Ikhaya Elinolonwabo—Apho Abantu Ababini Bemanyene

UKUBA ubuza kwakha ikhaya elomeleleyo, elinqabisekileyo, elitofo-tofo, ubuya kusebenzisa ziphi izixhobo zokwakha? Umthi? Isitena? Ilitye? Naku okunconyelwa yincwadi yeBhayibhile yeMizekeliso: “Indlu yona yakhiwa ngobulumko; izinziswe ngengqondo; ngokwazi kuzaliswa amaqonga bubuncwane bonke obunqabileyo nobumnandi.” (IMizekeliso 24:3, 4) Ewe, kufuneka ubulumko, ukuqonda nokwazi ukuze kwakhiwe ikhaya elinolonwabo.

Ngubani olakhayo? “Ubulumko bomfazi buyayakha indlu yakhe; ukumatha kuyayichitha ngezakhe izandla.” (IMizekeliso 14:1) Oku kuyinyaniso nangendoda esisilumko eqinisekisayo ukuba yenza umtshato wayo womelele uze wonwabise okanye ube buthathaka uze unxunguphalise. Ngabaphi oothunywashe abanokuba luncedo? Hayi indlela ekubangel’ umdla ngayo ukuba amacebiso abacebisi abathile ngeengxaki zomtshato banamhlanje asondele kangaka kubulumko beLizwi likaThixo obungaphelelwa xesha, elabhalwa kwiminyaka engamawaka eyadlulayo.

Ukuphulaphula: “Eneneni ukuphulaphula kuyenye yezona ndlela zibalaseleyo zokuhlonela omnye umntu yaye kubalulekile ekwakheni nasekulondolozeni ulwalamano olusenyongweni,” itsho njalo enye incwadi yomtshato. IMizekeliso ithi: “Intliziyo [“indlebe,” NW] yonengqondo irhweba ukwazi.” (IMizekeliso 18:15) Ekubeni iindlebe eziphulaphuleyo zingabonakali njengamehlo avuliweyo okanye njengomlomo ovuliweyo, ungalibonisa njani iqabane lakho ukuba ngenene uphulaphule? Enye indlela kungokuphulaphula ngenyameko.—Bona ibhokisi ngezantsi.

Ukuthetha ngokuphandle nokusondelelana: Incwadi ethi One to One—Understanding Personal Relationships ithi: “Isithethe sethu asivumelani nokuthetha ngokuphandle. Sifundiswa sisebancinane ukuba sizixakekise ngemicimbi yethu yobuqu—singaxeleli mntu ngemicimbi yemali, iingcamango, iimvakalelo, . . . nantoni na eyeyobuqu. Le mfundiso ayilibaleki nje ngokulula, kwanaxa ‘sithandana nothile.’ Ngaphandle kokuba kwenziwe umgudu oqhubekayo wokuthetha ngokuphandle, ukusondelelana akusokuze kubekho.” “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya,” itsho njalo IMizekeliso, “ubulumko bunabavuma ukucetyiswa.”—IMizekeliso 13:10; 15:22.

Ukunyaniseka nokuthembana: Indoda nomfazi benza isifungo sokunyaniseka phambi kukaThixo. Xa amaqabane omtshato ethemba ukuba ngamnye uzibophelele ngokunyaniseka komnye, uthando aluphazanyiswa kukukrokrelana, likratshi, ngumoya wokhuphiswano, nokuxakeka ngokufumana oko ubani avakalelwa kukuba ufanele akufumane.

Ukwabelana: Ulwalamano lukhuliswa kukwabelana. Ekuhambeni kwexesha isibini sinokuzenzela imbali exabisekileyo eya kulondolozwa ngabo bobabini. Asiyi kukucinga nokukucinga ukukrazula kubini olo lwalamano lobuhlobo. “Kukho sithandwa sinamathelayo kunomzalwana.”—IMizekeliso 18:24.

Ububele nemfesane: Izenzo zobubele zinciphisa usukuzwano lobomi zize zithothise ikratshi. Izenzo zobubele, ukuba zezokwemvelo, zihlala zingonakali kwanokuba uyacaphuka xa kukho ukungavisisani, ngaloo ndlela zinciphisa umonakalo. Imfesane ibangela umoya wobuhlobo apho kunokukhula uthando. Nangona indoda ngokukodwa isenokuba nobunzima ekubonakaliseni ububele, iBhayibhile ithi: “Umnqweno womntu yinceba yakhe.” (IMizekeliso 19:22) Umfazi olungileyo, “umyalelo wenceba uselulwimini lwakhe.”—IMizekeliso 31:26.

Ukuthobeka: Ekubeni kuliyeza lokukhupha ityhefu yekratshi, ukuthobeka kushukumisela ubani ukuba akulungele ukucela uxolo nokubulela ngamaxesha onke. Kuthekani ukuba umsulwa ngokwenene kwityala obekwa lona? Kutheni ngokuzola ungathi, “Ndicela uxolo kuba ukhathazekile”? Bonakalisa inkxalabo ngokuphazamiseka kweqabane lakho, nize kunye nibone indlela enisilungisa ngayo eso siphoso. “Kuluzuko endodeni ukuhlalela kude nengxabano.”—IMizekeliso 20:3.

Intlonelo: “Igama eliyintloko ekuqondeni ukungavisisani phakathi kwenu nasekukucombululeni kwenu kunye yintlonelo. Into ebalulekileyo kwelinye iqabane isenokungabaluleki ngendlela efanayo kwelinye. Sekunjalo, qabane ngalinye linokuzihlonela iimbono zelinye ngamaxesha onke.” (Keeping Your Family Together When the World Is Falling Apart) “Ngokukhukhumala kuvuka ukulwa kuphela; ubulumko bunabavuma ukucetyiswa.”—IMizekeliso 13:10.

Uburharha: Elona lifu limnyama lamanqam lisenokupheliswa ngokuhleka kunye kakhulu. Bunkcenkceza ngaphaya komanyano lothando buze budambise ukuxinezeleka ngokufuthi okudodobalisa ukucinga kakuhle. “Intliziyo evuyileyo iyabuchwayithisa ubuso.”—IMizekeliso 15:13.

Ukupha: Phanda izinto onokuzixabisa ngeqabane lakho uze ulincome ngobubele. Ezi zinto zinqwenelekayo zisenokubangela intliziyo ivuye ngakumbi kunokufumana iqhina lesilika okanye iintyatyambo. Kakade ke, nisenako ukuthengelana okanye nenzelane izinto ezintle. Kodwa incwadi ethi Lifeskills for Adult Children, ithi, “ezona zipho zikhulu onokuphisa ngazo asizozinto ziphathekayo. Kukubonakalisa kwakho uthando noxabiso, ukhuthazo noncedo lwakho.” “Ziilamuni zegolide kwizitya zesilivere ezimakhazikhazi ilizwi elithethwe latyapha.”—IMizekeliso 25:11.

Ukuba ezi mpawu zinokuthelekiswa nezinto zokwakha ulwalamano lomtshato, ngoko unxibelelwano luludaka olufunekayo lokuzidibanisa kunye. Ngoko, zinokwenza ntoni izibini xa kubakho ukungavisisani? Incwadi ethi Getting the Love You Want ithi: “Kunokubona iimbono ezahlukileyo zeqabane lakho njengomthombo wengxabano, . . . zifumanise zingumthombo wolwazi. . . . Iinkcukacha zobomi bemihla ngemihla ziba nguvimba otyebileyo wenkcazelo.”

Ngoko, jonga sihlandlo ngasinye sokungavisisani njengethuba elixabisekileyo lokuqonda lowo umthandayo kungekhona njengethuba lokulwa. Nobabini yamkelani ucelomngeni lokucombulula ukungavisisani nize nibe noxolo nemvisiswano, ngaloo ndlela niqinisa umanyano, nisomeleza uthando olunenza nibe ngumntu omnye.

UYehova uThixo ubona kuyinto entle kakhulu ukusebenzisana yaye ukwenze kwakho kwindalo yakhe—kumjikelo weoksijini wezityalo nezilwanyana wokuyikhupha nokuyisezela, imijikelo yezinto ezisesibhakabhakeni, ulwalamano lokuphila ngemvisiswano phakathi kwezinambuzane neentyatyambo. Ngoko, nakumanyano lomtshato, kusenokubakho umjikelo ofudumeleyo apho indoda, ngamazwi nangezenzo, iqinisekisa umfazi wayo ngothando lwayo nangokumthemba, umfazi onothando elandela ukhokelo lwayo ngokwaneliseka. Ngaloo ndlela, ababini ngokwenene baba ngumntu omnye, nto leyo ezisa uvuyo kubo nakumSunguli womtshato, uYehova uThixo.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 27]

“Nikelani Ingqalelo Kwindlela Eniphulaphula Ngayo.”—Luka 8:18, NW

Ukuphulaphula ngenyameko kuyindlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba lowo uthethayo nalowo uphulaphuleyo ngokwenene bayaqondana. Ngamanye amaxesha kuthiwa kukubonisa ukuba uyeva, ekubeni umphulaphuli ezama ukubonisa indlela aweva ngayo amazwi nentsingiselo ayiqondayo. La ngamanyathelo asisiseko:

1. Nikela ingqalelo ngenyameko; phulaphula isigidimi esibalulekileyo.

2. Phulaphula iimvakalelo ezikuloo mazwi.

3. Kuphinde kulowo uthethayo oko ukuvayo. Musa ukugweba, ugxeke, okanye wenze impikiswano. Yazisa nje lo mntu ukuba usifumene ngokuchanileyo isigidimi. Ziqonde iimvakalelo.

4. Mhlawumbi lowo uthethayo uya kuvuma okanye alungise oko ukuthethayo yaye mhlawumbi awunabise ngakumbi umbandela.

5. Ukuba uqonde ngendlela engachananga, phinda uzame.

Ukuphulaphula ngenyameko kuphumelela ngokukodwa ekunciphiseni ukugxeka. Samkele isibakala sokuba ukugxeka ngokufuthi kusekelwe kokuthile okuyinyaniso. Kusenokunikelwa ngendlela ekhathazayo, kodwa kunokuthi ngokuzithethelela uphosele intlungu kumgxeki, kutheni ungaphulaphuli ngenyameko ukuze uthomalalise imeko? Vuma ukuba uyakuqonda nakuphi na ukukhathazeka osenokuba ubekek’ ityala ngako, uze ubone indlela umcimbi onokulungiswa ngayo.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 28]

“Ukuba Ubani Uthi Abe Nokusola Ngakubani.”—Kolose 3:13

Xa unesikhalazo, ungasichaza njani ngaphandle kokuqhwaya imfazwe? Okokuqala, lincome iqabane lakho ngokuba neenjongo ezintle. Usenokuvakalelwa kukuba belingenalwazelelelo, lingakucingeli, lingakhathali, lingenabulumko—kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba belingacebanga kukwenzakalisa. Ngokuzolileyo chaza iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokutyhola: “Xa ubusenza oku, mna ndivakalelwe . . .” Akukho nto iphembelela ingxabano apha. Ngokulula ichaza indlela ovakalelwa ngayo yaye ayilibek’ ityala iqabane lakho. Ekubeni loo mntu ebesenokuba akakhange acebe ukukukhathaza konke konke, usenokuphika okanye azithethelele. Noko ke, nikela ingqalelo kwingxaki uze ukulungele ukucebisa indlela enokuconjululwa ngayo.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Eneneni ukuphulaphula kuyenye yezona ndlela zibalaseleyo zokuhlonela omnye umntu