Ukufunda Ukubakhulula Abantwana

“NJENGEENTOLO esandleni segorha, banjalo oonyana bobutsha,” wabhala watsho umdumisi weBhayibhile. (INdumiso 127:4) Utolo alufikeleli ngengozi kwixhoba lalo. Lufanele lujoliswe kakuhle. Ngendlela efanayo, abantwana abanakulufikelela usukelo lokuba ngabantu abakhulileyo abakwaziyo ukusingatha iimbopheleleko ngaphandle kokhokelo lwabazali. “Mfundise umntwana ngendlela efanele umntwana,” ibongoza ngelitshoyo iBhayibhile, ibe “naxa athe wamkhulu, akasayi kumka kuyo.”—IMizekeliso 22:6.

Ukusuka ekubeni ngumntwana ongakwazi kuzenzela nto ukusa ekubeni ngumntu okhulileyo ozimeleyo akunakwenzeka ngamabona-ndenzile. Ngoko abazali bafanele baqale nini ukufundisa abantwana babo ukuba bazimele? Umpostile uPawulos wamkhumbuza oku umfana ogama linguTimoti: “Ukususela ebusaneni uye wayazi imibhalo engcwele, enako ukukwenza ube nobulumko obusa elusindisweni ngalo ukholo olunxibelelene noKristu Yesu.” (2 Timoti 3:15) Khawufan’ ucinge, umama kaTimoti waqalisa ukumfundisa izinto zokomoya eseyimveku!

Ngoko, ukuba iimveku zinokungenelwa xa zifundiswa izinto zokomoya, ngaba akukho ngqiqweni ukuba abantwana bafanele bafundiswe ukuba ngabantu abakhulileyo ngokukhawuleza kangangoko kunokwenzeka? Enye indlela yokwenza oku kukubafundisa ukusingatha iimbopheleleko, bazenzele izigqibo.

Ukufundisa Abantwana Ukusingatha Iimbopheleleko

Unokubakhuthaza njani abantwana bakho ukuba bakwazi ukusingatha iimbopheleleko? Esinye isibini esitshatileyo ekuthiwa nguJack noNora sikhumbula oku ngokuphathelele intombi yaso: “Xa yayingekakwazi ukuhamba, yafunda ukuphatha iikawusi okanye ezinye izinto ezincinane izise egumbini layo lokulala ize izifake kwidrowa efanelekileyo. Kwakhona yafunda ukubeka izinto zokudlala neencwadi kwiindawo zazo ezifanelekileyo.” Yayisengamaqalela nje lawo, kodwa lo mntwana wayesele eqalisile ukufunda ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo.

Njengoko umntwana ekhula, mhlawumbi usenokuphathiswa iimbopheleleko ezinkudlwana. Ngenxa yoko uAbra noAnita bavumela ukuba intombi yabo ifuye inja. Lo mntwana wayenembopheleleko yokunyamekela le nja ibe wayekhupha kwimali yakhe ayiphiwayo ukuze ayinyamekele. Ukufundisa abantwana ukuphumeza iimbopheleleko zabo kufuna umonde. Kodwa kubalulekile ibe kufak’ isandla ekukhuleni kwabo ngokweemvakalelo.

Imisetyenzana yasekhaya ilelinye ithuba lokufundisa abantwana ukusingatha imbopheleleko. Abanye abazali bababekel’ ecaleni abantwana babo phantse kuyo yonke imisebenzi yentsapho, becinga ukuba kuyinkathazo ukubanika yona kunokuba kube luncedo. Abanye bavakalelwa kukuba abantwana babo bafanele ‘bachamfuze emafutheni kunokuba kwakunjalo kubo besengabantwana.’ Baqiqa ngendlela ephosakeleyo. IZibhalo zithi: “Ukuba ubani umtefisa kwasebutsheni umkhonzi wakhe, kanjalo kamva ebomini uya kuba ngongenambulelo.” (IMizekeliso 29:21, NW) Ngokuqinisekileyo umgaqo okwesi sibhalo ubhekisela ebantwaneni. Kuba lusizi xa oselula esiba ngumntu okhulileyo enganeli nje ukuba “ngongenambulelo” kodwa engakwazi ukwenza kwaneyona misebenzi ilula yasekhaya.

Ngokuqhelekileyo ulutsha lwaludla ngokwabelwa imisetyenzana yasekhaya ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile. Ngokomzekelo, eselityendyana elineminyaka eli-17 ubudala, uYosefu oselula waba nesabelo kumsebenzi wokunyamekela imihlambi yentsapho. (Genesis 37:2) Oku kwakungeyondlwan’ iyanetha, ekubeni uyise wayenemihlambi emininzi. (Genesis 32:13-15) Ekubeni uYosefu wakhula waza waba yinkokeli enamandla, licace mhlophe elokuba ukufundiswa kwakhe eselula kwafak’ igxalaba kakhulu ekuxonxeni ubuntu bakhe ngendlela eyingenelo. Ngokufanayo, uDavide owayeza kuba ngukumkani wakwaSirayeli waphathiswa imihlambi yentsapho yakowabo eselula.—1 Samuweli 16:11.

Oku kubafundisa ntoni abazali namhlanje? Yabela abantwana bakho imisetyenzana yasekhaya eyingenelo. Xa uzinika ixesha, usenza umgudu uze ube nomonde, unokubafundisa abaselula ukuba babe nesabelo ekucoceni, ekuphekeni, ekugcineni iyadi icocekile nasekulungiseni indlu nenqwelo-mafutha. Liyinyaniso elokuba, ubukhulu becala oku kuxhomekeke kubudala nasemandleni omntwana. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kwanabantwana abancinane banokuba nesabelo ngokomlinganiselo othile ‘ekuncediseni uTata xa elungisa inqwelo-mafutha’ okanye ‘ekuncediseni uMama xa epheka isidlo.’

Kwakhona ukufundisa abantwana imisetyenzana yasekhaya kufuna ukuba abazali babanike isipho esixabiseke gqitha—ixesha labo. Esinye isibini esitshatileyo, esinabantwana ababini, sabuzwa ngeyona nto iluncedo ekufundiseni abantwana ngendlela ephumelelayo. Saphendula ngelithi: “Lixesha, lixesha, lixesha!”

Isiluleko Sothando

Xa abantwana beyenza kakuhle imisebenzi yabo, okanye ubuncinane besenza umgudu ukuze bayiphumeze, bancome ngokukhululekileyo nangokusuka entliziyweni! (Thelekisa uMateyu 25:21.) Kambe ke, kunqabile ukuba abantwana bakwazi ukwenza imisebenzi kanye njengabantu abakhulileyo. Ibe xa abantwana bevunyelwa ukuba bazenzele izigqibo, baya kusoloko besenza iimpazamo. Kodwa kulumkele ukubahlab’ amadlala ngokugqithiseleyo! Ngaba akuzange uzenze iimpazamo njengomntu okhulileyo? Ngoko kutheni ungabi nomonde xa umntwana wakho esenza impazamo? (Thelekisa INdumiso 103:13.) Zivumele iimpazamo. Zigqale njengenxalenye yokufunda.

Umbhali uMichael Schulman noEva Mekler bathi: “Abantwana abaphathwa ngendlela enobuhlobo aboyiki ukuba baya kohlwaywa xa bezigqibela.” Noko ke, “abantwana babazali abangenabuhlobo nabangqwabalala bayoyika ukuzenzela phantse nantoni na, kuquka izinto eziluncedo, besoyika ukuba abazali babo baya kukunyemba oko bakwenzileyo baze babagxeke okanye babohlwaye.” La magqabaza ayavisisana nesi silumkiso seBhayibhile esiya kubazali: “Musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu, khon’ ukuze bangafi intliziyo.” (Kolose 3:21) Ngoko xa umntwana engayenzanga ncam le nto ibifunwa, kutheni ungamncomi ubuncinane ngenxa yomzamo awenzileyo? Mkhuthaze ukuba aphucule kwixesha elizayo. Mxelele ukuba uvuyiswa gqitha yinkqubela ayenzayo. Mqinisekise ukuba uyamthanda.

Kambe ke, maxa wambi kuye kufuneke kunikelwe isiluleko. Oku kusenokubonakala ngokukodwa kwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo, xa abantu abaselula bezama ukuzibonakalisa ukuba bangoobani, befuna ukwamkelwa njengoothile abakwazi ukwenza okuthile. Ngoko ke abazali benza ngobulumko xa bewajonga amalinge alolo hlobo okuzimela ngendlela efanelekileyo kunokusoloko bewagqala njengokuba nemvukelo.

Liyinyaniso elokuba, abaselula batyekele ekusebenziseni iimvakalelo okanye bayekelele ‘kwiminqweno ebakho ebutsheni.’ (2 Timoti 2:22) Ngoko ukusilela ukubeka imiqathango kwisimilo sabaselula kunokuzonakalisa iimvakalelo zomntwana; akayi kufunda ukuzeyisa nokuziqeqesha. IBhayibhile ilumkisa ngelithi: “Ke yena umntwana oyekelelweyo udanisa unina.” (IMizekeliso 29:15) Kodwa uqeqesho olufanelekileyo, oludluliselwa ngothando, luyingenelo ibe luxhobisa oselula ngeemfuno neengcinezelo zobuntu obukhulu. IBhayibhile ibongoza isithi: “Oyiyekileyo intonga yakhe umthiyile unyana wakhe; ke omthandayo umqeqesha esemncinane.” (IMizekeliso 13:24) Noko ke khumbula ukuba injongo yoqeqesho kukufundisa—kungekhona ukohlwaya. “Intonga” ekuthethwa ngayo apha kusenokwenzeka ukuba ibhekisela kumsimelelo owawusetyenziswa ngabelusi ukukhokela imihlambi yabo. (INdumiso 23:4) Ingumqondiso wokhokelo lothando—kungekhona ubungqwabalala.

Imfundo Enika Ubomi

Ukhokelo lwabazali lufuneka ngokukhethekileyo xa kufikelelwa kwimfundo yomntwana. Yiba nomdla kwimfundo yomntwana wakho. Mncede akhethe izifundo ezifanelekileyo esikolweni aze enze isigqibo esifanelekileyo enoba uya kufuna imfundo eyongezelelekileyo kusini na.a

Kambe ke, eyona mfundo ibalulekileyo kunazo zonke yimfundo yokomoya. (Isaya 54:13) Abantwana kufuneka babe nemilinganiselo yobuthixo ukuze baphumelele xa sele bekhulile. “Amandla abo okuqonda” amele aqeqeshwe. (Hebhere 5:14) Abazali banokuba nendima enkulu ekubancedeni kule nkalo. Iintsapho zamaNgqina kaYehova ziyakhuthazwa ukuba ziyifundisise rhoqo iBhayibhile nabantwana bazo. Belandela umzekelo kamama kaTimoti, owamfundisa iZibhalo kwasebusaneni, ngokufanayo abazali abangamaNgqina bafundisa abantwana babo abancinane.

Umzali ongenaqabane ogama linguBarbara usenza isifundo sentsapho seBhayibhile sibangele umdla ngakumbi kubantwana bakhe. “Ngaloo ngokuhlwa ndiyaqiniseka ukuba ndibaphekela isidlo esithi nditye abantwana kwakunye nezimuncumuncu abazithandayo. Ndibadlalela iikhasethi zeeKingdom Melodies ukuze babe kwimekobume entle. Emva kokuvula ngomthandazo, ngokuqhelekileyo sifundisisa iphephancwadi IMboniselo. Kodwa xa kukho imfuno ekhethekileyo, ndisebenzisa iimpapasho ezifana nethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo.”b Ngokutsho kukaBarbara, ukufundisisa iBhayibhile kunceda abantwana bakhe “bafumane imbono kaYehova ngemicimbi.”

Ewe, asikho isipho esinokunikwa umntwana esingaphezu kolwazi nokuqonda iLizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile. ‘Izidenge inokuzinika ubuqili, ulutsha ilunike ulwazi nokunkqangiyela.’ (IMizekeliso 1:4) Ngenxa yokuba exhotyisiwe, umntu oselula uba ngumntu okhulileyo okulungeleyo ukuhlangabezana nocelomngeni neemeko angaqhelananga nazo.

Sekunjalo, ukulishiya kwabantwana ikhaya kubutshintsha kakhulu ubomi babazali abaninzi. Indlela abanokuhlangabezana ngayo ngokuphumelelayo nendlu ekhal’ ibhungane iza kuxutyushwa kwinqaku lethu elilandelayo.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 22]

“Abantwana babazali abangenabuhlobo nabangqwabalala bayoyika ukuzenzela phantse nantoni na, kuquka izinto eziluncedo, besoyika ukuba abazali babo baya kukunyemba oko bakwenzileyo baze babagxeke okanye babohlwaye.”—Bringing Up a Moral Child, nguMichael Schulman noEva Mekler

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 22]

Abazali Abangenamaqabane—Ucelomngeni Lokukhulula Abantwana Umzali ongenaqabane ogama linguRebecca uthi: “Kunzima gqitha ukuba abazali abangenamaqabane babakhulule abantwana babo. Ukuba asizilumkeli, siba nomkhwa wokubaphatha okwamaqanda.” Incwadi ethi Imfihlelo Yolonwabo Lwentsapho,c iphepha 106-7 yenza la magqabaza aluncedo:

“Kungokwemvelo ukuba abazali abangenamaqabane omtshato basondelelane ngokukhethekileyo nabantwana babo, ukanti bamele baqiniseke ukuba abawulibali umda owamiselwa nguThixo phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Ngokomzekelo, umama ongenaqabane lomtshato usenokuba sengxakini enzulu ukuba ulindela unyana wakhe athwale iimbopheleleko zikatata wekhaya okanye uziphalazela kwintombi yakhe zonke iingxaki zakhe, ethwalisa loo ntombi iingxaki ezinkulu. Ukwenza oko akufanelekanga, kuyamsinda, yaye mhlawumbi kusenokumdida umntwana. “Baqinisekise abantwana bakho ukuba wena, njengomzali, uza kubanyamekela—asingabo abaza kunyamekela wena. (Thelekisa eyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 12:14.) Maxa wambi, usenokufuna icebiso okanye ukuxhaswa. Lifune kubadala abangamaKristu okanye mhlawumbi kumabhinqa aqolileyo angamaKristu, kungekhona kubantwana bakho abancinane.—Tito 2:3.” Xa abazali abangenamaqabane bebeka umda ofanelekileyo baze balondoloze ulwalamano olufanelekileyo nabantwana babo, kusoloko kulula ngabo ukubakhulula.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 23]

Ukubaqeqesha kakuhle kunokubanceda abantwana babe ngabantu abakhulileyo abakwaziyo ukusingatha iimbopheleleko

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 24]

Isifundo sentsapho seBhayibhile sinokunika abantwana ubulumko obufunekayo ukuze bahlangabezane nobomi xa bekhulile