dukeneye kugaragaza ineza no kwifata mu gihe tuganira n’abo dukorana cyangwa abo duhura na bo mu murimo wo kubwiriza, ni na ko tubikeneye mu itorero no mu rugo. Kuvugana uburakari tugira ngo twumve dutuje mu mutima tutitaye ku ngaruka ibyo byaduteza, bishobora kuduteza akaga gakomeye mu buryo bw’umwuka, mu byiyumvo, kandi bikagateza n’abandi. Ikindi kandi byagira ingaruka ku buzima bwacu (Imig 18:6, 7). Tugomba kwifata ntitugaragaze ibyiyumvo bibi biranga kamere yacu idatunganye. Amagambo arimo gutukana, gukoba, gusuzugura hamwe n’umujinya urangwa n’urwango, ni mabi (Kolo 3:8; Yak 1:20). Ayo magambo ashobora gusenya imishyikirano y’agaciro kenshi dufitanye n’abandi, n’iyo dufitanye na Yehova. Yesu yagize ati “umuntu wese ukomeza kurakarira umuvandimwe we azabibazwa mu rukiko, umuntu wese ubwira umuvandimwe we amagambo atavugwa y’agasuzuguro akazabibazwa n’Urukiko rw’Ikirenga, naho umuntu wese ubwira undi ati ‘wa gicucu cy’ikiburaburyo we!,’ akaba akwiriye guhanirwa mu muriro wa Gehinomu.”—Mat 5:22.

8. Ni ryari twagaragaza ibyiyumvo byacu, ariko se mu buhe buryo?

⁸ Ariko hari ibibazo dushobora kubona ko ari ngombwa kuganiraho. Niba hari ikintu umuvandimwe yavuze cyangwa yakoze kikakubabaza ku buryo utashobora kucyihanganira, ntukareke ngo urwango rukomeze kwiyongera mu mutima wawe (Imig 19:11). Niba umuntu akurakaje, ujye utegeka uburakari bwawe, maze utere intambwe za ngombwa kugira ngo mukemure icyo kibazo. Pawulo yaranditse ati “izuba ntirikarenge mukirakaye.” Kubera ko icyo kibazo kiba gikomeje kukubabaza, ujye ushaka uburyo bwo kugikemura mu buryo burangwa n’ineza kandi mu gihe gikwiriye. (Soma mu Befeso 4:26, 27, 31.) Ujye uganira n’uwo muvandimwe nta cyo umukinze, ariko ukoresheje amagambo arangwa n’ineza ugamije kwiyunga na we.—Lewi 19:17; Mat 18:15.

9. Kuki twagombye gutegeka uburakari bwacu mbere y’uko tuganira n’abo dufitanye ibibazo?

⁹ Birumvikana ko wagombye kwitonda ugahitamo igihe gikwiriye. Hari “igihe cyo guceceka n’igihe cyo kuvuga” (Umubw 3:1, 7). Byongeye kandi, “umutima w’umukiranutsi utekereza icyo ari busubize” (Imig 15:28). Ibyo bishobora gusaba ko utegereza hagashira igihe runaka mbere y’uko uvuga ikibazo. Kuvuga ibirebana n’icyo kibazo mu gihe undi akirakaye bishobora gutuma ibintu birushaho kuzamba, ariko nanone si byiza gutegereza igihe kirekire cyane.

Ibikorwa birangwa n’ineza bituma habaho imishyikirano myiza

10. Ni gute gukora ibikorwa birangwa n’ineza bituma imishyikirano irushaho kuba myiza?

¹⁰ Amagambo arangwa n’ineza no kuganira neza bifasha abantu gukomeza kugirana imishyikirano irangwa n’amahoro. Mu by’ukuri, gukora uko dushoboye kose kugira ngo turusheho gushyikirana n’abandi bishobora gutuma turushaho kuganira na bo. Gufata iya mbere tugakorera abandi ibikorwa birangwa n’ineza, urugero nko gushaka uburyo bwo kubafasha, kubaha impano tubivanye ku mutima no kubakira, bishobora gutuma tubona uburyo bwo kuganira twisanzuye. Hari n’igihe byatuma ‘turunda amakara yaka’ ku muntu, kandi bigatuma agaragaza imico myiza maze akisanzura mu gihe avuga iby’ikibazo dufitanye.—Rom 12:20, 21.

11. Ni gute Yakobo yafashe iya mbere kugira ngo yiyunge na Esawu, kandi se ibyo byageze kuki?

¹¹ Ibyo umukurambere Yakobo yari abisobanukiwe. Esawu wavukanye na Yakobo ari impanga, yari yaramurakariye cyane ku buryo Yakobo yari yarahunze atinya ko yamwica. Hashize imyaka myinshi, Yakobo yaragarutse. Esawu yagiye kumusanganira ari kumwe n’abantu 400. Yakobo yasenze asaba Yehova kumufasha. Hanyuma yoherereje Esawu impano nyinshi zigizwe n’amatungo. Izo mpano zatumye agera ku ntego. Igihe bahuraga, Esawu yari yaracururutse, maze aragenda ahobera Yakobo.—Itang 27:41-44; 32:7, 12, 14-16; 33:4, 10.

Jya utera abandi inkunga ukoresheje amagambo arangwa n’ineza

12. Kuki twagombye gukoresha amagambo arangwa n’ineza mu gihe tuvugana n’abandi?

¹² Abakristo bakorera Imana ntibakorera abantu. Icyakora, muri kamere yacu tuba twifuza ko abandi batwemera. Amagambo yacu arangwa n’ineza ashobora gutuma imitwaro y’abavandimwe na bashiki bacu yoroha. Ariko kandi, amagambo ababaje yo kujora ashobora gutuma iyo mitwaro irushaho kuremera, ndetse agatuma bamwe bibaza niba bakemerwa na Yehova. Ku bw’ibyo, nimucyo tujye tuvugana n’abandi amagambo arimo ibintu bibatera inkunga tubikuye ku mutima, ‘tuvuge ijambo ryose ryiza ryo kubaka abandi mu gihe bikenewe, kugira ngo abaryumvise ribahe ikintu cyiza.’—Efe 4:29.

13. Ni iki abasaza bagombye kuzirikana (a) mu gihe batanga inama? (b) mu gihe bandika amabaruwa?

¹³ By’umwihariko, abasaza bagombye ‘kwiyoroshya’ bakita ku mukumbi babigiranye ubugwaneza (1 Tes 2:7, 8). Mu gihe bibaye ngombwa ko abasaza batanga inama, intego baba bafite ni ukuyitanga mu ‘bugwaneza,’ ndetse n’igihe baganira n’‘ababarwanya’ (2 Tim 2:24, 25). Nanone kandi, abasaza bagombye kurangwa n’ineza mu gihe bibaye ngombwa ko bandika amabaruwa bandikira indi nteko y’abasaza, cyangwa bandikira ibiro by’ishami. Bagombye kurangwa n’ineza kandi bakagira amakenga, mu buryo buhuje n’ibivugwa muri Matayo 7:12.

Jya ukoresha amagambo arangwa n’ineza mu muryango

14. Ni iyihe nama Pawulo yagiriye abagabo, kandi kuki?

¹⁴ Biroroshye cyane kudaha agaciro ingaruka amagambo yacu, isura yo mu maso n’ibimenyetso by’umubiri bigira ku bandi. Urugero, hari abagabo bamwe batamenya neza uko amagambo babwira abagore babo abagiraho ingaruka. Hari mushiki wacu wagize ati “iyo umugabo wanjye ankankamiye, bintera ubwoba.” Amagambo akarishye ashobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye ku mugore kurusha uko byamera ku mugabo, kandi ashobora kuyazirikana igihe kirekire (Luka 2:19). Ibyo ni ukuri by’umwihariko mu gihe ayo magambo avuzwe n’umuntu umugore akunda kandi yifuza kubaha. Pawulo yagiriye abagabo inama agira ati “mukomeze gukunda abagore banyu kandi ntimubasharirire.”—Kolo 3:19.

15. Tanga urugero rugaragaza impamvu umugabo yagombye kwita ku mugore we mu bugwaneza.

¹⁵ Ku birebana n’ibyo, hari umuvandimwe umaze igihe yarashatse watanze urugero rugaragaza impamvu umugabo yagombye kurangwa n’ubugwaneza mu gihe yita ku mugore we, akabona ko ari ‘urwabya rworoshye kurushaho.’ Yaravuze ati “iyo ufashe urwabya rw’agaciro kandi rworoshye cyane, ugomba kurufata wigengesereye kugira ngo rutameneka. Niyo rwameneka ukaruhoma, aho rwamenetse hakomeza kugaragara.” Yongeyeho ati “umugabo aramutse abwiye umugore we amagambo akarishye, ashobora kumukomeretsa. Ibyo bishobora gutuma mu mishyikirano bagirana hazamo agatotsi kamara igihe kirekire.”—Soma muri 1 Petero 3:7.

16. Ni gute umugore yatera umuryango we inkunga?

¹⁶ Abagabo na bo bashobora guterwa inkunga n’amagambo abandi bababwiye hakubiyemo n’ay’abagore babo, cyangwa akabaca intege. “Umugore witonda,” mbese wa wundi umugabo we ashobora ‘kwiringira,’ aha agaciro ibyiyumvo by’umugabo we nk’uko na we yifuza ko umugabo we aha agaciro ibye (Imig 19:14; 31:11). Koko rero, umugore ashobora gutuma mu muryango ibintu bigenda neza, cyangwa bikagenda nabi. Bibiliya igira iti “umugore w’umutima wese yubaka urugo, ariko umupfu we ubwe ararusenya.”—Imig 14:1.

17. (a) Ni gute abakiri bato bashobora kuganira n’ababyeyi babo? (b) Ni gute abantu bakuze baganira n’abakiri bato, kandi kuki?

¹⁷ Ababyeyi n’abana na bo bagombye kubwirana amagambo arangwa n’ineza (Mat 15:4). Mu gihe tuganira n’abana, gutekereza neza bizadufasha kwirinda ‘kubarakaza’ (Kolo 3:21; Efe 6:4). Nubwo abana baba bagomba guhanwa, ababyeyi n’abasaza bagomye kububaha mu gihe baganira na bo. Ibyo bituma gukosora abakiri bato byorohera abageze mu za bukuru, kandi bagakomeza kugirana imishyikirano myiza na Yehova. Ibyo ni byiza cyane kuruta gutuma bumva ko tubona ko barenze ihaniro, bikaba byatuma na bo babitekereza batyo. Abakiri bato bashobora kutibuka inama zose bahawe, ariko bakibuka uko abandi bagiye bababwira.

Jya uvuga ibintu byiza bikuri ku mutima

18. Ni gute twakwikuramo ibitekerezo n’ibyiyumvo bibi?

¹⁸ Gutegeka uburakari ntibivuga kugaragaza ko utuje gusa. Intego yacu yagombye kuba irenze iyo gutegeka uburakari bwacu. Kugerageza kugaragaza ko dutuje mu gihe mu mutima wacu uburakari bugurumana, biratubabaza. Ibyo twabigereranya no gukandagirira rimwe ku cyuma gituma imodoka yihuta na feri yayo. Ibyo byakwangiza imodoka. Ku bw’ibyo, ntugapfukirane umujinya maze ngo uzagaragare nyuma yaho. Jya usenga Yehova kugira ngo agufashe kwikuramo ubwo burakari. Jya ureka umwuka wa Yehova uhindure ibitekerezo byawe n’umutima wawe bihuze n’ibyo Yehova ashaka.—Soma mu Baroma 12:2; Abefeso 4:23, 24.

19. Ni izihe ntambwe twatera zikadufasha kwirinda gushyamirana?

¹⁹ Jya utera intambwe z’ingenzi. Niba uri ahantu hatuma urakara kandi ukumva uburakari burimo burushaho kwiyongera, bishobora kuba byiza uhavuye, bityo bigatuma ubona akanya ko gucururuka (Imig 17:14). Niba urimo uganira n’umuntu ukabona atangiye kurakara, jya ukora uko ushoboye kugira ngo urusheho kumubwira amagambo arangwa n’ineza. Ujye wibuka ko ‘gusubizanya ineza guhosha uburakari, ariko ko ijambo ribabaza ribyutsa umujinya’ (Imig 15:1). Amagambo ababaza, kabone n’iyo yaba avuzwe mu ijwi rituje, nta kindi amara uretse gutuma ibintu birushaho kuzamba (Imig 26:21). Ku bw’ibyo, niba ugeze mu mimerere ituma kwifata bikugora, ujye ‘wihutira kumva ariko utinde kuvuga.’ Ujye usenga usaba umwuka wera wa Yehova ugufashe gukomeza kuvuga ibintu byiza, aho kuvuga ibibi.—Yak 1:19.

Jya ubabarira ubikuye ku mutima

20, 21. Ni iki cyadufasha kubabarira abandi, kandi se kuki tugomba kubababarira?

²⁰ Ikibabaje ni uko nta n’umwe muri twe ushobora gutegeka ururimi rwe mu buryo butunganye (Yak 3:2). Nubwo abagize imiryango yacu, abavandimwe na bashiki bacu dukunda cyane, bashyiraho imihati imeze ite, hari igihe bavuga amagambo batatekerejeho ashobora kutubabaza. Aho kugira ngo duhite turakara, tujye dusuzuma twitonze impamvu yabiteye. (Soma mu Mubwiriza 7:8, 9.) Ese aho ntibaba babikoze kubera ko bari bahangayitse, bafite ubwoba, batameze neza cyangwa bahanganye n’ikibazo runaka tutazi?

²¹ Impamvu nk’izo ntitwazigira urwitwazo rwo kurakara. Ariko kuzimenya bishobora kudufasha gusobanukirwa impamvu hari igihe abantu bavuga ibintu batagombye kuvuga, cyangwa bagakora ibyo batagombye gukora. Ikindi kandi, bishobora kudufasha kubababarira. Twese twagiye tuvuga ibintu bibabaza abandi cyangwa twarabikoze, kandi twiringiye ko bazatubabarira mu bugwaneza (Umubw 7:21, 22). Yesu yavuze ko kugira ngo Imana itubabarire, tugomba kubabarira abandi (Mat 6:14, 15; 18:21, 22, 35). Ku bw’ibyo, twagombye kuba twiteguye gusaba imbabazi no kubabarira, bityo tugakomeza kurangwa n’urukundo, “rwo rwunga abantu mu buryo bwuzuye,” mu muryango wacu no mu itorero.—Kolo 3:14.

22. Kuki bikwiriye ko dushyiraho imihati kugira ngo dukoreshe amagambo arangwa n’ineza?

²² Ibintu bituma tubura ibyishimo kandi ntitubane mu bumwe, bishobora kuzagenda byiyongera muri iyi si irangwa n’abantu bakunda kurakara, yegereje iherezo. Gushyira mu bikorwa amahame aboneka mu Ijambo ry’Imana, bizadufasha gukoresha neza ururimi rwacu. Tuzarushaho kugirana imishyikirano irangwa n’amahoro n’abagize itorero hamwe n’abagize imiryango yacu, kandi urugero dutanga ruzabera abandi gihamya nziza cyane ku birebana n’“Imana [yacu Yehova] igira ibyishimo.”—1 Tim 1:11.

Ese ushobora gusobanura?

• Kuki ari iby’ingenzi guhitamo igihe gikwiriye cyo kuganira ku bibazo?

• Kuki abagize umuryango bagombye guhora babwirana amagambo “arangwa n’ineza”?

• Ni gute twakwirinda kuvuga amagambo ababaza?

• Ni iki cyadufasha kubabarira?

[Amafoto yo ku ipaji ya 21]

Jya ubanza ucururuke, hanyuma ushake igihe gikwiriye cyo kuvuga

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 23]

Umugabo yagombye kubwira umugore we amagambo arangwa n’ubugwaneza