Kufanele Ubayale Njani Bantfwana Bakho?

“Ngalalela umsindvo wetimoto lebetindlula ngite sineke. Leli bese kulihlandla lesitsatfu Jordan aphule umtsetfo wekungabuyi ngesikhatsi lebesimbekele sona. Bengitibuta kutsi ukuphi? Usenkingeni yini? Kuyamkhatsata yini kutsi tsine sikhatsatekile kutsi solo akabuyi? Ngesikhatsi efika, bese ngitfukutsele ngibila.”—GEORGE.

“Indvodzakati yami yamemeta futsi loko kwangenta ngetfuka. Ngatsi nangigucukela ngakuyo ngayibona ibambe inhloko yayo ikhala. Umnakabo loneminyaka lemine abesandza kuyishaya.”—NICOLE.

“‘Angikayebi lendandatho. Ngiyidobhile!’ yasho njalo indvodzakati yetfu, Natalie, leneminyaka lesitfupha, emehlo ayo labekatincengela kubonakala shengatsi ite licala. Kuphika kwayo kanyenti kwasivisa buhlungu kangangekutsi sakhala. Besati kamhlophe kutsi icamba emanga.”—STEPHEN.

NANGABE ungumtali, ungasilandzisela yini ngebuhlungu lesibuphawulile kulabo lesisandza kucoca ngabo? Nawuvelelwa simo lesinjengalesi, uyatibuta yini kutsi kufanele ngimyale yini umntfwanami futsi loko ngikwente kanjani? Kuyintfo lembi yini kuyala umntfwanakho?

SIYINI SIYALO?

EBhayibhelini, ligama lelitsi ‘siyalo’ akusilo nje lelinye ligama lelisho kujezisa. Siyalo ngalokuyinhloko sihlobene nesicondziso, kufundzisa kanye nekulungisa. Siyalo asihlobani nekuhlukumeta nobe lunya.—Taga 4:1, 2.

Siyalo lesivela kumtali singase sifananiswe nekulima ingadze. Umuntfu lolime ingadze uwulungisa kahle umhlabatsi, anisele, aphindze anakekele sihlahla futsi asivikele etilokataneni kanye naselukhuleni. Njengobe sihlahla sikhula, umlimi kungase kudzingeke atsene sihlahla kuze asisite sikhule kahle. Umlimi uyaphawula kutsi kusebentisa buciko lobehlukahlukene kungamsita akhicite sihlahla lesihle. Ngalokufananako, batali banakekela bantfwababo ngetindlela letehlukahlukene. Ngalesinye sikhatsi kudzingeka kutsi babayale lokuyintfo lefanana nekutsena, futsi kungadzingeka balungise imicabango yabo lemibi basebancane baphindze basite bantfwababo kuze bakhone kutsatsa indlela lefanele. Kutsena kufanele kwentiwe ngekucophelela ngobe nakungakentiwa njalo kungasikhinyabeta sihlahla. Ngalokufananako, siyalo lesivela kubatali kumelwe sentiwe ngelutsandvo.

Jehova longuNkulunkulu lowaphefumulela kubhalwa kweliBhayibheli, ubekela batali sibonelo lesihle kulendzaba. Siyalo lasiniketa tikhonti takhe letilalelako letisemhlabeni siyasebenta futsi siyakhanga kangangekutsi letikhonti ‘tiyakutsandza kuyalwa.’ (Taga 12:1) “Tibambelela emyalweni” futsi ‘atiwuyekeli.’ (Taga 4:13) Ungamsita umntfwanakho kutsi asemukele siyalo ngekutsi usebentise emaphuzu lamatsatfu lamcoka esiyalo saNkulunkulu. Lamaphuzu ahlanganisa (1) lutsandvo, (2) kucabangela, kanye (3) nekungagucuki.

SIYALO LESINELUTSANDVO

Lutsandvo lusisekelo kanye nembangela yesiyalo saNkulunkulu. LiBhayibheli litsi: ‘Simakadze uyamyala amcondzise lowo lamtsandzako, njengobe neyise enta endvodzaneni yakhe lajabula ngayo.’ (Taga 3:12) Ngetulu kwaloko, Jehova ‘unesihawu nemusa; uyephuta kutfukutsela.’ (Eksodusi 34:6) Ngaleso sizatfu, Jehova akwenteki ahlukumete nobe abe nelunya. Akwenteki asebentise emagama ekukhahlameta agceke nobe aphukute ngendlela lebuhlungu, lokutintfo letingalimata ‘njengekuhlaba kwesikhali.’—Taga 12:18.

Make ulalela indvodzakati yakhe ngesineke — LALELA

Kuliciniso kutsi yintfo lengeke yenteke kutsi batali basilingise ngalokuphelele sibonelo saNkulunkulu sekutibamba. Ngalesinye sikhatsi kungenteka kutsi kubeketela kwakho kufike ekugcineni kodvwa etikhatsini letinjalo letimatima, hlale ukhumbula kutsi siyalo lesisekelwe elulakeni sivame kucindzetela, kwecisa futsi asibi nemiphumela. Ngetulu kwaloko, kujezisa lokuhambisana nelulaka nobe kutfukutsela akusiso siyalo. Kumane nje kuyinkomba yekwehluleka kutibamba.

Ngakulolunye luhlangotsi, nangabe ukhipha siyalo ngelutsandvo nangekutibamba kungenteka utfole imiphumela lemihle. Cabanga ngaloko lokwentiwa nguGeorge kanye naNicole, batali lababili labacashunwe ekucaleni kwalesihloko.

Babe lonelutsandvo uthantaza nendvodzana yakhe — THANTAZA

“Ngesikhatsi Jordan afika, mine nemkami besitfukutsele kakhulu kodvwa sakhona kutibamba sibe silalele inchazelo yakhe. Njengobe bese kwephute kakhulu sancuma kucoca ngalendzaba elangeni lelilandzelako ekuseni. Sathantaza ndzawonye sase siyahamba siyolala. Ngelilanga lelilandzelako bese sisesimeni lesikahle kakhulu sekucoca ngalesimo ngemoya lophansi siphindze sifinyelele inhlitiyo yendvodzana yetfu. Wawemukela ngekutitsandzela umtsetfo lebesimshayele wona futsi wavuma kubhekana nemiphumela yekutiphatsa kwakhe. Saphawula kutsi kusheshe uphendvule nangabe bantfu batfukutsele akuzuzisi. Nangabe sincuma kutsi silalele kucala, tintfo betivame kusihambela kahle.”—George.

Make lokhatsalelako ucocisana nendvodzakati yakhe — KHULUMA

“Ngatfukutsela kakhulu nangibona kulimala lebekwentiwe yindvodzana yami kudzadze wabo. Kunekutsi ngitsatse sinyatselo ngekushesha, ngatsi ayiye ekamelweni layo ngobe bengitfukutsele kakhulu kutsi ngingenta sincumo lesibhadlile. Ngemuva kwesikhashana, naseyehlile intfukutselo ngayichazela kutsi budlova abemukeleki ngaphindze ngayikhombisa kutsi imlimate kangakanani dzadze wabo. Lendlela yangisebentela kahle kakhulu. Yacolisa kudzadze wabo yaphindze yamgaca.”—Nicole.

Kuliciniso, siyalo lesifanele ngisho nobe sifaka ekhatsi kujezisa sihlale sihambisana nelutsandvo.

KUYALA LOKUCABANGELAKO

Siyalo saJehova sihlale sikhishwa ngelizinga ‘lelifanele.’ (Jeremiya 30:11; 46:28) Ucabangela tonkhe timo tendzaba, lokufaka ekhatsi letinganakeki. Batali bangamlingisa njani? Stephen lokukhulunywe ngaye ekucaleni uyachaza: “Nanobe seva buhlungu kakhulu futsi sangakucondzi kuphikelela kwekungavumi kwaNatalie endzabeni yendandatho, setama kucabangela budzala bakhe kanye nelizinga lekuvutfwa kwakhe.”

Robert, loyindvodza yaNicole naye wetama kucabangela tonkhe timo. Nangabe bantfwana beyana, uvame kutibuta: ‘Loku kuyacala yini kwenteka nobe sekungumkhuba? Lomntfwana udziniwe yini nobe uyagula? Lendlela yekutiphatsa iluphawu lwalenye inkinga yini lanayo?’

Batali labacabangelako bayaphawula nekutsi bantfwana babo basengakabi badzala. Umphostoli longumKhristu, Pawula waliphawula lelo ciniso nakabhala kutsi: “Ngesikhatsi ngisengumntfwana, ngangikhulumisa kwemntfwana, ngicabangisa kwemntfwana.” (1 Khorinte 13:11) Robert utsi: “Lenye intfo lengisitako kuze ngibeke tintfo endzaweni lefanele ngiphindze ngibalekele kwecisa kutikhumbuta kutsi mine bengenta njani ngesikhatsi ngisengumfana.”

Kubalulekile kulinganisela kuloko lokulindzele futsi esikhatsini lesifanako ungatsetseleli nobe uvune kutiphatsa lokubi nobe timo tengcondvo letimbi. Ngekucabangela emakhono emntfwana wakho, kulinganisela kwakhe kanye naletinye timo, utawuciniseka kutsi siyalo losinika umntfwanakho singulesifanele futsi siyacabangela.

KUYALA LOKUNGAGUCUKI

Malakhi 3:6 utsi: “Mine, Simakadze, angigucuki.” Tinceku taNkulunkulu tincika kuleliciniso futsi titiva tivikelekile ngekwati loko. Bantfwana nabo badzinga kutiva bavikelekile ngekutfola kuyalwa lokungagucuki. Nangabe indlela yakho ishintjashintja kuye ngekutsi utiva njani, umntfwanakho kungenteka adideke nobe amangale.

Khumbula kutsi Jesu watsi: “‘Yebo’ wenu akabe nguyebo, na-‘cha’ wenu abe ngucha.” Lamavi asebenta kahle nasekukhuliseni bantfwana. (Matewu 5:37) Cabangisisa ngembikwekutsi usho loko lolindzele kutsi kwentiwe kantsi ute tinhloso tekukufeza. Nakwenteka ucwayisa umntfwanakho kutsi luhlobo lolutsite lwesijeziso utalutfola nangabe angatiphatsi kahle, ciniseka kutsi uyakwenta loko.

Kukhulumisana kahle kwebatali kubalulekile kuze behlulele ngendlela lengagucuki. Robert utsi: “Nakwenteka bantfwabetfu bangenta ngivume ngentfo letsite umkami labatjele kutsi bangayenti, nangitfola kutsi umkami akakavumi, ngivele ngishintje sincumo sami kuze ngivumelane naye.” Nakwenteka batali bangavumelani ngekutsi simo lesitsite bangasisebenta njani, kuncono bacale bacocisane babodvwana bese bafinyelela sincumo sinye.

KUYALA KUBALULEKILE

Nangabe ulingisa Jehova ngekuba nesiyalo lesinelutsandvo nalesingagucuki, ungaciniseka kutsi imetamo yakho itabasita bantfwana bakho. Sicondziso sakho lesinelutsandvo singase sisite bantfwana bakho kutsi bakhule babe ngulabavutsiwe labangatsenjwa kanye nebantfu labadzala labalinganiselako. Njengobe liBhayibheli lisho: “Khulisa umntfwana ngendlela lekufanele aphile ngayo; kuyakutsi nome asakhulile angesuki kuyo.”—Taga 22:6.