Umo Mungasambizgira Ŵana Ŵinu pa Nkhani za Kugonana

SUZGO

Vyaka vyakumasinda, ŵapapi ŵakaŵanga na mwaŵi ukuru chomene wa kuŵa ŵakwamba kuphalira ŵana ŵawo vya kugonana. Ŵakalongosoleranga ŵana ŵawo nkhani iyi pachokopachoko, kuyana na msinkhu wa mwana kweniso ivyo wakukhumbikwira.

Kweni sono vinthu vili kusintha. Buku linyake (The Lolita Effect) likuti: “Sono ŵana ŵakupulika mauthenga ghakuyowoya vya kugonana ŵachali ŵachoko chomene. Lero nkhani za kugonana zikuzunulika chomene mu mabuku panji mapulogiramu ghakusambizgira ŵana.” Kasi ivyo vikuchitika sono pa nkhani iyi vikuŵawovwira ŵana panji vikuŵapweteka?

IVYO MUKWENERA KUMANYA

Nkhani za kugonana zili palipose. Deborah Roffman, wali kulemba mu buku lake (Talk to Me First) kuti ‘nkhani za kugonana zikuzunulika palipose, kwali mphakuyowoyeskana, kusaska malonda, mu mafilimu, mu mabuku, mu mazgu gha sumu, maseŵero gha pa TV, mu mauthenga, mu vikhwangwani, mu mafoni na makompyuta. Ivi vyachitiska kuti ŵana ŵanandi, nanga ŵangaŵa ŵachoko wuli, ŵawonenge nga kugonana ntchinthu chakuzirwa chomene pa vyose.’

Ŵamalonda nawo ndiwo ŵakunanga chomene vinthu. Ŵanthu awo ŵakusaska malonda ŵakutemwa kuchemelera malaya ghakuti para ŵana ŵavwara ŵawonekenge ŵakukopa. Ntheura ŵana ŵakusambizgika ŵachali ŵachoko chomene kuŵika mtima pa umo ŵakuwonekera. Buku linyake (So Sexy So Soon) likuti: ‘Ŵamalonda ŵakumanya kuti ŵana ŵakukaŵa yayi kukopeka, lekani ŵakusangirapo mwaŵi. Vinthu ivi ŵakuvipanga na chilato chakuti ŵana ŵambe vya kugonana yayi, kweni ŵakukhumba kuti vinthu vyawo vyendenge malonda.’

Kumanya waka nkhwakukwana yayi. Pali mphambano pakati pa kumanya umo galimoto yikwendera na kuŵa dilayivara muwemi. Ntheura pera, pali mphambano pakati pa kumanya vya kugonana na kusankha vinthu mwamahara pa nkhani iyi.

Fundo yikuru: Kuluska kumasinda kose, sono ndipo ntchakukhumbikwa chomene kuti musambizgenge ŵana ŵinu “kuzgoŵezga nkhongono zawo zakamanyiro” mwakuti ŵamanyenge “kupambaniska pakati pa chiwemi na chiheni.”—Ŵahebere 5:14.

IVYO MUNGACHITA

Fwasani nawo. Nanga chingawoneka nga ntchamwikho kuyowoya na ŵana ŵinu vya kugonana, manyani kuti ni udindo winu. Lekani kuwugwentha.—Fundo ya mu Baibolo: Zintharika 22:6.

Yowoyani nawo pachokopachoko. M’malo mwa kumukhalika pasi mwana winu na kuyowoya nayo nyengo yitali vya kugonana, yezgani kuchita ichi para mwafwasa. Mungadumbiranapo para mukutembeya panji mukugwira kantchito kanyake. Kuti mwana winu wafwatuke, mufumbani mafumbo kuti nayo wayowoyengepo. Chiyelezgero, para mwawona vithuzi vinyake vyakusaska malonda, m’malo mwa kufumba kuti, “Kasi ukuvidokera vithuzithuzi vyanthena ivi?” mungafumba kuti, “Ukughanaghana kuti ŵamalonda ŵakuŵikirachi vithuzi vyanthena ivi pakusaska katundu wawo?” Para mwana winu wazgora, mungamufumba kuti, “Kweni iwe ukuti navyo wuli?”—Fundo ya mu Baibolo: Dotoronome 6:6, 7.

Yowoyani kuyana na msinkhu wa mwana. Ŵana awo ŵandambe sukulu mungaŵasambizga mazina gha viŵaro vyakugonanirana, kweniso umo ŵangajivikililira ku ŵanthu ŵaheni. Apo ŵakukura, mungaŵasambizga vinthu vipusuko pa nkhani ya kubabana. Para ŵakuzakafika pa umwali panji unyamata, ŵazamuŵa kuti ŵamanya vinandi vya thupi lawo kweniso pa nkhani za kugonana.

Ŵasambizgani makhaliro ghawemi. Yambani kusambizga mwana winu apo wachali muchoko kuzirwa kwa kuyowoya unenesko, kugomezgeka, na kujichindika. Ntheura para mukukhumba kudumbiskana vya kugonana, mukuŵa na pakwambira. Kweniso yowoyani ivyo imwe mukutemwa na kutinkha. Chiyelezgero, usange imwe mukutinkhana navyo vyakuti ŵanthu ŵagonanenge pambere ŵandatorane, yowoyani. Longosorani chifukwa icho kuchitira nthena nkhuheni na kwakupweteka. Buku linyake likuti: “Ŵana awo ŵakumanya kuti ŵapapi ŵawo ŵakutinkha vyakuti ŵana ŵagonanenge ŵachali ŵachoko, kanandi nawo ŵakukana vyakugonana.”—Beyond the Big Talk.

Longorani mu vyakuchita vinu. Yezgayezgani kuchita vinthu kuyana na ivyo mukusambizga ŵana ŵinu. Chiyelezgero, kasi imwe mukusekelera para munthu wamuyowoyerani milangwe yabweka? mukuvwara mwambura kwenelera? panji mukutinyirana maso na ŵanthu ŵanyake? Para ndivyo mukuchita, mbwenu ivyo mukumusambizga mwana winu viwonekenge vyambura ntchito.—Fundo ya mu Baibolo: Ŵaroma 2:21.

Lekani kulongora nga kuti kugonana nkhuheni. Kugonana ntchawanangwa chakufuma kwa Chiuta. Kweni munthu wakwenera kusangwa na chawanangwa ichi mu nthengwa pera. (Zintharika 5:18, 19) Muphalirani mwana winu kuti para nayo wafikapo wazamusangwa nacho chawanangwa ichi. Wazamudandawurapo yayi nga umo ŵakuchitira awo ŵakugonana pambere ŵandatorane.—1 Timote 1:18, 19.