Mbomukonzya Kutondezya Kulumba

BUYUMUYUMU

Majwi aakulumba alayandika kapati kutegwa cikwati cizwidilile. Pele bamalumi abamakaintu banji balaleka kubona bube bubotu bwamweenzinyina calo cipa kuti baleke kwaamba majwi aakulumba. Mubbuku litegwa Emotional Infidelity, sikupa lulayo umwi wakaamba kuti banabukwetene banji ibaunka kuyoobonana anguwe “babikkila buyo maano kapati kuzintu nzyobabona kuti tazicitiki [mucikwati cabo] kwiinda zintu izicitika. Baboola buyo muofesi yangu kutegwa bandaambile zintu nzyobayanda kuti zicince kutali zintu nzyobayanda kuti kaziliko lyoonse. Banabukwetene boonse aaba ncobalubizya ncakuti balaalilwa kutondezya luyando kwiinda mukulumba.”

Ino nywebo angomukwetene limwi inga mwakeeleba buti kakole aaka?

NCOMWEELEDE KUZYIBA

Majwi aakulumba alakonzya kucesya mapenzi aamucikwati. Ciindi mulumi amukaintu nobasolekesya kubona bube bubotu bwaumwi amweenzinyina alimwi akulumba, cikwati cabo cilayuma. Naaba mazwanga aakatazya alakonzya kuceya ciindi umwi aumwi wabanabukwetene nalimvwa kuti ulalumbwa.

Kuli bamakaintu. Bbuku ilyaambwa kale litegwa Emotional Infidelity, lyakaamba kuti: “Bamakaintu banji bajisi cilengwa cakutabikkila maano kubuyumuyumu mbobajisi bamaalumi kutegwa bajane ziyandika zyamikwasyi yabo. Mumasena amwi, buyumuyumu oobu inga kabuliko nomuba mumikwasyi mobabeleka banabukwetene boonse bobilo.

Kuli bamalumi. Kanji-kanji bamaalumi balakuubya-ubya kusolekesya nkwacita mukaintu mukugwasyilizya mukwasyi, kufwumbwa naa nkwiinda mukulembwa mulimo, kulanganya bana, naa kubeleka buyo milimo yaaŋanda. Ba Fiona,a ibakkala mucikwati kwamyezi iibalilwa kuli yotatwe bakaamba kuti: “Toonse tulalubizya, alimwi ndalubizya, ndilimvwa bubi kapati. Aboobo ciindi balumi bangu nobandaambila kuti ndacita kabotu kujatikizya cintu cimwi aŋanda—mbuli milimo yaaŋanda—ndilazyiba kuti bacindiyanda nokuba kuti ndilalubizya. Alimwi ndilimvwa kuti balandigwasyilizya alimwi ndilakkomana kapati!”

Mukwiimpana, ciindi umwi mucikwati nalimvwa kutabikkilwa maano, cilakonzya kusololela kukutasyomeka mucikwati. Mukaintu uutegwa Valerie, wakaamba kuti: “Ikuti ulimvwa kuti ngomukwetene limwi takubikkili maano, ncuuba-uba kukwelelezyegwa kumuntu uukubikkila maano.”

NCOMUKONZYA KUCITA

Amubikkile maano. Nsondo iiboola, amukabikkile maano kubube bubotu mbwatondezya ngomukwetene limwi. Alimwi, amulange zintu nzyacita kutegwa zintu kazyeenda kabotu muŋanda yanu—izintu ambweni nzyomubona kuti takuyandiki kwaamba majwi aakumulumba. Kumamanino aansondo, amukalembe mulongo uutondezya (1) bube mbomukkomanina mbwajisi ngomukwetene limwi alimwi (2) azintu nzyaakacita kugwasya mukwasyi wanu.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Bafilipi 4:8.

Nkaambo nzi ncociyandika kubikkila maano? Mukaintu uutegwa Erika, wakaamba kuti: “Wakkala mucikwati kwamyaka misyoonto buyo, ulakonzya kuleka kumubikkila maano muntu ngomukwetene limwi. Ulaleka kubona zintu zibotu nzyacita akuba acilengwa cakubikkila buyo maano kuzintu nzyataciti.”

Amulibuzye kuti: ‘Sena ndilamulumba ngotukwetene limwi akaambo kakubeleka canguzu nkwacita?’ Mucikozyanyo, ikuti naa mulumaanu ulabamba-bamba zintu aŋanda, sena tamumulumbi akaambo kakuti mulimvwa kuti mukuli wakwe wakulanganya milimo yaaŋanda iili boobo? Ikuti naa muli mulumi, sena mulimvwa kuti kubeleka canguzu nkwacita mukaintu wanu mukulanganya bana tayandiki kulumbwa nkaambo ngomulimo ngwayelede kucita? Amulibikkile mbaakani yakubona alimwi akulumba kuzintu zyoonse—zisyoonto alimwi azipati—nzyacita ngomukwetene limwi zyalo izigwasya mukwasyi wanu.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Baroma 12:10.

Amube acilengwa cakulumba. Bbaibbele talyaambi buyo kuti tweelede kulumba pele akuti: “Amutondezye kuti mulalumba.” (Bakolose 3:15) Aboobo amube acilengwa cakumulumba ngomukwetene limwi. Mulumi uutegwa James wakaamba kuti: “Ciindi mukaintu wangu nandilumba akaambo kazintu nzyondicita, cindipa kubeleka canguzu kutegwa ndibe mulumi uuli kabotu alimwi akuzumanana kubeleka canguzu kutegwa cikwati cizwidilile.”—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Bakolose 4:6.

Bamalumi abamakaintu ibatondezya kulumba kuli umwi amweenzinyina, bayumya cilongwe cabo. Mulumi uutegwa Michael wakaamba kuti: “Ndisyoma kuti zikwati zinji zilakonzya kuzumanana kuti naa umwi aumwi mucikwati wazumanana kubikkila maano kubube mbwakkomanina kuli ngwakwetene limwi. Ciindi nokwabuka mapenzi, inga tiibafwambaana kuyanda kulekana nkaambo lyoonse bali kuyeezyegwa bube bubotu mbobajisi.”