Iindaba Eziphazamisayo Nabantwana Bakho
“Intombi yam eneminyaka eli-11 ubudala ayikuthandi ukubukela iindaba. Isoloko isiba namaphupha amabi ngenxa yoko ikubonileyo. Ngesinye isihlandlo yabukela enye inkqubo eyayibonisa ngomntu owayenqunyulwa intloko yesalamane sakhe. Ngobo busuku yaphupha nayo inqunyulwa intloko.”—UQuinn.
“Umtshana wam oneminyaka emithandathu ubudala wabukela inkanyamba kwenye indawo ekwilizwe lethu. Kangangeeveki emva koko, wayesoyika. Wayendifowunela, esithi loo nkanyamba yayiza kuza ize imbulale.”—UPaige.
NGABA iindaba ziya boyikisa abantwana bakho? Kwenye ingxelo, bamalunga nama-40 eepesente abazali abathi abantwana babo bebesoyikiswa yinto abaye bayibukela ezindabeni, yaye besoyikela ukuba kwaloo nto iya kwenzeka kubo okanye kubantu ababathandayo.
Ngoba? Esinye isizathu sesokuba abantwana bazijonga iindaba ngendlela eyahlukileyo kubantu abadala. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana abancinane bakholelwa ukuba iintlekele ezivezwa kwitv zizinto ezenzekayo.
Esinye isizathu sesokuba iindaba ekuthethwa ngazo yonke imihla zinokubenza abantwana baphazamiseke. Yinyaniso ukuba siphila “kumaxesha amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo.” (2 Timoti 3:1) Kodwa ukuba baqhubeka bebukela iindaba ezibaphazamisayo, abantwana banokuhlala besoyika. IKaiser Family Foundation ithi, “Abantwana ababukela iindaba kakhulu banokufunda ukwaphula umthetho, yaye banokucinga ukuba ihlabathi liyingozi kunokuba linjalo.”
Yintoni onokuyenza xa abantwana bakho bephazamiseka ngokubukela iindaba? Nanga amanye amacebiso:
Bakhusele.
Abazali banokugqiba ngexesha abantwana babo abanokulichitha bebukele iindaba, kuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yabo, nendlela ezinokubaphazamisa ngayo ngokweemvakalelo. Eneneni, ulwazi lwethu ngeminyaka lunokusenza singakwazi ukuqiniseka enoba abantwana bayazazi iziganeko ezenzekayo. Nabantwana abancinane banokubona okanye beve ngaphezu kokuba wena unjalo. Ngoko ke, ziphawule ngokukhawuleza iimpawu zokoyika okanye ixhala abantwana abanokuba nalo.
Bafundise.
Njengokuba abantwana bakho bekhula, cinga ngokubukela iindaba kunye nabo. Njengoko nibukele, usenokusebenzisa elo thuba ukuze ubafundise. Zama ukuthetha ngezinto ezakhayo—ngokomzekelo, iinzame zokuhlangula amanye amaxhoba kwiintlekele.
Baqinisekise.
Xa kuthethwa ngeendaba eziphazamisayo, buza abantwana bakho ukuze uve ukuba bavakalelwa njani. UMichael ongutata uthi, “Mna nonkosikazi siye sicacisele unyana wethu uNathaniel ngoko aye wakubukela ezindabeni, nezinto ebesinokuzenza ukuze siphephe kwaezo zinto nathi. Ngesinye isihlandlo xa uNathaniel wabona indlu isitsha yada yaba luthuthu, woyikela ukuba indlu esihlala kuyo iza kutsha nayo. Ukuze simthuthuzele, sambonisa zonke izinto ezisezela umsi. Lo nto yamenza waziva enqabisekile.”
Yiba nesimo sengqondo esihle.
Abaphandi bafumanise ukuba abantu baqala bagwebe loo nto ethe qatha ezingqondweni zabo kuqala. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba kutshanje uve ukubiwa kwabantwana, usenokugqiba kwelokuba abantwana bakho basesichengeni. Eneneni, kuhle ukuzazi iingozi. Noko ke, iingcungela zithi amajelo eendaba asenza soyike izinto mhlawumbi ezingasoze zenzeke kuthi.—IMizekiliso 22:3, 13.
Ukuba abazali abanaso isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ngeendaba, basenokuzibaxa izinto. Ngokunjalo nabantwana babo. Ngokomzekelo, ngowama-2005 inkwenkwana eneminyaka eli-11 ubudala yalahleka kwiintaba zaseUtah eUnited States. Yayisoyika abantu ababeyibile kangokuba yazimela kubantu ababezama ukuyihlangula kangangeentsuku ezine. Xa abahlanguli bayifumanayo, yayiphelelwe ngamandla, ingenamanzi emzimbeni. Nangona ukubiwa ngumntu engamaziyo kunokuba yinto engenakwenzeka, ukoyika kwayo kwayenza yazilambisa kunokuba yamkele uncedo.
“Abantwana abaneminyaka emi-3 ukusa kwesi-7 boyikiswa kakhulu ngamabali eentlekele zemvelo, neengozi, ngoxa abantwana abaneminyaka esi-8 ukusa kweli-12 ubudala besoyikiswa ngamabali olwaphulo-mthetho nogonyamelo.”—IKaiser Family Foundation
Yinto esiyifundayo? Qiniseka ukuba wena nabantwana bakho niba nesimo sengqondo esihle ngeendaba. Inyaniso kukuba, iintlekele ezenzekayo zibalulekile kuba azisoloko zisenzeka—nokuba zenzeka qho.
Ulwaphulo mthetho, ugonyamelo, neentlekele zemvelo zizinto eziqhelekileyo ezenzekayo namhlanje. Noko ke, njengokuba sele sibonile imigudu yakho yokukhusela, yokufundisa, yokuqinisekisa nokulungelelana iya kunceda abantwana bakho bahlangabezane nezi ndaba ziphazamisayo.