Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Kukwenza Ntoni “Ukugabadela”?
“Ngaba unganceda ulumkise abantu ngeengozi zokwenza izinto ngendlela egabadeleyo? . . . Zonke ‘izinto ezenziwa ngaphambi kweentlobano zesini’ zimele zithethwe, kuba zizo ezikhokelela kwiintlobano zesini. Umbuzo wam uthi, nguwuphi umda ovumelekileyo?”
OKO kwabuzwa yenye intombazana kwiphephancwadi labakwishumi elivisayo. Kodwa mhlawumbi lo ngumbuzo obukhe wazibuza wona.
Ukuba ungumKristu, uwathabatha nzulu amazwi akweyoku-1 kwabaseTesalonika 4:3-6 athi: “Kuba oku kukuthanda kukaThixo, ukungcwaliswa kwenu, ukuba nikhumke kulo uhenyuzo; . . . ukuba kungabikho ugqithisayo, amlumkise umzalwana wakhe emcimbini lowo; ngenxa enokuba iNkosi ngumphindezeli wazo zonke ezi zinto.”
Ngoko nangona usenokuqonda ukuba ukuba neentlobano zesini kwamaKristu angatshatanga kuphosakele, sekunjalo usenokuba uyazibuza ngendlela uThixo akujonga ngayo ukuncamisana, ukwangana okanye ukuphathaphathana nomntu wesini esahlukileyo.
Ngaba Kuyinxalenye Yokukhula?
Okokuqala, kuhle ukukhumbula ukuba iBhayibhile ayizigwebi iimbonakaliso zothando ezicocekileyo nezifanelekileyo nezingenantsingiselo ingokwesini. AmaKristu amandulo ayelubonakalisa uthando lwawo omnye komnye. Ngokuqhelekileyo ‘ayebulisana ngolwango olungcwele.’ (Roma 16:16; 1 Korinte 16:20) KwanamaKristu esini esifanayo ayedla ngokuncamisana aze awolane.—Thelekisa IZenzo 20:37.
Kwiindawo ezininzi, ukuncamisana nokuwolana kusajongwa njengeendlela ezifanelekileyo zokubonakalisa uthando ngothile. Noko ke, ulutsha oluninzi namhlanje lubonakalisa uthando ngendlela engaphaya koko kufanelekileyo. Kolunye uhlolisiso olwenziwa eUnited States kwafunyaniswa ukuba abantu abangaphezu kwababini kwabathathu kulutsha olukwishumi elivisayo olwabuzwayo lwavuma ukuba lwaluye lwabandakanyeka kuhlobo oluthile lokubambana olwaluquka ukuphululana amalungu afihlakeleyo omzimba. Uninzi lwalo lwaqalisa ukwenza oko kubudala beminyaka eli-14. Njengoko kwafunyaniswa kolunye uhlolisiso, ama-49 ekhulwini abandakanyeka ekuphathaphatheni ukusa kwinqanaba lokuvuseleleka ngokwesini.
Abanye bathethelela ulingelo olunjalo lwesini ngokuthi luyinxalenye nje yokukhula. Ngokutsho kwencwadi ethi The Family Handbook of Adolescence, “ukudlala ngesini nokwenza ulingelo phantse kuqhelekile kulo lonke ulutsha olufikisayo nolusempilweni.” Abanye abantu bade bakuncomele ukuphathaphathana. Incwadi ethi Growing Into Love, nguKathryn Burkhart, ithi: “Ngenxa yokuba phantse nje kube kuyafana nokuba neentlobano zesini, inkoliso yeendlela zokuphathaphathana inokwenziwa ngaphandle kwexhala ibe kusebenza njengendlela emangalisayo yokwahlukana nomnqweno ongamandla weentlobano zesini.”
Noko ke, umbuzo ophakamayo ngulo, Usijonga njani uThixo isenzo esinjalo?
Kunokukhokelela Entwenini Ukuncamisana?
Xa ‘usentlahleni,’ umnqweno weentlobano zesini ubakho ngamandla. (1 Korinte 7:36) Ngoko ke, kuyinto engokwemvelo ukufun’ ukwazi indlela ubani avakalelwa ngayo xa encamisa okanye ebamba ubani wesini esahlukileyo. Kodwa iThe Family Handbook of Adolescence ithi: “Amandla esini andulela, maxa wambi ngeminyaka emininzi, ukukhula ngokweemvakalelo.” Eneneni, ulutsha oluninzi alukuqondi ncam ukuba ukuncamisa okanye ukuphulula kunamandla okuvuselela iimvakalelo ezingamandla zothando okanye iinkanuko zesini.
Ngoko ke, umele uqwalasele ngobulumko imiphumo yokubandakanyeka kwihambo enokuvuselela iinkanuko zesini. Kuthekani ukuba umncinane gqitha ukuba ungatshata? Ngoko kutheni uncamisa okanye usenza nayiphi na into ngendlela eya kukubangela uvuseleleke ngokwesini? Oko kuya kukuzisela kuphela unxunguphalo. Oku kungenxa yokuba akukho ndlela yokuba wena njengomKristu wokwenyaniso ungaziqhubela ezo mvakalelo zothando kwinjongo yazo—iintlobano zesini. IBhayibhile ikwenza kucace ukuba iintlobano ezinjalo zivumeleke kuphela emtshatweni.—1 Korinte 6:18.
Kwakhona, cinga ngaloo mntu usenokuvuseleleka ngenxa yesenzo sakho sothando esivuselelayo. Ngaba asikokuzikhohlisa, de kube yinkohlakalo, ukuncamisa okanye ukuphathaphatha ubani ongakulungelanga ukumtshata okanye ongacingi ngokunzulu ngokumenza iqabane lomtshato? (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 26:18, 19.) IBhayibhile iyalumkisa: “Isijorha [“umntu okhohlakeleyo,” NW] siyihlisele ishwangusha inyama yaso.”—IMizekeliso 11:17.
Asifanele sifihlwe kumfundi weBhayibhile isibakala sokuba ukuphathaphatha okanye ukuncamisana kunokuvuselela inkanuko engamandla yesini. IBhayibhile isibalisela ngokuhendwa kwegatyana elithile lomfana lihenyukazi. Ithi: “Wambamba waza ke, wamncamisa.” (IMizekeliso 7:13, NW) Ukuncamisa okanye ukubamba okunjalo kunokuvuselela iimvakalelo ezinzulu. Njengoko izenzo zokubonisa uthando ziqhubela phambili inkwenkwe okanye intombi ivuseleleka ngakumbi. Ngeliphandle, umzimba ulungela iintlobano zesini.
Ukuba isibini sitshatile, sinokuzanelisa iimvakalelo zaso ngendlela eyolisayo nendilisekileyo. Kodwa xa isibini esingatshatanga sibandakanyeka kwimidlalo evuselela inkanuko yesini, ngokuqinisekileyo oko kuya kuphumela kwiingxaki. Kolunye uhlolisiso, umbhali uNancy Van Pelt wafumanisa ukuba inkoliso yolutsha oluye lwabandakanyeka ekuphathaphatheni lwavuma ngokuphandle ukuba ngokulula nje, njengoko lusitsho, “lwaphulukana nokuzibamba.” Umzekelo woku ngowentombazana eselula eyanyanzelelwa ekubeni yenze okungaphaya kweyayiqhele ukukwenza ngaphambili. Nakubeni ingazange ide ibandakanyeke kwiintlobano zesini, yayivumela inkwenkwe ukuba iyiphathaphathe ngendlela evuselelayo. Ithi: “Ngoku ndiziva ndingcolile.” Ngaba oko eyakuvumela ukuba kwenziwe yiloo nkwenkwe kwakuphosakele ngokwenene?
Kukuthini “Ukugabadela”?
Olunye ulutsha lukholelwa ekubeni lo gama nje lungabandakanyeki kwiintlobano zesini, alukagabadeli, luthi oko lukwenzayo akuphosakalanga ngokwenene. IBhayibhile ibonisa ngokwahlukileyo koko. KumaGalati 5:19-21, (NW) umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Imisebenzi yenyama iyabonakala yile, uhenyuzo, ukungcola ukuziphatha kakubi . . . abazenzayo izinto ezinjalo abayi kubudla ilifa ubukumkani bukaThixo.”
Luyintoni uhenyuzo? Igama lantlandlolo lesiGrike elithetha uhenyuzo lelithi por·neiʹa. Eli gama libhekisela kwisenzo sesini esiquka ukusetyenziswa kwamalungu esini esenziwa ngaphandle kwamaqhina omtshato. Enye intombazana ekucatshulwe amazwi ayo kwiphephancwadi iSeventeen yavumela inkwenkwe ethandana nayo iyinyanzelele ekwenzeni iintlobano zesini zasemlonyeni. Yathi: “Ndiziva ndisisidenge ngokwenene, kuba bonke abahlobo bam besithi bayakwenza oku namakhwenkwe abathandana nawo ibe ndiya kuphulukana nayo ukuba nam andikwenzi.” Uphando lubonisa ukuba inani elothusayo lolutsha luye lwabandakanyeka kolu hlobo lokuziphatha okubi. Sekunjalo, izenzo ezinjalo zikhuthaza ipor·neiʹa ibe azamkelekanga kuThixo.
Umpostile uPawulos wakwanxulumanisa uhenyuzo “nokungcola.” Igama lantlandlolo lesiGrike elithi a·ka·thar·siʹa, liquka ukungacoceki kwalo naluphi na uhlobo, lokuthetha okanye lesenzo. Ngokuqinisekileyo iya kuba kukungacoceki ukuvumela isandla sikabani sizulazule phantsi kwempahla yomnye umntu, simkhulule impahla, okanye siphulule iindawo ezifihlakeleyo zikabani, ezifana namabele. Kakade ke, eBhayibhileni ukuphululwa kwamabele kunxulunyaniswa noyolo olubekelwe izibini ezitshatileyo.—IMizekeliso 5:18, 19; thelekisa uHoseya 2:2.
Noko ke, olunye ulutsha luyityeshela ngokuphandle le milinganiselo yobuthixo. Lwenza izinto ngendlela egabadeleyo ngabom, okanye ngokubawa luzifunela amaqabane amaninzi oluya kwenza kuwo oku kungcola okungokwesini. Ngaloo ndlela lunetyala loko umpostile uPawulos athi “kukuziphatha kakubi.”
Incwadi ezahlukahlukeneyo zibonisa ukuba igama lesiGrike lantlandlolo elithi “ukuziphatha kakubi” (a·selʹgei·a) lithetha ‘izenzo ezibaxiweyo, ukugqithisa, ukusa, inkanuko engalawulekiyo nokuzibaxa izinto.’ Ulutsha oluziphethe kakubi lufana nabahedeni uPawulos awabhekisela kubo. Ngenxa ‘yamampunge engqiqo yazo, bathi bengasaziva, bazinikela eburheletyweni [ekuziphatheni kakubi, NW] ukuze basebenze ukungcola konke, bebawa.’ (Efese 4:17-19) Ngokuqinisekileyo ubuya kufuna ukusiphepha isohlwayo esinjalo!
Ngoko ke, siqonde isibakala sokuba ubani akufuneki ade abandakanyeke kwisenzo seentlobano zesini ukuze abe “ugabadele” ngokwembono kaYehova. Ukuba uselula gqitha ukuba ungatshata, awumele ubandakanyeke ekuphathaphatheni okanye ekuncamisaneni okuvuselelayo. Ibe abo benza amadinga ngaphambi komtshato bamele balumkele ukuba iindlela zabo zokubonakalisa uthando zingabi zezingcolileyo. Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukubambelela kwimilinganiselo yobuthixo akunto ilula. Kodwa uThixo uthi kuIsaya 48:17: “Mna Yehova, Thixo wakho, ndingokufundisa okungakuncedayo, ndikunyathelise ngendlela oya kuhamba ngayo.”—Bona kwanamaGalati 5:16.
[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 19]
Ukuba akutshatanga, ukubandakanyeka kwisenzo esivuselela inkanuko kunokukhokelela kukatyo nokubi ngakumbi