Iintsapho Ezinomzali Omnye—Umkhwa Owandayo
NGUMBHALELI KAVUKANI! EBRITANI
ITHE TIMES yaseLondon yanikela le ngxelo: “Kukho iintsapho ezinomzali omnye ezininzi eUK kunalo naliphi na ilizwe laseYurophu. Abazali abangenamaqabane omtshato . . . ngoku baziintloko-ntsapho phantse kwintsapho enye kwezintlanu zaseUK ezinabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka eli-18, xa kuthelekiswa nentsapho enye kwezisixhenxe zaseDenmark kunye nenye kwezisibhozo eJamani naseFransi.”
Kubazali abangenamaqabane omtshato abalishumi eBritani, abasithoba kubo ngamabhinqa. Intsapho eqhelekileyo, okanye oko kubizwa ngokuba yintsapho esisiseko, intsapho enotata nomama kunye nabantwana ngoku ibonakala iyenye nje “yeengcamango zentsapho.” Kodwa kutheni lento iintsapho ezinomzali omnye zixhaphake kangaka kunangaphambili?
Uqhawulo-mtshato nokwahlukana ngoonobangela abaphambili. Ngokuphathelele oku iBritani inkqenkqeza kwindawo yesibini emva kweUnited States, apho malunga nesiqingatha sayo yonke imitshato siphelela kuqhawulo-mtshato. Kwakhona, oko abantu bebekulindele emtshatweni kuguqukile. Ngokutsho kukaZelda West-Meads weRelate, umbutho onikela amacebiso ngomtshato, kwiminyaka engama-20 okanye engama-30 eyadlulayo, “indima yendoda nomfazi yayichazwa ngokucace gca. Indoda yayingumondli wentsapho; umfazi enyamekela ikhaya.” Kodwa kuthekani ngeli xesha sikulo? “Imitshato yanamhlanje isenokuba yehlaziyayo neyolisa ngakumbi, kodwa kwakhona isenokuba nzima ngakumbi. Amabhinqa afuna izinto ezingazange zifunwe ngoonina nangooninakhulu emtshatweni. Afuna kulinganwe, afuna isithandwa esilungileyo, umhlobo olungileyo, ukuba kunokwenzeka azifumanele umsebenzi—yaye afuna nabantwana.”
Ukuba neentlobano zesini naye nabani na okubalaseliswa kwezolonwabo kuyayonakalisa intsapho eqhelekileyo. Ulutsha oluye lwaneentlobano zesini luseluncinane gqitha ngeminyaka ludla ngokungayiqondi imiphumo esenokubakho. Umtshato luwujonga njengento ezisa ubunzima, enciphisa inkululeko yalo, eluxanduva olungeyomfuneko ebomini.
Bambi bayazikhethela ukuba ngabazali abangenamaqabane omtshato; abanye baye babangelwa ziimeko. Xa kunyanzelekile ukuba bangabi naqabane lomtshato, abantu abaninzi abatshatileyo abamvuyeli lo zimele-geqe. Abanye babo babonwabile emtshatweni kodwa bafelwa ngamaqabane abo omtshato.
Kwelinye icala, kukho abo bebenemitshato eneengxabano ezoyikekayo. Bafumana isiqabu ngokuzikhulisela abantwana babo. Abaninzi kwaba baye bagqabaza ngolwalamano oluhle abaye baluhlakulela nabantwana babo.
Nangona kukho oonobangela abaninzi bokwanda kweentsapho ezinomzali omnye, xa kufikelelwa kwiimbopheleleko nocelomngeni lokuphila kwemihla ngemihla, kukho izinto ezithile ezixhalabisa abazali abangenamaqabane omtshato. Zintoni ezo? Yaye abazali abangenamaqabane omtshato banokuzisingatha njani iimbopheleleko zabo ngokuphumelelayo?