Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ngaba Ukuzibulala Kusisicombululo?
“Ndikruqukile kukuvuka ntsasa nganye. Ndikruqukile. Ndinomsindo. Intliziyo yam ibuhlungu. . . . Ngoko ndicinga ngokulishiya eli. . . . Andifuni kulishiya eli, kodwa ndivakalelwa kukuba ndinyanzelekile. . . . Xa ndijonga ikamva, ndibona ubumnyama nentlungu.”—Ileta eyashiywa nguPeter oneminyaka engama-21 ubudala owazibulalayo.a
IINGCALI zithi abantu abaselula abazizigidi ezibini eUnited States baye bazama ukuzibulala. Okulusizi kukuba abamalunga nama-5 000 ngonyaka bayazibulala. Kodwa ukuzibulala kwabaselula kuqhelekile eUnited States. Ebudeni bowe-1990 eIndiya ulutsha olumalunga nama-30 000 lwazibulala. Kumazwe anjengaseFinland, eFransi, eKhanada, eNetherlands, eNew Zealand, kwaSirayeli, eSpeyini, eSwitzerland naseThailand, amanani abantu abaselula abazibulalayo ande gqitha.
Kuthekani ukuba ubani uziva ecinezelwe yintlungu—okanye uziva edandathekile yaye akayiboni indlela anokuphuma ngayo koko? Ukuzibulala kusenokubonakala kusisicombululo, kodwa ngokwenene akuloncedo kwaphela. Imiphumo yako ishiya abahlobo nentsapho benxunguphele yaye bebuhlungu. Nokuba lingabonakala limfiliba kangakanani na ikamva yaye nokuba zingabonakala zisoyikeka kangakanani na iingxaki, ukuzibulala akusiso isicombululo.
Isizathu Sokuba Abanye Bavakalelwe Ngale Ndlela
Indoda elilungisa uYobhi yayikwazi into ekuyiyo ukuphelelwa lithemba. Iphulukene nentsapho yayo, izinto zayo nempilo yayo entle, yathi: “Umphefumlo wam wanyula ukukrwitshwa; wanyula ukufa ngaphezu kwamathambo la.” (Yobhi 7:15) Bambi abantu abaselula namhlanje baye bavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo. Omnye umbhali ukubeka ngolu hlobo oku: “Uxinezeleko . . . lukhokelela kwintlungu (ukukhathazeka nokoyika) [ethi] ikhokelele ekuzikhuseleni (amalinge okuphepha intlungu).” Ngoko ukuzibulala lilinge eliphosakeleyo lokuphepha intlungu ebonakala inganyamezeleki.
Yintoni ebangela le ntlungu? Isenokubangelwa sisiganeko, njengokuxabana nabazali bakabani, inkwenkwe okanye intombi athandana nayo. Emva kokwahlukana nentombi awayethandana nayo, uBrad oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala waphelelwa lithemba. Noko ke, akazange athethe ngendlela avakalelwa ngayo. Wasuka wazibulala ngokuzixhoma.
USunita oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala wadandatheka xa abazali bakhe bafumanisa ukuba wayeziphethe kakubi nenkwenkwe awayethandana nayo. Ukhumbula oku, “Ndandisazi ukuba ndandingafuni kuphila ngendlela endandiphila ngayo. Ibe ngobunye ubusuku ndafika ekhaya, ndazingxala ngeepilisi zeentlungu. Ngentsasa elandelayo ndandigabh’ igazi. Ndandingafuni kucima ubomi bam kodwa ndandifuna ukucima ikhondo lobomi.”
Kwakhona isikolo sinokuba ngumthombo wengcinezelo ekrakra. Kuba wayenyanzelwa ngabazali bakhe (abangoogqirha nabo) ukuba abe ngugqirha, uAshish oselula waba nesigulo sokuphelelwa bubuthongo waza waqalisa ukuzenza ikheswa. Kuba engakwazi ukufikelela imfundo eyayifunwa ngabazali bakhe, uAshish watya ngokugqithiseleyo iipilisi zobuthongo. Oku kusikhumbuza iMizekeliso 15:13 eBhayibhileni ethi: “Ekubulalekeni kwentliziyo umoya uthi dakumba.”
Ukubandezeleka Kwentsapho
Amanzithinzithi entsapho—njengokuqhawula umtshato okanye ukwahlukana kwabazali, ukufa kwelungu lentsapho, okanye ukufudukela kwindawo entsha—zezinye zezinto ezibangela abanye abaselula bazibulale. Ngokomzekelo uBrad, okhankanywe ngasentla, waphulukana nabahlobo bakhe abasenyongweni ababini nesalamane kwingozi yenqwelo-mafutha. Yaza intsapho yakowabo yaqalisa ukuba neengxaki zemali. UBrad wayecinezelekile. Usenokuba wavakalelwa njengomdumisi owakhala wathi: “Umphefumlo wam uhluthi zizinto ezimbi, . . . Zindizungulezile kwaphela.”—INdumiso 88:3, 17.
Kukho amanani othusayo olutsha oluthwaxwa lolunye uhlobo loxinezeleko: ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwesini. Ilizwana laseKerala, eIndiya, linelinye lawona manani aphakamileyo olutsha oluzibulalayo kwelo lizwe. Amantombazana amaninzi akwishumi elivisayo aye azama ukuzibulala ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa ngokwesini ngooyise. Ehlabathini lonke zonke iintlobo zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana zande ngomlinganiselo ophakamileyo, ibe kumaxhoba azo amsulwa, ukubandezeleka kunokuba qatha.
Abanye Oonobangela Bokubandezeleka
Kodwa asizizo zonke iimvakalelo zokuzibulala ezibangelwa ngabanye abantu. Enye ingxelo yophando olwenziwa kwabakwishumi elivisayo abangatshatanga ithi: “Amakhwenkwe namantombazana awakhe aba neentlobano zesini aza asebenzisa utywala ngawona ayesemngciphekweni [wokuzibulala] kunalawo abengazisebenzisi ezi zinto.” Ukuziphatha okuvakalala kukaSunita kwambangela wakhulelwa—awakuphelisa ngokuqhomfa. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 6:18.) Kuba wayekhathazwa kukuziva enetyala, wayefuna ukufa. Ngokufanayo, uBrad ubesebenzisa utywala ukususela kwiminyaka eli-14 ubudala, wayengaphoswa yindawo enentselo. Ewe, xa busetyenziswa kakubi, utywala ‘bunokuluma njengenyoka.’—IMizekeliso 23:32.
Iimvakalelo zokuzibulala zinokuvela ‘nakwiingcinga eziphazamisayo’ zikabani. (INdumiso 94:19, NW) Oogqirha bathi ukucinga okudandathekisayo maxa wambi kunokubangela imiphumo eyahlukeneyo engokwebhayoloji. Ngokomzekelo, uPeter, okhankanywe ekuqaleni, ngaphambi kokuba azibulale wayexilongiwe kwaza kwafunyanwa ukuba imichiza ayilungelelananga kakuhle engqondweni yakhe. Iimvakalelo zodandatheko ezibethwa ngoyaba zinokwendela; ukuzibulala kunokuqala kubonakale njengento ekunokubhenelwa kuyo.
Ukufumana Uncedo
Noko ke, ukuzibulala akufanele kujongwe njengento ekunokubhenelwa kuyo. Enoba siyakuqonda oko okanye akunjalo, sonke sinoko iingcali zamayeza uAlan L. Berman noDavid A. Jobes zikubiza ngokuthi ‘kukuzinceda nokuncedwa ngabanye ukuze uhlangabezane ngokuphumelelayo noxinezeleko nokuphazamiseka.’ Abanye abasenokukunceda yintsapho nabahlobo. IMizekeliso 12:25 ithi: “Isithukuthezi esisentliziyweni yendoda siyenza igobe; liyayivuyisa ilizwi elihle.” Ewe, ilizwi elihle elivela kumntu oqondayo lisenokuyiguqula loo meko!
Ngoko ukuba nabani na uziva edandathekile okanye enexhala, kucebiseka ukuba angakuyeki oko kumtye eyedwa. (IMizekeliso 18:1) Lowo ubandezelekileyo unokuzityand’ igila kumntu amthembileyo. Ukuthetha nomnye umntu kuluncedo ekunciphiseni ubuqatha bendlela ubani avakalelwa ngayo, ibe kusenokukwenza uyijonge ngenye indlela loo ngxaki. Ukuba ubani ukhathazwe kukufelwa ngumhlobo okanye umntu amthandayo, lowo ufanele athethe ngako oko nomntu amthembileyo. Xa intlungu yoko kulahlekelwa iqondwa yaye kuvelwana naye, loo mntu uyathuthuzeleka. (INtshumayeli 7:1-3) Kusenokuba luncedo ngobani lowo ukuthembisa ukudibana nomntu amthembileyo xa ephinda eziva efuna ukuzibulala.
Liyinyaniso elokuba kusenokuba nzima ukuthemba umntu. Ekubeni ke ngoku ubomi busesichengeni, ngaba akufanele uzame kona? Mhlawumbi imvakalelo yokuzenzakalisa iya kuphela ukuba izinto ziyathethwa. ‘Nabani’? abanye basenokubuza. Ukuba abazali bakabani bahlonel’ uThixo, kutheni ungazami ‘ukunika abazali bakho intliziyo yakho’? (IMizekeliso 23:26) Basenokuyiqonda bhetele imibandela kunokuba abanye becinga yaye basenokukwazi ukunceda. Ukuba kubonakala kufuneka uncedo olongezelelekileyo—njengokuxilongwa ngugqirha—basenokukulungiselela.
Amalungu ebandla lamaKristu ayeminye imithombo yoncedo. Amadoda amakhulu okomoya ebandleni anokubaxhasa aze abancede ababandezelekileyo. (Isaya 32:1, 2; Yakobi 5:14, 15) Emva kwelinge lakhe lokuzibulala, uSunita wancedwa ngumhambisi wevangeli wexesha elizeleyo (uvulindlela). USunita uthi: “Wayeyintonga yam esekhosi. Ukuba wayengekho, ngendaphambanayo.”
Ukuhlangabezana Nayo
Kwakhona zikho nezinye iindlela onokuzinceda ngazo. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba ubandezeleke ngenxa yokuziva unetyala ngenxa yesenzo esithile esiphosakeleyo? (Thelekisa INdumiso 31:10.) Kunokuvumela ezo mvakalelo zakhele, ubani ufanele azame ukubonisana nabanye. (Isaya 1:18; thelekisa eyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 7:11.) Elinye inyathelo elingqalileyo beliya kuba kukuchazela abazali bakabani. Kuyavunywa ukuba basenokucaphuka ekuqaleni. Kodwa baya kucinga ngokukunceda. Kwakhona siyaqinisekiswa ukuba uYehova ubaxolela ‘ngokukhulu’ abo baguqukayo ngokwenene. (Isaya 55:7) Idini lentlawulelo likaYesu liyasigubungela isono somntu oguqukayo.—Roma 3:23, 24.
Kwakhona amaKristu anokholo, ulwazi ngeZibhalo nolwalamano noYehova uThixo anokuncedakala kulo. Kwizihlandlo ezahlukeneyo umdumisi uDavide wabandezeleka kangangokuba wathi: “Utshaba . . . libutyumzele emhlabeni ubomi bam.” Akazange anikezele ekuphelelweni lithemba. Wabhala: “Ndikhala kuYehova ngezwi lam, ndikhunga uYehova ngezwi lam.” “Ndicamngca ngemisebenzi yakho yonke, ndicamngca ngesenzo sezandla zakho.”—INdumiso 142:1; 143:3-5.
Ukuba imvakalelo kabani yokufuna ukuzibulala iba namandla, ufanele athandaze kuYehova. Uyayiqonda intlungu yalowo ubandezelekileyo ibe ufuna aphile! (INdumiso 56:8) Unokumnika “incamisa yamandla” ukuze imncede ahlangabezane nentlungu. (2 Korinte 4:7) Kwakhona ubani ufanele acinge ngentlungu ukuzibulala okuya kuyizisa kwintsapho yakhe, kubahlobo nakuYehova. Ukucinga ngezo zinto kunokumnceda umntu ahlale ephila.
Nangona kwabanye kusenokubonakala ukuba intlungu ayinakuze iphele, basenokuqinisekiswa ukuba bakho abo baye baphila benentlungu efanayo. Bayakwazi ukubalisa ngokusuka kumava ukuba izinto zinako ukuguquka ibe ziyaguquka. Abanye basenokuba luncedo ekuhlangabezaneni nelo xesha libuhlungu. Abadandathekileyo bafanele bafune uncedo abalufunayo—baze bahlale bephila!
[Umbhalo osemazantsi]
a Wambi amagama aguquliwe.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]
Kulunge ngakumbi ukuthetha nomnye umntu xa ukhathazekile