Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Ndivakalelwa Kukuba Ndifanele Ndenze Izinto Ngendlela Egqibeleleyo?

“Ekubeni utata wayengumfundisi-ntsapho, wonk’ umntu wayelindele ukuba ndisoloko ndiphum’ emagqabini. Maxa wambi ndandilila de ndibiwe bubuthongo.”—ULeah.a

“Ndithanda ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo. Ndimele ndigqwese kuyo nayiphi na into endiyenzayo okanye ndiyenze ngendlela eyahluke ngokupheleleyo kweyabanye, okanye ndiyiyeke.”—UCaleb.

NGABA uvakalelwa kukuba ufanele usoloko usenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo? Ngaba awaneliseki yimiphumo yoko ukwenzileyo kungakhathaliseki ukuba uzame kangakanani? Ngaba akukwazi ukumelana nokugxekwa? Xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle, ngaba usoloko uzibek’ ityala, uzityhola ngokuba sisidenge, uzijongela phantsi okanye uziva ungento yanto? Ngaba uvakalelwa kukuba ukuze into yenziwe kakuhle, kufuneka uyenze ngokwakho? Ngaba uyakoyika ukuphoxeka kangangokuba maxa wambi uzibekela amangomso izinto okanye ungazenzi konke konke?

Kuthekani ngolwalamano lwakho nabanye? Ngaba akunabahlobo ngenxa yokuba abantu abasondele kuwe abazenzi ngendlela egqibeleleyo izinto? Ngaba ukhawuleza uzibone iimpazamo zabanye abantu? Ukuba uphendula ngokuthi ewe komnye wale mibuzo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ufuna izintozenziwe ngendlela egqibeleleyo. Yaye ukuba kunjalo, asinguwe wedwa onale ngxaki. Le yingxaki eqhelekileyo kulutsha—ingakumbi olo luneziphiwo ezithile okanye olukrelekrele.b

Yintoni ebangela ukuba umntu afune ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo? Abaphandi abaqinisekanga ngento ebangela oku. Incwadi ethi Perfectionism—What’s Bad About Being Too Good? ithi: “Ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo akusosifo; akuyonto yasulelayo. Akufumaneki kwimizila yemfuza; asiyonto uzalwa nayo. Ngoko yintoni ebangela ukuba ekugqibeleni ufune ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo? Ezinye iingcali zikholelwa ukuba ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kuqala kwasebuntwaneni. Ingcinezelo yentsapho, ukufuna ukugqwesa, ingcinezelo yabantu abakungqongileyo, ingcinezelo yamajelo eendaba nosukelo olungekho ngqiqweni lokufuna ukufana nabantu abathile abadumileyo zizinto ezibangela ukuba abantu basoloko bexhalabile, beziva benetyala yaye zibangela ukuba basebenze nzima ngokugqithiseleyo.”

Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kunokuba yingozi. Makhe siwuqwalasele nzulu lo mbandela nesizathu sokuba ube yingozi.

Kukuthini Ukufuna Ukwenza Izinto Ngendlela Egqibeleleyo?

Ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo asikokufuna nje ukwenza izinto ngendlela ephum’ emagqabini okanye ukwaneliseka koko ukwenzileyo. Ngapha koko, kwiMizekeliso 22:29, iBhayibhile iyamncoma umntu “onobuchule emsebenzini wakhe.” Kwakhona iBhayibhile ithetha ngabantu abahlakulela ubuchule bokwenza izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo. (1 Samuweli 16:18; 1 Kumkani 7:13, 14) Ngoko yinto entle ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela ephum’ emagqabini nokuzibekela usukelo oluphakamileyo kodwa olufikelelekayo. Ngaloo ndlela umntu ‘unokuwenza ubone okulungileyo umphefumlo wakhe ngenxa yokusebenza kwakhe nzima.’—INtshumayeli 2:24.

Noko ke, umntu ofuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo akalufumani ulwaneliseko. Akanambono ilungeleleneyo ngomsebenzi wakhe. Ngokutsho kwezinye iingcali, abantu abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo “bazibekela usukelo abangenako ukulufikelela (ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo), yaye abaneliseki nokuba sele beyenze kakuhle kangakanani na into.” Ngenxa yoko, ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo “kubangela uxinezeleko olungapheliyo, yaye kudla ngokubangela ukuba umntu azive engento yanto.” Njengoko enye incwadi isitsho, abantu abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo “bavakalelwa kukuba indawo abakuyo kuquka nendlela abazenza ngayo izinto, imele igqibelele. Bakholelwa kukuba nantoni na abayenzayo bafanele bayenze ngendlela egqibeleleyo, bangenzi nencinane impazamo.”

Kodwa ngaba uYesu akazange athi: “Nimele nigqibelele, njengoko uYihlo osemazulwini egqibelele”? (Mateyu 5:48) Watsho, kodwa uYesu wayengathethi ukuba umntu ufanele agqibelele. Ngapha koko, iBhayibhile ifundisa ukuba “bonke bonile baza basilela kuzuko lukaThixo.” (Roma 3:23) Ngoko wayethetha ukuthini uYesu? EBhayibhileni, ibinzana elithi ‘ukugqibelela’ lidlulisela ingcamango yokuzinikela ngokupheleleyo kuloo nto uyenzayo. (Mateyu 19:21) Xa uYesu wayesithi simele sigqibelele, wayethetha ngothando yaye ekhuthaza abafundi bakhe ukuba babonakalise uthando ngomlinganiselo opheleleyo. Njani? Ngokuthanda neentshaba zabo. Umbhali weBhayibhile uLuka wacaphula amazwi kaYesu athi: “Qhubekani nisiba nenceba, kanye njengoko uYihlo enenceba.”—Luka 6:36.

Noko ke, abantu abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo bazikhohlisa ngelithi banako ukwenza izinto ngendlela ephum’ emagqabini. Oku kunokubangela ukuba balindele lukhulu kwabanye abantu. Ngokutsho kwencwadi ethi Never Good Enough—Freeing Yourself From the Chains of Perfectionism, abantu abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo “abayithandi into yokuba izinto zenziwe ngendlela eyahlukileyo kweyabo . . . Bavakalelwa kukuba abanye abantu abanamdla wokuzenza kakuhle izinto yaye abanaqhayiya ngomsebenzi wabo.”

Ngokomzekelo, uCarly uqhuba kakuhle esikolweni, yaye ude wabhalisa kwizifundo zabantwana abaneziphiwo ezithile. Noko ke, akakwazi ukubaphatha kakuhle abanye. Uye waphulukana nabahlobo abaninzi ngenxa yokufuna ukuba bazenze ngendlela egqibeleleyo izinto. Uthi: “Ndicinga ukuba babengakhathali.”

Abanye abantu basenokufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kodwa bangalindeli oko kwabanye. Incwadi ethi Never Good Enough ithi abantu abanjalo bavakalelwa kukuba “kukho into ephosakeleyo ngabo okanye ngendlela abazenza ngayo izinto . . . , yaye bayixhalabele gqitha indlela abajongwa ngayo ngabanye abantu.”

Ingxaki Yokufuna Ukwenza Izinto Ngendlela Egqibeleleyo

Kunokuba kube yinto elungileyo neyingenelo, ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kudla ngokuba yingozi yaye kuyazonakalisa izinto. Ukanti kunokuba abantu benze izinto eziphum’ emagqabini, basuke basilele ngendlela emangalisayo. Indoda engumKristu egama linguDaniel ikhumbula ukuba yachitha iiyure ezininzi ilungiselela intetho eyayiza kuyinikela kwiHolo yoBukumkani yamaNgqina kaYehova kwindawo ehlala kuyo. Abaphulaphuli abaninzi bayincoma ngendlela eyinikele ngayo loo ntetho. Emva kwaloo ntetho, uDaniel wafumana amacebiso aluncedo kumqhubi wesikolo. IBhayibhile isikhuthaza ukuba ‘siphulaphule icebiso size samkele ingqeqesho.’ (IMizekeliso 19:20) Kodwa kunokuba awamkele loo macebiso, uDaniel uthi wavakalelwa kukuba imigudu yakhe iwe phantsi. Uthi: “Kwaba ngathi mandithi vuleka mhlaba ndingene.” Kwaqengqeleka iiveki kungehli nobuthongo.

Ngoko, ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kunobangela ukuba umntu angakwazi ukufunda izinto ezintsha. Kwinqaku le-Web site yolutsha, intwazana egama linguRachel yabhala yenjenje: “Ukuqala kwam ukufunda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, ndandizimisele ukuphum’ emagqabini. Ngaphambili ndandisoloko ndifumana amanqaku aphezulu yaye ndandingaboni nto inokutshintsha.” Kodwa uRachel wakhawuleza waphawula ukuba wayenengxaki kwizibalo (algebra) yaye wayefumana amanqaku aphantsi kulawo wayeqhele ukuwafumana. URachel uthi: “Abanye abafundi babengaboni nto imbi ngamanqaku endandiwafumana, kodwa kum . . . kwakulihlazo ukufumana loo manqaku. Oku kwandikhathaza . . . Ndandisoyika ukucela uncedo kumfundisi-ntsapho kuba ndandivakalelwa kukuba xa esazi ukuba ndifuna uncedo ekwenzeni umsebenzi wam wasekhaya, kuza kuba ngathi andiwazi. . . . Maxa wambi ndandizixelela ukuba kubhetele ndife kunokuba ndingafumani amanqaku aphezulu.”

Olunye ulutsha olukoyikayo ukungaphumeleli luye lucinge ukuzibulala. Okuvuyisayo kukuba, ulutsha oluninzi aluyicingi nokuyicinga into enjalo. Kodwa njengoko uSylvia Rimm oyingcali kwizigulo zengqondo esitsho, ukoyika ukungaphumeleli kunokubangela ukuba olunye ulutsha lungawenzi umsebenzi walo. Ngokutsho kwalo kaRimm, abanye abantu abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo “abawudluliseli kumfundisi-ntsapho umsebenzi wabo, abaneliseki yindlela abawenze ngayo, bayawulibala yaye bambi badla ngokubeka izizathu ezingavakaliyo.”

Kwelinye icala, olunye ulutsha luxolel’ ukwenza nantoni na ukuze luphumelele. “Ndandincama ubuthongo ndenze umsebenzi wesikolo ngenxa yokuba ndandingafuni kwenza mpazamo,” utsho njalo uDaniel. Ingxaki kukuba, koku kuzibhokoxa kanye okudla ngokubangela ukuba ubani angaphumeleli. Umfundi owozelayo akanako ukunikela ingqalelo epheleleyo kwinto ayenzayo.

Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba, umntu othanda ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo esoloko enomsindo, eziva engento yanto, ezibeka ityala, engenayo imbono elungeleleneyo ngezinto, engatyi ngendlela efanelekileyo yaye esoloko exinezelekile. Kodwa eyona nto imbi kukuba, ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kunokuba yingozi ngokomoya. Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile iyalela amaKristu ukuba athethe ngokholo lwawo kwabanye abantu. (Roma 10:10; Hebhere 10:24, 25) Noko ke, uVivian oselula wayemadolw’ anzima ukugqabaza kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu kuba wayesoyika ukubhuda. Ibhinqa eliselula, uLeah, lithi nalo lalivakalelwa ngendlela efanayo. Lithi: “Ukuba ndinokubhuda, abanye abantu baya kundithela nqa. Ngoko ndikhetha ukuthi cwaka.”

Kucacile ke ngoko ukuba, ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kuyingozi. Yaye ukuba unazo naziphi na iimpawu ezikhankanywe kweli nqaku, usenokubona ukuba kufuneka utshintshe indlela ocinga ngayo. Indlela onokukwenza ngayo oku iza kuxutyushwa kwixa elizayo.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 28]

Ukoyika ukwenza iimpazamo kunokubangela ukuba olunye ulutsha lungawugqibi umsebenzi walo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 29]

Ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo kunokubangela ukuba ubani adandatheke yaye azive engento yanto