Umuti w’ibibazo abashakanye bakunze guhura na byo

BIBILIYA igaragaza ko kubaka urugo atari ugukina. Intumwa Pawulo yahumekewe n’Imana, maze yandika ko abashakanye bari kuzahura n’“ingorane z’urudaca” (1 Abakorinto 7:28, Bibiliya Ntagatifu). Icyakora, hari byinshi abashakanye bashobora gukora kugira ngo bagabanye ingorane bahura na zo, kandi buri wese atume mugenzi we arushaho kugira ibyishimo. Reka dusuzume ibibazo bitandatu abagabo n’abagore bakunze guhura na byo, turebe n’ukuntu gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya byabafasha kubikemura.

IKIBAZO CYA 1

“Sinkibona uwo twashakanye.”

IHAME RYA BIBILIYA:

‘Mumenye neza ibintu by’ingenzi kurusha ibindi.’​—ABAFILIPI 1:10.

Urugo rwawe ni kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi cyane kurusha ibindi mu mibereho yawe. Ubwo rero, birakwiriye ko rufata umwanya w’ibanze. Ku bw’ibyo, reba niba gahunda zawe zitagira uruhare muri icyo kibazo. Ntukareke ngo imihihibikano ya buri munsi itume uba ukubiri n’uwo mwashakanye. Birumvikana ko akazi hamwe n’ibindi bintu udashobora kugira icyo ukoraho, bishobora gutuma umara igihe gito utari kumwe n’uwo mwashakanye. Ariko kandi, ushobora kugabanya igihe ukoresha ku bintu wagira icyo ukoraho, urugero nk’icyo umara wirangaza cyangwa uri kumwe n’incuti zawe, kandi ni ko wagombye kubigenza.

Icyakora, hari abagabo n’abagore bamwe na bamwe bakora amasaha y’ikirenga cyangwa bakongera igihe bamara birangaza, bagamije kwihunza abo bashakanye. Si ukuvuga ko abo bantu batifuza ‘kubonana’ n’abo bashakanye; ahubwo baba bahunga ibibazo. Niba wowe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye ari uko mumeze, mwagombye gusuzuma ikibitera maze mukagikemura. Gushaka umwanya wo gushyikirana n’uwo mwashakanye ni byo byonyine bizatuma mwunga ubumwe, maze ‘mukaba umubiri umwe’ koko.—Intangiriro 2:24.

Uko bamwe bashyize iyo nama mu bikorwa: Umugabo witwa Andrewa n’umugore we witwa Tanji bo muri Ositaraliya, bamaze imyaka icumi bashakanye. Andrew yaravuze ati “nabonye ko kumara igihe kirekire ku kazi cyangwa uri kumwe n’incuti zawe, bishobora gusenya urugo. Ku bw’ibyo, jye n’umugore wanjye dushaka umwanya wo kuganira, tukabwirana ibituri ku mutima.”

Dave na Jane baba muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, bamaranye imyaka 22. Buri mugoroba iyo bageze mu rugo, babanza kumarana iminota 30 babwirana uko umunsi wagenze kandi bakungurana ibitekerezo. Jane yaravuze ati “icyo kiba ari igihe cy’ingenzi, ku buryo tutemera ko hagira ikibangamira iyo gahunda.”

IKIBAZO CYA 2

“Sinkibona ibyo nari niteze ku wo twashakanye.”

IHAME RYA BIBILIYA:

“Buri wese ntakomeze gushaka inyungu ze bwite, ahubwo ashake iza mugenzi we.”​—1 ABAKORINTO 10:24.

Umuntu uhora ahangayikishijwe n’ibyo yiteze ku wo bashakanye, ntazigera agira ibyishimo nyakuri, n’iyo yashaka incuro zingana zite. Abashakanye bagira icyo bageraho iyo buri wese yiteguye kugira icyo atanga, aho gutegereza guhabwa. Yesu yagaragaje ko ibyo ari ngombwa agira ati “gutanga bihesha ibyishimo kuruta guhabwa.”—Ibyakozwe 20:35.

Uko bamwe bashyize iyo nama mu bikorwa: Maria na Martin baba muri Megizike, bamaze imyaka 39 babana. Ariko hari igihe bajya bahura n’ibibazo. Hari ikibazo gikomeye bigeze guhura na cyo. Maria yaravuze ati “nigeze gutongana na Martin, ngera ubwo mubwira ijambo ribi cyane rimutesha agaciro, maze ahita abisha. Nagerageje kumusobanurira ko ntabivuze nkomeje ahubwo ko byatewe n’uburakari, ariko yanga kubyumva.” Martin yaravuze ati “igihe twarimo dutongana, numvaga rwose ntagishoboye kubana na we, kandi ko ntagomba gukomeza kumwihambiraho.”

Mu by’ukuri Martin yifuzaga kubahwa, Maria na we akifuza ko Martin amwumva; ariko nta n’umwe wabonaga icyo yifuzaga.

None se icyo kibazo bagikemuye bate? Martin yaravuze ati “nararetse uburakari burashira, maze twembi twiyemeza gushyira mu bikorwa inama zirangwa n’ubwenge Bibiliya itanga zo kubaha abandi no kubagaragariza ineza. Mu gihe cy’imyaka myinshi, twabonye ko uko ibibazo twahura na byo byaba bingana kose, dushobora kubikemura dusenga Imana tuyisaba kudufasha, kandi tugakurikiza inama ziboneka muri Bibiliya.”—Yesaya 48:17, 18; Abefeso 4:31, 32.

IKIBAZO CYA 3

“Uwo twashakanye ntasohoza inshingano ze.”

IHAME RYA BIBILIYA:

“Buri wese muri twe azamurikira Imana ibyo yakoze.”​—ABAROMA 14:12.

Ni iby’ukuri ko iyo umwe mu bashakanye ari we usohoza inshingano z’urugo wenyine, ibibazo bitabura kuvuka. Ariko ibintu birushaho kuzamba iyo bombi batereye iyo, bagatangira kwitana bamwana.

Niba wibanda cyane ku byo uwo mwashakanye yagombye gukora, ntuzigera unyurwa. Ibyo ni ko bizakugendekera, cyane cyane niba amakosa uwo mwashakanye akora, uyagira urwitwazo rwo kudasohoza inshingano zawe. Ku rundi ruhande ariko, niwihatira kuba umugabo mwiza cyangwa umugore w’umutima, muzarushaho kubana neza (1 Petero 3:1-3). Ikiruta byose, muzaba mugaragaje ko mwubaha Imana yo yatangije ishyingiranwa, kandi muzayishimisha cyane.—1 Petero 2:19.

Uko bamwe bashyize iyo nama mu bikorwa: Kim n’umugabo we bo muri Koreya, bamaze imyaka 38 bashakanye. Kim yaravuze ati “hari igihe umugabo wanjye andakarira, maze akanga kumvugisha kandi ntazi n’impamvu yabimuteye. Ibyo bituma numva ko atakinkunda. Najyaga nibaza nti ‘ariko se ubundi kuki ashaka ko mwumva kandi we atanyumva?’”

Kim yashoboraga kwibanda ku kuntu uwo bashakanye atamwumva no ku ntege nke ze, ariko si ko yabigenje. Yaravuze ati “aho gukomeza kurakara, nabonye ko byaba byiza ngiye mfata iya mbere kugira ngo dukemure ikibazo. Iyo tubigenje dutyo, tugera aho tugacururuka, maze tukaganira ku bibazo twari dufitanye mu mahoro.”—Yakobo 3:18.

IKIBAZO CYA 4

“Umugore wanjye aransuzugura.”

IHAME RYA BIBILIYA:

‘Umutware w’umugabo wese ni Kristo.’​—1 ABAKORINTO 11:3.

Umugabo wumva ko umugore we atamugandukira, yagombye kubanza kwisuzuma, akareba niba na we yiteguye kugandukira Umutware we, ari we Yesu Kristo. Umugabo ashobora kugaragaza ko agandukira Yesu akurikiza urugero rwe.

Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “bagabo, mukomeze gukunda abagore banyu nk’uko Kristo na we yakunze itorero kandi akaryitangira” (Abefeso 5:25). Yesu ‘ntiyatwazaga igitugu’ abigishwa be (Mariko 10:42-44). Yabahaga amabwiriza yumvikana, byaba ngombwa akanabakosora, ariko ntiyabatwazaga igitugu. Yari umugwaneza kandi yamenyaga aho ubushobozi bwabo bugarukira (Matayo 11:29, 30; Mariko 6:30, 31; 14:37, 38). Buri gihe yitaga ku byo babaga bakeneye mbere yo kwita ku bye.—Matayo 20:25-28.

Umugabo yagombye kubanza kwibaza ati “ese uko mbona ubutware n’uko mbona abagore, bihuje n’inama za Bibiliya n’ingero zibonekamo, cyangwa nkurikiza umuco w’iwacu?” Urugero, ubona ute umugore utumvikana n’umugabo we ku kintu runaka, maze akamubwira uko abona ibintu akomeje, ariko amwubashye? Umugore wa Aburahamu witwaga Sara uvugwa muri Bibiliya, yatanze urugero rwiza mu birebana no kuganduka (1 Petero 3:1, 6). Icyakora, iyo byabaga ngombwa, yatangaga igitekerezo, urugero nk’igihe Aburahamu atari yabonye akaga kari kugarije umuryango wabo.—Intangiriro 16:5; 21:9-12.

Birumvikana ko Aburahamu atigeze amukangara agamije kumucecekesha; ntiyamutwazaga igitugu. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, umugabo ushyira mu bikorwa inama Bibiliya itanga, ntazashyira iterabwoba ku mugore we amuhatira gukora buri kintu cyose avuze. Umugore we azamwubaha ari uko akoresheje ubutware mu buryo burangwa n’impuhwe.

Uko bamwe bashyize iyo nama mu bikorwa: James uba mu Bwongereza kandi akaba amaze imyaka umunani ashatse, yaravuze ati “ndimo nditoza kudafata imyanzuro ikomeye ntabanje kubiganiraho n’umugore wanjye. Ngerageza kutizirikana, ahubwo nkihatira gushyira ibyo yifuza mu mwanya wa mbere.”

George aba muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, kandi amaze imyaka 59 ashatse. Yaravuze ati “nagerageje kubona umugore wanjye nk’umufasha uzi ubwenge kandi ushoboye, aho kumubona nk’aho nta cyo ari cyo.”—Imigani 31:10.

IKIBAZO CYA 5

“Umugabo wanjye ntafata iya mbere.”

IHAME RYA BIBILIYA:

“Umugore w’umunyabwenge rwose yubaka urugo rwe, ariko umupfapfa arusenyesha amaboko ye.”​—IMIGANI 14:1.

Niba umugabo wawe atinda gufata imyanzuro cyangwa ntiyite ku nshingano z’urugo, hari ibintu bitatu uba ushobora gukora. (1) Ushobora kujya umuhoza ku nkeke, umwereka ibyo adashoboye, cyangwa (2) ukigarurira ubutware bwe, cyangwa se (3) ukajya umushimira ubivanye ku mutima kubera imihati ashyiraho. Uramutse ukoze kimwe muri ibyo bibiri bya mbere, wazisenyera. Ariko nuhitamo gukora icya gatatu, uziyubakira.

Abagabo benshi bakunda icyubahiro kurusha gukundwa. Ku bw’ibyo, niwubaha umugabo wawe, ukamwereka ko imihati ashyiraho mu kuyobora umuryango ifite akamaro kandi ko uyishimira, birashoboka ko azarushaho gusohoza inshingano ze neza. Birumvikana ko hari ibyo utazajya wumvikanaho n’umugabo wawe. Icyo gihe mwembi muba mugomba kubiganiraho (Imigani 18:13). Icyakora, amagambo ukoresha n’uko uyavuga bishobora gutuma wisenyera cyangwa ukiyubakira (Imigani 21:9; 27:15). Nubwira umugabo wawe icyo utekereza ariko umwubashye, ni bwo uzagera kuri ya ntego wifuza yo kugira umugabo ufata iya mbere mu gusohoza inshingano ze.

Uko bamwe bashyize iyo nama mu bikorwa: Michele uba muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika akaba amaze imyaka 30 ashatse, yaravuze ati “kubera ko mama yatureze atabana n’umugabo we, yari umugore utavugirwamo kandi wumva ko yihagije. Hari igihe nanjye mwigana. Ubwo rero, mpora mpatana kugira ngo ngandukire umugabo wanjye uko bikwiriye. Urugero, nitoje kugisha inama umugabo wanjye aho guhita nifatira umwanzuro.”

Rachel aba muri Ositaraliya kandi amaze imyaka 21 ashakanye na Mark, ariko imimerere yakuriyemo yamugizeho ingaruka. Yaravuze ati “mama ntiyigeze agandukira data. Yahoraga amusuzugura kandi bagahora batongana. Ubwo rero nanjye nkimara gushaka, ni uko nabigenzaga. Icyakora uko imyaka yagendaga ihita indi igataha, nitoje gukurikiza amahame yo muri Bibiliya arebana no kubaha. Ubu jye na Mark tubanye neza.”

IKIBAZO CYA 6

“Singishoboye kwihanganira ingeso z’uwo twashakanye.”

IHAME RYA BIBILIYA:

“Mukomeze kwihanganirana no kubabarirana rwose igihe umuntu agize icyo apfa n’undi.”​—ABAKOLOSAYI 3:13.

Igihe warambagizaga uwo mwari kuzabana, ushobora kuba waribandaga cyane ku mico ye myiza, ku buryo wabonaga asa n’aho nta kosa agira. Ese ushobora kugerageza kongera kumubona nk’uko wamubonaga icyo gihe? Birashoboka rwose ko hari ibyo akora bikubangamira. Icyakora wagombye kwibaza uti “imico y’uwo twashakanye nakwibandaho ni iyihe? Ese ni imyiza cyangwa ni imibi?”

Yesu yakoresheje urugero rwiza cyane rugaragaza ko twagombye kwirengagiza amakosa y’abandi. Yarabajije ati “kuki ubona akatsi kari mu jisho ry’umuvandimwe wawe, ariko ukirengagiza ingiga iri mu jisho ryawe” (Matayo 7:3)? Hari itandukaniro rinini hagati y’akatsi n’ingiga. Akatsi ni gato cyane ukagereranyije n’ingiga. Iyo ni yo mpamvu Yesu yavuze ati “banza ukure iyo ngiga mu jisho ryawe, ni bwo uzabasha kureba neza uko wakura akatsi mu jisho ry’umuvandimwe wawe.”—Matayo 7:5.

Mbere y’uko Yesu atanga urwo rugero, yatanze umuburo ushishikaje ugira uti “nimureke gucira abandi urubanza, kugira ngo namwe mutazarucirwa, kuko urubanza muca ari rwo namwe muzacirwa” (Matayo 7:1, 2). Niba wifuza ko Imana yirengagiza amakosa yawe, ni ukuvuga ingiga iri mu jisho ryawe, ni iby’ingenzi cyane ko nawe wirengagiza amakosa y’uwo mwashakanye.—Matayo 6:14, 15.

Uko bamwe bashyize iyo nama mu bikorwa: Jenny uba mu Bwongereza, akaba amaze imyaka icyenda ashakanye na Simon, yaravuze ati “icyo nkunda gupfa n’umugabo wanjye ni uko atajya akora ibintu hakiri kare, ahubwo akabikora ku munota wa nyuma. Ariko ntibyumvikana, kuko tukirambagizanya namukundiraga ko yari wa muntu uhita agira icyo akora mu gihe ibintu byihutirwa. Icyakora, ubu numva ko nanjye ntari shyashya, kuko nkabya kugenzura abantu cyane. Ubu yaba jye cyangwa Simon, buri wese arimo aritoza kwirengagiza udukosa twa mugenzi we.”

Curt twigeze kuvuga, akaba yarashakanye na Michele yaravuze ati “niwibanda ku makosa y’uwo mwashakanye, amaherezo uzayakuririza. Ubu nibanda ku mico yatumye nkunda Michele igihe twarambagizanyaga.”

Ibanga ryo kugira urugo rwiza

Izo ngero nke zigaragaza ko byanze bikunze abashakanye bazahura n’ibibazo, ariko ko ibyo bibazo bishobora gukemuka. None se ibanga ni irihe? Mujye mwitoza gukunda Imana no gushyira mu bikorwa inama ziboneka mu Ijambo ryayo, ari ryo Bibiliya.

Umugabo witwa Alex n’umugore we witwa Itohan baba muri Nijeriya, bakaba bamaranye imyaka irenga 20, na bo bamenye iryo banga. Alex yaravuze ati “nabonye ko burya ibibazo abashakanye bahura na byo hafi ya byose, bishobora gukemuka baramutse bashyize mu bikorwa amahame aboneka muri Bibiliya.” Umugore we agira ati “twiboneye ko gusengera hamwe buri gihe, gushyira mu bikorwa inama ziboneka muri Bibiliya, gukundana by’ukuri no kwihanganirana, ari iby’ingenzi. Ubu ibibazo duhura na byo ni bike cyane ugereranyije n’ibyo twahuye na byo tugishakana.”

Mbese wifuza kumenya byinshi kurushaho ku birebana n’icyo wakora, kugira ngo inama z’ingirakamaro ziboneka mu Ijambo ry’Imana zigufashe kugira urugo rwiza? Niba ubyifuza, uzasabe Abahamya ba Yehova kuganira nawe ku bivugwa mu gice cya 14 cy’igitabo Ni iki mu by’ukuri Bibiliya yigisha?b

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

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Ese tujya dushaka umwanya wo kuganira

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Ese nihatira gutanga ibiruta ibyo mpabwa?

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Ese mfata iya mbere mu guhosha intonganya?

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Ese iyo ngiye gufata umwanzuro mbanza kubiganiraho n’umugore wanjye?

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Ese nibanda ku mico myiza y’uwo twashakanye?