Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndifanele Ndenze Ntoni Xa Umhlobo Engena Enkathazweni?

USherrie oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala uthi: “Umhlobo wam osenyongweni wakhukuliseka waza wayeka ukuba ngumKristu. Oku kundenza ndibe buhlungu. Ndiye ndazama ngamandla ukumkhuthaza!”a

NGABA uthile osondelelene naye ukhe wangena enkathazweni okanye waqalisa ukuphila uhlobo oluthandabuzekayo lobomi? UJohnny uthi: “Ndandisondelelene noChris. Sasingabahlobo abasenyongweni. Ngenye imini wabaleka ekhaya. Oku kwandothusa, kwaye ndaziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndimkhangele. Ndahamba ubusuku bonke ngenqwelo-mafutha ndimkhangela.”

IBhayibhile yalumkisa ngelokuba ngemihla yokugqibela, abantu abaselula nabakhulileyo babeya kufikelwa ziingcinezelo ezinzima. (2 Timoti 3:1-5) Ngoko akufanele kusothuse maxa wambi xa umKristu oselula ekhubeka. Kodwa xa oko kusenzeka kuthile omkhathaleleyo, usenokuvakalelwa ngokwahlukileyo, usenokuba lusizi, ube nemfesane okanye ube nomsindo. Ufuna ukumnceda umhlobo wakho. Kodwa uza kukwenza njani oko?

‘Ndinokumsindisa’

IBhayibhile ithi: “Lowo wamguqulayo umoni ekulahlekeni kwakhe, woba usindise umphefumlo [womoni] ekufeni, wagubungela inkitha yezono.” (Yakobi 5:20) Kodwa ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba ukwenza oko kuyimbopheleleko yakho? Kusenokungabi njalo. Abazali bomhlobo wakho banembopheleleko eyintloko ngaye. (Efese 6:4) Ukongezelela iBhayibhile ithi kwabaseGalati 6:1: “Bazalwana, ukuba umntu uthe waqutyulwa nokuqutyulwa sisiphoso esithile, nina bangaboMoya, mlulekeni onjalo ninomoya wobulali.” Abaveleli bebandla bafaneleke ngokukhethekileyo kule nkalo. Ngenxa yoko bakwimeko elunge ngakumbi yokunceda kunokuba unjalo.

Umele uqonde ukuba, njengomntu oselula unamava alinganiselweyo ngobomi. (Thelekisa amaHebhere 5:14.) Ngoko ngokuthozama kwazi ukusikelwa umda kwakho kule nkalo uze ukuphephe ukuthabatha into ongenakuyifeza. (IMizekeliso 11:2) Khawucinge ngoselula ogama linguRebekah. Wazama ukunceda umhlobo wakhe oyinkwenkwe, osisizalwane sakhe nowabandakanyeka ekusebenziseni iziyobisi. Uyabalisa: “Eyona nto yayindinyanzela yayikukuba wayezityande igila kum kunokuba enjenjalo kubazali bakhe. Ndazama ukumnceda, kodwa kwakunzima gqitha. Ekugqibeleni kwandinceda ukuqonda ukuba kwakungekho nto ndandinokuyenza . . . Ndandingenakumsindisa.” Ngoko uRebekah wambongoza ukuba afune uncedo kubantu abakhulileyo nabafanelekayo.

UMatthew oselula wayekwimeko efanayo, kodwa wakuqonda zisuka nje ukusikelwa umda kwakhe. Uthi ngokuphathelele umhlobo wakhe owayesenkathazweni: “Wayedla ngokuza neengxaki zakhe kum, kodwa ndandidla ngokumxelela ukuba makaye kubazali bakhe. Ndandingafuni ukuzibophelela ngeengxaki zakhe.”

Indlela Onokunceda Ngayo

Oku akuthethi ukuba akukho nto unokuyenza ukuze uncede. Oko kuxhomekeke kakhulu kwiimeko. Mhlawumbi umhlobo wakho ufuna ukuzityand’ igila kuwe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ubungathanda ukumnceda yaye umphulaphule. (IMizekeliso 18:24; 21:13) Okanye usenokuba uye walandela indlela yokuphila ethandabuzekayo. Bekuya kuba kokufanelekileyo ukuthabatha inyathelo lokuqala uze umxelele ukuba nangona umkhathalele, akukwamkeli oko akwenzayo.

Enye imeko isenokubandakanya umhlobo ovumayo ukuba uye wabandakanyeka kwisenzo esiphosakeleyo esinzulu. Usenokude azame ukukwenza umthembise ukuba akusayi kuxelela mntu. Kodwa iBhayibhile ithi: ‘Ungaze . . . ube ngonesabelo kwizono zabanye; zigcine unyulu.’ (1 Timoti 5:22, NW) Ukuba umhlobo wakho ebegula ngokungaginyisi mathe kwaye efuna uncedo lwezamayeza, ngaba ubungayi kumnyanzela ukuba nihambe niye kugqirha? Ngokufanayo, ukuba uye wenza isenzo esiphosakeleyo esinzulu, ufuna uncedo olungokomoya. Ukuwufihla lo mbandela kunokumbulala ngokomoya—kuze kulonakalise ibandla. Ngoko ke unembopheleleko yokuqinisekisa ukuba abadala bebandla bayaziswa.—Thelekisa iLevitikus 5:1.

UCaroline oselula ngenkalipho akazange avumelane nomhlobo wakhe otenxileyo owayexokisa abazali bakhe. Uthi: “Ndamnika nje iiveki ezimbini ukuba aye kubadala. Ndamxelela ukuba, ukuba wayengayanga ndandiza kuya kubo ngokwam. Oku kwakungelula ukuba ndikwenze.” UJohnny, okhankanywe ekuqaleni, wabonisa inkalipho efanayo. Ngokuphathelele umhlobo wakhe, uJohnny ukhumbula oku: “Kwandimangalisa ukufumanisa ukuba wayehlalisana nentombazana. Ekhayeni lakhe kwakukho abafana ababesela kwaye betshaya.” UJohnny wamcela umhlobo wakhe ukuba aphume apho waza wakuncomela gqitha ukuba afune uncedo kubadala ebandleni.

Umhlobo wakho usenokuyixabisa okanye angayixabisi imigudu yakho. IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba xa abantakwabo babandakanyeka kwisenzo esiphosakeleyo, umfana onguYosefu “wazisa udaba lwabo olubi kuyise.” Ngokuqinisekileyo oku akuzange kumenze athandwe ngabantakwabo. Eneneni, “bamthiya.”—Genesis 37:2-4.

Ngaba Izinto Zifanele Ziqhubeke Ngendlela Eqhelekileyo?

Noko ke, uya kuba uyigalel’ amanzi imigudu yakho yokunceda, ukuba uqhubeka uzonwabisa nomhlobo wakho ngokungathi akukho nto yenzekileyo. Kweyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 15:33, umpostile uPawulos wawalumkisa amaKristu nxamnye nokunxulumana nabenzi bobubi. Ukunxulumana ngokusondeleyo nabanjalo kunokukonakalisa!

UMollie oselula wakufunda kabuhlungu oku xa umhlobo wakhe uSally waqalisa ukwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo. USally wayenganelanga nje ukuba mncinane ukuba angatshata kodwa wayesenza amadinga namakhwenkwe awayengengomaKristu. UMollie wayibetha ngoyaba le meko waza waqhubeka enxulumana nomhlobo wakhe. Waba yintoni umphumo? UMollie uthi: “Ekugqibeleni, uSally wandifunela inkwenkwe yehlabathi, kwaye sasizikhupha kunye.” Ngethamsanqa, uMollie wafumana uncedo kubadala bebandla ngaphambi kokuba imeko ibe mandundu kakhulu.

Ngokukwanjalo uLynn walalanisa ngendlela eyingozi ukuze alondoloze ubuhlobo bakhe nentombazana egama linguBeth. ULynn ukhumbula oku: “Ndandivakalelwa kukuba ndandinokumhlangula, kodwa ndatsho phantsi. Ndandihamba naye ukuya kwiindawo zokuzonwabisa zasebusuku. Ndandisazi ukuba oko kwakuphosakele, kodwa ndandingafuni ukumphoxa. Iingxaki zakhe zaqalisa ukundisinda. Andizange ndithethe ngalo mbandela, ndicinga ukuba le ngxaki iya kuphela, kodwa yakhula.” Kwenzeka intlekele eyamothusa gqitha uLynn. Umhlobo wakhe uBeth wabulawa ngumfana owayesenza naye amadinga.

Ukunamathela kumhlobo wakho kusenokubonakala kuyinto entle. Kodwa ukuba umhlobo wakho ebetshona ngokoqobo kumsinga onamandla, ngaba nawe ubuya kuziphosa phakathi? Oko bekuya kunibulala nobabini. Into esengqiqweni obunokuyenza kukumphosela into yokumhlangula. Ngokufanayo, kufuneka unikele uncedo umgama.—Yuda 22, 23.

Ukuzigcina kude kubalulekile xa umhlobo wakho egxothiwe ebandleni. IBhayibhile iyalela ukuba ‘ningazidibanisi’ nalowo unjalo. (1 Korinte 5:11) Nakuba usamkhathalele umhlobo wakho, ungoyena unokumnceda, ingekuko ukumlandela kwisenzo sakhe esiphosakeleyo, kodwa ngokubonisa ukunyaniseka kuYehova. (INdumiso 18:25) Ukungalalanisi kwakho kusenokuba linyathelo elifunekayo nelinokumqhubela ekubeni aphinde azihlolisise izenzo zakhe. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba, ukunyaniseka kwakho kuya kumvuyisa uYehova.—IMizekeliso 27:11.

Umthwalo Onzima Ngokugqithiseleyo

Noko ke, ngokufuthi, ezona nzame zikabani zokunceda ziwa phantsi. URebekah ukhumbula oku ngokuphathelele umhlobo wakhe: “Ndenza umzamo ukuze ndimncede. Ndade ndambhalela neleta, kodwa akazange ayiphendule.” UCaroline wafumanisa ukuba emva kweenyanga ezama ukunceda umhlobo owayekhasela eziko, “waqalisa ukunxunguphala.”

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba “elowo kuthi uya kuziphendulela kuThixo.” (Roma 14:12) Kwaye ngoxa kufanelekile ukunceda uthile athwale imithwalo yakhe, okanye iingxaki zobuqu, ngokunikela uncedo olusebenzisekayo, akunako ukuthwala “umthwalo” womnye umntu—oko kukuthi, imbopheleleko yakhe phambi koThixo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Elowo uya kuwuthwala owakhe umthwalo.” (Galati 6:5) Akubophelelekanga ngokhetho olwenziwa ngumhlobo wakho.

Sekunjalo, kubuhlungu ukubukela umhlobo edlakaza ubomi bakhe. Umfana ogama linguMike uthi ngokuphathelele ukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo: “Kwandidanisa gqitha. Ndandisondelelene gqitha noMark nabazali bakhe. Ndadandatheka gqitha.”

Kungokwemvelo ukuba buhlungu xa ulahlekelwe ngumhlobo wakho. Phofu ke, ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho nothile omthembayo kunokukunceda. (IMizekeliso 12:25) URebekah uthi: “Ngoncedo lwabazali bam, ndakwazi ukuhlangabezana nale meko.” Kwakhona unokuziphalaza iimvakalelo zakho kuYehova uThixo ngomthandazo. (INdumiso 62:8) UCaroline uwushwankathela kakuhle lo mbandela ngokuthi: “Ukuthandaza kuYehova nokushumayela kwabanye kwandinceda kakhulu. Kwakhona ndanxulumana nabanye ebandleni, ingakumbi amabhinqa akhulileyo. Ekugqibeleni ndaqonda ukuba abantu baya kuphendula ngezenzo zabo kwaye kwakufuneka ndiqhubeke nobomi bam.” Ngokwenza konke oko, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuzinceda. Kwaye usenokumnceda nomhlobo wakho otenxileyo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 13]

Mkhuthaze umhlobo wakho ukuba afune uncedo