Uhlobo Lwempahla Esiyinxibayo—Ngaba Lubalulekile Ngokwenene?
“ANDAZI ukuba ndiza kunxiba ntoni!” Ngaba esi sikhalazo sivakala siqhelekile? Kakade ke, iivenkile zanamhla zefashoni, zisoloko zikulangazelela ukukunceda—okanye zikwenze udideke ngakumbi—ngezona mpahla zazo zisexesheni.
Ukwenza kube nzima ngakumbi ukwenza izigqibo, kule mihla usenokukhuthazwa ukuba unganxibi ngokundilisekileyo, kodwa ngokupholileyo. Kolu tyekelo olwahlukileyo lweminyaka yee-1990, inqaku lomhleli wefashoni lithi: “Kusenokukuvuyisa ukwazi ukuba akwamkelekanga nje kuphela ukubonakala unxunguphele, waluphele, uphatshile yaye ngokuqhelekileyo umbatshile, kodwa kuyanqweneleka.”
Eneneni, kule minyaka yakutshanje ukubhengezwa okukumgangatho ophezulu, abantu abaxeliswayo abakumabonwakude, oontanga, ukuzibabaza, kwanokunqwenela ukwaziwa kuye kwayiguqula ngokumasikizi indlela yokunxiba, ingakumbi kwabaselula. Abanye babo bade bangamasela kuba befuna ukukhangeleka bebahle.
Izimbo ezininzi zeminyaka yee-1990 zivela kwiindlela zokuphila zokubaxwa kwezinto zexesha elidluleyo njengamaxesha eehippie kwibutho labantu baseNtshona beminyaka yee-1960. Iindevu, iinwele ezinde ezingalungiswanga, neempahla ezishwabeneyo zibonisa ukugatywa kwemilinganiselo yesithethe. Kodwa isinxibo esibonisa imvukelo kwakhona siqalisa ukuvumelana okutsha, impembelelo entsha yoontanga.
Impahla iye yaba sisixhobo esisetyenziswa ngakumbi sokuzazisa. Iimpahla, ingakumbi izikipa, ziye zaba zizinto zokubhengeza imidlalo ethandwayo namaqhawe ezemidlalo, amazwi ahlekisayo, izinto zokoqobo, ubundlobongela, imilinganiselo yokuziphatha okuhle—okanye ukungabi nayo—nezinto zorhwebo. Okanye zinokothusa. Cinga ngomxholo ophambili weNewsweek yakutshanje: “Inkohlakalo Njengentetho Yefashoni Yabakwishumi Elivisayo.” Eli nqaku licaphula othile oneminyaka engama-21 ubudala othetha ngesikipa sakhe esithi: “Ndisinxiba kuba sixelela abantu ngesimo sam sengqondo. Andivumeli nabani na andixelele unothanda yaye andifuni mntu ondihluphayo.”
Oko kubonakala ezifubeni nasemiqolo kusenokwahluka kumntu ngamnye. Sekunjalo ukuvumelana—neqela elithile okanye nomoya oxhaphakileyo wemvukelo, ukunqula isiqu sakho, ukungalawuleki, okanye ugonyamelo—kuyabonakala. Omnye umyili udubula imingxunya ezimpahleni ngendlela abathengi abathanda ngayo. Uthi: “Basenokukhetha imingxunya yompu omncinane, imingxunya yombaxa, okanye imingxunya kambayimbayi. Oku kusefashonini.”
Ibonisa Ntoni Ifashoni?
“Ngokuqhelekileyo iimpahla ziyindlela yokukufanisa neqela lebutho elithile labantu,” utsho uJane de Teliga, umgcini wezinto zefashoni kwiPowerhouse Museum, eSydney, eOstreliya. Walek’ umsundulo esenjenje: “Uyakhetha ukuba ufuna ukufana noobani na uze unxibe ngaloo ndlela.” UGqr. Dianna Kenny, umhlohli wenzululwazi yengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseSydney, wathi njengendlela yokwahlulahlula abantu, impahla ibaluleke njengonqulo, ubutyebi, umsebenzi, ubuhlanga, imfundo, nedilesi yasekhaya. Ngokutsho kwephephancwadi iJet, ingcinezelo yobuhlanga kwesinye isikolo phantse esizele ngabantu abamhlophe eUnited States “iye yavela ngenxa yamantombazana esikolo aMhlophe aneenwele eziphothiweyo, iimpahla ezinkulu, nezinye iifashoni ze-‘hip-hop’ kuba zinxulunyaniswa nabantu abaNtsundu.”
Ukufuna ukuba kwiqela labantu abathile nako kuyabonakala kwezinye iindlela zokuphila, njengakumculo: Iphephancwadi iMaclean’s lithi: “Kwiimeko ezininzi, impahla ihambisana nohlobo lomculo: abathandi be-reggae banxiba imibala eqaqambileyo neekepusi zaseJamaica, ngoxa abo bathanda umculo oyi-grunge rock banxiba i-ski tuques neehempe ze-plaid.” Kodwa nokuba ziziphi na iimpahla, inkangeleko yokunxiba ngokungakhathali, ngokungandilisekanga, njengomntu olahliweyo nolihlwempu, nempahla embatshileyo isenokuxabisa kakhulu.
Kwenzeka Ntoni Kwimilinganiselo Yokunxiba?
Umbhali wemihlathi uWoody Hochswender uthi: “Yonke into ayisekho ngendlela obucinga ngayo. Ifashoni yamadoda, eyayilawulwa yimigaqo engqongqo, iye ayalawuleka ngakumbi . . . Yonke into ifanele ibonakale ngokungathi isuke nje yanxitywa kungxanyiwe.” Noko ke, olu tyekelo kwezinye iimeko lusenokubonakalisa isimo sengqondo sokungakhathali. Okanye lusenokubonakalisa ukungazihloneli okanye ukungabahloneli banye.
Kwinqaku elingendlela abafundi ababajonga ngayo abafundisi-ntsapho, iphephancwadi iPerceptual and Motor Skills licacisa ukuba “nangona umfundisi-ntsapho onxiba ii-jeans wayejongwa njengowonwabisayo eklasini, ayenganikwa ingqalelo engako amacebiso akhe yaye wayesoloko egqalwa njengomfundisi-ntsapho obonakala engazi nto kwaphela.” Kwaeli phephancwadi lithi “utitshalakazi onxibe ii-jeans wayejongwa njengowonwabisayo, ongeneka lula, ongenalwazi lukhetheke kangako, ongafumani ntlonelo ingako, ongakhangeleki njengomfundisi-ntsapho yaye ngokuqhelekileyo uyathandwa.”
Kwangaxeshanye, kwezoshishino, kwakhona ifashoni ikwathetha enye into: amandla esinxibo. Kule minyaka yakutshanje amabhinqa amaninzi aye afuna izikhundla eziphezulu emisebenzini. UMarie, usomaqhuzu kumzi wokupapasha uthi: “Ndinxibela ukuhlasela. Ndifuna ukubonakala.” Waleka umsundulo esithi: “Ndifuna ukujongwa njengento ekhangeleka kakuhle.” UMarie unyanisekile xa ebonisa ukuba unikela ingqalelo kwisiqu sakhe.
Alinakukhanyelwa elokuba iifashoni ezidumileyo zikho nasezicaweni. Abanye abayithanda kakhulu ifashoni bade benze icawa yabo ibe yindawo yokubonisa esona sinxibo sabo sisexesheni. Sekunjalo, namhlanje abefundisi, nangona benxibe ezo ngubo zabo zinde, ngokufuthi emazantsi wofika betsho ngeejeans neeteki okanye esinye nje isambatho esisefashonini.
Kutheni Abantu Bezingca Kangaka Yaye Befuna Ukwaziwa?
Izazinzulu ngengqondo zithi ukunxiba ngokwesimbo esithile—ingakumbi phakathi kolutsha—yimbonakaliso yokuzingca, kukucel’ injezu. Bakuchaza “njengotyekelo olukhulu kwabakwishumi elivisayo lokufuna ukujongwa ngabantu.” Enyanisweni uthi: “Ndicinga ukuba uthe phithi ndim njengoko nam ndinjalo ngesiqu sam.”—American Journal of Orthopsychiatry.
Iintanda-bulumko eziphakamisela umntu phezulu zize zimtyeshele uThixo ziye kwakhona zakhuthaza ingcamango (ngokufuthi ezisasazwe zezorhwebo) yokuba wena siqu, ungoyena mntu ubalulekileyo kwindalo iphela. Ngoku ingxaki yile, kukho abantu abamalunga nezigidi ezingamawaka amathandathu ‘abangabona babalulekileyo.’ Izigidi kwiinkonzo zeNgqobhoko nazo ziye zabandakanyeka ekuthandeni izinto eziphathekayo, zilwela “ubomi obumnandi, ngoku.” (Thelekisa eyesi-2 kuTimoti 3:1-5.) Ukongezelela koku, umanyano nothando lokwenene entsatsheni luphelile, yaye akumangalisi ukuba abaninzi, ingakumbi ulutsha, benqakula nantoni na ukuze baziwe baze banqabiseke.
Noko ke, abo bakhathalayo ngesinxibo sabo nangokuma kwabo phambi kukaThixo ngokuqhelekileyo bayabuza: Ndinokuvumelana ukusa kuwuphi umkhamo neendlela zokunxiba ezitshintshayo? Ndazi njani ukuba indlela endinxiba ngayo ifanelekile? Ngaba idlulisela inkcazelo engaqondakaliyo okanye ithetha kakubi ngam?
Ngaba Ndinxibe Ngokufanelekileyo?
Ngokusisiseko oko sikunxibayo kungumbandela wokhetho lobuqu. Ukhetho lwethu luyahluka, njengoko kunjalo nangemali esinayo. Yaye amasiko ohlukile kwiindawo ngeendawo, kumazwe ngamazwe, nakwimozulu yeendawo ngeendawo. Kodwa enoba injani na imeko yakho, wugcine engqondweni lo mgaqo: “Into yonke inexesha elimisiweyo, nomcimbi wonke unexesha lawo phantsi kwezulu.” (INtshumayeli 3:1) Ngamanye amazwi, nxibela eso sihlandlo. Yaye okwesibini, “uhambe noThixo wakho ngokuthozamileyo.”—Mika 6:8.
Oko akuthethi ukunxiba ngokundiliseke ngokugqithiseleyo kodwa, kunoko, ngendlela ‘elungiswe kakuhle’ nebonisa ‘ingqondo ephilileyo.’ (1 Timoti 2:9, 10) Ngokufuthi, oku ngokulula kuthetha ukuzeyisa, uphawu iphephancwadi iWorking Woman elilunxulumanisa nokhetho oluhle nolunomtsalane. Indlela entle esengqiqweni, kukungaze uvumele iimpahla zakho zingene kuqala egumbini, ukothusa abanye. IWorking Woman ithi: “Nxiba . . . ukuze abantu bajonge ngaphaya kweempahla zakho baze babone oko ukuko njengomntu.”
Iphephancwadi iPerceptual and Motor Skills lithi: “Iincwadi ezininzi ezithetha ngendima yempahla ekwakheni uluvo noko ikuthethayo zibonisa ukuba impahla ibaluleke kakhulu ekwakheni uluvo lokuqala lwabanye.” Kwakulo mbandela ibhinqa elikwiminyaka yalo yama-40, elathi ngaphambili labonisa amandla alo okutsala abantu ngendlela elalinxiba ngayo, lithi: “Kwandenzela iingxaki ezininzi kuba kwakunzima ukwahlula umsebenzi wam nobomi bangasese. Babebaninzi abantu bezoshishino ababefuna ukubethwa ngumoya nam.” Umcwangcisi-mali olibhinqa, uthi xa echaza isimbo esahlukileyo: “Ndiye ndabona indlela amadoda awaphatha ngayo amabhinqa anxiba ngokungandilisekanga, okanye anxiba isidoda kakhulu. Kucingelwa ukuba ngamabhinqa adlongodlongo nazizijamankungwini yaye asoloko etsaliswa nzima ngamadoda.”
Intombazana eselula egama linguJeffie yafumanisa ukuba yayidlulisela ingcamango engaqondakaliyo xa yacheba iinwele ngendlela yesimbo esithile. Ikhumbula oku: “Ndandicinga ukuba zazikhangeleka ‘zahlukile.’ Kodwa abantu baqalisa ukundibuza, ‘Ngaba ngokwenene ungomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova?’ yaye oko kwandenza ndaneentloni.” UJeffie kwakufanele azibuze imibuzo enzulu. Eneneni, ngaba aliyonyaniso elokuba asiyomilomo yethu kuphela ethetha “ngokuphuma kwintabalala esentliziyweni” kodwa nesinxibo nendlela esizilungisa ngayo ziyathetha? (Mateyu 12:34) Sityhila ntoni isinxibo sakho—intliziyo efuna ukunikela ingqalelo kuMdali okanye kwisiqu sakho?
Nxiba ‘Ngengqondo Ephilileyo’
Kwakhona, cinga ngempembelelo iimpahla zakho ezinayo kuwe. Ukunxiba ngenjongo yokutsala abantu nokunxiba kakuhle ngokugqithiseleyo kusenokukwenza uzigwagwise, ukunxiba ngokungakhathali kusenokubonisa isimo sengqondo esingesihle ngesiqu sakho, yaye isikipa esibhengeza iqhawe lemifanekiso eshukumayo okanye lemidlalo okanye elinye igorha sisenokukukhokelela ekunquleni igorha—ukunqula izithixo. Ewe, iimpahla zakho zithetha nabanye—zibaxelela okuthile ngawe.
Zithetha ntoni iimpahla zakho ngawe xa unxibela ukucel’ injezu okanye ukutsala othile? Ngaba ubonakalisa ubuntu enyanisweni obufanele ukuba ulwela ukubeyisa? Ngapha koko, hlobo luni lomntu ofuna ukumtsala? Icebiso elikumaRoma 12:3 lisenokusinceda soyise ukuzigwagwisa, ukuzingca neengcinga ezingentle. Apho umpostile uPawulos usicebisa ukuba ‘singazicingeli ngakumbi kunokuba kuyimfuneko ukuzicingela; kodwa sicinge khon’ ukuze sibe nengqondo ephilileyo.’ Ukuba “nengqondo ephilileyo” kuthetha ukuba nengqiqo.
Oku kubaluleke ngokukhethekileyo kwabo bakwizikhundla zembopheleleko nabaphathiswe okuthile. Umzekelo wabo unempembelelo enkulu kwabanye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abo bazabalazela ukufumana amalungelo angakumbi enkonzo ebandleni lamaKristu nabafazi babo abangamaKristu ngokufanayo baya kubonakalisa ukuthozama nesimo sengqondo sentlonelo kwisinxibo sabo nakwindlela abazilungisa ngayo. Singaze sifune ukufana nendoda uYesu awayibonisayo kumzekeliso wakhe womsitho womtshato esithi: “Xa ukumkani wangenayo ukuze avelele iindwendwe wabona apho umntu owayengambathanga isambatho somtshato.” Akufumanisa ukuba le ndoda ayinasizathu sakunxiba isambatho esingafanelekanga, “ukumkani wathi kubakhonzi bakhe, ‘Mbopheni izandla neenyawo nize nimphose phandle.’”—Mateyu 22:11-13.
Ngaloo ndlela, kubalulekile ukuba abazali, ngokuthetha nangomzekelo bahlakulele kubantwana babo isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, nokhetho oluhle ngempahla. Oku kunokuthetha ukuba abazali bamele babe ngqongqo ngamanye amaxesha njengoko beqiqa nonyana okanye intombi yabo. Kodwa hayi indlela ekukhuthaza ngayo xa sinconywa singalindelanga ngenxa yomgangatho ophakamileyo wokunxiba nehambo yabaselula bethu neyethu!
Ewe, abakhonzi bakaYehova abazingci, abafuni zifashoni ezibiza imali eninzi yaye abanikeli ngqalelo egqithiseleyo kwiziqu zabo. Bakhokelwa yimigaqo yobuthixo, kungekhona umoya wehlabathi. (1 Korinte 2:12) Ukuba uphila ngale migaqo, akufanele kube nzima kakhulu ukukhetha impahla oyinxibayo. Ngapha koko, njengefreyimi yomfanekiso ekhethwe kakuhle, iimpahla zakho aziyi kubusitha ubuntu bakho okanye zibunyelise. Yaye okukhona uzama ukuba njengoThixo, kokukhona uya kuhlakulela ubuhle bokomoya obungenakufikelelwa kwaphela ziimpahla zakho.