Indima Yakho Njengomzali

UPETER GORSKI weSikolo Sezonyango SaseHarvard uthi: “Ukuba wenza umntwana azive ethandwa, esekhaya, ebalulekile yaye umvulele ithuba lokubuza izinto afuna ukuzazi, uyakhula nasengqondweni. Indima yethu bazali asikokwenza abantwana babe nengqondo egqibeleleyo, kodwa kukubakhulisa kakuhle, balungelelane baze babe nobuntu.”

Olunjani ulwaneliseko olufunyanwa ngumzali xa ebona umntwana wakhe ekhula enemilinganiselo efanelekileyo nenkathalo! Impumelelo koku, ixhomekeka koko ukwenzayo ukuze ube ngumzekelo, umhlobo, umntu anokuzityand’ igila kuye nokumfundisa. Nakuba bonke abantwana bezalwa benemilinganiselo ethile yokuziphatha, abazali bafanele baqhubeke bebethelela imilinganiselo yokuziphatha kubantwana babo njengoko bekhula.

Ngubani Onempembelelo Kubantwana Bakho?

Ziyabethabethana izimvo zabaphandi xa kufikelelwa kumbandela womntu oba nempembelelo enkulu ebantwaneni. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba ubukhulu becala baphenjelelwa ngoontanga. Kodwa uGqr. T. Berry Brazelton noGqr. Stanley Greenspan, iingcali ngokukhula kwabantwana bakholelwa ukuba indima yomzali yeyona ibalulekileyo ekuphembeleleni umntwana eselusana.

Izinto ahlangabezana nazo kamva nempembelelo yoontanga zongezelela kwindlela akhuliswe ngayo ekuqaleni. Ibalulekile into yokuba ekhaya, abantwana banyanyekelwe ngendlela ebonisa uvelwano nokuqonda. Bafanele bafundiswe nendlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngendlela eqolileyo. Abantwana abakhuliswe ngale ndlela badla ngokukwazi ukusebenzisana nabanye, babe novelwano yaye babacingele.

Ukuqeqesha umntwana eselusana kufuna umgudu. Ukuze niphumelele—ngakumbi ukuba ningabazali abasebatsha—bubulumko ukufuna ulwalathiso kwabanye abanamava nize ke nibe nendlela engqalileyo eniyilandelayo. Iingcali ziye zabhala intlaninge yeencwadi zokukhuliswa kwabantwana. Izihlandlo ezininzi oko zikuthethayo kuvisisana necebiso leBhayibhile elinokuthenjwa. Xa isetyenziswa, le migaqo inokuthenjwa yeLizwi likaThixo inceda abazali baphumelele ekuphembeleleni abantwana babo. Khawuqwalasele nje eli cebiso lilandelayo.

Babonise Ukuba Uyabathanda

Abantwana bafana nezityalo ezitsha ezikhula kakuhle xa zinyanyekelwa ngothando. Amanzi nelanga ayasihlaziya isityalo esitsha ukuze sikhule kakuhle size somelele. Ngokufanayo, abazali abahlala bebaxelela yaye bebabonisa ukuba bayabathanda abantwana babo, babenza bakhule kakuhle yaye bazinze.

IBhayibhile ithi: “Uthando luyakha.” (1 Korinte 8:1) Enyanisweni, abazali ababonisa abantwana babo ukuba bayabathanda baxelisa uMdali wabo, uYehova uThixo. IBhayibhile ithi xa wayebhaptizwa uYesu, weva ilizwi likaYise, echaza ukwaneliseka nokumthanda kwakhe njengoNyana Wakhe. Nakuba uYesu wayemdala kwamomeleza gqitha oko!—Luka 3:22.

Uthando olubonisayo, ixesha olichitha nabo xa beza kulala nemidlalo oyidlala nabo zizinto ezibalulekileyo ekukhuleni kwabo. UGqr. J. Fraser Mustard uthi: ‘Yonk’ into ayenzayo umntwana iba ngamava obomi. Ukuba umntwana ufunda ukukhasa, ibaluleke gqitha indlela omkhuthaza nosabela ngayo.’ Uthando nengqalelo ozinika umntwana wakho njengomzali zibeka isiseko esihle sokukhula kwakhe abe ngumntu omdala oqolileyo nokwaziyo ukusingatha iimbopheleleko.

Yiba Ngumhlobo Uncokole Nabo

Xa uchitha ixesha nabantwana bakho niba nolwalamano. Ukongezelela, batsho bakwazi ukuncokola. Oku kusondelelana—ekhaya kwezinye iindawo nangaliphi na ixesha elifanelekileyo—kuyakhuthazwa ziZibhalo.—Duteronomi 6:6, 7; 11:18-21.

Iingcali zokukhuliswa kwabantwana ziyavuma ukuba ixesha abazali abalichitha nabantwana babo libaluleke ngaphezu kwezinto zokudlala zobunewunewu okanye nantoni na enye abanokuyenza. Imidlalo engabizi mali kangako nemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla ingakunceda ufumane ixesha lokuncokola nabantwana bakho. Ngokomzekelo, ukuya nje kwipaki kunye niye kubukela indalo kunokuba lixesha elifanelekileyo kubazali ukuze babuze imibuzo eya kwenza bakwazi ukuncokola.

IZibhalo zithi likho ‘ixesha lokudloba.’ (INtshumayeli 3:1, 4) Ewe, abantwana kufuneka badlale ukuze bakhule engqondweni, ngeemvakalelo yaye bakwazi ukuphila nabanye abantu. Ngokutsho kukaGqr. Mustard, umdlalo asiyonto nje ibalulekileyo kodwa yinto efunekayo. Uthi: “Umdlalo yeyona nto yenza ingqondo yabantwana ikwazi ukwenza izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo.” Kwimidlalo abazicingela ngokwabo abantwana badla ngokudlala ngezinto nje eziqhelekileyo, njengekhadibhodi. Ukuba aziyongozi, izinto ezisendlwini zinokubangela umdla ebantwaneni njengezinto zobugcisa zokudlala ezibiza imali eninzi.a

Iingcali zikholelwa ukuba ukungxixha abantwana ngezinto ezininzi ezicetywe ngabazali kungawadodobalisa amandla abo okucinga nokwenza izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo. Kukhuthazwa ukuba abazali balungelelane. Vumela umntwana afunde ngezinto ezimngqongileyo ukuze abone oko anokukwenza. Umntwana usoloko efumana into ethile eza kumonwabisa. Noko ke, oku akuyisusi imbopheleleko yokuba wazi oko kwenziwa ngumntwana wakho nendawo adlala kuyo ukuze angazenzakalisi.

Ziphe Ixesha Lokubafundisa

Ukubafundisa kubalulekile ukuze ubaphembelele yaye bakhule ngendlela efanelekileyo abantwana bakho. Abazali abaninzi bacwangcisa ixesha elithile mini nganye ukuze bafundele abantwana babo ngokuvakalayo. Oku kubapha ithuba lokubafundisa indlela efanelekileyo yokuziphatha, nokubethelela imilinganiselo yokuziphatha esekelwe koko kuthethwa nguMdali wethu. IBhayibhile ithi umfundisi othembekileyo nomvangeli wasemazweni uTimoti ‘wayazi kwasebusaneni imibhalo engcwele.’—2 Timoti 3:15.

Ukufundela umntwana wakho kunokwenza ingqondo yakhe ibe krelekrele. Undoqo kukuba umntu obafundelayo umele abe nenyameko. Elumkisa ngomongo waloo nto uyifundela umntwana, unjingalwazi kwezemfundo uLinda Siegel uthi: “Ifanele ilungele abantwana.” Zama ukubafundela rhoqo ukwenza oko ngexesha elifanayo suku ngalunye. Xa usenjenjalo umntwana uhlala ekulangazelela ukufundelwa.

Ukufundisa kubandakanya uqeqesho. Abantwana banokungenelwa xa beqeqeshwa ngothando. IMizekeliso 13:1 ithi: “Unyana usisilumko apho kukho ingqeqesho kayise.” Noko ke, khumbula ukuba uqeqesho luquka izinto ezininzi. Ngokomzekelo, lusenokuba kukukhalimela okanye ukuhlutha amalungelo athile okanye iintlobo ezithile zesohlwayo. UGqr. Brazelton, ocatshulwe ekuqaleni uthi ingqeqesho “kukufundisa umntwana akwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo aphephe nemikhwa engafanelekanga. Nawuphi na umntwana kufuneka abekelwe imida. Ukongezelela eluthandweni, eyona nto ibalulekileyo unokuyinika umntwana wakho luqeqesho.”

Njengomzali unokuqiniseka njani ukuba indlela oqeqesha ngayo iyaphumelela? Ukuze uphumelele qinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uyasiqonda isizathu sokuqeqeshwa. Xa umluleka, kwenze oko ngendlela yokuba abone ukuba umkhathalele yaye uyamthanda.

Imigudu Ephumelelayo

UFred wayeyifundela yonke imihla intombi yakhe iselusana. Ethubeni waphawula ukuba intombi yakhe iwazi ngentloko amabali amaninzi, amagama nezandi ezithile ezisencwadini. Omnye umzali nguChris owayekuphaphele ukufundela abantwana bakhe. Wenza umgudu ukuze abafundele izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo. Xa babesebancinane gqitha abantwana bakhe wayesebenzisa imifanekiso ekwiincwadi ezifana nethi Incwadi Yam Yamabali EBhayibhile ukuze abafundise ngemilinganiselo yokuziphatha nezinto zokomoya.b

Ukongezelela ekufundeleni abantwana abanye abazali babenzisa izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo—ukuzoba, ukupeyinta, ukudlala umculo, ukuya kugxumeka iintente okanye ukutyelela kwiindawo ezifana nomzi wogcino zilwanyana njengentsapho. Ezi zihlandlo zinokuba ngamathuba okufundisa nokubethelela imilinganiselo yokuziphatha entliziyweni nasengqondweni efundiseka lula yomntwana.

Ngaba akuyonkcitha xesha oku? Abazali abenza konke okusemandleni abo besebenzisa ulwalathiso olufanelekileyo ukuze abantwana bazive beseluxolweni yaye benqabisekile, banethuba elihle lokubabona bekhula benesimo sengqondo esihle. Ukuba ubaphembelela besebancinane abantwana bakho ukuba basebenzise ingqondo bakwazi nokuncokola nabantu, uya kubanceda babe nemilinganiselo yokuziphatha neyokomoya.

Kwakwiinkulungwane ezadlulayo iBhayibhile yatsho phandle kwiMizekeliso 22:6, yathi: “Yiqeqeshe inkwenkwe ngokwendlela yayo; naxa indala ayisayi kuphambuka kuyo.” Ngokuqinisekileyo abazali banendima ebalulekileyo ekuqeqesheni umntwana. Babonise ukuba uyabathanda abantwana bakho. Chitha ixesha nabo, ubaphembelela yaye ubafundise. Xa usenjenjalo ekugqibeleni baya kuvuya, nawe ngokunjalo.—IMizekeliso 15:20.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 7]

Ukudlala Nabantwana Bakho

◼ Abantwana abakwazi kunikela ingqalelo kwinto enye ixesha elide, ngoko dlala nabo xa befuna.

◼ Ukuba basebenzisa izinto zokudlala, qinisekisa ukuba aziyongozi yaye zibavula ingqondo.

◼ Dlala imidlalo eza kubenza basebenze. Abantwana bavuya gqitha xa bekubilisa bekomisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo, njengaxa bemana bekucholisa into yokudlala abayiwisileyo.

[Inkcazelo]

Umthombo: Clinical Reference Systems

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

Amacebiso Xa Ufundela Umntwana Wakho

◼ Thetha ngokucacileyo yaye uwabize kakuhle amagama. Umntwana ufunda ulwimi ngokuphulaphula abazali xa bethetha.

◼ Xa besebancinane gqitha abantwana yalatha uze uwabize ngokucacileyo amagama abantu nezinto ezizotywe kwiincwadi zamabali.

◼ Xa umntwana emdala, khetha iincwadi ezithetha ngezinto anomdla kuzo ngelo xesha.

[Inkcazelo]

Umthombo: Pediatrics for Parents

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 8, 9]

Chithani ixesha nizihlaziya ngendlela eyonwabisayo kunye nabantwana benu