Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ukuhlaselwa Ngokwesini—Ndinokuzikhusela Njani?
UANITA uneminyaka eli-16 ubudala udlamkile kwaye usoloko encumile. Noko ke, ufing’ iintshiyi xa echaza iziganeko zakutshanje esikolweni afunda kuso. Ukhumbula oku: “Inkwenkwe eyaziwa kakhulu yandivingcela kwipaseji emxinwa yaza yaqalisa ukundibamba ngendlela engafanelekanga. Oku iye yakwenza ngokuphumelelayo kwamanye amantombazana—ayekuvuyela ukufumana ingqalelo yayo, kodwa kwakungenjalo ngam! Ukuyicela kakuhle ukuba indiyeke akuzange kuncede. Yayingaqondi ukuba ndandinyanisile.”
Ingxaki ka-Anita asiyiyo engaqhelekanga. Ukuhlaselwa ngokwesini kwakubonakala kuxhaphakile ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile. (Thelekisa uRute 2:8, 9, 15.) Kwaye kuxhaphake ngendlela exhalabisayo namhlanje. Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo ithi: “Wambi amadoda emsebenzini aye athetha izinto ezingcolileyo ngomzimba wam.” Kodwa amaxesha amaninzi ukuhlasela kudlulela ngaphaya kwamazwi nje. Wongezelela athi: “Wambi aye azama ukundibamba.” Intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguRené yaxelela uVukani! oku: “Ukuhlaselwa kwaba kubi gqitha emsebenzini kangangokuba kwanyanzeleka ukuba ndiwuyeke.”
Kolunye uhlolisiso lwakutshanje kwanikelwa ingxelo yokuba ama-81 ekhulwini abafundi abakwibanga lesi-6 ukusa kwelesi-9 bathi baye bahlaselwa ngokwesini ubuncinane kanye. IU.S.News & World Report, ithi: “Kwabo, ama-65 ekhulwini amantombazana kwakunye nama-42 ekhulwini amakhwenkwe aye abanjwa, atswetywa ngendlela evuselelayo ngokwesini.” Ewe, amakhwenkwe kwakunye namantombazana aye angamaxhoba. Kunjengokuba umzali wenye inkwenkwe ekwishumi elivisayo ekhumbula oku: “Iye yandothusa indlela anesibindi ngayo amantombazana akwisikolo afunda kuso unyana wam. Ukususela kwixesha awayemalunga neminyaka eli-12 ubudala, siye safumana iminxeba engapheliyo, ukukhuthazwa ukuba enze amadinga, amazwi angcolileyo—ndibala ntoni na.”
Kulula ukusithabatha njengento engenamsebenzi esi similo sicaphukisayo. Omnye oselula wathi: “Maxa wambi oku kwenziwa kuqhulwa.” Kodwa asikokuqhula kumaKristu! Ayazi ukuba ukuhlaselwa ngokwesini kusoloko kulilinge lokuhendela ubani ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini, nto leyo uYehova uThixo ayithiyileyo. (1 Korinte 6:9, 10) Ukongezelela, iLizwi likaThixo liyalela ukuba amabhinqa aselula aphathwe ‘ngobunyulu bonke.’ (1 Timoti 5:2) Kwakhona liyakwalela “ukuqhula okungamanyala.” (Efese 5:3, 4, NW) Ngoko ke, ulutsha olungamaKristu alumele lukuvumele ukuhlaselwa ngokwesini! Umbuzo ngulo, Unokuzikhusela njani ekubeni lixhoba lako? Makhe sithethe ngamanyathelo okukuthintela.
Iindlela Zokuphepha Ukuhlaselwa
Yakha udumo oluhle lwehambo yobuKristu. UYesu waluleka: “Malukhanye ukhanyiselo lwenu phambi kwabantu.” (Mateyu 5:16) Ukwabelana ngoko ukukholelwayo kunye nabo ufunda nabo okanye osebenza nabo yenye indlela yokukwenza oku. Xa usaziwa njengalowo unokholo olomeleleyo nemilinganiselo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha, akunakufane ube lixhoba lokuhlaselwa.
Yilumkele indlela onxiba nozilungisa ngayo. Kumaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile isinxibo esithile sasilichaza ibhinqa elithile njengeliziphethe kakubi. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 7:10.) Ngokufanayo namhlanje, izimbo ezivuselelayo zisenokukwenza uthandwe ngoontanga bakho, kodwa zisenokudlulisela ingcamango ephosakeleyo. Usenokuzifumanisa utsala uhlobo olungafanelekanga lwengqalelo yabesini esahlukileyo. Ingxaki efanayo inokuvela xa intombazana isebenzisa izithambiso zokuzilungisa ngendlela eyenza ikhangeleke indala kunokuba injalo ngokwenene. Icebiso leBhayibhile lelokuba ‘unxibe iingubo ezifanelekileyo, uneentloni, unesidima.’—1 Timoti 2:9.
Zikhethe ngobulumko izinxulumani zakho. (IMizekeliso 13:20) Ngapha koko, abantu baya kukwazi uhlobo lomntu onguye ngokujonga abo unxulumana nabo. Kwaye ukuba abahlobo bakho baziwa ngokuchitha ixesha elininzi bethetha ngabesini esahlukileyo, abantu banokuba nembono ephosakeleyo ngawe.—Thelekisa iGenesis 34:1, 2.
Kuphephe ukudlala ngothando. Kuyinyaniso ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuba ngonobuhlobo, sekunjalo ukuthi nzo amehlo okanye ukubamba kunokuqondwa phosakeleyo ngowesini esahlukileyo. Akuyomfuneko ukumbamba omnye umntu xa uncokola naye. Sebenzisa uMthetho Omkhulu uze ubaphathe abesini esahlukileyo kanye ngendlela nawe ofuna ukuphathwa ngayo—ngobunyulu nangentlonelo. (Mateyu 7:12) Kuphephe ukuzama ukutsala ingqalelo yowesini esahlukileyo ngenjongo nje yokuzonwabisa. Ukwenjenjalo akusayi kuba kukungabi nabubele okanye ukukhohlisa nje kuphela kodwa kunokuba yingozi. KwiMizekeliso 6:27 iBhayibhile iyabuza: “Umntu unokuwuthabatha na umlilo ase esifubeni sakhe, zingatshi na iingubo zakhe?”
Xa Usiba Lixhoba
Kambe ke, kwanaxa wenze iinguqulelo ezifanelekileyo, kwindlela onxiba ngayo, ekuzilungiseni, okanye kwihambo yakho, abanye abanalungelo lakukubamba okanye bathethe izinto ezingcolileyo kuwe. Ibe kwanolutsha obelusoloko lungumzekelo ngokwembonakalo nangesimilo luye lwaba ngamaxhoba. Ufanele wenze ntoni xa oku kusenzeka kuwe? Nanga amacebiso athile.
Landula ngokuqinileyo. Akunto ingaziwayo ukuba abathile basenokulandula xa kusenziwa izinto ezikhokelela kwiintlobano zesini ngoxa ngokwenene bevuma. Ngoko ke abahlaseli basenokucinga ukuba uhayi otshiwo buyeke-yeke ngokwenene uthetha uewe—okanye ubuncinane mhlawumbi—de ubenze baqiniseke ngandlel’ ithile. Icebiso likaYesu lokuba uhayi abe nguhayi lisebenza kakuhle kulo mbandela. (Mateyu 5:37) Musa ukuhleka okanye ube neentloni. Ungaze uvumele izimbo zakho zomzimba, ilizwi, okanye imbonakalo yobuso iphikisane namazwi akho.
Bonisa ukuba akukuthandi oko. Abo bahlasela ngokwesini basoloko bexhomekeke ekungafunini kwamaxhoba abo ukuxhathisa. Noko ke, kumaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, amabhinqa akwaSirayeli ayelinikiwe ilungelo, enyanisweni, imbopheleleko yokuxhathisa ukuhlaselwa ngokwesini. (Duteronomi 22:23, 24) Ngokufanayo namhlanje, umKristu akanakuvakalelwa kukuba ukubanjwa ngendlela engafanelekanga okanye ukuphathaphathwa akuyonto inzulu kangako. Kuphosakele, yaye kukuhlaselwa kwesidima sakho njengomntu nanjengomKristu. Akumele ukwamkele oko! IBhayibhile iyasibongoza: “Kuthiyeni okungendawo”!—Roma 12:9.
Enye indlela eluncedo yokuphelisa le hambo ingafanelekanga kukubonisa ukuba akuvisisani nayo uze umphoxe lowo ukuhlaselayo; mhlawumbi uya kukuyeka. Khumbula amava ka-Anita, okhankanywe ekuqaleni. Ukucela lowo wayemhlasela ngesimilo ukuba ayeke ukumbamba akuzange kuncede. UAnita usixelela oku: “Kwanyanzeleka ukuba ndimphoxe phambi kwabahlobo bakhe ngokuthi ngokuvakalayo ndimxelele kuba AYEKE ukundibamba ngolo hlobo!” Waba yintoni umphumo? “Bonke abahlobo bakhe bamhleka. Okwethutyana wayedane gqitha, kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, wacela uxolo ngenxa yesenzo sakhe kwaye kamva wayendikhusela xa omnye umntu ezama ukundikhathaza.”
Ukuba amazwi akasebenzi, ngokulula nje kusenokufuneka uhambe—okanye ude ulubaleke—olo hlaselo. Kwaye ukuba akukwazi ukulubaleka, unelungelo lokusebenzisa naziphi na iindlela zokuzikhusela ekuhlaselweni. Enye intombazana engumKristu yakubeka oko ngokuphandle ngale ndlela: “Xa enye inkwenkwe yazama ukundibamba, ndayibetha ngenqindi kakhulu kangangoko ndandinako, ndaza ndabaleka!” Kambe ke, oku akuthethi kuthi umhlaseli akayi kuzama kwakhona. Ngoko kusenokuba yimfuneko ukuba ufumane uncedo.
Xelela omnye umntu. UAdrienne oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala uyavuma: “Oko koko kwafuneka ndikwenze ekugqibeleni. Ndacela icebiso labazali kule meko xa inkwenkwe endandicinga ukuba ngumhlobo olungileyo yayingandiyeki. Okukhona ndandibonakalisa ukungakuthandi oko, kwaba kokukhona izingisa, phantse ngokungathi kwakungumdlalo.” Abazali baka-Adrienne bamnika icebiso elisebenzisekayo elamnceda wajamelana ngokulunge ngakumbi nale ngxaki.
Abazali bakho banokukunceda uhlangabezane nayo nayiphi na imiphumo engokweemvakalelo enokubangelwa kukuhlaselwa, enjengokuphoxeka, uloyiko, okanye udano. Banokukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuhlaselwa bekungelotyala lakho. Basenokuthabatha amanyathelo okukukhusela kwixesha elizayo.
Ngokomzekelo, basenokugqiba kwelokuba kunokuba yingenelo ukuba baxelele umfundisi-ntsapho wakho okanye abaphathi besikolo ngale ngxaki. Kwizikolo ezininzi eUnited States ziqwalaselwa ngokunzulu izikhalazo yaye kukho nemigaqo ecacileyo yokusingatha ukuhlaselwa ngokwesini phakathi kwabafundi.
Liyinyaniso elokuba, asingabo bonke abaphathi besikolo abanovelwano. UEarlisha oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala uthi: “Maxa wambi kwisikolo endifunda kuso abafundisi-ntsapho bayathuka baze benze izinto ezingaphezulu kwezo zenziwa ngabantwana. Uyaxakwa ukuba unokulufumana phi uncedo.” Ngoko, akumangalisi ukuba xa waxelayo ukuba wayehlaselwa, watyholwa ngelokuba wayengqongqo gqitha. Noko ke, uEarlisha akazange anikezele. Waqokelela amanye amantombazana amathandathu awayetswetywe aza aphathaphathwa yinkwenkwe ekwanye. Uthi: “Kwafuneka abantu abathandathu ukuze siqinisekise inqununu ukuba kwakukho ingxaki ngokwenene.” Ekugqibeleni, wakwazi ukuphelisa le hambo ingentle.
Phethukela kuThixo ukuze akuxhase. Ukuba maxa wambi ukuba sesikolweni kufana nokubambiseka kumhadi weengonyama, khumbula ukuba uYehova uThixo wamkhusela umprofeti uDaniyeli kumhadi weengonyama wokoqobo. (Daniyeli 6:16-22) UYehova unokukunceda nawe. Uyaziqonda iingcinezelo ojamelana nazo esikolweni. Kwaye xa imeko isiba nzima, unokumcela ukuba akuncede—ngokuvakalayo ukuba kuyimfuneko! Musa ukoyika okanye uzive uphoxekile xa usaziwa njengomkhonzi kaThixo oyinyaniso. IBhayibhile ithembisa abakhonzi abanyanisekileyo bakaYehova isithi: “Umgcini wemiphefumlo yabanceba bakhe uya kubahlangula esandleni sabangendawo.”—INdumiso 97:10.
Oku akusosiqinisekiso sokuba uya kuhlangulwa ngokungummangaliso. Umele wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuzikhusela. Landela imigaqo yeBhayibhile. Yiba ngomsulwa kwintetho nakwimbonakalo yakho. Yiba nobulumko xa uqhubana nabesini esahlukileyo. Ngokwenjenjalo, unokwenza okungakumbi ukuze uzikhusele ekuhlaselweni.
Ukuba ungathanda ukufumana inkcazelo eyongezelelekileyo okanye unqwenela kubekho ubani okuqhubela isifundo seBhayibhile sekhaya sesisa, nceda ubhalele kwiWatch Tower, Private Bag X2067, Krugersdorp, 1740, okanye kwikhelingi efanelekileyo kwezidweliswe kwiphepha 5.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]
Musa ukuba buyeke-yeke xa ulandula izenzo ezingafanelekanga; uhayi wakho makabe nguhayi!