Ngaba Umntwana Wakho ‘Ukhula Ngendlela Enokumenza Asinde’?

BONKE abazali abangamaKristu bafuna ukubona abantwana babo bekhulela ekubeni ngamaKristu akhulileyo navuthiweyo. Ngelishwa, oko akusoloko kusenzeka. Akuzenzekeli nje konke konke ukuba umntwana womzali ongumKristu abe uya kukhulela ekubeni ngumKristu ngaphandle kokuncedwa. Kutheni oko kunjalo nje?

Esinye isizathu sinokusibona kumazwi ka Petros athi: “Ngokweentsana ezisandula ukuzalwa, yakhani ulangazelelo lwamasi angawelizwi nangenankohliso, ukuze ngawo nibe nokukhula ukuze nizuze usindiso.” (1 Petros 2:2, 3, NW) Isibongozo sokuba ‘bakhe ulangazelelo’ sibonisa ukuba abantwana bethu abayi kuthi ngokuzenzekelayo bazilangazelele izinto zokomoya. Ulangazelelo olunjalo kusenokufuneka silwakhe, okanye silukhulise, kubo. Kanti, njengokuba esi sibhalo sikwabonisa, usindiso lubandakanyekile. Kanye njengokuba abantwana kufuneka bafunde ukukuthanda ukutya okunempilo ukuze bakhulele kubudala obusempilweni, ngoko bamele bafunde ukukunandipha ukutya kokomoya ukuze ‘bakhule ngendlela enokubenza basinde.’

Bazali—ngaba ninabo abantwana abangekabikho kwishumi elivisayo? Ngaba ucwangciso lwenu lokukhulisa umntwana nokumqeqesha lusebenze kakuhle ukuza kuthi ga ngoku? Ukuba kunjalo, oko kuhle. Noko ke, izinto zisenokuguquka ebudeni beminyaka yeshumi elivisayo. Enyanisweni, ngoxa iingxaki zokufikisa maxa wambi zingundabamlonyeni, abazali abanamava balumkisa ngelithi ufanele uwalindele amaxesha anxunguphalisayo ebudeni belo xesha. Ngaba loo maxesha unokuwalungiselela ngoku, ngoxa umntwana wakho eselula? Ewe, kukho amanyathelo aqinisekileyo onokuwathabatha. Ngokomzekelo, sifanele sibancede bavelise . . .

Ulwalamano Olusenyongweni NoYehova

USamuweli oselula, okuzalwa kwakhe kwakukukuphendulwa komthandazo kaHana, unina, ‘wakhulela kuYehova.’ (1 Samuweli 2:20, 21) Okunjani kona ukumangalisa okwaba kuko oko kukhuliswa! Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba ngesinye isihlandlo abazali bazisa abantwana babo abaselula kuYesu. Ekuqaleni, abafundi babakhalimela, kodwa “ekubonile oku uYesu, wacaphuka, wathi kubo, Bavumeleni abantwana beze kum, ningabaleli: ngokuba ubukumkani bukaThixo bubobabo banjalo.” UYesu wakholiswa kukuzisa kwabazali abantwana babo kuye. Wabathabathela ezingalweni abantwana waza wabasikelela.—Marko 10:13-16.

Ngaba abazali namhlanje banokubanceda abantwana babo ukuba ‘bakhulele kuYehova’ baze babazise kuYesu Kristu, ngaloo ndlela bebanceda ukuba bavelise ulwalamano noYehova noYesu? Banako, kodwa kufuna ixesha. UYesu wayekuvuma ukuchitha ixesha nabantwana babanye abantu, ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo sinokuchithela ixesha sinabethu. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, sifanele siqale kwasebuntwaneni, njengokuba unina kaTimoti wenzayo. (2 Timoti 3:15) Sifanele sithethe ngoYehova nangoYesu njengabantu bokwenene, sifundisa abantwana bethu ukuba baxabise ezinye zezinto ezimangalisayo ezidalwe ngabo. Xa sibasa emyezweni, kwindawo yokugcinwa kwezilwanyana, okanye sibabukise ilizwe, sinokubanceda babone isandla sikaYehova kwimimangaliso abayibonayo. Ngokuncokola nabo, sinokukhulisa kubo umnqweno wokwenza okufanelekileyo kuba oku kuyamkholisa uYehova uThixo noYesu Kristu. (Thelekisa iDuteronomi 6:7.) Musa ukukubetha ngoyaba ukwenza oku. Ixesha lobuncinane babantwana bethu lifutshane gqitha. Bakhula ngokukhawuleza, ngoko ixesha esilichitha nabo lixabisekile.—Mateyu 19:13-15.

Kakade ke, indleia ephambili yokufundisa abantwana bethu inyaniso nokubanceda bazuze ubuhlobo noYehova sisifundo seBhayibhile sentsapho. Noko ke, esi siya kuba sesona sinempumelelo ukuba thina . . .

Sisenza Sinandipheke

Umama ofuna umntwana wakhe anandiphe ukudla okunempilo akanyanzeli zigilaxa zako emqaleni wakhe. Kunoko, uyakulungiselela ukuba kube luncuthu aze amkhuthaze umntwana ukuba adle iinxalenye ezincinane zako ngexesha, ngokuthe ngcembe esakha umdla kuko. Kufuneka into efanayo nakukutya kokomoya. Enoba ucwangciso lokufundisisa uluqalisa okwesihlandlo sokuqala okanye ufuna ukwenza into ethile ngocwangciso lwakho kuba umntwana wakho ekruquka, kufuneka kwainto efanayo. Zabalazela ukwenza ucwangciso lube lolunomdla.

Ebantwaneni akuyomfuneko ukuba ubambelele kwindlela eqhelekileyo yemibuzo neempendulo, akuyomfuneko nokuba wenze ufundisiso ngalunye lube nobude obungangeyure. Lwenze lulungele umntwana wakho. Mxelele amabali angabadlali beBhayibhile. Mvumele azobe imifanekiso yeBhayibhile. Bavumele abantwana badlale iziganeko nemidlalo yeBhayibhile. Banike umsebenzi wasekhaya amabawulungiselele. Wenze ube ngodlamkisayo yaye wahlukahlukane. Ufuna ukuba umntwana wakho ‘akhe ulangazelelo’ ngelizwi, ngoko lwenze lungcamleke kangangoko unako kuye.—1 Petros 2:2, 3.

Imiphumo iwufanele umgudu kuba ihlala ihleli. Ukuba umntwana wakho uyazinandipha izinto zokomoya xa esemncinane, unokuncedwa akhulise ulwalamano olusenyongweni noYehova oluya kuhlala luhleli ebudeni bobomi bakhe. “Mqalise ngendlela efanelekileyo umntwana, yaye kwanasekwaluphaleni akayi kuyishiya.” (IMizekeliso 22:6, The English Bible) Kodwa kukho nto ithile eya kunceda umntwana wakho ukuba avelise uthando lwezinto zokomoya. Yintoni leyo?

Intsapho Eyonwabileyo Nelungeleleneyo

Ewe, kanye njengokuba isityalo sikhula ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo xa umhlaba uchumile nemekobume ifanelekile, ngoko umntwana uya kukhula ngokomoya kwimekobume yentsapho eyonwabileyo. Noko ke, ukuze imekobume enjalo ibekho, amalungu entsapho kufuneka achithe ixesha ekunye. Bazali, ngaba niyaqinisekisa ukuba amalungu entsapho yenu achitha ixesha kunye yaye encokolisana? Ngaba ninawo umthetho wentsapho ongokubukela umabonwakude? ongokuzihlaziya? ongokukhetha umculo? ongofundisiso Iwentsapho? ongeminye imisebenzi yokomoya? lyintoni imekobume yentsapho ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa? Kumakhaya amaninzi isidlo sangokuhlwa lelona xesha lilungileyo lokuba intsapho ibe kunye. Sinikela ithuba lokuxubusha ngoko bekusenzeka emini, ukuba nesabelo kwiziqhulo ezithile nokuthetha kungangxanywanga. Linokulungela wonk’ ubani.

Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba ngoxa abantwana befuna imisebenzi yokomoya ibe kufuneka befeze iimbopheleleko zabo ekhayeni, kananjalo bayalifuna ixesha lokudlala. UCharles R. Foster, kwincwadi yakhe ethi Psychology for Life Today, wathi: “Beyiqonda imbaluleka yokuzihlaziya ebomini babantwana babo, abazali bafanele babalungiselele abantwana babo ukuba bakunandiphe oko. . . . Abantwana, njengokuba bekhula, bafanele balubone ulwalamano phakathi koku kuzihlaziya neendleko zentsapho kwaneembopheleleko zekhaya. Ukuba bayaluqonda olu lwalamano, yaye bengasebenzisi ukuzihlaziya njengento yokuphepha imisebenzi neembopheleleko zasekhaya, kuya kubakho imekobume eyonwabisa ngakumbi ekhayeni.”

Abazali abanceda abantwana babo ukuba babonise isimo sengqondo esilungeleleneyo ngokuzihlaziya, ngomsebenzi nangemicimbi yokomoya bafak’ isandla kakhulu ekunandipheni komntwana izinto zokomoya nasekusondeleni kwakhe kuYehova.(Thelekisa Timoti 3:4b; Tito 3:3.) Inkqubela enjalo iya kubazisela uvuyo olukhulu. Yaye kukho enye into abanokuqalisa ukuyenza ukuze umntwana wabo azixabise izinto zokomoya kwasebuncinaneni bakhe:

Mncede Azibekele Usukelo Olufanelekileyo

UKumkani osisilumko uSolomon wanikela icebiso elilungileyo ekukhuliseni umntwana xa wathi: “Mfundise umntwana ngendlela efanele umntwana; naxa athe wamkhulu akasayi kumka kuyo.” (IMizekeliso 22:6) Ukuthi ‘ngendlela emfaneleyo’ kunokuthetha ukumfundisa ngobuchule bakhe, okanye, ngokunokwenzeka ngakumbi, ngohlobo lobomi, ngendlela, ngosukelo lobomi, obuya kumvumela alunyule yena. Ngaloo ndlela, enye yezona ndlela zibalukileyo umzali anokufak’ isandla ngazo kulonwabo nakubumoya bomntwana wakhe kukumnceda azimisele usukelo oluhle. Olu sukelo lumele lube lolufanelekileyo yaye lube lolokwenene. Lukwafanele lufikelelwe ngexesha elisengqiqweni. Ngoko, xa olu sukelo lufikelelwe, oku kuya kumkhuthaza umntwana ukuba azimisele olunye usukelo oluphakame ngakumbi.

Kuyimpazamo eqhelekileyo ukulindela umntwana ukuba azimisele usukelo lwakhe ebomini. Amava omntwana alinganiselwe gqitha. Ukuba abazali abamncedi ukuba azimisele usukelo, uthile ongomnye uya kumnceda—mhlawumbi abantwana afunda nabo okanye abacebisi abasesikolweni. Abazali abangamaKristu banokumnceda umntwana wabo azimisele usukelo oluvisisana nokuxabisa kwakhe izinto zokomoya. Abantwana abaselula banokukwenza usukelo lwabo ukufanelekela ukuba babhalise kwiSikolo Sobulungiseleli Sobuthixo. Kwinkonzo yasentsimini, usukelo oluhle olunokufikelelwa ingakukwazi ukunikela iphecana endlwini, ukunikela intshumayelo yephephancwadi, kuze ke kube kukunikela intshumayelo elula. KunokumiseIwa usukelo lokufundisisa. Ngokuthe ngcembe abantwana banokufunda ulandelelwano lweencwadi zeBhayibhile baze bagcine entloko iZibhalo ezithile eziziintloko. Kufanele kuthethwe ngosukelo lomsebenzi kwasekuqaleni. Ngoxa abacebisi besikolo beya kunikela uhlobo olunye lomsebenzi, abazali abangamaKristu banokubethelela usukelo oluya kwanelisa ulangazelelo olukhulayo lomntwana ekukhonzeni uYehova, njengokuba nguvulindlela, ukuba seBheteli nokuba kwinkonzo yobuvangeli basemazweni.

Abazali bakwafuna umntwana wabo avelise uphawu lokufanelekela imbopheleleko. Banokumnceda aqeqeshe isazela sakhe ngemigaqo esisiseko yeBhayibhile. Njengoko ekhula, bafanele bamncede azi ukuba bamthembile ukuba uya kwenza into elungileyo. Kwamanye amalinge banokumnika inkululeko ethile encinane yaye ukuba umntwana wenza impazamo, banokumnceda ukuba afunde kuyo, kunokumgxeka ngokuqatha. Ukuzuza igama lokuba ngothenjiweyo yinto abantwana abaya kuba neqhayiya ngokuyizuza, yaye iya kufak’ isandla ‘ekukhuleni kwabo ngendlela enokubenza basinde.’

Njengokuba umntwana ekhula, abazali bayaziqwalasela iinguqulelo baze ngokuphapha bahlengahlengise imfundiso noqeqesho ngokwezo meko zintsha. Banyaniseke ngokupheleleyo yaye bakhululekile kuye. Bayancokola ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo zizenzo neenguqulelo zakhe. Ngokunyaniseka nokukhululeka kuye, banethemba lokumnceda ancokole ngokukhululeka nabo—akayi kuba ngumhambi kowabo.

UDavide oselula wahlakulela ulangazelelo lwezinto zokomoya. Iindumiso awazibhalayo zityhila uxabiso olunzulu ngothando lukaYehova. (INdumiso 23:1-6) Oku kuthembela ngoYehova kwamnceda xa kwakufuneka ejongene nebhere lasendle, ingonyama, ekugqibeleni nesigebenga esingumFilisti uGoliyati awathi woyikisa umkhosi wonke wamaSirayeli. Khawuthelekelele nje indlela anokuba uYese, uyise kaDavide, wayeneqhayiya ngayo ngenxa yokholo lukaDavide! UDavide wavelisa ubuhlobo noYehova obahlala buhleli kubo bonke ubomi bakhe. (1 Samuweli 17:32-37, 45-50; INdumiso 19:9, 10, 14; 15:1, 2; 24:3, 4) Abantwana bethu banokwakha ubuhlobo obufanayo baze nathi ngokufanayo basenze sibe neqhayiya—ngoncedo lwethu. Kodwa oku asinakukwenza sisodwa.

Thandazela Uncedo

Xa uManowa weva ukuba wayeza kuba nomntwana, wacela ukwalathiswa ngendlela yokukhulisa umntwana nendlela yokumqeqesha. UYehova wawuphendula umthandazo wakhe. (ABagwebi 13:8, 12, 24) Ngokunjalo, nabazali namhlanje abafanele bakutyeshele ukuthandaza kuYehova ngabantwana babo, becela ubulumko kuye njengokuba bezama ukubalathisela kwindlela yobomi. USamuweli, owayengumprofeti kaYehova, wakugqala njengento ‘ekukona kuYehova’ ukuba wayekutyeshela ukuthandazela abantu bakaYehova.(1 Samuweli 12:23; thelekisa IMizekeliso 1:24, 25.) Sifanele sizive sinembopheleleko enjalo ngabantwana bethu. Sifuna bavelise isimo sengqondo sokomoya. Ukuluthandazela ngokuthe rhoqo uncedo kubalulekile.

Mus’ Ukuncama

Ngaba kukho into elula kwezi? Kakade ke akunjalo. Kuyanceda kodwa asikokupuca. Xa umntwana wethu esiba kwishumi elivisayo, iingxaki namanqam ngokuqinisekileyo ziza kukhula. Kodwa xa zibalasela, mus’ ukubethwa luvalo. Zisingathe nganye nganye uze ungalindeli imimangaliso. Qina, kodwa ungabi ngqwabalala; kuphephe ukuthetha amazwi ahlabayo kodwa ngomonde zinzisa ingxaki. Ukuba silondoloza ukuzola kwethu ngale ndlela, ngokuqhelekileyo amanqam ayedlula, yaye kwakhona sinokunandipha ukusondelelana nomntwana wethu.

Bonke abazali aboyik’ uThixo babafunela okona kulungileyo abantwana babo. Sifuna ukuba ‘bazixabise izinto ezingcwele,’ bakhe ulangazelelo ngelizwi likaThixo, abaya kuthi ngalo babe ‘nokukhula ngendlela enokubenza basinde.’ Maxa wambi, kuyinyaniso ukuba, phezu kwawo nje umsebenzi onzima nomninzi, abazali abangamaKristu babona abantwana babo bekhula baze ke bayichase inyaniso. Sekunjalo, ukusebenza kwethu ngenkuthalo kuya kunciphisa ukwenzeka kwale nto. Ngoncedo lukaYehova siya kusebenza nzima siqeqesha abantwana bethu ngokwendlela ebafaneleyo. Kwanga umvuzo wethu ungakukubabona benyamezela endleleni yenyaniso kubo bonke ubomi babo.—Hebhere 12:16; 1 Petros 2:2; IMizekeliso 22:6.

[Amagama acatshuliweyo akwiphepha 28]

UYesu wayekuvuma ukuchitha ixesha nabantwana babanye abantu. Ngokuqinisekileyo sinokuchitha ixesha sinabethu

[Amagama acatshuliweyo akwiphepha 29]

Ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho ‘alilangazelele ilizwi,’ lenze lingcamleke kangangoko kunokwenzeka kuye