INGINGO YO KU GIFUBIKO

Ihohoterwa rikorerwa mu ngo rizacika rite?

Inkuru ya 1: Ababyeyi ba Isabela baje kumusura. Ni nimugoroba, barimo barasabana n’umukobwa wabo Isabel n’umugabo we, ndetse baraganira bishimye. Kandi reka bishime ni mu gihe, kuko babona ko umukwe wabo abafatiye umukobwa neza.

Inkuru ya 2: Frank afite umujinya. Ubusanzwe iyo afite umujinya awutura umugore we, akamukubita inshyi, akamutera imigeri, akamupfura imisatsi, cyangwa agahonda umutwe we ku rukuta.

USHOBORA gutangazwa n’uko ibivugwa muri izo nkuru byabaye mu muryango umwe.

Akenshi abantu bahohotera abo bashakanye biyerekana uko batari

Kimwe n’abandi benshi bahohotera abo bashakanye, iyo Frank ari kumwe n’abandi bantu cyangwa sebukwe na nyirabukwe, ubona ari umuntu mwiza, yaba ari kumwe n’umugore we agahinduka inyamaswa.

Abagabo benshi bameze nka Frank, baba barakuriye mu miryango y’abanyarugomo, maze bamara kuba bakuru bakumva ko imyifatire nk’iyo nta cyo itwaye. Icyakora, ihohoterwa rikorerwa mu ngo si ikintu gisanzwe. Ni yo mpamvu iyo abantu benshi bumvise inkuru y’umugabo wakubise umugore we bumva ko ari amahano.

Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko, ihohoterwa nk’iryo rimaze gufata indi ntera. Urugero, muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko hari umunsi abantu barenga 16 bahamagaraga buri munota bavuga ko bahohotewe n’abo bashakanye. Iryo hohoterwa rimaze kuba icyorezo hirya no hino ku isi. Abantu b’ingeri zose baribasirwa hatitawe ku muco wabo, urwego rw’imibereho cyangwa ubwoko bwabo. Kubera ko hari abahohoterwa ntibabivuge, nta gushidikanya ko ibintu byazambye kuruta uko imibare ibigaragaza.b

Raporo zivuga iby’ihohoterwa ryo mu ngo zituma havuka ibibazo bitandukanye. Bishoboka bite ko umugabo yakora ibikorwa by’ubugome nk’ibyo, cyane cyane abikorera umugore we? Ese hari icyakorwa ngo abagabo bakubita abagore babireke?

Abahamya ba Yehova, ari na bo banditsi b’iyi gazeti, bizera ko inama zo muri Bibiliya zishobora gufasha abagabo n’abagore b’abanyamahane, bagahindura imyifatire yabo. Ese biroroshye? Oya rwose. Ariko se birashoboka? Yego. Kwiga Bibiliya byafashije abantu benshi kureka urugomo, baba abagwaneza kandi bubaha abandi (Abakolosayi 3:8-10). Reka dusuzume inkuru y’ibyabaye kuri Troy na Valerie.

Mwari mubanye mute?

Valerie: Mu ijoro twemeranyije ko tuzabana, Troy yankubise urushyi ku buryo namaze icyumweru cyose narabyimbiwe. Yansabye imbabazi abikuye ku mutima ambwira ko atazongera. Ibyo byarakomeje no mu myaka yakurikiyeho.

Troy: Narakazwaga n’ubusa, urugero nk’iyo umugore wanjye yatindaga guhisha. Hari igihe nakubise Valerie pisitori. Ikindi gihe naramukubise mugira inoge, ngira ngo yapfuye. Hanyuma nagerageje kumutera ubwoba, mfatira icyuma ku ijosi ry’umwana wacu, mukangisha ko ngiye kumwica.

Valerie: Nari narahahamutse. Hari igihe nahukanaga nkazagaruka Troy yaramaze gucururuka. Nubwo yari yarandembeje, ibitutsi bye byarambabazaga kuruta kunkubita.

None se Troy, ubundi wahoze uri umunyamahane?

Troy: Yego. Natangiye kugira amahane nkiri muto kuko nakuriye mu muryango wahoragamo urugomo. Data yahoraga akubitira mama imbere yanjye n’abo tuvukana. Amaze kwigendera, mama yashakanye n’undi mugabo, maze na we akajya amukubita. Uwo mugabo yageze ubwo jye na mushiki wanjye adufata ku ngufu maze arafungwa. Birumvikana ko ibyo ntagombye kubigira urwitwazo rwo kugira urugomo.

None se Valerie, kuki wemeye kugumana n’umugabo wawe?

Valerie: Nari mfite ubwoba. Naribazaga nti “ubu se ndamutse ngiye, ntiyazampiga akanyica cyangwa akica ababyeyi banjye? Ubwo se mureze maze ibintu bikarushaho kuzamba byagenda bite?”

Watangiye guhinduka ryari?

Troy: Abahamya ba Yehova batangiye kwigisha umugore wanjye Bibiliya. Nabanje kumugirira ishyari bitewe n’incuti yari amaze kunguka, nkumva ko nagombaga kumuvana muri iryo dini nabonaga ko ari inzaduka. Ibyo byatumye ndushaho kugirira Valerie n’abandi Bahamya urugomo. Ariko umunsi umwe, umuhungu wacu w’imyaka 4 witwa Daniel wajyaga arwara igicuri, yamaze mu bitaro ibyumweru bigera hafi kuri bitatu. Muri icyo gihe cyose, Abahamya baradufashije cyane, ku buryo bashyizeho gahunda yo kwita ku mukobwa wacu witwa Desiree w’imyaka 6. Hari Umuhamya wari waraye ijoro ryose ku kazi, ariko yiriwe arwaje Daniel, kugira ngo Valerie aryame ho gato. Nubwo nasuzuguraga Abahamya, ineza yabo yankoze ku mutima cyane. Naje kubona ko Abahamya ari bo Bakristo b’ukuri, hanyuma mbasaba kunyigisha Bibiliya. Mu gihe nigaga Bibiliya, namenye uko umugabo yagombye gufata umugore we. Nahise ndeka urugomo no gutukana, amaherezo mba Umuhamya wa Yehova.

Ni ayahe mahame yo muri Bibiliya yagufashije?

Troy: Ni menshi. Muri 1 Petero 3:7, Bibiliya ivuga ko nagombye ‘kubaha’ umugore wanjye. Mu Bagalatiya 5:23, Bibiliya idutera inkunga yo “kwitonda” no “kumenya kwifata.” Mu Befeso 4:31, hamagana ibyo “gutukana.” Mu Baheburayo 4:13, havuga ko “ibintu byose bitwikuruwe imbere” y’Imana. Ubwo rero Imana ibona imyifatire yanjye, nubwo abaturanyi banjye batayibona. Nanone namenye ko nagombaga guhindura incuti, kuko “kwifatanya n’ababi byonona imyifatire myiza” (1 Abakorinto 15:33). Abahoze ari incuti zanjye banshishikarizaga kugira urugomo. Bumvaga ko gukubita umugore bituma atagusuzugura.

None se ubu mubanye mute?

Valerie: Troy amaze imyaka 25 ari Umuhamya wa Yehova. Kuva icyo gihe arankunda, akamfata neza kandi akanyubaha.

Troy: Nta cyo nakora ngo mpindure uko nababaje umugore wanjye, kandi rwose ntibyari bikwiriye ko mukorera ibyo namukoreye. Ariko ntegerezanyije amatsiko igihe ibivugwa muri Yesaya 65:17 bizasohorera, maze ibyaturanze bikibagirana.

Ni iyihe nama mwagira abari mu miryango ikirangwa n’ihohoterwa?

Troy: Niba utuka uwo mwashakanye cyangwa ukamukubita, jya wemera ko ukeneye inama, kandi uzisabe. Hari inama nyinshi zabigufashamo. Kwiga Bibiliya mbifashijwemo n’Abahamya ba Yehova no kwifatanya na bo, byamfashije kureka urugomo.

Valerie: Jya wirinda kugereranya umuryango wawe n’uw’abandi, cyangwa ngo ukurikize inama abantu bakugira bibwira ko ari zo zigukwiriye. Nubwo abantu bose bitazabagendekera nk’uko byagenze mu muryango wacu, nshimishwa n’uko nagumanye n’umugabo wanjye, kuko ubu tubanye neza!

HEHE N’IHOHOTERWA RIKORERWA MU NGO!

Kwiga Bibiliya byafashije abagabo benshi guhinduka

Bibiliya igira iti “Ibyanditswe byera byose byahumetswe n’Imana, kandi bifite akamaro ko kwigisha no gucyaha no gushyira ibintu mu buryo” (2 Timoteyo 3:16). Kimwe na Troy wavuzwe muri iyi nkuru, hari abantu benshi bahohoteraga abo bashakanye, maze inama zo muri Bibiliya zituma bahindura imyumvire n’imyifatire.

Ese wifuza kumenya inama Bibiliya itanga zagirira akamaro umuryango wawe? Baza Abahamya ba Yehova bo hafi y’iwanyu, cyangwa ujye kuri www.jw.org/rw.

a Muri iyi ngingo amazina amwe n’amwe yarahinduwe.

b Nta wahakana ko hari abagabo benshi bakubitwa n’abagore. Ariko kandi, raporo zigaragaza ko ahanini abagabo ari bo bahohotera abagore babo.

KUKI BATIGENDERA?

Kuki abagore bamwe na bamwe bahitamo kugumana n’abagabo babo kandi babahohotera? Ahanini biterwa no gutinya ko baramutse bigendeye, ibintu byarushaho kuzamba. Hari abagabo bakangisha abagore babo ko nibaramuka bahukanye bazabagirira nabi cyangwa bakabica. Kandi koko hari abo byagiye bibaho.

Abandi bagore batinya kugenda, batekereza ko incuti zabo na bene wabo bashobora kubarwanya, ntibumve ko imimerere barimo iteje akaga. Urugero, Isabel wavuzwe mu ntangiriro y’iyi ngingo yahisemo guta umugabo we. Yaravuze ati “mukuru wanjye yarandakariye, maze antegeka gusubirayo. Yatekerezaga ko umugabo wanjye ari mwiza ku buryo atagira ubugome nk’ubwo. Abaturanyi bose baranyamaganye, biba ngombwa ko jye n’abana banjye dusubirayo.”

Icyakora, hari izindi mpamvu zituma abagore bamwe na bamwe bahitamo kugumana n’abagabo babo:

Baba bifuza ko abana babo barerwa n’ababyeyi babo bombi.
Baba bumva ko batazashobora kwitunga ngo batunge n’abana babo.
Baba bumva ko ari bo bafite amakosa.
Batinya kuvuga ko bahohoterwa.
Baba bumva ko ibintu bizahinduka.

Abahamya ba Yehova bakurikiza ihame ryo muri Bibiliya rivuga ko impamvu imwe rukumbi ituma umuntu atana n’uwo bashakanye ari ubusambanyi (Matayo 5:32). Icyakora, hari impamvu zishobora gutuma bamwe bahukana, muri zo hakaba harimo urugomo rukabije bagirirwa n’abo bashakanye.