Zintsapho—Sondelelani Ngaphambi Kokuba Nishiywe Lixesha
“Intsapho ilolona manyano lwabantu lokuqala olwasungulwayo. Ngeendlela ezininzi ilolona lubalulekileyo. Ilolona manyano lusisiseko ebuthweni. Izizukulwana ziphela ziye zahlala zikho okanye zaphelel’ esithubeni, kuxhomekeka ekubeni ubomi bentsapho babomelele okanye babubuthathaka kusini na.”—The World Book Encyclopedia (Uhlelo lowe-1973).
ISISEKO sentsapho sisigqumathelo sokukhusela abantwana. Kwiindawo ezininzi namhlanje, eso sigqumathelo sizele yimingxuma; kwezinye iindawo ezininzi, siye savalwa saza salahlwa kwelokulibala. Isithethe sokuphila njengentsapho ngokufuthi sikhutshelwa ecaleni njengesiphelelwe lixesha. Imiboniso ehlekisayo kamabonwakude ngokufuthi ibonisa oobawo njengezidenge, oomama njengabachubeke ngakumbi, kodwa abona bantu bazi yonk’ into ngabantwana.
Ukunganyaniseki emtshatweni kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Kwamanye amazwe ahambele phambili kwezempucuko, umtshato omnye kwemibini yabantu abatshata okokuqala uphelela kuqhawulo-mtshato. Njengokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lusanda, iintsapho ezinomzali omnye ziyanda. Ayanda amanani ezibini ezihlalisana ngaphandle komtshato. Amafanasini afuna ukusulungekisa ubuhlobo bawo ngezifungo zomtshato. Isini, ngendlela eqhelekileyo nangeendlela ezigqwethekileyo, siyeyona nto ibalaseliswayo kwimifanekiso-bhanyabhanya nakwiivideo. Izikolo zikugqala ukuba nyulu njengento engenakwenzeka yaye zikhupha iicondom ukwenza ukuhenyuza kube yinto ekhuselekileyo—kodwa zitsho phantsi. Izifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini namanani okumitha kwabeshumi elivisayo aye anda gqitha. Iintsana zingamaxhoba—xa zithe zazalwa kwaukuzalwa. Njengokuba siwohloka isithethe sokuhlala njengentsapho, abantwana ngabona balahlekelwa ngokuyintloko.
Kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, uAlexis Carrel owafumana imbasa kaNobel, kwincwadi yakhe ethi Man, the Unknown, walumkisa ngelithi: “Uluntu lwezi mini luye lwenza impazamo enkulu ngokuvumela ukuba isikolo sithabathele indawo ingqeqesho yentsapho ngokupheleleyo. Oomama babathi tya abantwana babo kwisikolo sabantwana abancinane [kutshanje, kwiindawo zokunyamekela abantwana ngethuba lasemini nakwisikolo seentsana] ukuze bona banyamekele imisebenzi yabo, baphumeze amabhongo abo okuzonwabisa, ukuziyolisa kwabo ngokwesini, ukuthanda kwabo ukufunda iincwadi okanye izinto zobugcisa, okanye ukuze nje baye kudlala umdlalo wamakhasi obizwa ngokuba yibridge, baye kubukela imifanekiso-bhanyabhanya, yaye bachithe ixesha labo kwizinto ezingabalulekanga. Ngenxa yoko, babekek’ ityala ngokuphela kwamaqhina entsapho okugcinwa komntwana esondelelene nabantu abakhulu ukuze afunde izinto ezininzi kubo. . . . Ukuze akhule ngokupheleleyo, umntu ngamnye ufuna ithuba elithile lokuba yedwa nengqalelo yeqela elincinane labantu elibunjwa yintsapho.”—Iphepha 176.
Kutshanje, irharha elihlawulwayo uSteve Allen wagqabaza ngentlaselo kamabonwakude entsatsheni, ngokubalaselisa kwakhe intetho engamanyala nokuziphatha okubi ngokwesini. Wathi: “Le meko isikhokelela kanye emgxobhozweni. Intetho kanye abazali abayalela abantwana babo ukuba bangayisebenzisi ngoku iyakhuthazwa kungekuphela ziinkqubo zikamabonwakude ezamkela yonk’ into, kodwa nazezo ngaphambili zazinemigaqo ephakamileyo. Iinkqubo zikamabonwakude ezibonisa abantwana nabanye abasebenzisa intetho engamanyala kuphela zibhenca ukuwohloka kweentsapho zaseMerika.”
Lilifa elinjani uluntu olulushiyela abantwana ngoku? Funda amaphephandaba, bukela umabonwakude, bukela iivideo, vulela iindaba zangokuhlwa, phulaphula umculo ocengcelezwayo, bona imizekelo yabantu abakhulu naphi na kufutshane nawe. Abantwana bangxalwa ngokutya kwengqondo nokungokwemvakalelo okungenasondlo. UMhlekazi uKeith Joseph owayesakuba ngunobhala wezemfundo waseBritani uthi: “Ukuba ufuna ukutshabalalisa ilizwe, yonakalisa indlela esetyenziswa ngayo imali yalo.” Yaye wongezelela ngelithi: “Indlela yokutshabalalisa uluntu kukonakalisa abantwana.” “Ukonakalisa” kuthetha “ukuphelisa isidima okanye ingqibelelo.” Oko kwenziwa ngokugqithiseleyo namhlanje. Kuthethwa gqitha ngobunjubaqa bolutsha; kufanele kuthethwe okungakumbi ngobunjubaqa babantu abakhulu.
Ziya Kubuya Zisikhathaze
UGeneva B. Johnson, umongameli negosa eliyintloko kwiFamily Service America, wathi kwintetho yakhe awayinikela ekuqaleni kwalo nyaka: “Umanyano lwentsapho luyaxengaxenga, mhlawumbi luyabhanga.” Akuba eyichaze le meko ngokuthi “likamva elilusizi labantwana bethu abaninzi,” wandula ke enxubile wanaba esithi: “Ukulungela kwezizwe ukubangela ukuba abaninzi kangaka abangenazindlu, abalambayo, abanyangwa ngendlela ephantsi kwezamayeza, nabantwana abafundiswa ngomgangatho ophantsi balahlelwe kwesinomhlwa kwibutho lezityebi kuza kubuya kusikhathaze.” Sele kubuyile kwasikhathaza. Usenokufunda ngako kumaphephandaba, uve nangako ezindabeni, uze ukubone nakumabonwakude wakho. Nanku umzekelo omncinane:
UJudonne ukhupha umpu aze adubule uJermaine izihlandlo ezithathu esifubeni. UJermaine ufile; ebeneminyala eli-15 ubudala. UJudonne uneminyaka eli-14 ubudala. Bebengumtya nethunga. Bebexambulisana ngentombazana.
Abantu abalikhulu bahlanganisene emngcwabeni kaMichael Hilliard oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala. Wadutyulwa enqentsu njengoko wayesimka emva kokuqhambuka kwengxwabangxwaba kumdlalo webhola yomnyazi.
EBrooklyn, eNew York, abeshumi elivisayo abathathu batshisa isibini esingenakhaya. Xa ukubahlikihla ngealkoholi kungazange kusebenze, bazama ipetrol. Yasebenza.
EFlorida oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala watyhala usana lwafa luqengqeleka ukusuka kwizinyuko ezikumgangatho wesihlanu.
ETexas oneminyaka elishumi ubudala wathabatha umpu waza wadubula iqabane lakhe awayedlala nalo waza wahlohla umzimba walo phantsi kwendlu.
EGeorgia inkwenkwe eneminyaka eli-15 ubudala yahlaba inqununu yayo ngoxa yayisohlwaywa.
KwisiXeko saseNew York, iqela leenjubaqa elikwiminyaka yalo yokugqibela yeshumi elivisayo nelikwiminyaka yalo yokuqala yama-20, lixhobe ngamaphini, imibhobho, amazembe, iimela, nangezenjana lokuxhaxha inyama, “laya kuziyolisa ngokwenza intlondi” kufutshane nendawo ehlala amadoda angenamakhaya, lisenzakalisa abaninzi lishiya omnye limnqumle umqala. Kwakutheni? Omnye umcuphi wacacisa wathi: “Belizonwabisa ngokuhlasela abangenamakhaya.”
EDetroit, eMichigan, inkwenkwe eneminyaka eli-11 ubudala yathelela inkwenkwe eneminyaka eli-15 ubudala ekudlwenguleni intombazana eneminyaka emi-2 ubudala. Kuthiwa ixhoba labo balishiya kwindawo yokulahla inkunkuma.
ECleveland, eOhio, amakhwenkwe amane aneminyaka emithandathu ukuya kwesithoba adlwengula intombazana eneminyaka esithoba ubudala kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi. Egqabaza ngoku, umbhali wemihlathi yephephandaba uBrent Larkin, ebhala kwiPlain Dealer yaseCleveland, wathi: “Oku kuyimbonakaliso yoko kuqhubekayo kweli lizwe, nangendlela umlinganiselo wenkqubo yethu oye waya ngayo emgxobhozweni.”
UGqr. Leslie Fisher, unjingalwazi wenzululwazi ngengqondo weYunivesithi yesiXeko saseCleveland, wambek’ ityala umabonwakude. Wambiza ngokuthi “ngumatshini omkhulu wesini,” yaye “abantwana abaneminyaka esibhozo nesithoba ubudala babukela ezi zinto.” Wakwabek’ ityala abazali ngokuhla komgangatho weentsapho zaseMerika esithi: “Umama notata baxakekiswe gqitha ziingxaki zabo yaye abanaxesha abalichitha nabantwana babo.”
Oko Ukuhlwayelayo, Wovuna Kona
Izinto ezininzi ebuthweni, ingakumbi amajelo eendaba, abonwabisi, namashishini okonwaba—izinto ezenza iingeniso ngokukhuthaza okubi gqitha eluntwini—zikhuthaza isini esigqwethekileyo nogonyamelo nokonakala yaye ngaloo ndlela zifak’ isandla gqitha ekuthobeni umgangatho wabasebatsha nentsapho. Ngoko umgaqo uyasebenza: Hlwayela ukubola, vuna ukubola. Oko ukuhlwayelayo, wovuna kona. Isikhuni sibuya nomkhwezeli—yaye imiphumo iba mibi kakhulu.
Ngaba ibutho labantu livelisa isizukulwana sabantwana abangenasazela? Lo mbuzo waphakanyiswa emva “kondaba-mlonyeni” wokuhlaselwa kwebhinqa elalineminyaka engama-28 ubudala elabethwa laza ladlwengulwa yaye lashiywa kuba kucingwa ukuba lifile liqela leenjubaqa ezigqugqisayo ezikwishumi elivisayo eCentral Park yaseNew York. Abakwantsasana bathi eli qela leenjubaqa “lalixole emphefumlweni yaye lingazisoli” yaye xa labanjwayo “lalonwabile lincokola licula nokucula.” Lanikela izizathu zokubetha lize lidlwengule elo bhinqa lisithi: “Sasizonwabisa,” “Sasinesithukuthezi,” “Yayiyinto yokuhambisa ixesha.” Iphephancwadi iTime lababiza ngokuthi “bangabantu abangenazo iimvakalelo zokomoya” abaye “baphulukana nazo, mhlawumbi abangazange babe nazo kwaukuba nazo ezoo mvakalelo zokomoya esizibiza ngokuba sisazela.”
IU.S.News & World Report yabongoza isithi: “Esi sizwe simele sisebenzele ukuphepha esinye isizukulwana sabantwana abangenasazela.” UGqr. Ken Magid, isazinzulu ngengqondo esaziwayo, noCarole McKelvey babalaselisa loo ngozi kanye kwincwadi yabo ethi High Risk: Children Without a Conscience. Amatyala angokwasembalini nobungqina obuvela kwizazinzulu ngezengqondo nakoogqirha bezigulo zengqondo buyixhasa ngokupheleleyo ingcamango kaMagid yokuba: Unobangela ongundoqo yintsilelo yomanyano olomeleleyo phakathi komzali nomntwana ekuzalweni nakwiminyaka yokuqala elandelayo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, iintsapho zimele zisondelelane ebudeni baloo minyaka yokuqala ngaphambi kokuba zishiywe lixesha!